# Egregious cooking violations. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 25, 2009, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/egregious-cooking-violations/515044 "2009-10-25T13:54:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![butler1850](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/779978/32.png) [@butler1850](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/butler1850)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2009, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/egregious-cooking-violations/515044/81 "2009-10-27T15:15:27Z")
I forgot to mention my mother’s turkey. You can read all about it [here.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=288651) It’s an old thread, but my feelings are the same. Thankfully, we now do Thanksgiving at my in-laws, as they head to Florida for the winter shortly after Thanksgiving. If that’s not an abomination, I don’t know what is. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2009, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/egregious-cooking-violations/515044/82 "2009-10-27T15:27:34Z")
Egads, 12 hour turkey? That is just so wrong. I used to know someone (actually, identical twins with identical cooking deficiencies) who managed to take the flavor out of everything. The idea of seasoning foods was an alien concept to her. Not even salt and pepper. Just boil the flavor out of the food and serve it up. Actually, that’s kind of the way she lived her entire life. ---
**Author:** ![Hockey\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a183cd/32.png) [@Hockey\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hockey_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2009, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/egregious-cooking-violations/515044/83 "2009-10-27T18:56:40Z")
When I was in high school Chinese food was still a foreign thing to my family and friends. I had tried it and loved stir fry. I even found a pre-packaged stir fry set-up at a local grocery store…brocolli, peppers, bok choy, etc. I picked it up and took it to my boyfriend’s parent’s house and stuck it in the fridge for us to cook later. The next day was Sunday. His mom always made a Sunday dinner with homemade biscuits, creamed potatoes, a roast or something. That Sunday there was a new dish on the table that looked absolutely horrible. I asked her what it was and she said it was the stir fry that I had bought. She had absolutely no concept of eating a vegetable that was tender-crunchy. My glorious package of stir fry had been cooked to mush. She must have stirred it around in the frying pan for 30 minutes or more till they were “done”. ☹ I never corrected her as it was unlikely she would ever eat at a Chinese restaurant and figure out the difference. Her food was otherwise fabulous, and I wish I could recreate her biscuits. Her biscuits were unlike any other I’ve ever encountered. I would skip dessert and eat more biscuits. ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2009, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/egregious-cooking-violations/515044/84 "2009-10-27T19:54:39Z")
My mom once made this absolutely delicious oven fried chicken. It was crispy and crunchy and perfectly breaded on the outside, juicy and tender on the inside. I kept sneaking little bits of chicken because it was so good I couldn’t wait for dinner. Dinnertime rolled around and, just before bringing the chicken to the table, she _deliberately_ dumped a half cup of butter over the pile of chicken. What had been an absolutely lucious, lighter counterpart to regular fried chicken was now a sodden, buttery mess. Apparently it was part of the recipe she was using. It was a travesty. Luckily, that recipe has been completely retired. ---
**Author:** ![Maiira](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Maiira](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maiira)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2009, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/egregious-cooking-violations/515044/85 "2009-10-27T20:09:50Z")
My dad once made a tuna noodle casserole and doused it in Tabasco sauce. My mother and I immediately informed him that he had Done Wrong and that he had ruined the casserole. Tuna noodle casserole, at our house, is comfort food. Comfort food is salty and creamy and very little else. Put hot sauce on it if you want, but for heaven’s sake put it on your OWN plate! Also, my mother puts soy sauce on just about everything. Even, say, Mexican food. This amuses (and possibly offends) my brother-in-law, who is a very good cook and makes sure that everything has enough flavor without having to add anything extra. ---
**Author:** ![WarmNPrickly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@WarmNPrickly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WarmNPrickly)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2009, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/egregious-cooking-violations/515044/86 "2009-10-27T20:14:24Z")
> [@Barking\_Dog](#): > > I came in to add a similar vile drink. Beer and _clam_ato juice. brrrrr I knew it was gonna be bad going when trying this horrid, horrid drink but I must have been feeling masochistic that night because I had to know just how revolting it actually tastes. > The really amazing thing is that this was not some special concoction. My friend picked up a tall boy of this from the gas station. It’s poplular enough that Budweiser actually makes good money selling this stuff. > > ETA: **butler1850** You’re a wiser man than I for not going near the stuff. This isn’t a cooking violation. You don’t like it, and you decided to complain about it here. As you have pointed out, there are enough people that like this concoction for Budweiser to make money off of it. I love this stuff, and I drink it regularly. I hated it at first. I thought it was entirely wrong. But I tried it again, fully expecting the taste and it was great. Once the surprise was gone, I loved it. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2009, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/egregious-cooking-violations/515044/87 "2009-10-27T20:17:47Z")
I once had a friend whose stir fry never quite came out right. It was always soggy and mushy. I finally decided to watch her cook some to see what she was doing wrong. As it turns out, she was afraid of heating up just oil in the pan, so she added a few cups of water. She’d put the food in and then turn the heat on. Ah, stir boiled food. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2009, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/egregious-cooking-violations/515044/88 "2009-10-27T20:25:18Z")
> [@Hockey\_Monkey](#): > > When I was in high school Chinese food was still a foreign thing to my family and friends. I see what you did there. > [@](#): > > Her food was otherwise fabulous, and I wish I could recreate her biscuits. Her biscuits were unlike any other I’ve ever encountered. I would skip dessert and eat more biscuits. If you hadn’t said this was your boyfriend’s mother, I’d suspect we both knew this person. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2009, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/egregious-cooking-violations/515044/89 "2009-10-27T20:26:51Z")
My mom ordered eggplant parmesan at a local diner. It seemed okay until she got to a part that was extremely hard and impossible to cut. When she pointed it out, the server asked her if she’d like a steak knife for it. Yep, they changed owners and are declining even more rapidly than our economy is. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2009, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/egregious-cooking-violations/515044/90 "2009-10-27T20:31:03Z")
Mom just related another tale to me: My brother asked her if he could make buttermilk by simply adding butter to milk. She patiently explained that there is a process to it, but that one wasn’t it. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2009, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/egregious-cooking-violations/515044/91 "2009-10-27T20:43:23Z")
> [@vivalostwages](#): > > Mom just related another tale to me: > > My brother asked her if he could make buttermilk by simply adding butter to milk. She patiently explained that there is a process to it, but that one wasn’t it. Ironically, buttermilk was originally what was left after you took the butter _out_. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2009, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/egregious-cooking-violations/515044/92 "2009-10-27T20:54:26Z")
> [@butler1850](#): > > I forgot to mention my mother’s turkey. You can read all about it [here.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=288651) It’s an old thread, but my feelings are the same. > > Thankfully, we now do Thanksgiving at my in-laws, as they head to Florida for the winter shortly after Thanksgiving. > > If that’s not an abomination, I don’t know what is. Oh, yeah, I remember that one. And there was another horror story that was similar. I remember someone who had a grandmother or something with a similar 12 hour “cooking” method. But she was horrified and turned off the oven after an hour. And restarted it in the morning. There was much betting in the thread on how soon the puking would begin. ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2009, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/egregious-cooking-violations/515044/93 "2009-10-27T21:31:33Z")
> [@Fenris](#): > > Once upon a time, long ago in the '80s, there was a Chinese Food dish that was like unto food of the Gawds. > It was, bar none, my favorite chinese food dish. > > About 2 years later, a dish with the same name appeared but the dish was no longer good (in the same way that Jonestown wasn’t good for the image of kid’s drinks) > :: shakes fist at the Gawds of Chinese Food for showing me nirvana then taking it away :: Any chance you remember the name of the dish? Or are you purposely withholding the name from us out of spite in case we still might have it where we live? ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2009, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/egregious-cooking-violations/515044/94 "2009-10-27T21:47:30Z")
[10 pounds of dog-chewed ham, kept in the fridge from Christmas until March 7.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=499118&highlight=easter) A classic. ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2009, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/egregious-cooking-violations/515044/95 "2009-10-27T21:49:54Z")
> [@KneadToKnow](#): > > I’d use a grated or crumbled cheese. Ah, okay. I misunderstood your phrasing (“seem to think that it is a reasonable way to get cheese into an omelet to make a very thin frittata, then fold it in half”) to mean you thought that the folding in half with the stuff in the middle was a strange way to make an omelet. But apparently your objection is to the Kraft Singles, not the actual omelet style. Of course, while most of the places I’ve cooked have allowed the customer to specify what kind of cheese they want in their omelet, the default is usually “American Cheese” (aka “pasteurized cheese food product”) if they don’t ask for something else. ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2009, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/egregious-cooking-violations/515044/96 "2009-10-27T22:02:36Z")
> [@Maiira](#): > > Also, my mother puts soy sauce on just about everything. Even, say, Mexican food. This amuses (and possibly offends) my brother-in-law, who is a very good cook and makes sure that everything has enough flavor without having to add anything extra. Ah, the Shameless Autocondimentor\* - someone who will put certainly salt and probably pepper on any meal you put in front of them _whatever it is and regardless of how much it’s got on it already and regardless of how it tastes_. Behavioural psychiatrists working for fast-food outlets around the universe have saved billions of whatever the local currency is by noting the autocondimenting phenomenon and advising their employers to leave seasoning out in the first place. This is really true. (Terry Pratchett, “Reaper Man”) ---
**Author:** ![WarmNPrickly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@WarmNPrickly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WarmNPrickly)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2009, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/egregious-cooking-violations/515044/97 "2009-10-27T23:47:47Z")
My wife is an “autocondimentor” with ranch dressing. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2009, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/egregious-cooking-violations/515044/98 "2009-10-27T23:53:12Z")
> [@aruvqan](#): > > Not if you can apples in the proper filling flavors yourself, then all you have to do is open the jar, dump into pastry, bake and recycle the bell jar for next fall =) How do you keep the apples fresh (and juicy) while they’re on display under that thing?! ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2009, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/egregious-cooking-violations/515044/99 "2009-10-28T00:06:19Z")
> [@Anne\_Neville](#): > > [10 pounds of dog-chewed ham, kept in the fridge from Christmas until March 7.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=499118&highlight=easter) A classic. It was a fine ham until the dog chewed on it. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2009, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/egregious-cooking-violations/515044/100 "2009-10-28T00:32:46Z")
> [@5-4-Fighting](#): > > How do you keep the apples fresh (and juicy) while they’re on display under that thing?! Ball is a brand of canning jar. I just cant spell ball … when for some odd reason I type it as bell … =) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/egregious-cooking-violations/515044.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/egregious-cooking-violations/515044.md?page=6)