# Elvis is talking through my penis again.... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 1, 2001, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elvis-is-talking-through-my-penis-again/70827 "2001-07-01T08:11:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Heath\_Doolin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Heath\_Doolin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heath_Doolin)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2001, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elvis-is-talking-through-my-penis-again/70827/1 "2001-07-01T08:11:54Z")
Ever had one of those lines you considered a ‘tension breaker’? A line to totally either shut up ppl or to make them laugh. That above is one of my faves… A few more… “Hey be happy you can stand up and say you have never been caught driving without pants…” “My head is 50% great ideas and witty reparte, 15% daily thoughts, and the rest smooth creamy butterscotch pudding.” Post your own for my amusement. Those that confuse or annoy me shall have their posters taken away and summerily boiled. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2001, 8:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elvis-is-talking-through-my-penis-again/70827/2 "2001-07-01T08:18:37Z")
"Two seagulls were flying over St. Louis, and then one of them looks down and says, “Look, Charles, Chicago!’” Works almost every time. For the rare occasions that it doesn’t, I just whip out a Simpsons quote, Monty Python quote, or start singing _Pink Elephants On Parade_. [sub]Hippity-hoppity…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Mercutio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/51bf81/32.png) [@Mercutio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mercutio)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2001, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elvis-is-talking-through-my-penis-again/70827/3 "2001-07-01T08:19:03Z")
::blinks:: So, should I assume this **isn’t** the VD thread? ---
**Author:** ![Heath\_Doolin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Heath\_Doolin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heath_Doolin)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2001, 8:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elvis-is-talking-through-my-penis-again/70827/4 "2001-07-01T08:21:12Z")
Nope…just a handy attention getter ---
**Author:** ![amati](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@amati](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amati)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2001, 9:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elvis-is-talking-through-my-penis-again/70827/5 "2001-07-01T09:45:11Z")
i’ve always liked yelling at the top of my lungs, **I HAVE GREEN SHIT GROWING ON MY BALLS!!**. if that doesn’t get a response, i don’t know what to tell you. ---
**Author:** ![Freyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freyr/32/5763_2.png) [@Freyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freyr)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2001, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elvis-is-talking-through-my-penis-again/70827/6 "2001-07-01T17:09:10Z")
“…meanwhile, back at the ranch, granny and Ellie were beating off the Indians, but they just kept coming and coming!” ---
**Author:** ![Elenfair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cc9497/32.png) [@Elenfair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elenfair)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2001, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elvis-is-talking-through-my-penis-again/70827/7 "2001-07-01T17:52:49Z")
::: looks at Freyr suspiciously ::::: You worry me. “No, officer, I don’t have a criminal record… but they haven’t found the bodies yet.” 😃 Elly (with a \*\* Y \*\* thank gawd. ---
**Author:** ![Ace309](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ace309/32/1050_2.png) [@Ace309](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ace309)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2001, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elvis-is-talking-through-my-penis-again/70827/8 "2001-07-01T23:12:02Z")
In the morning, there’ll be a bill on your desk for the cost of cleaning the Pepsi off my monitor. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2001, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elvis-is-talking-through-my-penis-again/70827/9 "2001-07-01T23:21:01Z")
Heh, I’m always filling in dead spots in conversation. “So the other day I was sitting under a tree, you know, just chilling and thinking about life, when suddenly I realized what it’s all about! But then the tree fell on me, and I forgot.” Or sometimes I’ll just start channeling Kurt Cobain. ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2001, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elvis-is-talking-through-my-penis-again/70827/10 "2001-07-01T23:21:23Z")
When I was younger, it was this: “What are you doing naked with that bowl of Jell-o?!” Now I’m old. And Demure. ---
**Author:** ![GraceTX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c4cdca/32.png) [@GraceTX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GraceTX)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2001, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elvis-is-talking-through-my-penis-again/70827/11 "2001-07-01T23:25:41Z")
Dang! I had a couple of questions for Elvis that I could only ask in private, but I guess I’ll never know the answer now. ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2001, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elvis-is-talking-through-my-penis-again/70827/12 "2001-07-02T02:13:51Z")
\*\* Racinchikki \*\* I do that too…throw in a Nirvana lyric during dead spots. With me and the Girls, every so often if things get too quiet/serious, I’ll say my favorite line from \*\* Pee Wee’s Big Adventure \*\* "I’ll say! I’m going to go start a paper route, RIGHT NOW!’ We also occasionally throw in a random \*\* Jerky Boys \*\* quote like… " Hello. Jack’s Pickles and Penis Pumps!" ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2001, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elvis-is-talking-through-my-penis-again/70827/13 "2001-07-02T04:08:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\*GingerOfTheNorth \*\* > When I was younger, it was this: > “What are you doing naked with that bowl of Jell-o?!” > Now I’m old. And Demure. Damn, that’s too bad. [sub]throws away the jello.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2001, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elvis-is-talking-through-my-penis-again/70827/14 "2001-07-02T04:15:15Z")
“…Seriously! Studies have shown that goats actually like it!” And if someone askes further, I reply “grass” ---
**Author:** ![ThisYearsGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@ThisYearsGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThisYearsGirl)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2001, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elvis-is-talking-through-my-penis-again/70827/15 "2001-07-02T04:40:14Z")
A friend of mine has a habit of saying “tension breakers” like “My mother died three years ago” just to make situations even more awkward. ---
**Author:** ![saepiroth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5ac83/32.png) [@saepiroth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saepiroth)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2001, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elvis-is-talking-through-my-penis-again/70827/16 "2001-07-02T05:44:26Z")
the best one involes my favorite quote: “Remember! give a man a fire, he’s warm for a night; set a man on fire, and he’s warm for the rest of his life!” it is also good for determining possible friend material, i’ve found. just say it, and if they laugh, then whoever it is could become a friend. or they could just be a homicidal maniac… [sub]but a FRENDLY homicidal maniac![/sub] ---
**Author:** ![kniz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c37758/32.png) [@kniz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kniz)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2001, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elvis-is-talking-through-my-penis-again/70827/17 "2001-07-02T05:50:08Z")
😃 ---
**Author:** ![jaimest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/48db29/32.png) [@jaimest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jaimest)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2001, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elvis-is-talking-through-my-penis-again/70827/18 "2001-07-02T05:53:28Z")
"Elvis is talking through my penis again… " If John Edwards was smart he’d use that line to promote his dumbass “Crossing Over” show. ---
**Author:** ![JonScribe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/3be4f8/32.png) [@JonScribe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JonScribe)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2001, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elvis-is-talking-through-my-penis-again/70827/19 "2001-07-02T06:12:37Z")
Not sure this really qualifies, but at the end of every movie my great-grandmother saw, she would say, “And then, the cows got out.” Especially effective after a dramatic flick. Bless her non-sequitur-laden, Scandinavian humor. ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2001, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elvis-is-talking-through-my-penis-again/70827/20 "2001-07-02T06:42:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by thinksnow \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*\*GingerOfTheNorth \*\* > > When I was younger, it was this: > > “What are you doing naked with that bowl of Jell-o?!” > > Now I’m old. And Demure. > > Damn, that’s too bad. [sub]throws away the jello.[/sub] \*\* **NEVER** throw away Jell-o. Even if I’m old and demure and don’t _say_ that anymore… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/elvis-is-talking-through-my-penis-again/70827.md?page=2)