# Email to Jesus - 1 question only please **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [October 30, 2001, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/email-to-jesus-1-question-only-please/90590 "2001-10-30T20:12:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2001, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/email-to-jesus-1-question-only-please/90590/21 "2001-10-30T23:26:15Z")
Oh, I thought we might be up for one question **each** , darnit. Yeah, I’d go along with **Lib** on the drawing on the ground thing, or maybe “just clear up the original sin and faith/works thing for us, would you?” ---
**Author:** ![MarcAnthony7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@MarcAnthony7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MarcAnthony7)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2001, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/email-to-jesus-1-question-only-please/90590/22 "2001-10-30T23:28:57Z")
Here’s how the scenario would probably play out: A withered Pope is slowly nodding off, slumped over in his Papal Barca-Lounger before an audience of millions of faithful. Suddenly, a halo of light hovers over the Pontiff; he awakens, eyes wide open. He listens to a voice only he can hear…he nods…nods again…and gets up. He walks with the vigor of a twenty-year-old to the Holy Microphone. He looks at the audience and they quietly murmer. He says, "Our Lord Jesus Christ has answered your question, and now I relay the message to you, the World. Our Savior said to me : ‘MarcAnthony7…Your keys are behind the sofa.’ ---
**Author:** ![Dryga\_Yes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/838e76/32.png) [@Dryga\_Yes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dryga_Yes)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2001, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/email-to-jesus-1-question-only-please/90590/23 "2001-10-30T23:43:48Z")
If you knew before of the wrongdoings that would spring out of christianity, what would you have done differently? ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2001, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/email-to-jesus-1-question-only-please/90590/24 "2001-10-31T00:53:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by scotth \* > \*\*Why should we believe any answer you give us? > > If he could answer that question in a way EVERYBODY could understand and believe, the rest kind of falls into place. \*\* i read this far and got to this question and decided i need read no further. bravo! this pretty much covers it for me. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2001, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/email-to-jesus-1-question-only-please/90590/25 "2001-10-31T01:43:44Z")
Hi! I send this document in order to have your advice… ::d&r:: ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2001, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/email-to-jesus-1-question-only-please/90590/26 "2001-10-31T01:43:46Z")
“Why am I not getting my period?” ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2001, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/email-to-jesus-1-question-only-please/90590/27 "2001-10-31T01:49:55Z")
justinh wrote, in the OP: > [@](#): > > a vote will determine what question is answered. The one question that gets asked of Jesus is going to be determined by **popular vote?!** Oh, brother. In that case, it’ll probably end up being “Is Buffy really a vampire now?”. ---
**Author:** ![scotth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@scotth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scotth)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2001, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/email-to-jesus-1-question-only-please/90590/28 "2001-10-31T01:52:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by gatopescado \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by scotth \* > > \*\*Why should we believe any answer you give us? > > > > If he could answer that question in a way EVERYBODY could understand and believe, the rest kind of falls into place. \*\* > > i read this far and got to this question and decided i need read no further. bravo! this pretty much covers it for me. \*\* Thanks! And now I know that at least one person understood the implications of the question and I wasn’t _just_ being a smart ass. ---
**Author:** ![scotth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@scotth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scotth)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2001, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/email-to-jesus-1-question-only-please/90590/29 "2001-10-31T01:54:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tracer \* > \*\*justinh wrote, in the OP: > > > [@](#): > > > > a vote will determine what question is answered. > > The one question that gets asked of Jesus is going to be determined by **popular vote?!** > > Oh, brother. > > In that case, it’ll probably end up being “Is Buffy really a vampire now?”. \*\* Classic, this one definitely goes in the classic file. ---
**Author:** ![heresiarch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/278dde/32.png) [@heresiarch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/heresiarch)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2001, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/email-to-jesus-1-question-only-please/90590/30 "2001-10-31T01:56:03Z")
I don’t really have a question, but when you send the email could you add, “P.S. The Teeming Millions say ‘Thanks for Google!’” ---
**Author:** ![TheeGrumpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/779978/32.png) [@TheeGrumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheeGrumpy)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2001, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/email-to-jesus-1-question-only-please/90590/31 "2001-10-31T02:15:10Z")
“What number am I thinking of right now?” ---
**Author:** ![SenorBeef](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senorbeef/32/2220_2.png) [@SenorBeef](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SenorBeef)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2001, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/email-to-jesus-1-question-only-please/90590/32 "2001-10-31T02:23:27Z")
Ask him to ask Thomas Jefferson and the whole crew what the second amendment really meant, once and for all. I want my machine gun, damn it. ---
**Author:** ![whistlepig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/73ab20/32.png) [@whistlepig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whistlepig)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2001, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/email-to-jesus-1-question-only-please/90590/33 "2001-10-31T02:24:37Z")
So if you are a cooking shrimp for 100 and the recipe calls for “one handful of salt”, does that hurt? How’s Sam Kinison doing? ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2001, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/email-to-jesus-1-question-only-please/90590/34 "2001-10-31T02:24:40Z")
If I could ask 3 questions, they would be: “What is?” “Why is it?” “What should we do about it?” (That’s pretty much my troubleshooting guide for everything, including life. ;)) I suppose if I had to choose just _one_ question, it would be the third of the above questions. ---
**Author:** ![ITR\_champion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c67d28/32.png) [@ITR\_champion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ITR_champion)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2001, 8:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/email-to-jesus-1-question-only-please/90590/35 "2001-10-31T08:35:11Z")
“Can we be expecting those gigantic, horse-shaped locusts with scorpion stings (Revelations 9:7) to show up anytime soon?” ---
**Author:** ![Philosophocles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b38774/32.png) [@Philosophocles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philosophocles)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2001, 8:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/email-to-jesus-1-question-only-please/90590/36 "2001-10-31T08:52:36Z")
What’s your favorite Jesus band? Or if he doesn’t want to answer that one…What do you think of theodicy? ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2001, 9:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/email-to-jesus-1-question-only-please/90590/37 "2001-10-31T09:11:55Z")
Actually, I think I’d ask “Why don’t you impress **Lolo**?” ---
**Author:** ![flodnak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/838e76/32.png) [@flodnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flodnak)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2001, 9:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/email-to-jesus-1-question-only-please/90590/38 "2001-10-31T09:13:47Z")
"You know that walking on water trick you did? Does it still work, y’know, with the holes in your feet and all…?" 😃 ---
**Author:** ![justinh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc29f/32.png) [@justinh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/justinh)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2001, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/email-to-jesus-1-question-only-please/90590/39 "2001-10-31T13:40:56Z")
So I gather that the teaming millions could not come up with a question that would change their world. This question and answer (coming from the pope) would only impress true believers. Who else is going to believe some old moldy guy in Italy? Jesus was once asked “of all the laws, which is the most important?”. He said “love your brothers and sisters as you would love me”. Now today if that was the question and the pope gave that answer then it wouldn’t change a thing for any nonbelievers. Thats what this is about. Not some miracle to convert or convince the world. Just an answer to the believers who need answers at this time in history. everybody else can just go to …(sorry that slipped, I am still working on my weaknesses) ---
**Author:** ![scotth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9e5f3/32.png) [@scotth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scotth)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2001, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/email-to-jesus-1-question-only-please/90590/40 "2001-10-31T15:15:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by justinh \* > \*\*So I gather that the teaming millions could not come up with a question that would change their world. This question and answer (coming from the pope) would only impress true believers. Who else is going to believe some old moldy guy in Italy? > > Jesus was once asked “of all the laws, which is the most important?”. He said “love your brothers and sisters as you would love me”. Now today if that was the question and the pope gave that answer then it wouldn’t change a thing for any nonbelievers. > > Thats what this is about. Not some miracle to convert or convince the world. Just an answer to the believers who need answers at this time in history. > > everybody else can just go to …(sorry that slipped, I am still working on my weaknesses) \*\* I guess you missed or didn’t understand my question then: Why should we believe any answer you give us? That was the whole point of it. It is a question designed, I thought anyway, that if it was answered in the spirit of the OP, would be the one you could take around the world and get EVERYONE on board with. A question designed to expose his “credentials” to the whole world. It seems to me that getting everyone on the same sheet of music would be much more powerful than instructions to the existing pool of true believers. Its the questions that would get me on board, if properly answered. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/email-to-jesus-1-question-only-please/90590.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/email-to-jesus-1-question-only-please/90590.md?page=3)