# Elfbabe goes to prison
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elfbabe-goes-to-prison/302096
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [May 2, 2005, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elfbabe-goes-to-prison/302096 "2005-05-02T18:35:57Z")
**Posts on this page:** 17
**Page:** 4
### Author:  [@phall0106](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phall0106)
#### Post date: [May 4, 2005, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elfbabe-goes-to-prison/302096/61 "2005-05-04T19:03:09Z")
> [@Qadgop the Mercotan](#):
>
> …If you’re wearing an underwire bra you’ll be asked to take it off and go thru the metal detector again…
> :
A vacation where I don’t have to wear a bra! Hot damn, count me in!!!
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### Author:  [@butler1850](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/butler1850)
#### Post date: [May 4, 2005, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elfbabe-goes-to-prison/302096/62 "2005-05-04T20:10:37Z")
I once had a position where I did some support in the Mass penal system’s health centers.
I was the only one of the 4 members of my team that could visit the any of the system’s locations. The other 3 had some sort of legal case open (not going into what/why here), and therefore were not allowed in.
I had to give notice 24 hours in advance that I was going to be making a service call, and provide my name, ssn, date and place of birth. They ran that through the system (I’d assume NCIC) to see if I had any active wants/warrents/pending cases/history.
Most places (medium/high security) I had a constant escort, was run through a metal detector, and all my tools (including nuts and bolts) were inventoried, and needed to be accouted for on exit. No watches, no jewelery, no wallet.
At a few places (minimum security) I was allowed to come and go as I pleased, and could bring in any tools I needed/wanted (My leatherman is pretty much my “do all” tool).
I’m glad I got to visit as a worker a few times, but I’m glad that I don’t have to visit regularly, nor spend time as an inmate!
-Butler
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### Author:  [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)
#### Post date: [May 4, 2005, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elfbabe-goes-to-prison/302096/63 "2005-05-04T20:30:58Z")
You guys made threadspotting!
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### Author:  [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)
#### Post date: [May 4, 2005, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elfbabe-goes-to-prison/302096/64 "2005-05-04T20:49:28Z")
An Aussie prison story.
Near where I live is a minimum security prison that has its own farmland. I went there to visit when they had an open day many years ago and it looked like serving time there was no harder than being in the Army - better really because it was all single rooms. If you went to the pub nearby you could often bump into prisoners who had granted themselves a leave pass for a few hours. I discovered that the prison sold bags of their fresh organic vegetables really cheap and started picking up a bag every couple of weeks.
The government for some reason decided to make the prison a women’s prison and after they did the bags of vegetables changed, they no longer contained potatoes or onions or carrots or any kind of root crop. They just contained bulky easy harvest vegetables. On asking the guys at the prison why this was they said that the women didn’t like to get their hands dirty and although they would sow the crops they would not dig them up.
It seemed really Australian to me that you could be in prison yet still tell the authorities what you were willing to do.
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### Author:  [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)
#### Post date: [May 4, 2005, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elfbabe-goes-to-prison/302096/65 "2005-05-04T21:20:06Z")
> [@](#):
>
> There were the usual hoots and hollers associated with seeing OMG WOMEN!!!
Nah, don’t be so modest. It was just because you’re a total babe 🙂
Quoth **Keapon Laffin** :
> [@](#):
>
> I was actually expecting to find out that **elfbabe** was arrested and thrown into a cell, and how, using nothing more than a hairpin, a piece of string and her charms, she managed to escape from a maximum security prison…
No, no, no… Don’t you know anything? She sang a song to make her hair grow long, and wove a black cloak out of some of it. She used the rest to make a rope, and brushed the edges of the cloak against her guards to send them into a deep sleep. Then, with the cloak wrapped around her, it was so dark she couldn’t be seen, and she escaped out the window using the rope and went off to find her love.
Sheesh, I though everyone knew about that!
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### Author:  [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)
#### Post date: [May 4, 2005, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elfbabe-goes-to-prison/302096/66 "2005-05-04T22:15:52Z")
> [@elfbabe](#):
>
> Sorry **Al** , but we’re up in Wisconsin, and those two days out of the year are two days chosen by the prison, not by **Qadgop**.
>
> Plus, we’re not anywhere NEAR exhausing the pool of inquisitive friends and family members.
What **elfbabe** said. The event occurs annually, on one weekend. This is the 2nd year we did it. I only take people in on the Friday night tour, because I really don’t want to schlep all the way to work on Saturday, my day off, to lead a tour on the second day.
And my list is long of people who want tours. Of course, I get to be capricious and arbitrary, and choose only those who manage to please me!
The background check consists of searching the Wisconsin criminal data base to make sure a visitor is not currently in prison someplace else in Wisconsin, or on parole or probation.
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### Author:  [@elfbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfbabe)
#### Post date: [May 4, 2005, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elfbabe-goes-to-prison/302096/67 "2005-05-04T23:03:40Z")
> [@Chronos](#):
>
> She sang a song to make her hair grow long, and wove a black cloak out of some of it. She used the rest to make a rope, and brushed the edges of the cloak against her guards to send them into a deep sleep. Then, with the cloak wrapped around her, it was so dark she couldn’t be seen, and she escaped out the window using the rope and went off to find her love.
Hey, I don’t need to sing any songs for THAT. And my love’s right over there, with my laptop! Although he probably could vouch for the sleep-inducing powers of my hair, so you got that part right.
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### Author:  [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)
#### Post date: [May 4, 2005, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elfbabe-goes-to-prison/302096/68 "2005-05-04T23:56:51Z")
[hijack]
> [@Cliffy](#):
>
> My American History teacher told a story about how he’d taken students on a field trip to Mansfield State Pen back in the '70’s. (It’s where they filmed The Shawshank Redemption.) Six months later he was on vacation with his family and they were in the nieghborhood so he figured he’d drive by and do another tour. Of course, this time they weren’t expecting him and he turned the car around when he noticed all the snipers trained on him.
>
> \
>
> –Cliffy
I grew up in that town. I didn’t live there when they filmed the movie, so when it came out, I spent two hours peering at the background, saying to myself, “Man. That looks familiar.” 'Cause for an entire summer, I commuted past that prison at least twice a day. I made my friends stay to the end of the credits to confirm that, yes indeed, the vast majority of that movie was filmed in my hometown.
That is all.
[/hijack]
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### Author:  [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)
#### Post date: [May 5, 2005, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elfbabe-goes-to-prison/302096/69 "2005-05-05T00:04:25Z")
> [@Chronos](#):
>
> No, no, no… Don’t you know anything? She sang a song to make her hair grow long, and wove a black cloak out of some of it. She used the rest to make a rope, and brushed the edges of the cloak against her guards to send them into a deep sleep. Then, with the cloak wrapped around her, it was so dark she couldn’t be seen, and she escaped out the window using the rope and went off to find her love.
>
> Sheesh, I though everyone knew about that!
Sure, but that wouldn’t be called _ **elfbabe** goes to prison_. That would be _ **elfbabe** ’s routine Saturday afternoon: Same ol’, same ol’._
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### Author:  [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)
#### Post date: [May 5, 2005, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elfbabe-goes-to-prison/302096/70 "2005-05-05T05:40:20Z")
> [@Qadgop the Mercotan](#):
>
> And my list is long of people who want tours. Of course, I get to be capricious and arbitrary, and choose only those who manage to please me!
::Allan Smithee frantically begins calling Kraft Foods Ltd, Australia to discuss shipping arangements.::
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### Author:  [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)
#### Post date: [May 5, 2005, 8:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elfbabe-goes-to-prison/302096/71 "2005-05-05T08:25:03Z")
> [@Alan Smithee](#):
>
> Where’s your prison again?
Am I the only one who gets tiny shivers at the thought of _ **Qadgop’s Prison** _?
I am?
OK. Nevermind.
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### Author:  [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)
#### Post date: [May 5, 2005, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elfbabe-goes-to-prison/302096/72 "2005-05-05T12:21:14Z")
> [@Qadgop the Mercotan](#):
>
> Two days out of the year, I can take 6 guests at a time in with me, for about 2 and a half hours maximum. You have to be able to pass a background check first, make sure you’re carrying no cell phones, pagers, knives, guns, drugs, etc. Have a photo ID ready. Empty your pockets for inspection. No purses. Then pass thru the metal detector. If you’re wearing an underwire bra you’ll be asked to take it off and go thru the metal detector again.
>
> Finally, you’ll be allowed to pass into the inside with me as your guide, and go to pre-selected areas. You’ll only see inmates who want to be seen, and not much of them. But you will get an up close and personal feel for “life on the inside” and see typical cells and cell blocks, along with seeing the prisoner transfer bus. Along with the cute little bus toilet seat. Tour the kitchen which makes over 7000 meals a day (inmates and staff), see the prison law library and the medical unit, including _my office_! And the gym! Eat cookies and drink tart lemonade in the group room. Marvel at the staff smoking lounge (tobacco is contraband for inmates).
>
> Then, when I’m ready to leave, best be ready to go with me, or you _might not get out_! :eek:
That’s _exactly_ how I’ve always envisioned the SDMB Moderator Room!
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### Author:  [@elfbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfbabe)
#### Post date: [May 5, 2005, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elfbabe-goes-to-prison/302096/73 "2005-05-05T14:51:09Z")
> [@Astroboy14](#):
>
> Am I the only one who gets tiny shivers at the thought of _ **Qadgop’s Prison** _?
>
> I am?
>
> OK. Nevermind.
:dubious:
Are these sexy-shivers or scared-shivers?
Because **Qadgop** isn’t THAT kind of prison doctor, and it’s not THAT kind of prison. Hem hem. :o
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### Author:  [@ambushed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ambushed)
#### Post date: [May 6, 2005, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elfbabe-goes-to-prison/302096/74 "2005-05-06T02:01:48Z")
Can anyone please explain what is supposed to be funny about “Mercotan, let us out, man!” Am I _that_ humor-impaired or is it some kind of inside joke or what?
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### Author:  [@elfbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfbabe)
#### Post date: [May 6, 2005, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elfbabe-goes-to-prison/302096/75 "2005-05-06T02:47:17Z")
**Ambushed** - to me, it was funny because he spent so much energy to get through a request that was both really mundane and obviously impossible for **Qad** to fulfill.
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### Author:  [@ambushed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ambushed)
#### Post date: [May 6, 2005, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elfbabe-goes-to-prison/302096/76 "2005-05-06T02:57:23Z")
Okay, I’ll buy that. I didn’t really want to piss on your parade anyway. Thanks.
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### Author:  [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)
#### Post date: [May 6, 2005, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elfbabe-goes-to-prison/302096/77 "2005-05-06T03:04:50Z")
> [@Qadgop the Mercotan](#):
>
> Noone’s admitting to being the shouter yet, so all 104 of them are getting their meds adjusted!! :eek:
Whoot! Happy Drugs for everyone! 😃
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