# Elementary Limericks **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 6, 2014, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elementary-limericks/692465 "2014-07-06T06:35:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2014, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elementary-limericks/692465/1 "2014-07-06T06:35:18Z")
I apologize for nothing, because I’ve lost neutrality; in fact, I’m really quite charged: ```auto Here's a pair of nitrogen Their bond is hella tightrogen But in TNT Take care, or you'll be Launched by them into flightrogen! Carbon's a substance quite protean It's in the air, the land, and your boatean It even forms rings (Which are biochem things That undergrads learn quite by rotean). Helium's really quite dull: For you see, its shells are all full! With electrons it's sated: One pair, with spins mated. Too bad it escapes our gravity's pull. Hydrogen has little heft; of neutrons, usually bereft. But what it has will serve the charge to conserve so soon, it'll be all that is left! Technetium's really quite rara. In nature, there's not hide nor hara. So look in the wards with lead-lined doords You might find you some thera. ``` ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2014, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elementary-limericks/692465/2 "2014-07-06T10:22:01Z")
Magnesium, helium, lithium, Potassium, calcium, sodium, Neon, argon, Xenon, krypton, Beryllium, barium, cesium. ---
**Author:** ![davida03801](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5e925/32.png) [@davida03801](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davida03801)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2014, 10:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elementary-limericks/692465/3 "2014-07-06T10:43:28Z")
George Eliots Old Grandfather Rode a Pig home yesterday First letter of each word spells …Geography There were a many others like that going around my elementary school in 4-5-6 grade times, but that is the only one i remember. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2014, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elementary-limericks/692465/4 "2014-07-06T13:51:30Z")
At what point did this go off topic? Or did it? ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2014, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elementary-limericks/692465/5 "2014-07-06T15:06:51Z")
Sulfur is used in fine matches, Acids and fertilizer batches. It also is known By some as brimstone, Thus the gates of the place that is Scratch’s. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2014, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elementary-limericks/692465/6 "2014-07-06T15:37:25Z")
The alkali metal called Sodium Finds its native condition an odium; And you hadn’t oughta Drop some into water Or you’ll find that it’s [made of explodium](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MadeOfExplodium)! ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2014, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elementary-limericks/692465/7 "2014-07-07T16:20:42Z")
When writing a rhyme about boron The poet may look like a moron, For there’s hardly a mint (Save for boracic lint) Of familiar material to draw on. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2014, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elementary-limericks/692465/8 "2014-07-07T16:45:48Z")
\*A mathematician confided That the Mobius band is one-sided. And he said, “you’ll get quite a laugh if you cut one in half For it stays in one piece when divided!” A mathematician named Klein Thought the Mobius band divine. He said, “If you glue The edges of two, You’ll get a weird bottle like mine.” An eager young woman named Bright had a speed much faster than light. She set out one day, In a relative way, And returned the previous night.\* ---
**Author:** ![Shark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/73ab20/32.png) [@Shark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shark)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2014, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elementary-limericks/692465/9 "2014-07-07T17:26:18Z")
The mercury at room temperature flowed From the vessel where it was stowed When the valve came undone They all had to run Or a heavy wave they’d have rode ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mask\_behind\_the\_Mask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ebca7d/32.png) [@The\_Mask\_behind\_the\_Mask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mask_behind_the_Mask)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2014, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elementary-limericks/692465/10 "2014-07-07T20:12:24Z")
Sir Obliti, eager to experiment, Decided to create a new element. Although he was clever, His trials took forever; In the end, he forgot just where the hell he was going with all this. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2014, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elementary-limericks/692465/11 "2014-07-07T20:23:39Z")
A ribbon - quite thin - of magnesium Burns at less than five hundred degreesium\* And if you want a light That is brilliant and white You will find it entirely pleasium. \*Celsius, that is. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2014, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elementary-limericks/692465/12 "2014-07-07T20:30:34Z")
Neodymium’s really quite rare, And you might think “Well, who’d even care?” But a skillful refiner (Based, usually, in China) Can make stupid-strong magnets - so there!