# Elevator Crap (literally) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 30, 2002, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elevator-crap-literally/134588 "2002-10-30T19:41:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2002, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elevator-crap-literally/134588/41 "2002-10-31T19:01:28Z")
Did the terd look like the depositor had tried to scratch carpet on top of it? I don’t know many production equipment testers that would try that. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2002, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elevator-crap-literally/134588/42 "2002-10-31T23:33:00Z")
My sister’s friend used to work in a women’s clothing store. She quit after she was asked to clean up a pile of shit out of one of the changing rooms. Some people are just filthy. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2002, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elevator-crap-literally/134588/43 "2002-10-31T23:45:14Z")
Well, aren’t most guide dogs trained NOT to do that? BTW, I’ve heard of a prank called “upper decking”, where people lift the lid off the toilet tank and take a shit in there. ---
**Author:** ![scott\_evil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@scott\_evil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scott_evil)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2002, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elevator-crap-literally/134588/44 "2002-11-01T01:25:29Z")
Is this a [growing new trend](http://www.wired.com/news/technology/0,1282,56096,00.html)? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![samarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@samarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samarm)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2002, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elevator-crap-literally/134588/45 "2002-11-01T01:36:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by PunditLisa \* > **My sister’s friend used to work in a women’s clothing store. She quit after she was asked to clean up a pile of shit out of one of the changing rooms.** This kind of thing is just beyond belief for me. I mean how can people take a dump in a changing room - what if someone came in? And what about the _smell_? I’d really like to meet these people that just crap anywhere thay feel like - just to see if they’re “normal”. I have had experience of this once - when I was a kid someone had taken a dump on the shared stairs where we lived. Frigging disgusting! ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2002, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elevator-crap-literally/134588/46 "2002-11-01T01:42:02Z")
I had a friend once who took a crap off of someone’s porch-she just had to go. Ick, I know. The thing was, it was a house that another friend was housesitting-feeding the dogs and cat. But um…the dogs age the evidence. _barf_ ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2002, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elevator-crap-literally/134588/47 "2002-11-01T01:48:17Z")
Remember, if it’s in a funky shape, it’s a crapazoid. ---
**Author:** ![King\_Nifty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f9ae1b/32.png) [@King\_Nifty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/King_Nifty)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2002, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elevator-crap-literally/134588/48 "2002-11-01T02:22:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by «\ëëp?F®ïêd»™ \* > \*\*First a little backround, then the rant: > > I work and live in a pleasant community just south of San Jose / Silicon Valley California. My job in microwave measurement test equipment production has many facets. One such facet recquires that certain production units be placed in a temperature controlled enviroment to monitor reliability (referred to as the burn-in process.) The burn-in room is located up stairs in a seperate building than the one in which I do most of my testing. In order to transport units between buildings I must use a large cart. That being said i will begin. > > YOU SICK DISGUSTING PUTRID PEICE OF HUMAN GARBAGE! > You took a shit in the elevator…you dropped your fucking pants and squatted right there in the elevator! what the FUCK were you thinking??? Did you think no one would notice? You couldn’t wait out the minute and a half ride to the second floor? There are nice clean bathrooms no more than thirty feet from the elevator on BOTH floors you filthy flea-bitten rancid fuck-face! HOW DARE YOU! how did you pull it off? It must of taken timing and precision to get out of your pants and squat out that stinking pile of feces that is undoubtably your identical twin and then unsquat and pull your pants up. All in a minute and a half?? And furthermore, WHAT THE HELL DID YOU WIPE WITH?? YOUR HAND?? Did you take some toilet paper with you? Did you draw up blueprints to scale and sit at your desk and plot and plan the best routes? WHAT KIND OF TWISTED FUCK ARE YOU?? I HOPE YOU ROT IN HELL YOU BASTARD! > > …and as an aside- there is only one elevator in the building and the cart is too heavy to carry so I had to ride back down with it too… :mad: \*\* Nope. Don’t believe you. You just wanted to start a funny Pit thread. Didn’t happen, Potsy. ---
**Author:** ![bobkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c67d28/32.png) [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2002, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elevator-crap-literally/134588/49 "2002-11-01T02:31:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by OpalCat \* > \*\*I can top that. > > When my dad’s house was being built, we used to go periodically to see the progress. When it was almost finished, we went in and there was this smell… > > We finally tracked it down… it was in the bathroom cabinet. Some construction guy had SAT ON THE HOLE WHERE THE SINK WAS GOING TO GO and SHIT DOWN INTO THE CABINET!!! > > It was really big, too. > > God that was nasty. \*\* Construction workers are known for their lack of manners. During his last lifetime Mr. Kitty was a HVAC installer, and regularly interacted with the carpenters, plumbers, etc. This next story has a bit of a wind-up, but the punch line is worth it. One fine day, after Mr. Kitty had had lunch at Burger King, he went into the crawl space to lay out the ductwork. He’d taken a pinch of tobacco from a coworker due to a toothache, but as he was working in the really, really, really hot crawl he accidentally swallowed a little of the juice. Sweat immediately popped out on his forehead, and his lunch started making a quick detour. Slithering out from the crawl, he made his way to the yet-to-be-completed bathroom to give lunch the heave-ho… lifted the toilet seat and was confronted by a huge pile of shit that one of the carpenters had left there. Mr. Kitty puked, and puked, and puked. Unfortunately, he discovered they hadn’t turned the water on in the house yet. They actually had to throw the toilet away and get a new one. Ugh. Then there was that time with the cardboard box of nails… nah, you don’t want to hear about that. -BK ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2002, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elevator-crap-literally/134588/50 "2002-11-01T02:34:24Z")
What’s not to believe? It’s not as if it’s never, ever happened. ---
**Author:** ![samarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@samarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samarm)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2002, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elevator-crap-literally/134588/51 "2002-11-01T02:38:22Z")
Damn, **King Nifty** must work at the same place as **DeepFried**. I feel so foolish for believing the OP, now! ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2002, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elevator-crap-literally/134588/52 "2002-11-01T10:58:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by King Nifty \* > \*\*Nope. Don’t believe you. You just wanted to start a funny Pit thread. Didn’t happen, Potsy. \*\* Why don’t you start your own thread about how somebody took a shit inside your cranium? ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2002, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elevator-crap-literally/134588/53 "2002-11-01T11:49:39Z")
I also worked in a department store where we had a problem with someone repeatedly using one of the women’s fitting rooms as a bathroom. I don’t know if they ever caught the person, but I would love to know how she(?) could be rude enough to do such a thing. CJ ---
**Author:** ![istara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e79b87/32.png) [@istara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/istara)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2002, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elevator-crap-literally/134588/54 "2002-11-01T12:33:22Z")
The builders at a friend’s parents’ house regularly used the new lavatory to piss in long before it was connected to water. It was like a bucket of dark, rancid, scummy stagnant piss. Well it wasn’t like that as such, that’s what it was. Re: dog shit or human shit? - dog shit (to my nostrils) has a very distinctive smell all of its own. I am sure - without getting too close - most people could tell the difference? I think I could. Any scatologists/coprocologists or whatever the hell shit-specialists are known as care to drop by on this interesting human v canine matter? ---
**Author:** ![heresiarch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/278dde/32.png) [@heresiarch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/heresiarch)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2002, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elevator-crap-literally/134588/55 "2002-11-01T12:59:28Z")
Sorry, I’m not even qualified to make a WAG. It could be Shinola for all I know. ---
**Author:** ![Briminator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ba9def/32.png) [@Briminator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Briminator)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2002, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elevator-crap-literally/134588/56 "2002-11-01T12:59:57Z")
> [@](#): > > You sure the turd was of human origin? I’m thinking someone’s guide dog may have been responsible That has happened, back in the days when I was a bike messenger I heard 2 security guards bitching about a guide dog who took a big shit in one of the elevators 5 minutes before I got there, the even had it on camera which was really nice. ---
**Author:** ![Briminator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ba9def/32.png) [@Briminator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Briminator)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2002, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elevator-crap-literally/134588/57 "2002-11-01T13:09:09Z")
> [@](#): > > You sure the turd was of human origin? I’m thinking someone’s guide dog may have been responsible That has happened, back in the days when I was a bike messenger I heard 2 security guards bitching about a guide dog who took a big shit in one of the elevators 5 minutes before I got there, the even had it on camera which was really nice. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2002, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elevator-crap-literally/134588/58 "2002-11-01T13:11:36Z")
With all due respect **Briminator** , I’d like to suggest we all wait for **King Nifty** ’s analysis of your post before we just believe you 😉 ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2002, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elevator-crap-literally/134588/59 "2002-11-01T13:24:57Z")
My contribution: when in grad school, I worked part-time as a libraian. One day, there was this awful smeel in one of the stacks. Investigating, Ifound that someone had dropped a “big one” right in modern fiction! I guess he was expressing his opinion of JamesJoyce! ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2002, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elevator-crap-literally/134588/60 "2002-11-01T13:27:12Z")
James Joyce is modern? He died 60 years ago! 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elevator-crap-literally/134588.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elevator-crap-literally/134588.md?page=4)