# Embarrassing Things You Can't Admit IRL **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 12, 1999, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-things-you-cant-admit-irl/9953 "1999-10-12T15:45:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 1999, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-things-you-cant-admit-irl/9953/41 "1999-10-20T14:13:00Z")
Pundit asked: > [@](#): > > Zette, do tell. Is he STILL her boyfriend??? ## Indeed they are still a couple…been together about 4 years! Is that true love or what?? 🙂 Some mornings it just doesn’t seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps. [Zettecity](http://www.angelfire.com/ny3/zettecity/index.html) ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 1999, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-things-you-cant-admit-irl/9953/42 "1999-10-20T14:15:00Z")
Opal, No disrespect, but the guy stated that: a) He was 13. Now I dunno about you, but I sure as hell wasn’t playing doctor with my sister at that age ! I thought this was more usual for, say, 5 to 7 year olds; b) He made an “illconsidered pass” at his sister. Doesn’t sound like a harmless kid’s game to me. Sounds like a dead serious proposal that got rejected. ## But, since we’re all interpreting, let’s just wait what Lumpy has to say. If he ever shows up again, that is… Coldfire * * * “You know how complex women are” - Neil Peart, Rush (1993) ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 1999, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-things-you-cant-admit-irl/9953/43 "1999-10-20T14:29:00Z")
## I’m sure he wins the Purity Score Contest hands down, though… Coldfire * * * “You know how complex women are” - Neil Peart, Rush (1993) ---
**Author:** ![BurnMeUp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@BurnMeUp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BurnMeUp)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 1999, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-things-you-cant-admit-irl/9953/44 "1999-10-20T14:32:00Z")
I don’t know I talked my wife into letting me lick her eyeball this weekend \ * * * You know what Atlas did, with the weight of the world pressing down on his shoulders, his blood running over his chest for his efforts and the world continuing to bear down without concern for his efforts? He shrugged. ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 1999, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-things-you-cant-admit-irl/9953/45 "1999-10-20T18:55:00Z")
Ohmigod I’m actually going to do this. I pick my nose. I pee in the shower. I check the TP. I fart and enjoy the aroma. I’M SUCH A F\*CKIN’ LADY!! * * * Men are from Mars, women are from Venus, dogs are from Pluto. - Anonymous ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 1999, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-things-you-cant-admit-irl/9953/46 "1999-10-20T18:57:00Z")
Oh yeah, and I will poop anywhere and everywhere. I poop almost every time I go to the bathroom - they’re small poops, so I never fear clogging someone’s toilet up. I have no idea why, but I have an irrational fear that someone is listening to me pee and/or poop. I either turn on the vent fan or the water every time. ---
**Author:** ![CanadianSue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@CanadianSue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanadianSue)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 1999, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-things-you-cant-admit-irl/9953/47 "1999-10-20T19:08:00Z")
haha canthearya… you are killing me these past couple of days m’dear * * * We are, each of us angels with only one wing; and we can only fly by embracing one another ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 1999, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-things-you-cant-admit-irl/9953/48 "1999-10-20T19:20:00Z")
Canthearya: I do all of the above as well. Whenever I do something really gross, my husband coos: “Awwwww…that’s my little buttercup! Delicate as a little flower!” very funny… 🙂 * * * Some mornings it just doesn’t seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps. [Zettecity](http://www.angelfire.com/ny3/zettecity/index.html) ---
**Author:** ![Mr\_Thin\_Skin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@Mr\_Thin\_Skin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr_Thin_Skin)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 1999, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-things-you-cant-admit-irl/9953/49 "1999-10-20T19:25:00Z")
I shit in the shower and push it through the drain with my toes. Just kidding. Pee in shower: yes. Inspect do-do: sometimes. Look at toilet paper: how else would you know you’re done. Check for streaking: PRN (as needed) Pick Nose: on rare occasion. Picking your nose causes more nose picking, no? Sniff dirty cloths: no, have maid. Screwed Sister: no. Left shit pyramids on backside of toilet bowl: occasionally. Don’t wipe since about to take shower: no. Double Click “Submit Reply” button: never. ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 1999, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-things-you-cant-admit-irl/9953/50 "1999-10-20T19:26:00Z")
One time, I farted during sex. This was a **long** time ago. About five years ago, I let loose and especially loud one when I was making out with my ex girlfriend. I’ve been known to root for nose-gold. In a public restroom, I **must** use a stall. I simply can’t “saddle up” to the stand up urinals, or even worse, the trough \< shudder \>. I have to have a semblance of privacy, or no #1. I bite my fingernails. My room is a fucking disaster. When I’m with my buddies, and we see a hot,looking piece of jailba- young girl, we’ll look at each other and say “Yeah, we’re going to hell”. (From : “Tired of putting up with female shit”) > [@](#): > > How To Shower Like A Man > > 1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. > 2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your girlfriend/wife along the way, flash her making the “woo woo” sound. > 3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut to see if you have pecs (no). Admire the size of your dick in the mirror,scratch your balls and smell your fingers for one last whiff. > 4. Get in the shower. > 5. Don’t bother to look for a washcloth. (you don’t use one) > 6. Wash your face > 7. Wash your armpits > 8. Crack-up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower. > 9. Wash your privates and surrounding area. > 10. Wash your ass, leaving hair on the soap bar. > 11. Shampoo your hair. (do not use conditioner) > 12. Make a shampoo Mohawk. > 13. Pull back shower curtain and look at yourself in the mirror. > 14. Pee (in the shower) > 15. Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the curtain hang out of the tub the whole time. > 16. Partial dry off. > 17. Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles. Admire dick size. > 18. Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor. > 19. Leave bathroom and fan light on. > 20. Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. > If you pass your girlfriend/wife, pull off > the towel, grab your dick, and go “Yeah baby!!” Ummm…let’s just say this list hits a little too close to home. * * * You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing. ---
**Author:** ![CanadianSue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@CanadianSue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanadianSue)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 1999, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-things-you-cant-admit-irl/9953/51 "1999-10-20T19:54:00Z")
I have been brow beaten… ok ok … 1. I bite my finger nails 2. I fart… who doesnt 3. When Im hungry late at nite… ill go out in my pj’s to get fast food 4. In a public washroom, i sit above the seat instead of actually sitting on it. 5. I cant poop if im staying with a man or a man is staying with me. I just think i will die of embarassment if it stinks. 6. The morning after my high school graduation, i woke up with hickeys in the shape of a heart on my butt. 7. At my xmas party last year, after about 10 too many sambucas, i headlocked a girl and dragged her into a snow drift and then later flopped down on my bosses lap, and laid my head back into his wife’s lap, luckily she has a great sense of humour 8. The night before my sister’s wedding i took ex lax cuz my dress was a bit tight… i literally RAN down the aisle when the wedding ws over. Im dorkish so i could go on and on lol… but hey… i enjoy life ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 1999, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-things-you-cant-admit-irl/9953/52 "1999-10-20T19:57:00Z")
Mr Thin Skin, I beg you, have mercy! I’m laughing my ass off at work and I can’t tell anyone why! Ohmigod whenever I think about it I laugh until I cry! Oh Jaysus! The picture of you pushing your turds through the little holes with your toes, whistling while you work… Oh man… Ooh! Ooh! I just remembered another one, thanks to dear Sealemon. I farted while receiving cunnilingus once. Really. God, it was so embarrassing. The guy was very cool about it - that was almost as bad as farting in the first place. I was like, _“Did he enjoy that? Ewwwwwww!”_ ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 1999, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-things-you-cant-admit-irl/9953/53 "1999-10-20T20:10:00Z")
> [@](#): > > 1. I cant poop if im staying with a man or a man is staying with me. I just think i will die of embarassment if it stinks. Well, fuck me running! You mean you didn’t crap the _entire_ time I was staying with you? What did you use, a cork? Not that I 'm trying to embarrass you, or anything. 😉 * * * You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing. ---
**Author:** ![CanadianSue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@CanadianSue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanadianSue)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 1999, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-things-you-cant-admit-irl/9953/54 "1999-10-20T20:45:00Z")
Sealemon: Well, fuck me running! You mean you didn’t crap the entire time I was staying with you? What did you use, a cork? Bestill my beating heart sealemon… you are such a romantic… i guess that makes me full of shit… ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 1999, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-things-you-cant-admit-irl/9953/55 "1999-10-20T20:55:00Z")
Not at all, Sue, I just hope you didn’t back up the toilet or peel the paint off the walls when ya finally unleashed good ol’ number two Monday evening. Not that I’m trying to make you blush, or anything. \< slowly veering the thread towards Cancun \> * * * You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing. ---
**Author:** ![CanadianSue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@CanadianSue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanadianSue)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 1999, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-things-you-cant-admit-irl/9953/56 "1999-10-20T21:07:00Z")
Great idea m’der…I hear Cancun is nice this time of year… …patiently waits for her ticket to arrive… * * * We are, each of us angels with only one wing; and we can only fly by embracing one another ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 1999, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-things-you-cant-admit-irl/9953/57 "1999-10-22T05:11:00Z")
Sorry guys, but I’m shifting this one back up. I’m kinda hoping that Lumpy will still show up and respond to my questions regarding his hardly disguised incest admission. Then again, if I use that sort of terminology, I might be out of luck. ## Lumpy, stop lurking and explain yourself. Please. Coldfire * * * “You know how complex women are” - Neil Peart, Rush (1993) ---
**Author:** ![metroshane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/aeb1de/32.png) [@metroshane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/metroshane)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 1999, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-things-you-cant-admit-irl/9953/58 "1999-10-22T05:26:00Z")
i once went poo in someone’s bathroom, only to find out the toilet was broken and wouldn’t flush. i tried to cover with paper, but still have a phobia til this day. when i was little and would break something, i would prop it up and wait to the next person touched (even a little brush) and blame it on them. ---
**Author:** ![Mr\_Thin\_Skin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@Mr\_Thin\_Skin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr_Thin_Skin)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 1999, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-things-you-cant-admit-irl/9953/59 "1999-10-22T05:41:00Z")
Ok, here’s something that shamed me for quite a while. I was eating at a restaurant (hole-in-the-wall kinda place), when the need to do-do overcame me. I went to the bathroom, and discovered no toilet. There used to be a toilet there, but there was only a flange. The water supply was a flexible stainless steel tube. Hmmmm. I had to go real bad. I squatted and shit in the hole. Just as I finished and was squirting my do-do away, the plumber showed up with a new toilet. “Hey what the fuck are you doing” was his comment. I, uh, left at that point. It was a good thing that I didn’t have to wait for a check or anything. I guess the old toilet got busted and he was swapping it out. I think he just forgot to lock the door when he went for the toilet, and I stumbled upon the open door. ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 1999, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-things-you-cant-admit-irl/9953/60 "1999-10-21T18:05:00Z")
Coldfire, please see my response to your latest post in the BBQ pit. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-things-you-cant-admit-irl/9953.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-things-you-cant-admit-irl/9953.md?page=4)