# Embarrassing Things You Can't Admit IRL **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 12, 1999, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-things-you-cant-admit-irl/9953 "1999-10-12T15:45:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![jazzmine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jazzmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jazzmine)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 1999, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-things-you-cant-admit-irl/9953/81 "1999-10-24T04:42:00Z")
Well, except for, of course, that booger thingee. ---
**Author:** ![SanibelMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@SanibelMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanibelMan)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 1999, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-things-you-cant-admit-irl/9953/82 "1999-10-24T05:00:00Z")
Aww, now there you go, Miss Jazzmine - now I’m blushing and all…Thank you kindly. Also, let me say that if I pee in the shower while it’s warming up, I’m not also wasting 3.5 gallons of water. It all ends up in our front yard anyway, so what’s the difference? ---
**Author:** ![evilbeth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/evilbeth/32/2268_2.png) [@evilbeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilbeth)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 1999, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-things-you-cant-admit-irl/9953/83 "1999-10-24T06:28:00Z")
OpalCat–I could have written all your responses myself!!! I am so relieved to discover that not only are there other women out there who do the same weirdo things as me, there are also those who admit it! I have additional confessions: I saw New Kids on the Block in concert. Twice. On purpose. Even camped out in the rain for tickets once. I peed on myself at a Billy Joel concert. It wasn’t that I couldn’t hold it–I just got too excited. When I get a burger/sandwich on a sesame-seed bun, I cannot throw away the wrapper or rinse the plate until I have eaten every last seed. I don’t mean just eating them–I have to take each individual one and bite it in half with my front teeth. I just love the sensation. I have a fascination with picking at earring crusty things and the like and then putting them into peroxide just to watch it bubble. I actually like (no, REALLY like) the song “Afternoon Delight” by the Starland Vocal Band. I have deliberately provoked my niece (she was three) into misbehaving just so I could discipline her. (Her parents REFUSE to discipline her and she is out of control but this is no excuse.) Don’t worry, I have gotten help for these anger problems. But as for that New Kids on the Block stuff…I’m afraid there is no hope! * * * Born O.K. the first time… If you are born again, do you have two belly buttons? ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 1999, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-things-you-cant-admit-irl/9953/84 "1999-10-24T08:13:00Z")
Well, I’d been avoiding putting anything in this thread, because some things about me will always remain private, and other things I tend to admit to freely anyway, but as everyone seems obsessed with all things scatalogical, here’s one for you: Because of my outrageously unusual diet, I poop on average once every ten days. And before you get all gung-ho about suggesting I eat more fibre, the key here is regularity, not frequency. * * * “Well, roll me in eggs and flour and bake me for forty minutes!” [The Legend Of PigeonMan](http://www.hotkey.net.au/~guanolad/pigeonman/) ---
**Author:** ![Poto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ab992/32.png) [@Poto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poto)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 1999, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-things-you-cant-admit-irl/9953/85 "1999-10-25T02:48:00Z")
And what do you do to celebrate afterwards? ---
**Author:** ![jazzmine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jazzmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jazzmine)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 1999, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-things-you-cant-admit-irl/9953/86 "1999-10-25T03:03:00Z")
Sunbear, I just spit my pepsi out…LOL ---
**Author:** ![Daniel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Daniel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daniel)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 1999, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-things-you-cant-admit-irl/9953/87 "1999-10-25T03:08:00Z")
> [@](#): > > I poop on average once every ten days. Wow. I am amazed. Really. Wow. I am honestly not being sarcastic. You see, here in good ol’ SUNY Binghamton, it is common knowledge that they put laxatives in the dining hall food. EVERYONE knows this just from personal experience; you can’t go a day without crapping. The reasoning is of course that if heaven forbid one of the college students on dining hall staff screws up and doesn’t cook something well enough, all the bad stuff will pass through us too fast to cause that much harm. Can you guess the main reason I can’t wait to go back home? * * * “I’m just too much for human existence – I should be animated.” –Wayne Knight ---
**Author:** ![AuraSeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c2a13f/32.png) [@AuraSeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuraSeer)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 1999, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-things-you-cant-admit-irl/9953/88 "1999-10-25T03:17:00Z")
You say you only defecate every 10 days? Man, you’re full of shit. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 1999, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-things-you-cant-admit-irl/9953/89 "1999-10-25T05:24:00Z")
I’ve been that way all my life, literally. So to change now would probably be a bad thing. * * * “Well, roll me in eggs and flour and bake me for forty minutes!” [The Legend Of PigeonMan](http://www.hotkey.net.au/~guanolad/pigeonman/) ---
**Author:** ![Poto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ab992/32.png) [@Poto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poto)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 1999, 11:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-things-you-cant-admit-irl/9953/90 "1999-10-25T11:01:00Z")
So you haven’t been contibuting much to the Gross National Product, then… ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 1999, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-things-you-cant-admit-irl/9953/91 "1999-10-25T12:03:00Z")
Two to three times a day here. Big, steaming heaps of it, I tell you. Oh wait. ## _stumbles off to the “Poop” thread…_ Coldfire * * * “You know how complex women are” - Neil Peart, Rush (1993) ---
**Author:** ![\_00\_The\_Fool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/ed655f/32.png) [@\_00\_The\_Fool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_00_The_Fool)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 1999, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-things-you-cant-admit-irl/9953/92 "1999-10-26T05:22:00Z")
Don’t get me started on this, I’ll never be able to stop. Besides, I don’t really consider this MB confidential. **Mr. Thin Skin:** I didn’t think people really spewed food or drink at their computer until I read your story and covered my monitor and keyboard with a mouthful of milk and cookies. **pldennison:** I can sympathize with your situation, man. there are few things as uncomfortable as _really_ needing to shit and having nowhere to go. Finding joy in the pain of others is what makes our pathetic little lives bearable. Now if you’ll excuse me I must clean my computer. . . * * * “Oh we were brought up on the Space-Race, now they expect us to clean toilets. When you have seen how big the world is how can you make do with this?” Pulp, “Glory Days” ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 1999, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-things-you-cant-admit-irl/9953/93 "1999-10-26T15:18:00Z")
::without looking at what others have posted:: I have the Ally Mc Beal and Friends soundtracks, and the other day I bought the Buffy the Vampire Slayer soundtrack. The next on my list is the Dawson’s Creek soundtrack. * * * “Love given when it is inconvenient is the greatest love of all. Kindnesses that are shared at a high cost to oneself are the most dear.” Don’t know who said it, but I like it. ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 1999, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-things-you-cant-admit-irl/9953/94 "1999-10-26T15:51:00Z")
Wow, Michelle… You must be sooo embarrassed. You don’t pick your nose, bite your fingernails or poop in the shower? **WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU?** Canthearya, feelin’ mighty comfortable amongst a teeming million weirdos ---
**Author:** ![Sassy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@Sassy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sassy)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 1999, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-things-you-cant-admit-irl/9953/95 "1999-10-26T23:38:00Z")
GuanoLad > [@](#): > > Because of my outrageously unusual diet, I poop on average once every ten days. I have to say that your name is a little misleading… * * * ``` Photons have mass!? I didn't even know they were Catholic... ``` ---
**Author:** ![Tammy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6de8d8/32.png) [@Tammy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tammy)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 1999, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-things-you-cant-admit-irl/9953/96 "1999-10-27T01:22:00Z")
I listen to the oldies, goldies, and moldies and sing them as loud as I can. I hate doing laundry and let it pile up on the floor until I have to pick through it. I wear my daughter’s underware. I sometimes wear flannel to bed. I sneak through my ex’s mail and wallet when he’s not looking. I’ve peed in the shower as long as I can remember. ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 1999, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-things-you-cant-admit-irl/9953/97 "1999-10-27T01:35:00Z")
Daniel, You go to BU? We’re neighbors! I live right in the area… 🙂 Zette * * * A friend is someone who likes you even though you’re as ugly as a hat full of assholes. [Zettecity](http://www.angelfire.com/ny3/zettecity/index.html) ---
**Author:** ![Boris\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/fbc32d/32.png) [@Boris\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boris_B)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 1999, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-things-you-cant-admit-irl/9953/98 "1999-10-27T01:37:00Z")
Can I just say I’m intrigued at the two main tracks this thread has taken: listening to pop music and excretary habits. Nope, not trying to insinuate anything. Not a thing. Not me. No way. * * * Nothing I write about any person or group should be applied to a larger group. - Boris Badenov [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/embarrassing-things-you-cant-admit-irl/9953.md?page=4)