# Elephant Proof **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 26, 2006, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270 "2006-05-26T02:19:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/41 "2006-05-26T17:13:24Z")
> [@UncleBeer](#): > > No way, man. Elephant tusks don’t begin to poke their way out of the mouth until the beast nears its third year. The one in that picture has a pretty good pair, so it’s almost certainly a full-grown elphnut. Maybe it’s one of those elusive pygmy elephants we keep hearing about. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/42 "2006-05-26T17:14:47Z")
> [@Homebrew](#): > > Or gophers. wearing high-heels! ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/43 "2006-05-26T17:17:41Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > He’s so cute, playing with the ball. Actually Batir is a girl, but [they](http://www.elephantsanctuary.org/default2.asp) still need donations if anyone is in the mood. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/44 "2006-05-26T17:23:42Z")
> [@UncleBeer](#): > > No way, man. Elephant tusks don’t begin to poke their way out of the mouth until the beast nears its third year. The one in that picture has a pretty good pair, so it’s almost certainly a full-grown elphnut. It has been said that Mods have no sense of humor… :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Eureka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/74df32/32.png) [@Eureka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eureka)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/45 "2006-05-26T17:44:52Z")
When I was in Africa, I stayed in a place which had an “Elephant Proof Fence”. This fence was intended to keep elephants, and pretty much ONLY elephants out of the camp. I was amused, especially when we learned about how a leopard had been seen drinking from the pool, and we saw other (mostly small) wildlife in camp. It was not kind of the pool cover makers to lead you to believe that an elephant proof cover would keep cows out as well. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/46 "2006-05-26T17:48:01Z")
> [@Eureka](#): > > This fence was intended to keep elephants, and pretty much ONLY elephants out of the camp. What was it made of? The fence at Riddle’s is made of rail road rails (not ties, rails) and is sunk nine feet into the ground. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/47 "2006-05-26T17:48:54Z")
I have hiccups from laughing so hard now. Thank you,\*\* Scylla\*\*. ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/48 "2006-05-26T17:55:33Z")
Great story **Scylla** , but now I have an old hispanic kid’s song stuck in my head: \*One elephant was balancing over a pool cover. And because it did not break, the elephant told another to get over … 2 elephants were balancing over a pool cover. And because it did not break, the elephants told another to get over … 3 elephants… \* \* 🙂 [sub]\* Lyrics changed to add the pool cover. This is the Latin American version of the _1000 bottles of beer on the wall_: not the same tune, it is just that the song is used on the same situations, funnier as the number of elephants continues to grow, the original has the elephants balancing on a spider web.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/49 "2006-05-26T18:05:52Z")
If only we could have seen the expression on the cow’s face… [http://www.pauldavidson.net/wp-content/themes/wfme/images/entries/cowtalk.gif](http://www.pauldavidson.net/wp-content/themes/wfme/images/entries/cowtalk.gif) ---
**Author:** ![Waverly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/50 "2006-05-26T18:43:57Z")
I feel for you. I too have owned the iniquitous elephant proof cover. In fact, I had one that could be cranked in place every day, not just at that end of the season. You see, I live in mortal fear of the water. Not for myself. I happen to love swimming, and would do it every day if I could. But experience, and carefully crafted scaretistics, have molded me into what I am today: the unholy offspring of Aquaman, and a chronically worrying old bitty. Did you know that pools kill more children than ebola-infected pit bulls? It’s a verifiable fact. I bought the home in fall. The weather was just about warm enough to keep swimming for another couple of weeks, but old owners saved us the trouble by diligently avoiding any pool care while they waited to move out. The once beautiful pool was an opaque green, and vaguely foul smelling, by move-in day. I hastily closed the thing, and ‘winterized’ it the same way the old owners had: with a cheap tarp and cinder block weights. Isn’t that how everyone does it? I knew I had to have the elephant cover from the time I first saw the add, but it was going to have to wait until spring. I measured, re-measured, and planned all late fall. I was not about to come home one day and find every kid in the neighborhood bobbing lifelessly in my pool. Nope. The little terrors could climb my fence, jump on the cover, but never drown themselves like lemmings as I knew they would without my intervention. Then December came. The tarp the old owners had graciously left me was waterproof. Just what you would want for a pool cover right? Rain and accumulated water eventually won their struggle against the heroic cinder blocks, dragging about half of them into the pool and puncturing the lining. I went swimming that day. I lugged every goddam block out of the pool in the hopes of saving it, and installed the fucking elephant cover months ahead of plan. You know, that crank never worked quite right. Fucking pools. I don’t own a pool anymore. I relax on Jones beach, without nearly the cares of a hapless pool owner. Ten thousand children in the heavy surf, preteen lifeguards asleep, parents drunk or with their faces in books. Last year I logged one amateur rescue, a ruined ipod, and some dimly accusatory remarks in what I think might have been Farsi from the brat’s negligent parents. How relaxing for me. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/51 "2006-05-26T18:59:59Z")
Great **Scylla**. Now not only do I need to worry about cows in my front yard (they occasionally escape from the dairy down the road) now I have to worry about marauding cows swimming in my pool. Damn cows! ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/52 "2006-05-26T19:09:06Z")
> [@Waverly](#): > > … Last year I logged one amateur rescue, a ruined ipod, and some dimly accusatory remarks in what I think might have been Farsi from the brat’s negligent parents. How relaxing for me. You know what they say. No good deed goes unpunished. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/53 "2006-05-26T20:39:29Z")
> [@Lute Skywatcher](#): > > Maybe it’s one of those elusive pygmy elephants we keep hearing about. 😉 Actually, in times prehistoric, there were such critters on several small islands in the area of Indonesia. It is believed they went extinct because the komodo dragons ate 'em all. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/54 "2006-05-26T20:40:42Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > It has been said that Mods have no sense of humor… :rolleyes: Which is why I quit. I was too funny for the rest of 'em. :rolleyes: yerself. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/55 "2006-05-26T20:49:31Z")
> [@UncleBeer](#): > > It is believed they went extinct because the komodo dragons ate 'em all. Nasty lizards. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/56 "2006-05-26T20:51:04Z")
> [@UncleBeer](#): > > :rolleyes: yerself. Any lo, many have praised the change in your general disposition and countenance, Oh Uncle of Beers. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/57 "2006-05-26T21:07:13Z")
Bravo! I’m still wiping the tears of laughter away. I may be one of only a handful of Dopers who can commiserate at the level of having personal experience extracting cows in distress from man-made bodies of water with heavy farm equipment. But my situation involved merely a watering trough that was not (to my knowlege) pachyderm proof, but she had managed to somehow get herself wedged into the trough, hooves up. ---
**Author:** ![Oy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bc8723/32.png) [@Oy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oy)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/58 "2006-05-26T21:26:53Z")
> [@honeydewgrrl](#): > > Bravo! > > I’m still wiping the tears of laughter away. > > I may be one of only a handful of Dopers who can commiserate at the level of having personal experience extracting cows in distress from man-made bodies of water with heavy farm equipment. But my situation involved merely a watering trough that was not (to my knowlege) pachyderm proof, but she had managed to somehow get herself wedged into the trough, hooves up. Now, I know cows aren’t all that enormously bright, but how in the name of all that’s holy did she manage to do that? I mean, that had to take some serious effort! And I think that particular one IS pachyderm-proof. An elephant might smoosh a watering trough, but I doubt she could get wedged in one. ---
**Author:** ![ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/59 "2006-05-26T21:34:43Z")
> [@Oy!](#): > > Now, I know cows aren’t all that enormously bright, but how in the name of all that’s holy did she manage to do that? I mean, that had to take some serious effort! > > And I think that particular one IS pachyderm-proof. An elephant might smoosh a watering trough, but I doubt she could get wedged in one. The other cows never told me. I came running around the corner of the milking barn when I heard her bellow like the world was ending, and found her like that. ---
**Author:** ![Oy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bc8723/32.png) [@Oy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oy)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/60 "2006-05-26T21:37:19Z")
Ah, the black-and-white wall of silence! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270.md?page=4)