# Elephant Proof **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 26, 2006, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270 "2006-05-26T02:19:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/21 "2006-05-26T13:38:44Z")
I didn’t believe you were serious until I was about 3/4 done reading it. That’s the strangest thing I’ve ever heard. Is the pool cover company going to stand behind their product, or are they really going to hide behind the “elephants have flat feet” defense? ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/22 "2006-05-26T13:53:04Z")
Just out of curiosity, why didn’t you lift him out with [The Blimp](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=160851) ? 😃 I have the feeling that this post will be enshrined next to The Blimp in short order. ---
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/23 "2006-05-26T14:05:35Z")
You’re a better man than I am. I would have shot the cow and enjoyed a whole summer of burgers. ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/24 "2006-05-26T14:34:53Z")
This is funny and all, but I didn’t read a single bit of evidence pointing towards an elephant being the culprit for these shenanigans! Just where _is_ this “elephant proof”? :dubious: 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/25 "2006-05-26T14:35:10Z")
> [@August West](#): > > You’re a better man than I am. I would have shot the cow and enjoyed a whole summer of burgers. Heck, you could drop a passel of bucket heaters into the pool and make beef stew. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/26 "2006-05-26T14:42:36Z")
[Samuel Jackson] I want this motherfuckin’ cow out of this motherfuckin pool! [/Samuel Jackson] ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/27 "2006-05-26T14:43:19Z")
Excuse me, but how did the story end? Did the cow walk away? Was it shot? Is it undegoing some radical experimental life-extension process a-la Barbaro? C’mon, out with it: How Now Drown Cow…? ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/28 "2006-05-26T14:44:28Z")
> [@Scylla](#): > > Fucking cow. Fuck me. I live in Pennsylvania and am surrounded by cows and I spent $1,200 on an elephant proof cover. If I lived in India, I would be genius. Just for the record; in case you’re still considering relocation as a solution to your problems, I feel you ought to know that they also have some cows in India. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/29 "2006-05-26T15:36:38Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > Just for the record; in case you’re still considering relocation as a solution to your problems, I feel you ought to know that they also have some cows in India. Yes, but in Asia and Africa they sell these as cow proof covers, and you only have to worry about getting an elephant in your pool. I wonder what the cow was thinking – “gee, this seems a nice spot for a stroll”? ---
**Author:** ![ArrMatey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/arrmatey/32/3522_2.png) [@ArrMatey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArrMatey)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/30 "2006-05-26T15:44:09Z")
> [@cabdude](#): > > Yeah, right, like it’s _my_ fault there is a half drowned cow upside down in my pool. Sig line? Pleeeeease?! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/31 "2006-05-26T15:57:27Z")
The cow, being from Pennslyvania, is obviously a huge fan of of local filmmaker M. Night Shyamalan and the cow was acting out the climatic scene from Unbreakable. ---
**Author:** ![samm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/858c86/32.png) [@samm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samm)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/32 "2006-05-26T16:03:24Z")
This is one of the most hilarious things ever and I forwarded it to my friends to read. I wish you would have gotten a picture or two. Scylla, please take your stories and make each one a chapter in the world’s funniest book. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/33 "2006-05-26T16:15:32Z")
> [@Scylla](#): > > Scroll down to the picture of the elephant walking across. I dunno about that picture. That elephant looks incredibly small. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/34 "2006-05-26T16:57:29Z")
> [@UncleBeer](#): > > I dunno about that picture. That elephant looks incredibly small. Yeah, that’s a [baby elephant.](http://www.elephantsanctuary.org/bios/batir_photos.asp) Probably doesn’t weight more than [2000 kilos or so.](http://www.upali.ch/weight_en.html) ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/35 "2006-05-26T16:58:31Z")
> [@Scylla](#): > > …Immediately, I understand the problem. Cows have sharp hooves. Elephants have flat feet… So if your cow had been like [this guy](http://www.alyon.org/generale/theatre/cinema/affiches_cinema/t/tir-tri/top_secret.jpg) you’d have been OK? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/36 "2006-05-26T17:00:19Z")
> [@UncleBeer](#): > > I dunno about that picture. That elephant looks incredibly small. Yeah, is the name of the cover The Baby Elephant Walk? I should point out, of course, that the cover did exactly as advertised. They claimed that an elephant wouldn’t break through it, and in fact, no elephant did. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/37 "2006-05-26T17:02:34Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Yeah, that’s a [baby elephant.](http://www.elephantsanctuary.org/bios/batir_photos.asp) > Probably doesn’t weight more than [2000 kilos or so.](http://www.upali.ch/weight_en.html) He’s so cute, playing with the ball. ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/38 "2006-05-26T17:07:41Z")
> [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#): > > Could’ve been worse. Could’ve been a bull. Or gophers. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/39 "2006-05-26T17:07:48Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Yeah, that’s a [baby elephant.](http://www.elephantsanctuary.org/bios/batir_photos.asp) > Probably doesn’t weight more than [2000 kilos or so.](http://www.upali.ch/weight_en.html) No way, man. Elephant tusks don’t begin to poke their way out of the mouth until the beast nears its third year. The one in that picture has a pretty good pair, so it’s almost certainly a full-grown elphnut. ---
**Author:** ![Oy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bc8723/32.png) [@Oy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oy)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/40 "2006-05-26T17:08:57Z")
> [@BMalion](#): > > So if your cow had been like [this guy](http://www.alyon.org/generale/theatre/cinema/affiches_cinema/t/tir-tri/top_secret.jpg) you’d have been OK? Snowshoes would probably work better than galoshes, but yeah, I’d guess he would have not broken through had his weight not been concentrated on small hooves like that. **Scylla** , you have horses too, don’t you? You need to fence off that pool! God, is there much in the world cuter than a baby elephant? Maybe a baby pig… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270.md?page=3)