# eBay legalese **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 18, 2005, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ebay-legalese/290723 "2005-02-18T15:33:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2005, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ebay-legalese/290723/1 "2005-02-18T15:33:46Z")
[http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=7135441836](http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=7135441836) Charming example of the type of language that is necessary when dealing with eBay. This amused me greatly. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2005, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ebay-legalese/290723/2 "2005-02-18T15:45:03Z")
ha-ha! from the link: > [@from Ebay](#): > > PRIMERS ARE VERY, VERY EVIL BUT… > FEAR NOT > THERE ARE NO PRIMERS IN THIS AUCTION. later… > [@from Ebay](#): > > INERT > IMPOTENT > DOES NOT GO BANG > IT IS EX-AMMUNITION > DEADER THAN ELVIS PRESLEY > DEADER THAN MY GRANDMOTHER > AND > IT IS DEADER THAN MONTY PYTHON’S PARROT > [@from Ebay](#): > > Do not eat this item > Do not do things with it that you shouldnt > you have been told. Excellent! ---
**Author:** ![Chimpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@Chimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimpy)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2005, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ebay-legalese/290723/3 "2005-02-18T16:14:50Z")
Do not taunt happy fun dead inert primerless brass. ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2005, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ebay-legalese/290723/4 "2005-02-18T16:22:00Z")
What I find disturbing is that somebody is apparently willing to shell out twenty bucks for fifty cents worth of brass and a stripper clip. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2005, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ebay-legalese/290723/5 "2005-02-18T16:26:53Z")
This is a better read than the guy who sold the wedding dress awhile back. The other guy had better pictures, though. Is it really that overpriced? ---
**Author:** ![Mycroft\_H](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/898d66/32.png) [@Mycroft\_H](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mycroft_H)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2005, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ebay-legalese/290723/6 "2005-02-18T16:27:40Z")
OMG, that is fantastic! Is this guy a Doper? His turn of phase, sarcasm, humor and references to Monty Python all suggest that he is or at least should be. I am so tempted to write and ask him if the “bullets\* can be fired,” but I’m afraid his appropriately vitriolic response would cause my head to explode. Plus it would be cruel. - Yes, I really know the difference between and bullet, a casing and an ammunition round, but think calling them “bullets” would add to the effect. ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2005, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ebay-legalese/290723/7 "2005-02-18T20:26:24Z")
His huge disclaimer’s a hoot as well: this disclaimer was packed full, contents may have settled during mailing; may explode if incinerated (joke – really); smoking this disclaimer may be hazardous to your health; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult an auctioneer; possible penalties for early withdrawal; one size fits all; this disclaimer is valid only at participating auction sites