# Elton John annoys the fuck out of me **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 19, 2002, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elton-john-annoys-the-fuck-out-of-me/104503 "2002-04-19T12:52:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Racer1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ee59a6/32.png) [@Racer1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Racer1)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2002, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elton-john-annoys-the-fuck-out-of-me/104503/21 "2002-04-19T17:10:04Z")
Dear God, what have I begun?!? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![pbrtallboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f475e1/32.png) [@pbrtallboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbrtallboy)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2002, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elton-john-annoys-the-fuck-out-of-me/104503/22 "2002-04-19T17:18:27Z")
Russell Crowe annoys the shit out of me – rant about him next, please. Oh, and Bono. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2002, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elton-john-annoys-the-fuck-out-of-me/104503/23 "2002-04-19T18:36:59Z")
When you walk through a storm, hold your head up high, and don’t be afraid of the dark… ::: runs away, ducking rotten tomatoes ::: ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2002, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elton-john-annoys-the-fuck-out-of-me/104503/24 "2002-04-19T18:50:23Z")
Uuuuuuooooooooo Tonight Oooooohhhhhhhhh its right Tonight is right for love Love Gravy! * * * “I’d gladly pay $50 for one!” ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2002, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elton-john-annoys-the-fuck-out-of-me/104503/25 "2002-04-19T18:51:41Z")
Hey, there’s always Carrot Top. And I don’t find Steve Harvey to be even remotely funny. Esprix ---
**Author:** ![tevya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4491bb/32.png) [@tevya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tevya)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2002, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elton-john-annoys-the-fuck-out-of-me/104503/26 "2002-04-19T18:58:24Z")
I second the Russell Crowe nomination. He annoys me simply by existing. ---
**Author:** ![Racer1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ee59a6/32.png) [@Racer1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Racer1)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2002, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elton-john-annoys-the-fuck-out-of-me/104503/27 "2002-04-19T19:27:48Z")
Well I don’t know much about Russell Crowe, but I’m always eager to please so I’ll do my best… “You know who else I hate? Russell Crowe, the Goddamn, inbred, Tv producer hitting, gladiating, toenail clipping! I’ll give him a bloody acceptance speech poem! Bastard!” Any good? Sorry **Esprix** , I have no idea who Carrot top or Steve Harvey are, so the best I can do is stress that they’re both clearly assholes. As for the singing… anymore of that and I’ll start on my rendition of the Spice Girls greatest hits! Consider yourselves warned! ---
**Author:** ![Du\_Hast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f0a364/32.png) [@Du\_Hast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Du_Hast)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2002, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elton-john-annoys-the-fuck-out-of-me/104503/28 "2002-04-19T19:47:20Z")
I second the Leo DiCrapio nomination. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2002, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elton-john-annoys-the-fuck-out-of-me/104503/29 "2002-04-19T20:11:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Homebrew \* > \*\*I wasn’t truly offended, **Racer1**. This being the Pit, you needed at least one flame against the OP. Only sycophants had responded, so I supplied the necessary flame. \*\* Hey! I am SO not a sycophant! I’m, like, the anti-sycophant. So there. phtthbbbbbbbtttttt ---
**Author:** ![pbrtallboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f475e1/32.png) [@pbrtallboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbrtallboy)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2002, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elton-john-annoys-the-fuck-out-of-me/104503/30 "2002-04-19T20:13:13Z")
re: the Spice Girls greatest hits…what’s a “zigazigah” and why do they really, really, really, really want one? ---
**Author:** ![dwc1970](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a183cd/32.png) [@dwc1970](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwc1970)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2002, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elton-john-annoys-the-fuck-out-of-me/104503/31 "2002-04-19T20:26:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Racer1 \* > \*\*Quick, can someone please suggest a different annoying celebrity for me to pick on? \*\* How do you feel about Michael Jackson? I can’t stand that asswipe. I’ve hated him ever since he really made it big with _Thriller_. I’ve been hoping (in vain, as it’s turned out so far) ever since that his career would take a nosedive and he’d fade into oblivion. Hasn’ t happened yet. No matter how weird he gets, no matter what color he decides to make his skin, no matter which age or gender he chooses to satisfy his prurient interests, no matter how much his music sucks, he just can’t seem to commit career suicide. ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2002, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elton-john-annoys-the-fuck-out-of-me/104503/32 "2002-04-19T20:49:11Z")
Mom’s pudding bowl. Now _THAT’s_ humor. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Billy\_Baroo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/76d3ee/32.png) [@Billy\_Baroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billy_Baroo)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2002, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elton-john-annoys-the-fuck-out-of-me/104503/33 "2002-04-19T20:55:30Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by dwc1970 about the King of Pop_ > \*\*no matter how much his music sucks, he just can’t seem to commit career suicide. \*\* I was getting upset about that comment until I noticed you’re from Idaho. Communique from the 21st century: we’re pissed about boy bands these days. MJ songs are magical; they make us caper and dance like chimps. Not like Michael, of course, cause no one dances like Michael. **Racer1,** though, dances to Donna Summer songs, for the most part. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2002, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elton-john-annoys-the-fuck-out-of-me/104503/34 "2002-04-19T21:54:53Z")
Hi. My name is Lib, and I like Elton John. I like him despite that he so often speaks Fischeresquely, with a mouth full of his own foot. I like him no matter that he spends money like Sharon Osbourne. I like him even with his fake hair, ugly mug, and stubby little fingers. I like him because of his music; or more to the point, because of his taste in music. Granted, until recently, he has not produced as much high quality music as he did in the 70s. But to summarily discard that era would be throwing out the baby with the bathwater. If he is anything at all along those lines, then he is to be pitied, like the Fat Elvis, who was a pathetic shell of the Early Elvis. There’s too much good stuff — and I mean really really good stuff — from Elton John (and Bernie) just to go, “He buys too many flowers and he has a bad hairdo. Let’s crucify him!” From my Elton collection, I can hear whatever my mood desires, from classical masterpieces like _Sixty Years On_ to haunting fantasia like _Valerie_. From minuets like _I Need You To Turn To_ to gutter rock like _Saturday Night’s Alright For Fighting_. From harmonic minor dirges like _Funeral for a Friend_ to virtuoso piano concertos like _Ticking_. From heart wrenching ballads like _Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters_ to naive love songs like _Your Song_. From raucous ragtime like _I Think I’m Gonna Kill Myself_ to deeply stirring introspections like _All the Nasties_. From riverboat show tunes like _Dixie Lily_ to moody meditations like _Madman Across the Water_. From technically interesting chromatics like _I’ve Seen the Saucers_ to passionate social statements like _Burn Down the Mission_. From Wagnerian soulfulness like _Levon_ to anxiety ridden angst like _All the Young Girls Love Alice_. From startling tributes like _Empty Garden_ to spirited gospel music like _Salvation_. From fun western ditties like _A Texan Love Song_ to music with magnum opus greatness like _Episode at Heinton_. From hand-holding songs like _Tiny Dancer_ to scruffy funk like _Honkey Cat_. The wailing organ in _Mellow_. The surprising modulations in _Where to Now St. Peter?_. The chilling falsetto in _Rocket Man_. The masterfully expert keyboarding in _Talking Old Soldiers_. The perfect blending of music and lyric in _Greatest Discovery_. The incredibly lusty chord play in _Amoreena_. The authentic feel in _Country Comfort_. The rolling bass rift in _Techer I Need You_. The unusually evocative phrasing in _Come Down in Time_. The odd time signature in _Holiday Inn_. And a whole lot more. That’s all I can think of off the top of my head. I’m going to put on some Elton right now and have a listen. And I think I’ll start with _We All Fall in Love Sometimes_. You can do as you please, but I’m glad I like Elton John. ---
**Author:** ![Racer1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ee59a6/32.png) [@Racer1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Racer1)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2002, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elton-john-annoys-the-fuck-out-of-me/104503/35 "2002-04-19T23:24:56Z")
Good call on Michael Jackson **dwc1970** , he is well worthy of a rant too! He does deserve credit for the amount of jokes he has inspired since the kiddie “unpleasantness” though 😉 Good for you **Lib** , and nice to meet you. Elton John has done a few songs I do like quite a lot, and I only mean to crucify him in a flippant kind of way (not to retract the fact that he does really annoy me with what he comes out with sometimes). Basically, Elton is not for me, but if you can take pleasure from his stuff (and that goes for anyone and any artist) then I’m pleased. **Billy Baroo** , I am indeed particial to some Donna Summer. Now who the hell is she again? **pbrtallboy** , I figure they want some talent 😉 Finally, don’t worry **featherlou** , you’re a bastard like the rest of us 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Racer1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ee59a6/32.png) [@Racer1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Racer1)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2002, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elton-john-annoys-the-fuck-out-of-me/104503/36 "2002-04-20T00:09:33Z")
Um… partial even. I dunno what I was trying to write there 🙂 Can someone else take on the Leo DiCaprio rant? I think I broke my brain. ---
**Author:** ![Myrnalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@Myrnalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrnalene)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2002, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elton-john-annoys-the-fuck-out-of-me/104503/37 "2002-04-20T03:04:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Racer1 \* > \*\*Sorry **Esprix** , I have no idea who Carrot top or Steve Harvey are, so the best I can do is stress that they’re both clearly assholes. \*\* You have no idea who _Carrot Top_ is? Oh, what sweet relief it would be to have your life, just for a moment. ---
**Author:** ![dwc1970](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a183cd/32.png) [@dwc1970](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwc1970)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2002, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elton-john-annoys-the-fuck-out-of-me/104503/38 "2002-04-20T03:12:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Billy Baroo \* > \*\* > > I was getting upset about that comment until I noticed you’re from Idaho. Communique from the 21st century: we’re pissed about boy bands these days. MJ songs are magical; they make us caper and dance like chimps. Not like Michael, of course, cause no one dances like Michael. > \*\* I hate the boy bands, too. I just hope they aren’t going to be around as long as Mr. Jackson has been (career-wise, of course). Just as **Racer1** ranted about how Elton John is always in the media and one can’t ignore his presence no matter how much someone might hate him, the same seems to hold true for MJ. I wish that I didn’t know the things that I do know about MJ just through passing mention in the media of the things he has done. That is the primary basis of my rant, that MJ is un-ignorable. I know I said his music sucks and I won’t recant that statement as it’s just how I personally feel about his music, that’s all. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2002, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elton-john-annoys-the-fuck-out-of-me/104503/39 "2002-04-20T04:28:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Racer1 \* > \*\*\ > > Finally, don’t worry **featherlou** , you’re a bastard like the rest of us 😃 \*\* Thank you. Like pulling frinkin’ teeth to get some proper recognition around here. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2002, 10:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elton-john-annoys-the-fuck-out-of-me/104503/40 "2002-04-20T10:10:21Z")
> [@](#): > > Elton John has done a few songs I do like quite a lot… What are they, and what do you like about them? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elton-john-annoys-the-fuck-out-of-me/104503.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elton-john-annoys-the-fuck-out-of-me/104503.md?page=3)