# Email to Jesus - 1 question only please **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [October 30, 2001, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/email-to-jesus-1-question-only-please/90590 "2001-10-30T20:12:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![justinh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc29f/32.png) [@justinh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/justinh)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2001, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/email-to-jesus-1-question-only-please/90590/41 "2001-10-31T15:35:41Z")
ok, lets try this. At a christian church on sunday the priest/pastor/… says “the catholic church has contacted all us and told us that Jesus has told the pope that he will answer 1 question. Now we can either ignore this as papal lunacy or we can participate. If the pope is just crazy and having bad dreams then it cant hurt right? and of course we dont know if he would tell us the answer if he did get one. so if you want then email me this week with your question and I will send it to [http://www.pope.com](http://www.pope.com).” so of course you would get your joke questions and lotto questions. but if you believed that Jesus might actually do this then you would start thinking of a question. It would have to be a question that would be useful somehow to you. A question about catholic dogma might be interesting but hardly useful. Hence my question about the suffering in the world. Now this is not the same as a Jesus appearing to the entire world and allowing everyone to ask a question and then, by answering it, converting the world. that would be a different thread (and interesting at that). So this is for the believers even those who have the slightess glimmer of faith but hunger for the light. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2001, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/email-to-jesus-1-question-only-please/90590/42 "2001-10-31T15:46:40Z")
I still want to know what He was writing in the dirt. ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2001, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/email-to-jesus-1-question-only-please/90590/43 "2001-10-31T15:57:50Z")
Hmmm…Jesus has volunteered to answer a question. Well, then he must surely be who he claimed, because, if the stories are to be believed, he died and now he’s answering questions. He, evidently, has come back from the dead and that, at least at face value, lends some credence to the whole original claim. I’d go for the big question: Why do we park in the driveway and drive on the parkway? ---
**Author:** ![Earthworm\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f07891/32.png) [@Earthworm\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earthworm_Jim)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2001, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/email-to-jesus-1-question-only-please/90590/44 "2001-10-31T16:33:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by justinh \* > \*\*He will give the answer to the pope in such a manner that everyone will understand the answer. > > What would you ask? and why? \*\* My question would be “Would you please explain the bible?” Presumably, if the answer is going to be understood by all, any contradictions would be resolved, and the nature of the “all-merciful-and-loving-yet-vengeful-and-scary” God would be explained. ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2001, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/email-to-jesus-1-question-only-please/90590/45 "2001-10-31T16:37:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by justinh \* > **So I gather that the teaming millions could not come up with a question that would change their world.** No question I know of could change the world. A particular answer to any number of questions might. I think a detailed and full answer to the question(s) I provided, by any god, would have great potential to change the world. > [@](#): > > **Thats what this is about. Not some miracle to convert or convince the world. Just an answer to the believers who need answers at this time in history.** If you wanted to have only believers answer the OP, you probably should have noted that in the OP. ---
**Author:** ![dierson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7feea3/32.png) [@dierson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dierson)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2001, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/email-to-jesus-1-question-only-please/90590/46 "2001-10-31T16:51:44Z")
Jesus, should we lay down and die following your example or should we be warlike and all own guns and have hawkish political agendas? ---
**Author:** ![justinh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc29f/32.png) [@justinh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/justinh)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2001, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/email-to-jesus-1-question-only-please/90590/47 "2001-10-31T16:54:58Z")
Plnnr, That is not proof because the non believers would just say that the pope is making this up. Blacknight, who but believers are going to give a damn about what the pope says? Beez… What if he said " the bible is the creation of a group of historical figures attempting to deal with the same issues facing you today. The Old testament is the fables of the Jewish nomads. The new testament is the documentation of the scripture as they remembered it. since it was around 100 years after the fact"? would that change your life? or would you want a point by point explanation of each book/chapter/verse? ---
**Author:** ![dierson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7feea3/32.png) [@dierson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dierson)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2001, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/email-to-jesus-1-question-only-please/90590/48 "2001-10-31T16:55:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Libertarian \* > \*\*I still want to know what He was writing in the dirt. \*\* He was drawing a “happy face”. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2001, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/email-to-jesus-1-question-only-please/90590/49 "2001-10-31T16:57:38Z")
Speaking as a native Chicagoan there is only one proper question: “What the hell do you have against the Cubs, anyhow?” ---
**Author:** ![toadspittle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c0e974/32.png) [@toadspittle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/toadspittle)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2001, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/email-to-jesus-1-question-only-please/90590/50 "2001-10-31T17:03:43Z")
I’m with Beelz: Jesus, please tell us which parts of the Bible are true and which are false. Oh. Except that’s not a question. That’s an order. OK, then: Jesus, will you please tell us which parts of the Bible are true and which are false? Of course, my fear is that his answer will be, “No.” ---
**Author:** ![Earthworm\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f07891/32.png) [@Earthworm\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earthworm_Jim)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2001, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/email-to-jesus-1-question-only-please/90590/51 "2001-10-31T17:14:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by justinh \* > \*\*Beez… > What if he said " the bible is the creation of a group of historical figures attempting to deal with the same issues facing you today. The Old testament is the fables of the Jewish nomads. The new testament is the documentation of the scripture as they remembered it. since it was around 100 years after the fact"? would that change your life? or would you want a point by point explanation of each book/chapter/verse? \*\* Well, we’re presuming Jesus himself is answering these questions, which presumes the existence of Jesus and the fact that he is the Son of God. Those revelations in and of themselves would change my life, being that I consider myself atheist. Ultimately, I’d like each chapter and verse to be explained so that there was no room for “interperetations” such as Westbro Baptist Church, etc. Unless, of course, God supported that sort of thing. ---
**Author:** ![justinh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc29f/32.png) [@justinh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/justinh)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2001, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/email-to-jesus-1-question-only-please/90590/52 "2001-10-31T17:14:20Z")
Toadspittle, maybe “NO” would be the answer you needed. If you understood what he was saying. If you think that his answer is a refusal to answer the question and you ask yourself why and realize his meaning then there would be a value to what he is telling you. ---
**Author:** ![QuasarS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/ccd318/32.png) [@QuasarS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuasarS)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2001, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/email-to-jesus-1-question-only-please/90590/53 "2001-10-31T17:20:53Z")
Here’s my question: what is the difference between the gods of all the religions? OR what is difference between the religions? Please restrict your answer to the major religions of the world for brevity. (But I might also ask something about why the world behaves like a septic tank - where the biggest pieces of sh\*t float to the top… I cant make up my mind.) ---
**Author:** ![Oreo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/c57346/32.png) [@Oreo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oreo)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2001, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/email-to-jesus-1-question-only-please/90590/54 "2001-10-31T17:38:09Z")
Dear Jesus, MANNY PEOPLE ASK ME AND NOW I WONDER… What’s the deal with the whole predestination/free will fiasco? ---
**Author:** ![Sumac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@Sumac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sumac)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2001, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/email-to-jesus-1-question-only-please/90590/55 "2001-10-31T17:39:18Z")
How IS this a debate anyway? Would your email have to be in Aramaic or latin? Since original sin is still clearly not atoned for, I would ask him the following in my email: Yoseph-bar-Joshua, what up? IMHO you are one supremely influential person! I was reading some of the tales of your exploits the other day and found the story of you stealing that ass outside of Jerusalem!!! Remember that??? I was so ROTFLMAO!!! Anyyyway, here’s my question: Why didn’t YOU reproduce and sacrifice YOUR son for us? You must be SUCH a disappointment to your dad. ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2001, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/email-to-jesus-1-question-only-please/90590/56 "2001-10-31T18:37:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by justinh \* > **So I gather that the teaming millions could not come up with a question that would change their world.** The problem is that “changing one’s world” requires _far_ more depth and introspection than can be contained in **one** question-and-answer, which makes the OP moot. Even [George Burns](http://us.imdb.com/Title?0076489) had to answer several dozen questions to prove his divinity. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2001, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/email-to-jesus-1-question-only-please/90590/57 "2001-10-31T18:54:51Z")
Hi, When you turned water into wine, was it a merlot or a zinfadel? ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2001, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/email-to-jesus-1-question-only-please/90590/58 "2001-10-31T18:56:07Z")
Hi, it’s me again. When you did your sermon on the mount, who was your opening act? [sub]I am so going to hell [/sub] ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2001, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/email-to-jesus-1-question-only-please/90590/59 "2001-10-31T21:04:05Z")
> [@](#): > > **Blacknight, > who but believers are going to give a damn about what the pope says?** I dunno, but what does that have to do with anything? The OP specifically said that the answer came from Jesus, so I am answering with that in mind. The OP also said that the answer was for everyone. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2001, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/email-to-jesus-1-question-only-please/90590/60 "2001-10-31T21:46:48Z")
Beelzebubba wrote: > [@](#): > > Well, we’re presuming Jesus himself is answering these questions, which presumes the existence of Jesus and the fact that he is the Son of God. Well … it presumes the former, but not the latter. I mean, even if Jesus were still around, he **could** just be an ordinary run-of-the-mill 2005 year old man. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/email-to-jesus-1-question-only-please/90590.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/email-to-jesus-1-question-only-please/90590.md?page=4)