# Elephant Proof **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 26, 2006, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270 "2006-05-26T02:19:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2006, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/81 "2006-05-27T19:01:58Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Are they going to make the cow pay for this shit? > Is she going to be walking down the road all day long picking up aluminium cans? They could get the orange vest over her shoulders, but w/ no thumbs, she’d be pretty useless. The cow will pay for it by having ‘GOOB’ written across her side in **lipstick like crayon marker** one day. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2006, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/82 "2006-05-27T19:40:25Z")
> [@Nawth Chucka](#): > > but w/ no thumbs, she’d be pretty useless. She could pick 'em up with those big 'ol teeth. ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2006, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/83 "2006-05-28T03:34:54Z")
> [@Kotick](#): > > What a great story! > > But what busts my brains is that they sell elephant proof covers in the States. Do you have a lot of problems with elephants in pools over there? :dubious: Why, yes…yes we do. Well, no…no, we don’t. We have ELEPHANT-PROOF COVERS, you see, so there is NO problem with elephants in pools over here. COWS, on the other hand… ---
**Author:** ![Poysyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Poysyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poysyn)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2006, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/84 "2006-05-28T14:48:23Z")
> [@The Flying Dutchman](#): > > Most pool fencing regulations seem to require one 5 foot fence. Chaulk one up for bureaucratic regulation. We require a minimum 8 foot fence with a locked gate in our city. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2006, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/85 "2006-05-28T23:40:00Z")
> [@UncleBeer](#): > > I dunno about that picture. That elephant looks incredibly small. I know it’s what _everybody_ says about _every_ image on the net, but that photo looks wrong to me; I’m aware that the colour depth has beemn reduced to the extent that the image is practically posterised, but still, I suspect photoshoppery. The elephant is standing too comfortably; as if it was just on level ground. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2006, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/86 "2006-05-29T00:10:44Z")
> [@Poysyn](#): > > We require a minimum 8 foot fence with a locked gate in our city. Yeah, like that’s gonna stop [Willie.](http://www.elephantsanctuary.org/bios/african.asp) ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2006, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/87 "2006-05-29T00:11:05Z")
I noticed one of the ads said “Swimming Pool Fencing.” I’m not sure I like the idea of swords in the pool. I have a liner in my pool after all. ---
**Author:** ![wonderlust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonderlust/32/7237_2.png) [@wonderlust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonderlust)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2006, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/88 "2006-05-29T00:37:52Z")
I haven’t come across one of your stories in months. I’m so glad to have found this. By the way, I think you proved cow, but you didn’t prove elephant. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Flying_Dutchman)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2006, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/89 "2006-05-29T01:27:34Z")
I tried going to sleep last night with visions of cows leaping a fence. The problem however was their udders kept slapping the top of the fence as the rear legs stretched out up and back while in the air. Either the OP’s cow obviously didn’t learn her lesson on the first of two fences or the cow is really a steer. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2006, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/90 "2006-07-14T19:36:19Z")
**Scylla** , I feel your pain (although I’m also laughing about it). I presume you’ve named your swimming pool Charybdis? It would certainly fit, since it’s sucking in cows. I haven’t had a cow in my pool, but I’ll share a related story: We had one of your basic bubble-wrap type thermal covers on our pool. The kids let their 4-H sheep out of the pen to eat the apples that had fallen off of our apple tree. You see this coming, right? One of the sheep started wandering toward the pool. The kids yelled at it and it broke into a trot. It trotted right into the pool. By the time I got there, summoned by the shrieking of the kids and the panicked bleating of the sheep, it had torn up the cover with its sharp little hooves, and was making its way toward the deep end, scrabbling frantically at the edge of the pool, and sucking in mouthfuls of water. Being a man of action, I grabbed the sheep–which the kids had appropriately named “Spaz”–and tried to haul it out. No dice. Spaz weighed 220 pounds _without_ the 14 tons of water his wool had soaked up, and he was struggling like mad. There was no way I was going to haul him out that way. _sigh_ Once again, you see it coming, right? I took my wallet out of my pocket, kicked off my boots, and leaped into the pool. It was about 5 feet deep there, and I’m 6’4" tall, so that put the flailing hooves right at chin level. Let me elaborate. That put the sharp, sheep-manure-encrusted, flailing hooves uncomfortably close to my face. I managed to manouver around beside Spaz while he did his best to climb on my back for a piggy-back ride, got my arms around his middle, and dragged him over to the stairs at the shallow end. A swift and soggy kick to his wooly butt coerced him to climb out. I swear he had soaked up so much water the pool level dropped a half-inch when he got out. I could have wrung him out like a sponge and watered my whole lawn. I followed him out of the pool, and waved my arms and yelled to encourage him to head back for his pen. He took several steps backward, shook like a dog, lost his balance, _and fell in the pool again_. I still don’t think my daughter knows how close we came to having leg-o-lamb for dinner that night. If you want to share some cattle-with-heads-stuck-in-things stories, just let me know. I’ve got several. ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2006, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/91 "2006-07-15T00:52:57Z")
> [@Kotick](#): > > What a great story! > > But what busts my brains is that they sell elephant proof covers in the States. Do you have a lot of problems with elephants in pools over there? :dubious: Well, since Star Jones had her surgery… (I am SO going to hell for that one) ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2006, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/92 "2006-07-15T04:49:13Z")
It might be a pygmy elephant a subspecies of the asian elephant. Here’s what you use when an elephant falls into the pool. [Elephant lift.](http://www.acclaimimages.com/_gallery/_pages/0001-0302-1309-4754.html) This is one funny thread. I rank it equal to “Why ChiefScott is Afraid of Toilets” ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2006, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/93 "2006-07-15T05:07:44Z")
This would have been a great tale for the morning radio show “Animal Stories” from the 80’s featuring Uncle Lar’ and Snott Nosed Li’l Tommy. I see they now have their albums converted into cd’s. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2006, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/94 "2006-07-15T05:30:04Z")
> [@InvisibleWombat](#): > > That put the sharp, sheep-manure-encrusted, flailing hooves uncomfortably close to my face. I managed to manouver around beside Spaz while he did his best to climb on my back for a piggy-back ride, got my arms around his middle, and dragged him over to the stairs at the shallow end. So did the sheep leave cloven hoof marks on your body. I can imagine what I would have told the neighbors. “I had the Devil on my back, and we danced all night.” ---
**Author:** ![DanBlather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f4b2a3/32.png) [@DanBlather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DanBlather)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2006, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/95 "2006-07-15T06:06:03Z")
> [@BMalion](#): > > [Samuel Jackson] > > I want this motherfuckin’ cow out of this motherfuckin pool! > > [/Samuel Jackson] Next summer’s top sequel: _Cows On A Plane_ ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2006, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/96 "2006-07-15T19:53:50Z")
> [@Harmonious Discord](#): > > So did the sheep leave cloven hoof marks on your body. I can imagine what I would have told the neighbors. “I had the Devil on my back, and we danced all night.” As good as that line would have been, I didn’t need it. I actually did a halfway decent job of hoof-dodging, and I was wearing jeans and a long-sleeved shirt. I’ve spent enough time around critters with hooves, horns, teeth, and other dangerous appendages to learn that lesson–although I did take a horn to the neck from an injured goat once. But that’s a different story. ---
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2006, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/97 "2006-07-16T02:25:59Z")
> [@quietman1920](#): > > C’mon, out with it: How Now Drown Cow…? Frigging hilarious! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2006, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/98 "2006-07-16T13:44:13Z")
Clearly, **Scylla** needs to buy a digital camera. I think we aughta chip in and make sure he has one on him at all times. Video would be nice too. ---
**Author:** ![amarone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@amarone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarone)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2015, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270/99 "2015-11-09T13:22:26Z")
Some threads deserve to be woken up from time to time. I had a pool cover installed last week and was interested to see that the one recommended by our pool company is indeed elephant-proof. I hope that I am not proved to be a “moron” in that what I really need is a cover that is raccoon-proof and live oak leaf-proof. Time will tell. Still, there is no danger of cows trekking across the marsh to get access to our pool. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elephant-proof/358270.md?page=4)