# Eating human flesh **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 23, 2009, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eating-human-flesh/511237 "2009-09-23T14:29:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ginman999](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e495f1/32.png) [@ginman999](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ginman999)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eating-human-flesh/511237/1 "2009-09-23T14:29:26Z")
I not asking if you would or could eat a human being. I’m asking if had to eat a human to save your life, what part would you eat and how would you prepare it? ---
**Author:** ![Torpor\_Beast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/71e660/32.png) [@Torpor\_Beast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Torpor_Beast)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eating-human-flesh/511237/2 "2009-09-23T14:38:58Z")
Did the prison just give you Internet privileges, [Armin](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armin_Meiwes)? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![GoodOmens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@GoodOmens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GoodOmens)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eating-human-flesh/511237/3 "2009-09-23T15:37:39Z")
Hypothetically speaking, I think I’d go for either a bicep or calf muscle. I suspect that it would be easiest to disassociate them from being human. Prepared the same way as other meat, probably roasting. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eating-human-flesh/511237/4 "2009-09-23T15:45:28Z")
Brrraaaaiiiiiinnnnnssss!!! Okay, not really. Organ meat squicks me out. I’d probably use some limb muscle because that’s somehow less gross than eating their abdomen or something. I’d cook it in a way that would make it as easy as possible to get down, like in some sort of stew. It would really suck to have to gnaw on people jerky or something. ---
**Author:** ![Zoinks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/db5fbb/32.png) [@Zoinks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoinks)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eating-human-flesh/511237/5 "2009-09-23T17:40:56Z")
The animal parts that people usually eat are the muscles, so the biceps, thighs, and chest should figure prominently in the dishes for your dinner party. Should a guest inquire as to the provenance of the meat, do not simply reply, “It came from the shopkeeper on the corner.” Rather, say that it was locally procured and fed with the finest of Italian cuisine. Conversation should not dwell on the controversial and a smoking jacket is always appropriate. Follow this advice and you will have a splendid “get-together”. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eating-human-flesh/511237/6 "2009-09-23T17:51:27Z")
I’d probably try some tasty Bruce Wayne, because Batman is always prepared. ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eating-human-flesh/511237/7 "2009-09-23T18:02:48Z")
I’d make belly bacon, hopefully from someone who ate a vegetarian diet. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eating-human-flesh/511237/8 "2009-09-23T18:07:41Z")
The liver, with fava beans. ---
**Author:** ![Ichini\_Sanshigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/d9b06d/32.png) [@Ichini\_Sanshigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ichini_Sanshigo)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eating-human-flesh/511237/9 "2009-09-23T18:31:44Z")
I’d go for a nice, delicious rump roast. ---
**Author:** ![Chopper9760](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/cdc98d/32.png) [@Chopper9760](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chopper9760)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eating-human-flesh/511237/10 "2009-09-23T18:53:22Z")
Backstraps all the way, if I have to eat a human, by god I’m going to make the best of it. Considering our diet and the way we build up fat I would guess that human would taste a lot like bear in which case you would probably want to trim as much of the fat as possible. Though, in a survival situation, you might need to eat the fat for calories and warmth. Interesting question. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eating-human-flesh/511237/11 "2009-09-23T19:06:33Z")
> [@Ichini\_Sanshigo](#): > > I’d go for a nice, delicious rump roast. You gonna toss a salad, too? ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eating-human-flesh/511237/12 "2009-09-23T19:15:46Z")
Tenderloin. ---
**Author:** ![notfrommensa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f14d63/32.png) [@notfrommensa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notfrommensa)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eating-human-flesh/511237/13 "2009-09-23T19:18:36Z")
> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#): > > The liver, with fava beans. and some nice chi-ANT-ti…slurp ---
**Author:** ![Mahna\_Mahna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e47c2d/32.png) [@Mahna\_Mahna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahna_Mahna)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eating-human-flesh/511237/14 "2009-09-23T19:27:17Z")
Meat pies using [Mrs Lovett’s](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mrs._Lovett)tried-and-true recipe, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Fiddle\_Peghead](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fiddle_peghead/32/3506_2.png) [@Fiddle\_Peghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiddle_Peghead)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eating-human-flesh/511237/15 "2009-09-23T19:37:44Z")
I love sausage, but I know there’s one thing I’m _not_ eating… ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eating-human-flesh/511237/16 "2009-09-23T19:56:23Z")
Damn, I am getting hungry now. Let me get my gun and I will be back in a minute. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eating-human-flesh/511237/17 "2009-09-23T20:00:00Z")
Ok, I’m back. I have always found that people can be cooked basically the same way that pork is whether it is on a slow roasting spit or select cuts. That is why we call them “long pigs”. I prefer mine preferred with a simple BBQ recipe which is what I am having tonight. Sweet Baby Ray’s sauce and plain white Wonderbread go well with it. I will probably have leftovers if anyone wants some. ---
**Author:** ![Llama\_Llogophile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@Llama\_Llogophile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Llama_Llogophile)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eating-human-flesh/511237/18 "2009-09-23T20:40:20Z")
I seem to recall reading somewhere that the sartorius muscle in the thigh is the best for eating. Don’t really want to know how that determination was made. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eating-human-flesh/511237/19 "2009-09-23T20:42:10Z")
Same way as [Spam.](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/1161/whats-really-in-spam) ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eating-human-flesh/511237/20 "2009-09-23T20:48:15Z")
Don’t forget some nice ladyfingers. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eating-human-flesh/511237.md?page=2)