# eHarmony sure does think I suck. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 3, 2005, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eharmony-sure-does-think-i-suck/329263 "2005-11-03T07:04:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 5\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![SusanStoHelit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ab992/32.png) [@SusanStoHelit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SusanStoHelit)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2005, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eharmony-sure-does-think-i-suck/329263/21 "2005-11-03T18:55:39Z")
> [@Scribble](#): > > Well, maybe so. But I’m not Christian at all, and I got matched with lots of people from lots of different backgrounds. I got a lot of Indian or Indian-descent programmers, actually. > > Keep in mind, also, that someone who self-identifies as “Christian” may have one of an enormous range of religious beliefs and practices. Many people I know who, on a multiple-choice survey would describe themselves as “Christian” do no more than keep up a vague tradition of Santa Claus and Easter Bunny. Many more don’t even do that, but they were raised in one of the many, many kinds of Christian or Christian-flavored traditions around, and they have just enough of their Christian or semi-Christian upbringing to check the “Christian” box on the form. Yes, but Roland’s profile specifically says that he only wants non-Christians. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2005, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eharmony-sure-does-think-i-suck/329263/22 "2005-11-03T18:56:02Z")
> [@Roland Orzabal](#): > > Truth be told, I met a girl about a week ago and I think it might hold promise. Cool. Keep us posted. But come on. We need to know whether you would date a married, carnivorous lizard. It’ll keep us awake nights wondering. ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2005, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eharmony-sure-does-think-i-suck/329263/23 "2005-11-03T18:57:20Z")
I took the compatibility test a few years ago, just for kicks. I wanted to see what all the fuss was about. At first, I was rejected, too. So, then I went back and changed some things I was either flexible on, or wasn’t sure I had understood the question the first time - like **Roland** , did the “first instinct” version. I was accepted… but no matches. However. _ahem_ In a couple of weeks, I began getting emails from eHarmony, saying, “We have found a match!” And my inbox was soon flooded with eager young men wanting to contact me and get to know me better. And I do mean _flooded_, I couldn’t keep up with the crap enough to delete it. I would delete one and two more would arrive. So for whatever reason, maybe it just takes a couple of weeks for it to find matches? I rarely had any immediate matches either, even when I logged in to check. Once or twice I had _one_ match on the page, but it never showed any of those hundreds of people who flooded my email. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Roland\_Orzabal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c2a13f/32.png) [@Roland\_Orzabal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roland_Orzabal)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2005, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eharmony-sure-does-think-i-suck/329263/24 "2005-11-03T19:16:10Z")
> [@SusanStoHelit](#): > > Yes, but Roland’s profile specifically says that he only wants non-Christians. Just to be perfectly clear, that is entirely for their sake, not mine. I do not pester people about their religion. Left to my own devices, I will never once bring it up; there are _plenty_ of other topics to get all conversationally analytical about – trust me on that one – that don’t end up with the other person getting pissed off and defensive with me. Besides, I really have nothing against anything any particular person might choose to believe; it’s just that, as yet, I’ve not been presented with any compelling reason to believe it myself. Nonetheless, it seems whenever I’m with anyone of any sort of faith for any length of time, the subject is raised. (In a way, I suppose it makes sense; if I honestly believed that a) there was a hell and b) those who believed differently from me would go there, I might spend a significant amount of time trying to spare the ones I cared about from that fate as well.) Please note also that the “non-Christians only” thing is by no means a filter I apply to my real-life interactions. One of my closest friends – in fact, the one I may very well end up working with on a long-term basis – is a very devout Christian. He’s also an old debate buddy, which explains why we can trade arguments back and forth 'til the sun goes down without either one of us getting offended. So, the “no Christians” thing in my profile isn’t a condemnation of every member of the Christian faith. It’s more “if you’re a devoted Christian, there is a greater-than-decent chance that I will just piss you off, so you may be better off finding someone whose faith is more compatible with yours”. I wouldn’t mind dating a Christian who wouldn’t mind dating me. Actually, that last sentence pretty much sums it up, doesn’t it? Gotta love thinking things all the way through…occasionally, you end up 180 degrees of longitude from where you thought you were. All you have to do at that point is make sure you have the presence of mind to stay there. Good enough, then. Off to remove that particular restriction from my profile. ---
**Author:** ![SusanStoHelit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ab992/32.png) [@SusanStoHelit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SusanStoHelit)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2005, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eharmony-sure-does-think-i-suck/329263/25 "2005-11-03T19:42:09Z")
> [@Roland Orzabal](#): > > I wouldn’t mind dating a Christian who wouldn’t mind dating me. That makes much more sense. I said essentially the same thing to my SO: As long as you don’t mind dating a girl who can’t handle reality and needs a comfortable lie to get through life, I can handle dating a Godless sinner who is blind to the glory all around him. 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/eharmony-sure-does-think-i-suck/329263.md?page=1)