# Empire Carpet Guy Dies **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 27, 2011, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/empire-carpet-guy-dies/579933 "2011-04-27T19:38:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Cell\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@Cell\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cell_Guy)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2011, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/empire-carpet-guy-dies/579933/1 "2011-04-27T19:38:46Z")
[Lynn Haldren](http://www.chicagotribune.com/business/chibrknews-empire-carpet-man-dies-at-89-20110427,0,703522.story) passed away today, and with him a little more of my childhood is gone. 588-2300…EMPIRE! ---
**Author:** ![smaje1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@smaje1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smaje1)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2011, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/empire-carpet-guy-dies/579933/2 "2011-04-27T20:53:02Z")
NOOOOOOOO!!! ☹ You’re right, it’s like a piece of my childhood is gone forever. There was a rumor that this girl in my high school (in the Chicago burbs) was his granddaughter. Never got that confirmed, but I like to think I was only a few degrees of separation away from him. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2011, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/empire-carpet-guy-dies/579933/3 "2011-04-27T21:11:47Z")
I expect that at the funeral service mourners will be wall-to-wall. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Sateryn76](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Sateryn76](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sateryn76)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2011, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/empire-carpet-guy-dies/579933/4 "2011-04-27T21:12:44Z")
This is sad…my husband ran into him at the Jazz Showcase a bunch of years ago, and said he was drunk as a lord… 588-6 Feet Under ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Simmerdown](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simmerdown/32/14859_2.png) [@Simmerdown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simmerdown)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2011, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/empire-carpet-guy-dies/579933/5 "2011-04-27T21:32:48Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > I expect that at the funeral service mourners will be wall-to-wall. > mmm I’d like to be there when they all pile into the church. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2011, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/empire-carpet-guy-dies/579933/6 "2011-04-27T21:48:33Z")
> [@Simmerdown](#): > > I’d like to be there when they all pile into the church. How many would be willing to shag after the service? ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2011, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/empire-carpet-guy-dies/579933/7 "2011-04-27T21:49:39Z")
I’m absolutely floored by this news! I grew up with that jingle stuck in my head more often than not. enjoying the subtle puns, keep them coming ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2011, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/empire-carpet-guy-dies/579933/8 "2011-04-27T21:54:28Z")
Today?!!? ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2011, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/empire-carpet-guy-dies/579933/9 "2011-04-27T21:56:26Z")
Well, that’s the triad of death: Liz Sladen, Phoebe Snow, Empire Carpet Guy. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2011, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/empire-carpet-guy-dies/579933/10 "2011-04-27T22:15:56Z")
He’ll be buried tomorrow. You know, next-day installation and all that. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Simmerdown](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simmerdown/32/14859_2.png) [@Simmerdown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simmerdown)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2011, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/empire-carpet-guy-dies/579933/11 "2011-04-27T22:15:58Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > How many would be willing to shag after the service? Well, you’re taking somewhat of a liberal tack, aren’t you? ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2011, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/empire-carpet-guy-dies/579933/12 "2011-04-27T22:49:26Z")
underfoot in life and underfoot in death. really these kinds of punny remarks are just tacky. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2011, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/empire-carpet-guy-dies/579933/13 "2011-04-27T23:26:45Z")
> [@Sateryn76](#): > > 588-6 Feet Under ☹ Forget feet. They’ll have to measure it in yards. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2011, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/empire-carpet-guy-dies/579933/14 "2011-04-28T00:10:44Z")
> [@Sateryn76](#): > > 588-6 Feet Under ☹ _ **So** _ stealing that one for my facebook update. ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2011, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/empire-carpet-guy-dies/579933/15 "2011-04-28T00:16:35Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > I expect that at the funeral service mourners will be wall-to-wall. Tacky. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2011, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/empire-carpet-guy-dies/579933/16 "2011-04-28T00:25:18Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > He’ll be buried tomorrow. You know, next-day installation and all that. Hopefully there won’t be any snags. ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2011, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/empire-carpet-guy-dies/579933/17 "2011-04-28T18:08:36Z")
Now we’re just post padding. ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Mapp](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miss_mapp/32/369_2.png) [@Miss\_Mapp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Mapp)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2011, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/empire-carpet-guy-dies/579933/18 "2011-04-28T18:26:08Z")
When I bought some flooring from Empire last year and saw that phone number on the paperwork, that jingle came right back into my head although I hadn’t heard it in about 30 years. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2011, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/empire-carpet-guy-dies/579933/19 "2011-04-28T18:49:25Z")
A few years ago a local radio station stole the tune of their jingle to promote their oldies offerings: > [@](#): > > The Beatles – Billy Joel – Doobie Brothers (Station name) ---
**Author:** ![Markxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@Markxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Markxxx)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2011, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/empire-carpet-guy-dies/579933/20 "2011-04-28T19:06:42Z")
He never worked for Empire, he was just their pitchman. Now I guess the guy from Victory Auto Wreckers, Bob Zajdel, will be next [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/empire-carpet-guy-dies/579933.md?page=2)