# “EEEEEWWWWW! We don’t want to have sex again. Once was quite enough!” **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 30, 2005, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eeeeewwwww-we-don-t-want-to-have-sex-again-once-was-quite-enough/301874 "2005-04-30T18:24:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Boggette](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/858c86/32.png) [@Boggette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boggette)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2005, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eeeeewwwww-we-don-t-want-to-have-sex-again-once-was-quite-enough/301874/61 "2005-05-02T17:11:56Z")
Nosy: “Oh! You have two girls! Don’t you want a boy?” Me: “Nope. As soon as Boglette1 is old enough, we’re getting her penis sewn on.” (Note - I’ve actually used this one. Lovely reaction!) ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2005, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eeeeewwwww-we-don-t-want-to-have-sex-again-once-was-quite-enough/301874/62 "2005-05-02T21:57:57Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > See, the thing with the smart ass comments is just that…they sound smart ass, not likely to stop the questions. You need to convey to the questioner that the question is HIGHLY inappropriate and you will not be discussing the subject with them. Ever. Period. End of discussion. More proof that ivylass lives in a fantasy world. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2005, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eeeeewwwww-we-don-t-want-to-have-sex-again-once-was-quite-enough/301874/63 "2005-05-03T12:03:12Z")
> [@Mockingbird](#): > > More proof that ivylass lives in a fantasy world. Excuse me? **Martha** wanted people to stop asking her personal questions about her reproductive plans. You have to be blunt with such people otherwise they won’t get the hint. How is that living in a fantasy world? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2005, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eeeeewwwww-we-don-t-want-to-have-sex-again-once-was-quite-enough/301874/64 "2005-05-03T13:42:52Z")
> [@Mockingbird](#): > > More proof that ivylass lives in a fantasy world. I don’t get it. Is this supposed to be a funny one-liner or something? ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2005, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eeeeewwwww-we-don-t-want-to-have-sex-again-once-was-quite-enough/301874/65 "2005-05-03T15:19:21Z")
> [@hildea](#): > > “A _new_ child? But we haven’t used up the old one yet!” > > Or say “I’m never going through _that_ again”, and then spend the rest of the evening going into explicit, graphic detail of every unpleasantness related to pregnancy, birth and aftermath that a creative imagination can dredge up. ROTFLMAO…and if your imagination isnt fertile enough, I am more than sure a little serching on this list can come up with millions of nasty little details=) ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2005, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eeeeewwwww-we-don-t-want-to-have-sex-again-once-was-quite-enough/301874/66 "2005-05-03T15:42:23Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > See, the thing with the smart ass comments is just that…they sound smart ass, not likely to stop the questions. You need to convey to the questioner that the question is HIGHLY inappropriate and you will not be discussing the subject with them. Ever. Period. End of discussion. FWIW, I agree with this. Snappy comebacks continue a discussion the OP doesn’t want to have. Just do the broken record routine, and say “No” repeatedly until they get bored and drop the subject. It helps a little if it is not quite apropos to the question. “When are you going to have another child?” “No.” “What do you mean? Don’t you want a girl?” “No.” “I don’t understand your reasoning. You aren’t getting any younger, you know.” “No.” “Why don’t you want a girl?” “No.” “I need a better answer than that. Why don’t you want to give me another grandchild?” “No.” “I asked you _why_.” “No.” Eventually, hopefully, you will get the point across, and you can talk about the new sofa cushions or something. Not to go all Ann Landers on you, but it takes two people to have a discussion, even on a topic that one of them doesn’t want to discuss. The only way to shut off discussion is to shut off discussion - not to offer reasons, not to justify your decision, not to score one-up points on rude people. Sometimes this offends people, but probably not as much as some of the smart-ass answers you could give. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Bookkeeper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bookkeeper/32/281_2.png) [@Bookkeeper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bookkeeper)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2005, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eeeeewwwww-we-don-t-want-to-have-sex-again-once-was-quite-enough/301874/67 "2005-05-03T19:42:17Z")
> [@Mockingbird](#): > > More proof that ivylass lives in a fantasy world. I think that this is intended to convey **Mockingbird’s** disbelief that **anything** can stop these people with their questions. ---
**Author:** ![Farmwoman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8dc957/32.png) [@Farmwoman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmwoman)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2005, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eeeeewwwww-we-don-t-want-to-have-sex-again-once-was-quite-enough/301874/68 "2005-05-04T01:17:46Z")
When we joke with these interlopers we are engaging in an univited conversation about personal reproductive choicess/maladies/whatever, and most of us seem to agree that uninvited conversation about personal reproductive choices/maladies/whatever should be discouraged. Who’s living in a fantasy world? Ivylass’ fantasy world is oddly coherent and sane. ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2005, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eeeeewwwww-we-don-t-want-to-have-sex-again-once-was-quite-enough/301874/69 "2005-05-05T13:29:45Z")
> [@Mockingbird](#): > > More proof that ivylass lives in a fantasy world. Is there some reason you seem to pop up so often with completely unwarranted rudeness? Were you raised by wolves? Do you have some sort of brain damage that makes it impossible to regulate your behavior? ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2005, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eeeeewwwww-we-don-t-want-to-have-sex-again-once-was-quite-enough/301874/70 "2005-05-06T18:11:04Z")
Before kids, when this question would come up, I usually responded: **When you set up a college fund, then we’ll start having kids.** or **Hubby has a low sperm count** Now, since kids, all I say to the _Gonna have any more kids_ question, I joyfully announce, " Nope, I got my husband spade." 😃 ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2005, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eeeeewwwww-we-don-t-want-to-have-sex-again-once-was-quite-enough/301874/71 "2005-05-06T18:15:44Z")
We’ll just just finish fattening up the one we have and think about a second after we eat it. ---
**Author:** ![Seven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Seven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seven)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2005, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eeeeewwwww-we-don-t-want-to-have-sex-again-once-was-quite-enough/301874/72 "2005-05-07T08:33:59Z")
**Are you going to have another baby?** “No. There is only room in the prayer closet for one” “When we get a bigger yard to mow we’ll have another kid” “Yes. Right after the sale on this one goes through.” “I will not forsake Zardoz again! The penis is evil. The penis shoots seeds, and makes new life, and poisons the earth with a plague of men, as once it was. But the gun shoots death, and purifies the earth of the filth of brutals.” “Only if I can trade this one in” “You do realize you have to feed them right?” “ANOTHER?!?! We JUST managed to get the smell out.” Works best in a Jackie Mason voice: “I’m thinking a monkey. A baby we got” Turn the tables on them: “Another? Of course. This is just the first of 17” “We’ll have the next one when this one isn’t cute anymore” Or a variation on that: “REALLY soon. We’re bored with this one already” “Another baby? Fantastic idea. We totally forgot about a control group.” ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2005, 9:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eeeeewwwww-we-don-t-want-to-have-sex-again-once-was-quite-enough/301874/73 "2005-05-07T09:22:18Z")
> [@Excalibre](#): > > Is there some reason you seem to pop up so often with completely unwarranted rudeness? Were you raised by wolves? Do you have some sort of brain damage that makes it impossible to regulate your behavior? :wally ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2005, 9:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eeeeewwwww-we-don-t-want-to-have-sex-again-once-was-quite-enough/301874/74 "2005-05-07T09:24:05Z")
> [@Bookkeeper](#): > > I think that this is intended to convey **Mockingbird’s** disbelief that **anything** can stop these people with their questions. Quite right. ---
**Author:** ![Critical1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@Critical1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Critical1)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2005, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eeeeewwwww-we-don-t-want-to-have-sex-again-once-was-quite-enough/301874/75 "2005-05-08T05:12:36Z")
only for use if you are comfortable being unbelievably blunt but I would think a simple “what the fuck makes you think its any of your business?” might do the trick. goes well with “Who the fuck are you and why are you speaking to me?” that I use on random assholes in clubs/bars/ball games/whatever ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2005, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eeeeewwwww-we-don-t-want-to-have-sex-again-once-was-quite-enough/301874/76 "2005-05-09T00:13:29Z")
> [@Stranger On A Train](#): > > "So when are you going to get married and have some kids? I’ve got a standup comedian on tape here somewhere… he had a great response to that question: “Yeah, right! Then I’d have a _whole family_ whose lives suck! And of course, if you _do_ get married and have kids, ya pretty much gotta talk to these people, like, **every day**! That wouldn’t work for me. I can just see it: ‘Honey, we need to talk.’ 'What, now? Can’t this wait ‘til the cable goes out or something?’” ---
**Author:** ![cosmosdan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@cosmosdan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cosmosdan)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2005, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eeeeewwwww-we-don-t-want-to-have-sex-again-once-was-quite-enough/301874/77 "2005-05-09T03:11:12Z")
> [@Farmwoman](#): > > When we joke with these interlopers we are engaging in an univited conversation about personal reproductive choicess/maladies/whatever, and most of us seem to agree that uninvited conversation about personal reproductive choices/maladies/whatever should be discouraged. Who’s living in a fantasy world? Ivylass’ fantasy world is oddly coherent and sane. It is honest and blunt but not as much fun. The smart ass answers also say, “It’s none of your business” for those who have a clue. Some people who ask personal questions just don’t get it. I’ve responded with a “It’s none of your business” a couple of times only to wind up accused of being a stuck up asshole. I suppose a polite “I prefer not to answer personal questions like that” might be better. I still prefer some of the smart ass ones. If someone invades my space then I should be able to have some fun with it. ---
**Author:** ![Farmwoman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8dc957/32.png) [@Farmwoman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmwoman)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2005, 9:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eeeeewwwww-we-don-t-want-to-have-sex-again-once-was-quite-enough/301874/78 "2005-05-09T09:25:46Z")
I agree with you. After all, I’m getting a kick out of reading this thread and all the wise assery. What’s more, I think it’s far better to get a laugh from this sort of thing than it is to get all twisted about it. We can’t control the stupid things that come out of the mouths of others, but we can certainly control the way we respond. My post was directed at **mockingbird** and not meant as a condemnation of the fine art of snappy response. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2005, 10:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eeeeewwwww-we-don-t-want-to-have-sex-again-once-was-quite-enough/301874/79 "2005-05-09T10:09:22Z")
1.- I promised the liver of my secondborn to the Devil in exchange for passing Calculus 2 in college. Engineering’s tuff, you know. 2.- Any daughter of mine is bound to love pink, ruffles and bows. No fuckin’ way. (\*) 3.- Oh, but nephews are SO much nicer! You know, I get to pamper 'em, and then send 'em back home with my sister in law… she does the same with my kids, of course. (\*) My very feminine sis in law has been warned repeatedly that any daughter of my brother is highly likely to take after her Auntie Nava, who is about as feminine as an 18-wheeler. And no, I don’t have kids, I like kids roasted. Or maybe fried. But in any case, never in groups of more than one. ---
**Author:** ![Martha\_Medea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/43a26b/32.png) [@Martha\_Medea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martha_Medea)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2005, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eeeeewwwww-we-don-t-want-to-have-sex-again-once-was-quite-enough/301874/80 "2005-05-09T18:36:47Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > 2.- Any daughter of mine is bound to love pink, ruffles and bows. No fuckin’ way. (\*) This one, I’m **definitely** going to use, because it’s apt, and will ‘ruffle’ a few (pink) feathers. I’ll be sure to include Barbie and Hello Kitty amongst the ruffles and bows. Thanks\*\* Nava\*\*! I will also try out a haughty but polite ‘I do not discuss such personal matters with strangers’ or ‘don’t you think that’s too personal a question to ask of someone you don’t know?’ when appropriate. I’ve used it with god-botherers and it’s had the desired effect. While enjoying all the smart-arse replies I believe I am getting some good IMHO advice here. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eeeeewwwww-we-don-t-want-to-have-sex-again-once-was-quite-enough/301874.md?page=3)