# Egregious cooking violations. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 25, 2009, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/egregious-cooking-violations/515044 "2009-10-25T13:54:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2009, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/egregious-cooking-violations/515044/101 "2009-10-28T00:42:44Z")
> [@Mister\_Rik](#): > > …Of course, while most of the places I’ve cooked have allowed the customer to specify what kind of cheese they want in their omelet, the default is usually “American Cheese” (aka “pasteurized cheese food product”) if they don’t ask for something else. I’m wary of asking for American cheese at restaurants for that reason. Real American cheese is a delightful white cheese (almost like a mild chedder) available from the deli counter. It’s not the same as that individually wrapped orange cheese food crap made from vegetable oil. ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2009, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/egregious-cooking-violations/515044/102 "2009-10-28T00:53:11Z")
My mother-in-law boiled everything. I tried to educate her about a nice broiled steak, even took her to a quality butcher store (this was several decades ago when there were such things) instead of the supermarket and had them cut some wonderful fresh Porterhouse steaks. I told her how she should just put the steak under a broiler. The following week I asked her how the steak came out. “Oh, fine,” she said. “I just fried it in a pan, and then added some water and let it cook for a half hour. It was nice and soft.” ---
**Author:** ![Magicicada](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c67d28/32.png) [@Magicicada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magicicada)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2009, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/egregious-cooking-violations/515044/103 "2009-10-28T01:10:34Z")
My mother used to make home made lasagna. My mother is not Italian. It was many years before I learned “ricotta” is aparently not Italian for “cottage”. ---
**Author:** ![MissGypsy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8491ac/32.png) [@MissGypsy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissGypsy)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2009, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/egregious-cooking-violations/515044/104 "2009-10-28T03:26:34Z")
My ex-husband loved to cook. When we were dating, the first time he invited me over to his apartment for dinner, he made shrimp in lobster sauce. It was crunchy… the rice was crunchy, the black beans were crunchy, and the sauce was pretty crunchy. And the blackberry wine he served was a little gritty, but an interesting pairing with the food. (I give him points for effort, as it was quite a brave culinary attempt.) ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2009, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/egregious-cooking-violations/515044/105 "2009-10-28T04:23:07Z")
> [@alphaboi867](#): > > I’m wary of asking for American cheese at restaurants for that reason. Real American cheese is a delightful white cheese (almost like a mild chedder) available from the deli counter. It’s not the same as that individually wrapped orange cheese food crap made from vegetable oil. Heh. It’s worth noting that, in many restaurants, the staff refers to these presliced cheeses not by the names “American Cheese” and “Swiss Cheese”, but rather “Yellow Cheese” and “White Cheese” 😛 Astonishing to many people, I suppose, is the observed fact that most people (around here, anyway), when given a choice between American cheese and cheddar in their omelet, choose the American cheese. I prefer it myself. Cheddar is great … cold. The problem with _melted_ cheddar was spelled out nicely in a Velveeta jingle years ago: “Cheddar’s runny, cheddar’s oily Cheddar runs off of the plate onto your doily.” And, well, it’s true. Melt cheddar and it separates into it’s component parts. And there’s nothing quite like having that string of scalding, melted cheddar that you didn’t notice stretching from the plate to your fork suddenly snapping loose and slapping you in the chin and throat 😃 ---
**Author:** ![tr0psn4j](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@tr0psn4j](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tr0psn4j)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2009, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/egregious-cooking-violations/515044/106 "2009-10-28T04:29:41Z")
> [@](#): > > raping, pillaging and raping That is huh-larious. I have nothing more to add. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2009, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/egregious-cooking-violations/515044/107 "2009-10-28T10:22:48Z")
> [@tr0psn4j](#): > > That is huh-larious. I have nothing more to add. 😃 I like rape. ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2009, 10:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/egregious-cooking-violations/515044/108 "2009-10-28T10:27:52Z")
Homebrewers will know what a fool I was, but here’s my egregious cooking violation. I decided for one St. Patrick’s Day that I would make a light lager and dye it green. I would need real Pilsner grain for it instead of liquid malt syrup (I know I know you can buy Pilsner malt syrup, shhh I’m telling a story) Well I’d been wanting to go all grain instead of using syrup anyways, so this is a perfect opportunity.[wrong] It can’t be that hard to make the switch right[wrong again] and make it for a bunch of people to drink at a party [WTF are you thinking wrong] Lager’s usually are fermented around 55 degrees or lower, but I didn’t have time for such things so inside the house near the fireplace is good! Why did it always look so cloudy… Well I fermented it, bottled it, tasted one. Looked beautiful. A nice Emerald City green, fizzy, good aroma. It tasted exactly like a corn tortilla. Like, EXACTLY. Mouth feel and everything, even though I didn’t know how that was possible. I didn’t even use any corn! The taste faded somewhat by the time of the party but still all I could taste was corn tortilla. Still a big fool I served it anyways. People drank them in droves though, which means I either imagined it, or people have no taste, or it was free beer and who cares, man! Now I’m thinking it’d go great with nachoes. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2009, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/egregious-cooking-violations/515044/109 "2009-10-28T15:40:02Z")
> [@Harmonious\_Discord](#): > > It was a fine ham until the dog chewed on it. But it became egregious when the dog-chewed ham was put in the fridge. And it became comedy gold when you posted about it here. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2009, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/egregious-cooking-violations/515044/110 "2009-10-28T16:01:16Z")
> [@EvilTOJ](#): > > Homebrewers will know what a fool I was, I’m not quite getting it. Was it just that your fermentation was too warm? Wouldn’t that basically give you a steam ale? ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2009, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/egregious-cooking-violations/515044/111 "2009-10-28T16:33:30Z")
My cousin invited a bunch of us over for Thanksgiving and served a no-carb stuffing that tasted just like cardboard and had a similar texture. Criminal. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2009, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/egregious-cooking-violations/515044/112 "2009-10-28T18:35:42Z")
> [@GameHat](#): > > All beef - cooked until beyond gray. He out-britished the British in this one. I had no idea beef was tasty until I learned to cook on my own. I remember being at home after college and cooking a nice roast for the family. My dad was literally dumbstruck - “It’s so good!” “Yeah, I cooked it to a nice medium rare. Keeps it juicy and flavorful.” “My god. My mother always cooked it to well done. I never knew a roast could taste…well…good!” This was my parents’ experience when they were first married. My father’s mother overcooked meat and then mom was expected to cook for him. She had no idea how to cook steak but took it out when it was still rare/medium rare so it was a wonderful revelation to my pop. American cheese is OK in omelettes, but once at a diner, the cheese fries consisted of an order of steak fries with two pieces of American cheese melted over it. :smack: But the worst thing I’ve ever had to try to eat was turkey and vegetables suspended in aspic. I’m sure it was made the way it was supposed to be, it just shouldn’t exist at all. Like this picture, but substitute a round mold and shredded turkey and like maybe celery? > **[Aspic](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aspic)** > > Aspic (/ˈæspɪk/) or meat jelly is a savoury gelatin made with a meat stock or broth, set in a mold to encase other ingredients. These often include pieces of meat, seafood, vegetable, or eggs. Aspic is also sometimes referred to as aspic gelée or aspic jelly. In its simplest form, aspic is essentially a gelatinous version of conventional soup. > Meat aspics were made before fruit- and vegetable-flavoured aspics. A poetic reference is given by the poet Ibrahim ibn al-Mahdi, who described in the 9th... ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2009, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/egregious-cooking-violations/515044/113 "2009-10-28T19:35:42Z")
> [@Askance](#): > > Another famous occasion was when he made a casserole that called for a reasonable amount of garlic. So he threw in the requisite number of cloves - not, not bulbs, it was another of my friends who made that mistake - cooked and served. There was a powerful run on the meagre household supply of toothpicks and floss as we endeavoured to rid our interdentine interstices of the garlic paper that now infested the dish; he had apparently reasoned that you didn’t need to peel potatoes or apples if you were going to cook them, so why bother to peel garlic? This reminds me of something I did when I was a teenager. My mom was working late and called to ask me to make spaghetti sauce when I got home from school. “It’s easy,” she said. “Just follow the recipe.” All was well until I got to the part which called for “1 clove garlic.” _Clove_? What the hell is a _clove_? I’d never heard of such a thing before. So I grabbed me a _bulb_ of garlic, thinking “I guess they call this thing of garlic a clove,” and proceeded to crumble the entire bulb into the sauce, tossing out the “pits” as I went. (Think Curly Howard eating a clam shell and throwing away the “stuffing”!) The amazing thing is, the sauce tasted OK, just a bit too garlicky. My entire family ate it, then my mom said, “How much garlic did you use?” To which I replied: “One.” “One _what_?” she asked. I then described my culinary technique and it’s been a running joke in my family ever since. ---
**Author:** ![Barking\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Barking\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barking_Dog)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2009, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/egregious-cooking-violations/515044/114 "2009-10-28T19:45:15Z")
> [@WarmNPrickly](#): > > This isn’t a cooking violation. You don’t like it, and you decided to complain about it here. As you have pointed out, there are enough people that like this concoction for Budweiser to make money off of it. I love this stuff, and I drink it regularly. I hated it at first. I thought it was entirely wrong. But I tried it again, fully expecting the taste and it was great. Once the surprise was gone, I loved it. I actually do think it is wrong. Not just a personaly preference, but wrong. I don’t give a flying rat’s ass if you enjoy this or not. I had mentioned a good friend of mine enjoys this too. I just don’t think this should be perptrated on beer, even budweiser. In a lot of the other stories related in this thread, the cooks of these dishes are great fans of thier own cooking. But you don’t chastise those posters for insulting the food that they are relating. Why? Because you took _my_ comment as personal. I’m sorry if you did dude. But I stand by my statement. I don’t think beer should be messed about with, least of all with clam juice. ---
**Author:** ![WarmNPrickly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@WarmNPrickly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WarmNPrickly)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2009, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/egregious-cooking-violations/515044/115 "2009-10-28T20:14:09Z")
The violations posted here aren’t culturally established. Boiling a porterhouse steak is a bizaar way to cook. I suspect it takes out some of the best flavor. Michelada is an established drink popular in Latin America. You may as well complain about the Japanese eating raw fish or the Swedish soaking cod in lye. They aren’t cooking violations just because you don’t like them. ---
**Author:** ![filling\_pages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b9bd4f/32.png) [@filling\_pages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/filling_pages)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2009, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/egregious-cooking-violations/515044/116 "2009-10-29T17:54:50Z")
> [@Barking\_Dog](#): > > I actually do think it is wrong. Not just a personaly preference, but wrong. I don’t give a flying rat’s ass if you enjoy this or not. I had mentioned a good friend of mine enjoys this too. I just don’t think this should be perptrated on beer, even budweiser. > In a lot of the other stories related in this thread, the cooks of these dishes are great fans of thier own cooking. But you don’t chastise those posters for insulting the food that they are relating. Why? Because you took _my_ comment as personal. I’m sorry if you did dude. But I stand by my statement. I don’t think beer should be messed about with, least of all with clam juice. If a Michelada is a cooking violation, so is a Bloody Mary. ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2009, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/egregious-cooking-violations/515044/117 "2009-10-29T19:14:04Z")
My dad famously made a version of Cottage pie at christmas. You know cottage pie? Minced (ground) beef, onions, carrots and peas with a topping of mashed potato, topped with some cheese and placed under a grill 9broiler) until the topping is bubbly and golden. Yum. NOT when your dad makes it substituting left-over turkey for beef, and adds red wine for “flavour”. It has become known as the “purple turkey pie” incident. ---
**Author:** ![satoridt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@satoridt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/satoridt)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2009, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/egregious-cooking-violations/515044/118 "2009-10-30T21:35:14Z")
> [@MissTake](#): > > Every February the youth group at church holds a Revue Night complete with variety acts, silent auction, and a spaghetti dinner. A few years ago a parishoner decided to be kind and donated a few gallons of homemade spaghetti sauce. It was bad. So very bad. Who the hell puts jalapeno peppers in spaghetti sauce? Don’t have italian sausage? That’s okay, break up maple breakfast sausage. Tomatoes should _not_ be whole? Wow. > > . Jalapeño peppers in spaghetti sauce is delicious if you do it right. I’ve developed my sauce for awhile and started adding Jalapeño peppers about 6 months ago. It’s great, I get a lot of requests for it at pot lucks and people ask for the recipe all the time. I don’t think there is anything wrong with trying new things. You just have to be willing to abandon them if they don’t work. No, jalapeño peppers are not Italian but that does not automatically preclude them from being good in an Italian dish. It’s the melting pot ideal at its best! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/egregious-cooking-violations/515044.md?page=5)