# Eat Pray Love (the movie): is Elizabeth Gilbert a \[expletive\] or is it just me? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 1, 2010, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eat-pray-love-the-movie-is-elizabeth-gilbert-a-expletive-or-is-it-just-me/562510 "2010-12-01T04:31:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Baal\_Houtham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baal_houtham/32/13604_2.png) [@Baal\_Houtham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baal_Houtham)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2010, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eat-pray-love-the-movie-is-elizabeth-gilbert-a-expletive-or-is-it-just-me/562510/101 "2010-12-02T20:09:09Z")
> [@heatmiserfl](#): > > I’m still not getting this. Why would either partner want to continue a marriage in which one of the partners is no longer in love? > > Also, he wanted children. Should he have children with someone who doesn’t love him? Hi **Heatmizr** , My take: Love is more “actions and attitude” than it is a feeling. Anyone who expects a SO to provide ongoing joy after the initial rush of romantic love is going to have problems with marriage and should probably just live together with someone. You can reasonable expect a spouse to: –actively try to see your side –to do “little favors” for you –to try to satisfy most of your sexual desires –to support and encourage your ambitions as long as they don’t hurt the relationship (… so if your ambition is to watch TV all day, that’s not good.) These are Actions and Attitude. If a spouse does all that, merely “falling out of love with the person” is a shitty reason to leave the marriage – unless both partners mutually decide to break up. If the wife wants kids and the husband absolutely does not, then they might well mutually decide to end things, and it would be fine. If you were ever in love with your spouse, and they don’t give you reason to stop being in love, then you should consciously decide to stay “in love” with them. I love my wife, my dog and my child. If a young lady with a nice figure and good teeth should become fascinated with me and want me to move to Toronto with her it would be a a rotten thing to do, even if I was swept up in Love for young lady and suddenly felt only indifference to wife, child and dog. Being “in love” or “not in love” is pretty much unimportant in such a case. The actions and attitudes of my wife/dog/daughter haven’t changed, and I’ll try to not change mine merely because I’m not feeling “love.” Again, people can do what they want and it’s not the end of the world. especially if there are no children involved. But anyone who feels that a wealthy guy shouldn’t trade in his 45 yo wife for a newer model, shouldn’t approve of a woman leaving (and hurting) a man just because she is no longer “in love.” Please excuse all the quotation marks around “love” but it means a lot of different things at a lot of different times. ---
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2010, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eat-pray-love-the-movie-is-elizabeth-gilbert-a-expletive-or-is-it-just-me/562510/102 "2010-12-02T20:22:46Z")
**Baal Houtham** has nailed it. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2010, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eat-pray-love-the-movie-is-elizabeth-gilbert-a-expletive-or-is-it-just-me/562510/103 "2010-12-02T20:43:13Z")
If you really believed that **Lemur866** was trying to pass of Shakespeare’s work as his or her own, **pedescribe** – and I’m with those who are somewhere between :dubious: and :rolleyes: that you would seriously believe that – the proper thing to do in such a case is report the post, not malign the poster. Don’t do this again. **twickster** , Cafe Society moderator ---
**Author:** ![heatmiserfl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df705f/32.png) [@heatmiserfl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/heatmiserfl)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2010, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eat-pray-love-the-movie-is-elizabeth-gilbert-a-expletive-or-is-it-just-me/562510/104 "2010-12-02T22:07:55Z")
> [@Baal\_Houtham](#): > > Hi **Heatmizr** , > > My take: Love is more “actions and attitude” than it is a feeling. Anyone who expects a SO to provide ongoing joy after the initial rush of romantic love is going to have problems with marriage and should probably just live together with someone. Actions and attitudes can’t be separated from feelings and emotions. Long term memory requires emotional context. Subsequent actions and attitudes are influenced by the memories. So even defining love and trying to differentiate it from infatuation or romantic love is pretty tough. We humans like to think we’re rational and capable of having the correct attitude and act accordingly but we’re not and we don’t, all the time. We also like to think that love and friendship are special forces that are always present and only need some work to keep going. Working on relationships typically helps them but not always. Where it won’t work is when something about the people changes significantly, personality or perspective on life. I’m not talking about midlife crisis or chasing after young meat. I’m talking about people changing enough that they are no longer compatible. Drastic changes don’t happen often but they can. This happens frequently in peoples’ 20’s but sometimes later, particularly due to a life-altering event. The effort to “work things out” in this situation may be futile and I don’t even see the point as long as children are not involved. Disclaimer: people also thing they “fell out of love” because they simply became bored. That’s also not what I’m talking about. In fact, boredom is fairly easy to fix in a relationship. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2010, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eat-pray-love-the-movie-is-elizabeth-gilbert-a-expletive-or-is-it-just-me/562510/105 "2010-12-02T22:10:12Z")
Nothing changed in this case. She just left on a capricious, childish whim (most probably because she was already sleeping with that other guy). ---
**Author:** ![heatmiserfl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df705f/32.png) [@heatmiserfl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/heatmiserfl)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2010, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eat-pray-love-the-movie-is-elizabeth-gilbert-a-expletive-or-is-it-just-me/562510/106 "2010-12-02T22:23:16Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Nothing changed in this case. She just left on a capricious, childish whim (most probably because she was already sleeping with that other guy). Yeah, back to the topic of the thread, I agree. My comments were directed to some people thinking that because someone wants a divorce after 6 years that person must have not been in love in the first place or is a cunt. I think that’s pretty simplistic. ---
**Author:** ![Capitaine\_Zombie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e95f7d/32.png) [@Capitaine\_Zombie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capitaine_Zombie)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2010, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eat-pray-love-the-movie-is-elizabeth-gilbert-a-expletive-or-is-it-just-me/562510/107 "2010-12-02T22:31:44Z")
There’s probably more thoughts in the whole of this thread than in the navel-gazing faux-feminist book writen by a caricature of “Female Magazine Contributor”. I am amazed that this thread could go on for 3 pages. ---
**Author:** ![sebazenlama](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/48db29/32.png) [@sebazenlama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sebazenlama)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eat-pray-love-the-movie-is-elizabeth-gilbert-a-expletive-or-is-it-just-me/562510/108 "2011-01-07T00:50:08Z")
the movie could be summarized as the egotist journey of a selfish cunt. i mean come on, this spoil middle class writer, has a loving husband, a great house, lives in a great city, and all she can think of is how unhappy she is (typical north american by the way). she suddenly decides god has spoken to her (deluted bitch), and starts a journey of self discovery, ditching everyone from her husband to her lover, friends and family. the movie continues with her not having any sex, and overcompensating with food (which by the way doesn’t seem to make julia roberts gain any fat). she then goes to India, and again not even moved by the dreadful social conditions and well… the goddamn misery they have to suffer every day, nooo… she is just to worried she can’t “free her mind” (??). in the end she ends up lying to this girl about how she knows how happy the indian girl is gonna be in her unwanted arranged marriage because her gift is prayer (what the f#)=?). the amazing thing is that when you reach to almost the end of the movie you think at least she might have learn something. after all a year off not everyone can afford in this life, but nooo… she needs some so called spiritual guru (who is in dire need of a dental plan) to tell her to go look for her boyfriend who she ditched days before (because she wasn’t sure that that was what she wanted, or maybe she was unhappy again… who the heck knows anymore), and of course in the end when they get into the boat all you can think is poor guy, he does not know what’s coming… bottom line, this is the story a spoiled good looking woman, who doesn’t have the slightest clue what to do, and needs constant advice from strangers to be happy. ---
**Author:** ![Fartknocker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e79b87/32.png) [@Fartknocker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fartknocker)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2013, 10:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eat-pray-love-the-movie-is-elizabeth-gilbert-a-expletive-or-is-it-just-me/562510/109 "2013-11-23T10:15:38Z")
I got eighty pages into this book before I relegated it to toilet paper. But Gilbert’s prose was so abrasive that after 20 wipes my ass developed an angry rash and I had to throw her book it in the recycling bin. The eat pray love is indeed cuntery, and Gilbert is a Pungent Fanny-Rat. Hopefully her new husband bails out on her in favour of Pasta and fornication with other women. Then she can put all that knowledge of karma which she learnt in her ashram to good use. Cunt ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2013, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eat-pray-love-the-movie-is-elizabeth-gilbert-a-expletive-or-is-it-just-me/562510/110 "2013-11-23T10:22:22Z")
The worst thing about _Eat Pray Love_ is that once upon a time Elizabeth Gilbert was a terrific journalist. ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2013, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eat-pray-love-the-movie-is-elizabeth-gilbert-a-expletive-or-is-it-just-me/562510/111 "2013-11-23T15:29:17Z")
Zombies aside, IIRC. Gilbert’ a ex-husband is a lawyer and a former director for HRW. who spent considerable time in conflict ridden places. I think his book (should such a beast exist) would be far more interesting than anything Gilbert had written. ---
**Author:** ![Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulf_the_Unwashed)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2013, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eat-pray-love-the-movie-is-elizabeth-gilbert-a-expletive-or-is-it-just-me/562510/112 "2013-11-23T22:14:03Z")
I came in to post my agreement with the OP, only to discover that someone had made precisely the points I wished to make. As it turned out, it was me: > [@Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](#): > > Well… She writes, “I moved right in with David after I left my husband.” And, “I clung to David for escape from marriage as if he were the last helicopter pulling out of Saigon.” You make it sound like taking a lover was completely unrelated to her divorce, but she certainly didn’t take any time to lick her wounds, now did she? … > > I don’t know what Gilbert is like in real life, and I haven’t seen the movie, but I do have a problem with the way she casts herself in the book. “I won’t open any of that,” she says high-mindedly with regard to why she left her husband, and then just a few pages later opens it up after all, and in a way designed to make him seem mean and petty and toddler-like. Great minds run in the same gutter. ---
**Author:** ![Fat\_Chance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8baadc/32.png) [@Fat\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fat_Chance)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2013, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eat-pray-love-the-movie-is-elizabeth-gilbert-a-expletive-or-is-it-just-me/562510/113 "2013-11-24T04:23:00Z")
I haven’t read or watched it. Just wanted to say, that a couple of years ago I went through a really tough summer with my now ex, as she was ‘falling out of love’ after 10 years together. She traveled home to be with her mother and ‘to think’. They went to this movie and 6 days later she ended it with me and moved out. just wanted to share… ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_A.Robrin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sam_a.robrin/32/14497_2.png) [@Sam\_A.Robrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_A.Robrin)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2013, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eat-pray-love-the-movie-is-elizabeth-gilbert-a-expletive-or-is-it-just-me/562510/114 "2013-11-24T05:48:42Z")
As the waiter said to Lenny Bruce: “You bettuh awf!” ---
**Author:** ![Nom\_de\_Plume](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/85f322/32.png) [@Nom\_de\_Plume](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nom_de_Plume)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2013, 9:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eat-pray-love-the-movie-is-elizabeth-gilbert-a-expletive-or-is-it-just-me/562510/115 "2013-11-24T09:23:26Z")
I see a lot of posts defending the actual author’s right to leave her husband of six years, but the original question was about the character in the movie that may not be an accurate depiction of the author or the author’s character as portrayed in the book. Leaving her husband is not cuntentious. Dumping her loving husband without a second thought about his feelings is cuntbaggery. Telling herself that leaving this (apparently faithful and devoted) husband to fly around the world fucking other men is some sort of spiritual journey or feminist ideal is even worse. I love Italy and thought I could put up with the central character long enough to enjoy the locales, but I was unable to finish this movie. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2013, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eat-pray-love-the-movie-is-elizabeth-gilbert-a-expletive-or-is-it-just-me/562510/116 "2013-11-24T14:21:18Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > I don’t see how you can anticipate changing your mind or just take it for granted that you will. That makes no sense to me. You can certainly always acknowledge that it’s a possibility, but a certainty? What? She was certain that she would change her mind? That comes off as dissembling and self-serving to me. If she was really willing to stake a lifetime commitment on a certainty that she would change her mind about something years down the road, then she was an idiot to begin with. I realize this poster is gone, but the point remains rebuttable: I dunno. People take out Adjustable Rate Mortgages all the time, and those rely on rosy predictions for the future no less than “getting used to the idea” of changing one’s mind about kids. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2013, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eat-pray-love-the-movie-is-elizabeth-gilbert-a-expletive-or-is-it-just-me/562510/117 "2013-11-24T21:00:42Z")
I was kinda wondering why this thread got bumped - the cunt getting punted, as it were. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2013, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eat-pray-love-the-movie-is-elizabeth-gilbert-a-expletive-or-is-it-just-me/562510/118 "2013-11-24T21:52:40Z")
Just reverse the roles. If it was a man who did all that- he’d be denounced as the biggest sort of cad. ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2013, 10:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eat-pray-love-the-movie-is-elizabeth-gilbert-a-expletive-or-is-it-just-me/562510/119 "2013-11-25T10:47:20Z")
[QUOTE=pkbites] Elizabeth Gilberts’ husband is a doofus who needs to grow up, man up, pick a life and a career and get a real job and so on. But as far as I can tell, he doesn’t cheat on his wife, hit her, do drugs/alcohol, gamble the rent away, and appears to truly love and be in love with her. [/QUOTE] Granted its been 3 years since the OP posted that, but[here](http://www.linkedin.com/in/michaelcooperesq) is the real guts LinkedIn profile. At the time of the divorce he was working for Human Rights Watch as a deputy director, ---
**Author:** ![actualliberalnotoneofthose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e79b87/32.png) [@actualliberalnotoneofthose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/actualliberalnotoneofthose)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2013, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eat-pray-love-the-movie-is-elizabeth-gilbert-a-expletive-or-is-it-just-me/562510/120 "2013-11-25T14:01:30Z")
> [@AK84](#): > > Granted its been 3 years since the OP posted that, but[here](http://www.linkedin.com/in/michaelcooperesq) is the real guts LinkedIn profile. At the time of the divorce he was working for Human Rights Watch as a deputy director, Interesting. Why are there posts saying he needed to grow up and get a job? Sounds like he was more mature than the wife to me. Then the wife went and hooked up with some ugly dude who (possibly/likely) used her for a Green Card and her money, even though she doesn’t believe in marriage. At least that’s what I read in some articles that go into the aftermath. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eat-pray-love-the-movie-is-elizabeth-gilbert-a-expletive-or-is-it-just-me/562510.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eat-pray-love-the-movie-is-elizabeth-gilbert-a-expletive-or-is-it-just-me/562510.md?page=7)