# Eat penguin shit, you ass spelunker **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 20, 1999, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eat-penguin-shit-you-ass-spelunker/3155 "1999-11-20T23:56:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 1999, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eat-penguin-shit-you-ass-spelunker/3155/1 "1999-11-20T23:56:00Z")
I heard that in a .wav file from the South Park movie, and I just had to use it somewhere. Thanks for your time. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 1999, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eat-penguin-shit-you-ass-spelunker/3155/2 "1999-11-21T19:35:00Z")
\You, sir, are a human carbuncle. You lead us all on with an interesting topic title like this one, and it turns out to be the lame-ass post of an incontinent squirrel molester such as your own sorry self. Go play in traffic, swine.\ * * * Is an appreciation of beauty a function of the human soul? ---
**Author:** ![counterattackii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/41988e/32.png) [@counterattackii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/counterattackii)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 1999, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eat-penguin-shit-you-ass-spelunker/3155/3 "1999-11-21T20:55:00Z")
I agree! You wasted a good post space (not to mention quote) on some ridiculous WANT to say that. Thanks for being a total waste of space. ---
**Author:** ![Ringo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/779978/32.png) [@Ringo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ringo)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 1999, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eat-penguin-shit-you-ass-spelunker/3155/4 "1999-11-21T21:08:00Z")
I think there’s a near infinite supply of post space, but I really thought you were going to rip heatherlee a new one, and now you’ve gone and got daniel shouting again. ---
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 1999, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eat-penguin-shit-you-ass-spelunker/3155/5 "1999-11-21T21:14:00Z")
Revtim, should you, by some bizzare twist of fate, be nibbled to death by a Muscovy duck, rest assured that no one will shed a tear. A perfectly good arrow, shot into thin air. Grrr. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 1999, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eat-penguin-shit-you-ass-spelunker/3155/6 "1999-11-21T21:45:00Z")
You, madam or sir, are a teratomatic paramecium swimming through the gonorrheally infected fallopian tubes of a genetically-modified-cheese-eating, crack-sniffing, Donahue-watching, gangrenous strumpet. ---
**Author:** ![Ayesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 1999, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eat-penguin-shit-you-ass-spelunker/3155/7 "1999-11-21T21:58:00Z")
Damn, Matt, I bow before your flamage !(Is that a word ? ) Everyone else’s were pretty good too. But that one is a classic. I am humbled * * * Ayesha - Lioness * * * There are two solutions to every problem : the wrong one, and mine (Thomas A. Edison) ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 1999, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eat-penguin-shit-you-ass-spelunker/3155/8 "1999-11-21T22:52:00Z")
To those whose pathetic “flames” (if you can grace those dog-sperm dribblings with that moniker) were aimed at me, I cordially invite you to blow me while I shit, you ass-plundering, frozen tampon popsicle sucking, yak felching cockmasters. ---
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 1999, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eat-penguin-shit-you-ass-spelunker/3155/9 "1999-11-21T22:54:00Z")
Now that’s more like it! * * * This space for rent. ---
**Author:** ![counterattackii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/41988e/32.png) [@counterattackii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/counterattackii)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 1999, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eat-penguin-shit-you-ass-spelunker/3155/10 "1999-11-22T00:07:00Z")
Quite simply, if you weren’t such an ignorant individual that claims to be a part of homosapiens rather than the product of its reversed process of its evolution, you would have had the sense not to put such an obviously provoking thread out in the forum. ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 1999, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eat-penguin-shit-you-ass-spelunker/3155/11 "1999-11-22T02:08:00Z")
Been waiting for the opportunity to toss this at someone – this seems the appropriate time and place: “Oh [insert name], you are so mercifully free of the ravages of intelligence.” That’s from a movie. “Time Bandits”, maybe. Ain’t it great?! ---
**Author:** ![engineerboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f07891/32.png) [@engineerboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/engineerboy)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 1999, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eat-penguin-shit-you-ass-spelunker/3155/12 "1999-11-22T07:36:00Z")
Uncle fucker!! Waste my valuable time… uh, wait, um… ok, I’m slacking off, but you’re still a dirty rotten shitbag, uncle fucker. Sincerely, Engineerboy ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 1999, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eat-penguin-shit-you-ass-spelunker/3155/13 "1999-11-23T06:09:00Z")
Gobble my crank, scrote licker! If I had been just a _little_ bit faster than your family dog, then _I’d_ be your daddy. You, sir, are an example of why animals eat their young. Now piss off, you dingleberry chewing, toe cheese sucking, roller feltching, crack smoking, “I’ll blow you for a McNugget” saying, Eric Estrada fantasizing over, one chromosome missing, can’t-get-laid-with-an-inflatable-date-looking, skidmark. That was fun! Thanks! * * * You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 1999, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eat-penguin-shit-you-ass-spelunker/3155/14 "1999-11-23T06:50:00Z")
You sir are a boner-biting, flatulance huffing, Ron Jeremy butt-crack sniffing, knob gobbling, ass-lizard licking, urinal cake tasting, wookiee raping, smegma sucking, ass pimple popping, nut hair weaving, sphincter stretching, shit corn eater. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 1999, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eat-penguin-shit-you-ass-spelunker/3155/15 "1999-11-23T01:55:00Z")
\Revtim: you are well known as an EWOK MOLESTER. And there is nothing lower than somebody who can tolerate THOSE little bastards. Except for Ewoks themselves that is… Oh, No. OH, NOOOOO!!! IT CAN’T BE! IT’S TOO HORRIBLE! REVTIM IS A GODDAMM EWOK!!! And he’s sleeping with Jar-Jar, too. Now that’s REALLY tacky!\ * * * Is an appreciation of beauty a function of the human soul? ---
**Author:** ![keystream](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a3d4f5/32.png) [@keystream](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/keystream)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 1999, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eat-penguin-shit-you-ass-spelunker/3155/16 "1999-11-23T02:42:00Z")
Shoe-polish smellin’ motherfuckers. You should all be saving this shit for when you need it. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 1999, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eat-penguin-shit-you-ass-spelunker/3155/17 "1999-11-23T02:44:00Z")
At least I’m not an HTML abuser… ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 1999, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eat-penguin-shit-you-ass-spelunker/3155/18 "1999-11-23T03:49:00Z")
matt\_mcl wrote: > [@](#): > > You, madam or sir, are a teratomatic paramecium swimming through the gonorrheally infected fallopian tubes of a genetically-modified-cheese-eating, crack-sniffing, Donahue-watching, gangrenous strumpet. Hey! Paramecia don’t infect strumpets! ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 1999, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eat-penguin-shit-you-ass-spelunker/3155/19 "1999-11-23T21:28:00Z")
Felch your uncle after Rush Limbaugh fucks him, you withered, grotesque excuse for a specious pseudoflagellate excrescence on a guano-covered platypus’s arse! _pauses for breath_ ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 1999, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eat-penguin-shit-you-ass-spelunker/3155/20 "1999-11-23T21:36:00Z")
I really have to object to all you clowns abusing yer poor old UncleBeer like that. That’s it, yer all outta the will. * * * **Dopeler effect:** The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eat-penguin-shit-you-ass-spelunker/3155.md?page=2)