# Emancipate The Mitochondria

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/emancipate-the-mitochondria/685120>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [April 1, 2014, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/emancipate-the-mitochondria/685120 "2014-04-01T21:05:33Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 5\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\
**Post date:** [April 2, 2014, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/emancipate-the-mitochondria/685120/21 "2014-04-02T20:54:58Z")

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> [@Smeghead](#):
>
> > [@Senegoid](#):
> >
> > Wait until the mitochondria unionize! **Then you’ll be sorry.**
> 
> Actually, being ionized is key to mitochondrial function, seeing as how they’re powered by separation of charge, **so unionizing them would be really bad…**

That’s what I said! 🙂

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**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\
**Post date:** [April 2, 2014, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/emancipate-the-mitochondria/685120/22 "2014-04-02T22:14:04Z")

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I was agreeing with you!

Though my mitochondria think you’re an idiot, for some reason.

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**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\
**Post date:** [April 3, 2014, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/emancipate-the-mitochondria/685120/23 "2014-04-03T00:59:46Z")

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No, no you got it all wrong. Mitochondria prefer slavery, they are happier being kept as slaves. They wouldn’t know what to do as free living organisms.

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**Author:** ![swampspruce](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampspruce/32/261_2.png) [@swampspruce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampspruce)\
**Post date:** [April 3, 2014, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/emancipate-the-mitochondria/685120/24 "2014-04-03T13:58:10Z")

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That’s what all the tyrants say…

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**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\
**Post date:** [April 3, 2014, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/emancipate-the-mitochondria/685120/25 "2014-04-03T14:38:45Z")

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> [@Der\_Trihs](#):
>
> I’m reminded of a short story I read many years ago in which the Second Coming happened, and all the mitochondria were yanked out of people’s bodies and sent to Heaven.

Found it: “Lord of Hosts,” by Connie Willis. Published in Omni Magazine, June 1987. Whole magazine text is available [here,](https://archive.org/stream/omni-magazine-1987-06/OMNI_1987_06_djvu.txt) although it looks like OCR with some errors here and there. Search the page for “lord of hosts,” and you’ll find the start of the story.

Short version: it wasn’t the Second Coming. Instead, two people had died, and as they waited in some sort of limbo, one was quoting bible verses to the other to support his claim that the mitochondria were the ones who would be going to heaven. The story ends with the mitochondria coming out of their bodies to be received in heaven.

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