# email spam, aka Bill Gates wants to give you money

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/email-spam-aka-bill-gates-wants-to-give-you-money/2614>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [October 19, 1999, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/email-spam-aka-bill-gates-wants-to-give-you-money/2614 "1999-10-19T19:27:00Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 2\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![Konrad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f475e1/32.png) [@Konrad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Konrad)\
**Post date:** [October 21, 1999, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/email-spam-aka-bill-gates-wants-to-give-you-money/2614/21 "1999-10-21T01:53:00Z")

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When people forward junk I send them this.

"This letter was written in Dryroot, Texas.

It will bring you good luck if you pass it on to everyone you know. Honest!  
Don’t send me money - that’s my other scam, this one’s for free.

In 1978 it was passed to Ellis Wilson who immediately got a hard-on. Sick  
Bitch. She never passed it on; I found out and went round her place and blew  
her away with my magnum. Next I passed it on to the three Wayne brothers in  
Mark 4 Zephyr, Illinois. They never passed it on either, so I ran them down  
outside a picture theatre after “Staying Alive” in 1981. How they came to  
be watching it 2 years before it’s release date has me buggered too, but  
I killed them anyway. Petrice Washington of Penis-Envy, Montana was next  
to get the letter but she couldn’t read. Didn’t matter tho, I caved her  
head in with a house-brick one night while she was watching “Studs”, which  
is reason enough in itself for getting your head bashed in. Next in line  
for the letter was Roy Bladder of Date-Farmer, Ohio he gave it to his mother,  
but she burnt it so I gave them both a cement enema before pushing them off  
the Empire State building in '91. He died happy tho, the bastard! After  
him came Sharon Ellis-Winters of Brown-Tongue, Texas and Dave Smith of  
Puckered-Anus, Mississipi or however you spell that bloody place, and they  
did bugger all with it, but admittedly, I did kill them with an electric  
toothbrush (with hammer action) 5 minutes after they received it. Sharon  
hadn’t even opened the envelope either. Talk about laugh! After them was  
Alice CD-Player and Pete Wall-Calendar both of BleedingPrivates, Indiana  
who met at the bar where I hang out, but the selfish bastards stacked their  
car into a school bus before I could get to them.

Anyway, next in the line is you {XXXXXX}.

And I’ve just bought a shiny new chainsaw.

I don’t give a shit whether you pass the message on or not any more."

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\
**Post date:** [October 21, 1999, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/email-spam-aka-bill-gates-wants-to-give-you-money/2614/22 "1999-10-21T04:38:00Z")

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Ummm . . . ok. Got a hangup about place names?

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