Oh, yeah, great fiction. Wonderful spelling, syntax, grammar, punctuation… I could go on and on but about the only place you can file this is in the round file.
Sounds like my old pal Willy after few shots of Jack.
actually, insipid. You are, that is.
The poor grammar and syntax were intentional (though the spelling wasn’t). I was trying to give it a feel of being very erratic, as if I was remembering it in pecies. I’ve tried it in a few other stories (much better ones) and it usualy works rather well.
Waterj2: I would apreciate your criticism, but comments like that don’t help anyone. if you want to offer me some advice on what you disliked, please do. If not, shut up.