# Embarrassing kid moments **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 9, 2000, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-kid-moments/28728 "2000-08-09T18:29:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Tracie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/90db22/32.png) [@Tracie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tracie)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2000, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-kid-moments/28728/21 "2000-08-09T22:28:51Z")
> [@](#): > > The first time the child yells out to the restaurant the child should have been admonished (or punished). It is extremely selfish of the parents to allow a 2 year old to dictate the atmosphere of an entire restaurant. And what you would have the parents do? Gag the child? Children are people too. And they sometimes have loud voices. It’s not their fault, they were designed that way. The world around them is fascinating. Everything they discover is exciting for them. They don’t know how to contain their excitement. I agree with Cher, if you can’t handle it, stay home, or better yet, don’t go to “Family Restaurants”. 🙂 Wring, > [@](#): > > HEY SANTA I"M BEIN NAUGHTY That is WAY too funny! ROFL! I have two… one of which is so embarrassing, I’m not sure I can post about it, being sorta new still and all… Here’s the “safer” one: My first child was a wild-child. Always into everything, adventurous, curious, you name it. He was pretty good in public though for the most part. He was outgoing and very friendly to everyone we came across. One time, when he was 3, a bunch of us who posted on a local BBS got together at a Shari’s. I brought my sweetie along. I sat him down next to me with crayons and those kid’s menus they give you. I turned to talk to my friends, when all of a sudden I hear, “HE BIT ME!” I turn in the direction of the angry voice and see this man at the booth across from us looking horrified. He yelled again, “SOME KID JUST BIT ME”. I smiled and thought to myself, “Thank God it wasn’t my child” as I turned to pat my sweet little boy on the head… he wasn’t there. He emerged from under the table of the angry man’s booth, looking apologetic and innocent at the same time. Talk about embarrassing! In front of all my friends too, let alone this poor strange man… ~Tracie ---
**Author:** ![Danalan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/76d3ee/32.png) [@Danalan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danalan)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2000, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-kid-moments/28728/22 "2000-08-09T22:29:38Z")
When my son was young, I frequently carried him around on my shoulders. He loved it. Well, one day, I hoisted him up while in a hardware store. Apparently he didn’t get adjusted correctly, because he yelled out: “Daddy, you’re hurting my penis!” We left, and bought our paint somewhere else. ---
**Author:** ![Beacher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a6a055/32.png) [@Beacher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beacher)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2000, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-kid-moments/28728/23 "2000-08-11T18:52:36Z")
As the starter of this thread, I’m giving Danalan the award for the most embarrasing moment. That was great! - Beacher ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2000, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-kid-moments/28728/24 "2000-08-11T19:32:48Z")
I don’t have kids, but this story is about the child of some family friends we were vacationing with once. We were sitting in the plane awaiting take-off. The 6 year old daughter of our friend got bored quickly and began asking him various little-kid questions–why is the sky blue, etc. Finally, the little girl asks in a voice loud enough for most of the plane passengers to hear– “Daddy, are you a hunka-hunka burnin’love?” ---
**Author:** ![jesuslynch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e99b99/32.png) [@jesuslynch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jesuslynch)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2000, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-kid-moments/28728/25 "2000-08-11T19:35:11Z")
Mommajesus works a little partime job on Saturdays and Sundays so we can have a little pocketchange that’s all hers to go shopping with or whatever so I get to spend those mornings with babyjesus. A few months ago, he got up and told me he had to go to the bathroom. I followed him in and I told him he did good for not wetting his underware when it was obvious that his bladder had been quite full. (He’s about 3 1/2 and been toilet learned for almost a year, but I still like to priase him for doing a good job of holding it in.) Anyway, I told him something like, “You teed big!” The next Monday, mommajesus went to pick him up from daycare and the worker told her that babyjesus had said, “I’ve got a big winky.” When the daycare worker who had told him that, he said, “My daddy.” Yeah, it’s funny. Turd in a punch bowl funny. ---
**Author:** ![Kiki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dc4da7/32.png) [@Kiki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiki)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2000, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-kid-moments/28728/26 "2000-08-11T20:04:07Z")
I have one that I’ve shared before but it’s still funny to me. My daughter will be 3 on the 21st so she’s talking a lot and is very observant. If I say “ow” she asks me, “you got an owie mommy?” over and over until I answer her. She does this with _everything_!! We were walking through Wal-Mart and I let out a fart that no one would have noticed if my daughter hadn’t said, “Did you fart mommy, did you fart? Fart Mommy? Fart.” Finally I said “Yes, Briana, I farted. Now hush!” Lot’s of people heard her I’m sure because you know how a 3 year old’s voice can carry!! ---
**Author:** ![El\_Infidel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/73ab20/32.png) [@El\_Infidel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Infidel)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2000, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-kid-moments/28728/27 "2000-08-11T20:16:15Z")
high larious… haha… in 8th grade, i was called up to the board to do a math problem. everyone kinda resented me to begin with cuz i had the highest grade, whatevah… anywayz, i walk up and the entire class busts out laughing. i figure out there must be something on my back and i started feeling around for a note ‘kick me’ style. kept coming up empty tho. bewildered the teacher (who’s also cracking up) calls me over and takes it off of me, which btw, was so perfectly place i couldn’t find it. anyways, it said “I slept with Alf”. got into a fight later with my best friend in the lunch line, the bastard. unfortunately, he kicked my ass, so i never got to avenge myself. he’s a loser now, if that counts fer anything… ---
**Author:** ![dragonlady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f8ce5/32.png) [@dragonlady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dragonlady)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2000, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-kid-moments/28728/28 "2000-08-11T21:04:57Z")
I’ve got two. I was a single parent and my son had a little trouble distingushing between male and female. He would ask "Does Superman (or whoever) have a penis? (I assume so, one made of steel.) One day in full voice, in the mall he pointed and asked “Mommy, does that man have a penis?” I told him, calmly,“I guess so.” People turned and stared open-mouthed. Shortly after that, a clerk asked me if that was my little boy. I turned around to see his little white butt, as he peed off the parking bumper into the parking lot. One of the neighbors had told him it was ok for boys to pee outside, meaning the olive orchard next door… ---
**Author:** ![RalfCoder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@RalfCoder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RalfCoder)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2000, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-kid-moments/28728/29 "2000-08-11T21:15:03Z")
When Ralf Jr. was in the toilet training stage, I demonstrated how to pee in the toilet for him. A few days later, Missus Coder told me that little Ralf had blurted out somewhere in public that “My peepee is as big as my daddy’s!” ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2000, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-kid-moments/28728/30 "2000-08-11T21:20:45Z")
Our three-year-old daughter is afraid of monsters in her bedroom at night. One of the many weapons we have in our arsenal is the “Monster bell”, a small hand bell that we ring to scare the monsters away. We take our aughter to a celebratory Mass. She is in her best clothes, and surprisingly well behaved. She is being quiet and negligibly fidgety as tyher ass proceeds. We get to the Offeratory and the Church goes quiet as the priest elevates the Host. The altarboy rings the chimes. In the deep silence our daughter says, in hushed tones: “Monster Bell!” It was probably very quiet, but it sounded very loud. We all tried to suppress our laughs and our shock at the same time. A couple of weeks later she does the same thing. ---
**Author:** ![Caricci](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Caricci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caricci)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2002, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-kid-moments/28728/31 "2002-05-14T14:54:25Z")
Oh, there are so many, I don’t know where to start. I suppose the time that my son, aged 2 1/2 at the time, decided to smell my ass at the Gap was pretty embarrassing. I probably should have been embarrassed recently when he commented on the nice bras at Target (cute was his word) and asked me if they were for boobies, but once your ass gets sniffed at the Gap, nothing else is very embarrassing at all. ---
**Author:** ![Tracie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/90db22/32.png) [@Tracie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tracie)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2002, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-kid-moments/28728/32 "2002-05-14T15:22:18Z")
My this is an old thread. I thought it was new till I saw my own post and was confused. Then I saw the date: \*\*08-09-2000 \*\*. Now I get it. ---
**Author:** ![jlzania](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/67e7ee/32.png) [@jlzania](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jlzania)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2002, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-kid-moments/28728/33 "2002-05-14T16:14:55Z")
A dear friend took his 4 year to a baseball game sponsered by the Shriners. He was a divorced father and only saw his son on alternate weekends. Little “Timmy” had to use the restroom and all the stalls were taken so Mike decided to hold him up over the urinal. Timmy’s aim was less than desirable and Mike reached down to help him direct the flow. At that point Timmy announced to the entire restroom: “If you don’t get your hands off my penis, I’m going to tell my mother.” ---
**Author:** ![auntie\_em](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@auntie\_em](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auntie_em)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2002, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-kid-moments/28728/34 "2002-05-14T16:40:21Z")
OK, let me just say that this thread made me choke on one of those Listerine Cool Mint Pocket Pack things… Now _there’s_ some pain. Alas, I do not have kids, but I grew up with a slew of younger (and louder) cousins, so I do have a story to share: I was 14 (you know, that age at which _everything_ is completely and humiliatingly **mortifying** , to the point that you think you’re going to die? I just need you to be in the mind-frame, here. So I’m 14. I’ve just arrived at my Nana’s house in Houston, to spend the summer with her, my grandpa, and some of those aforementioned cousins. I am on my period. **(Warning: Henceforth this post may include TMI.)** Now, being new to this whole “womanhood” game, I didn’t think to carry any supplies ONTO the plane with me (I’d packed it in my checked luggage), so by the time I’d made the flight and corresponding car trips to and from airports, I was, shall we say, experiencing The Great Flood. Upon arriving at Nana’s house, I ran immediately to the bathroom to get things taken care of. There wasn’t too much of a mess, but the tampon was… erm… full to capacity, and so it wasn’t long before the toilet paper in which I wrapped it before tossing it into the garbage was soaked through. So. Into the bathroom (a little later, as we’re all relaxing in front of the TV) goes my younger cousin, Nicole (age 8). Back out she comes, eyes as big as saucers, crying, “Nana! I just looked in the bathroom trash and somebody’s been BLEEDING!” As Nana struggles to her feet, Nicole’s younger brother (age 6)goes flying into the restroom to investigate. Just as Nana is making her way back to the bathroom, the younger brother saunters into the living room, holding my used tampon (which he has unwrapped from the toilet paper) between his thumb and forefinger, and calmly declares, “It doesn’t _smell_ like blood–it smells like mascara.” ---
**Author:** ![Pencepon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ac8455/32.png) [@Pencepon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pencepon)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2002, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-kid-moments/28728/35 "2002-05-14T17:08:25Z")
The 3-year-old daughter of a friend of mine was in the child seat of a shopping cart as my friend was looking for a steak in the meat display at the supermarket. A very large woman was standing next to them, bent over as she looked through the trays of meat. Little daughter _patted the woman on the butt_ and said, “See the nice fat lady, Mommy?” My hometown is small and the local “mall” is sized to match - you can see, and hear, from one end to the other. The place was crowded with Christmas shoppers and my sister was pushing my infant nephew in a stroller and trying to pull my 3-year-old niece (age 3 seems to be prime time for this stuff!) by the hand. Little niece was dragging and lagging and failing to keep up, until she suddenly exclaimed, loudly enough to be heard through the entire mall, “Will you _PLEASE_ let me get my panties OUT OF MY BUTT?” ---
**Author:** ![malaka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@malaka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/malaka)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2002, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-kid-moments/28728/36 "2002-05-14T19:14:12Z")
When I was a wee lad, my mom and I were waiting in the line at the grocery store. Behind us was an african-american man. Without warning, I started pointing at the man and saying, “Bad man! Bad man!”. My mother shushed me and apologized to the man, whose smile had quickly faded. My mother had no idea where I’d ever such a thing! Several weeks later, while watching Sesame Street with me, she saw the David, an african-american, walking down the street, dancing, and saying…“I’m a baaaad man!”. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![pendgwen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3da27b/32.png) [@pendgwen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pendgwen)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2002, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-kid-moments/28728/37 "2002-05-14T20:35:05Z")
Well I don’t have any kids but I can supply a story from my own childhood. This one is a family legend: When was very little my family lived in a Chicago neighborhood where there were not many whites. One day my mother took me with her to the local supermarket where we were the only white people in the store. As we were waiting in the check-out line I piped up in that wonderfully carrying small child voice and asked, “Mommy why are people different colors?” ---
**Author:** ![EchoKitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f4b2a3/32.png) [@EchoKitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EchoKitty)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2002, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-kid-moments/28728/38 "2002-05-14T21:27:33Z")
When my son was 3, he answered a knock at the door and it was the landlord. He then came to the bathroom and threw the door open and said, “Mom, someone’s here”. The door was a straight line view to the bathroom. I was naked. Sigh… ---
**Author:** ![GKW](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d9b06d/32.png) [@GKW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GKW)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2002, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-kid-moments/28728/39 "2002-05-14T22:40:28Z")
One summer during a mini-family reunion my 6-year old niece found a funny hat in the bathroom. We were all enjoying drinks on the back porch when she came prancing out to model my sister’s diaphragm placed jauntily on her head. Mom was not amused! ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2002, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-kid-moments/28728/40 "2002-05-14T23:18:24Z")
I was four. We were stopped for a train. Way, way back then, the drop arms had hanging lights that would swing side-to-side, in addition to the ‘ding…ding…ding…ding…’ bells. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-kid-moments/28728.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-kid-moments/28728.md?page=3)