# En garde, Ebay Scammer! I slay you and keep your money! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 2, 2012, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/en-garde-ebay-scammer-i-slay-you-and-keep-your-money/617619 "2012-04-02T19:24:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2012, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/en-garde-ebay-scammer-i-slay-you-and-keep-your-money/617619/1 "2012-04-02T19:24:41Z")
[bad french accent] [one eyebrow twitching up and down] You thought you would sign a new account, buy my iphone, then seek a refund for imagined issues, whereupon I would never see the tempting and delicious bit of yummy technology again while you laughed and laughed at how you got a free $450 phone. But you never imagined I would be paranoid enough to make a videotape of the phone before sending it, showing it working, the identifying information, the outside from all angles, and my packing it up to send to you! AHA! With that, my honest listing, photos, and perfect 12 year, 1500 auction rep, and multiple emails outlining offers and compromises that you continued to refuse in favor of only a full refund in advance of returning the phone, your lies stand no chance! Take THAT! And people, if English is your second language, you don’t get to use messaging shorthand, because then this becomes the ugly result: > [@](#): > > so u, are selling the,if the phone is in the same condition. ure just because u whant u b charging me a 50 dlls fee??? whatttt? ok can u send me the number of the people u talk about this phone so i can explain to them and send them a video. what did u mean u dont trust me, what makes u think the i have to trust u,?? i don’t think just because i haven;t buy moore staff on ebay that don’t make me a lest god buyer then u a '“god seller”, i don’t think the ones i got the phone, the phone wasn’t working/ i think the u just din’t found a care lees person, and that y ure making this up the i did someting 2 the phone, because i’m shure the when i got the phone and i star’it to check if it was ore wasn’t workig? i realise the the back camera wasn’t working; today i in the morning when i ghat up from bed, i tuch the map app and the phone was frozen. then i realised the the bottom from thre front was lose. the item had lats of damage in the front and in the back… let see explain to me how can i take a picture.? white the back camera? if is only the one on the front the isn’t working? y u don’t want to send me the “video” u have? y i think because u dont have one? and i can probe to any one, the this phone is not a 450 dll phone/ bacause my wife got one from the network on ebay for 350 and is way better then this phone? see is a good buyer and see is a 100yellow star on ebay, see is the one the toll about u goos seller but i just think ure not a trust’t people. sorry but i just spend 450 dlls and a phone the is not good. and the bluetooth u send is so ugly not clean, i will sen u the phone, and i want full refound for it, pleas send a better spanish, aones a gatnd i dont need ure good positive feedback, ones paypal lets me know about my full refound u get ur "positive feedback"then and only then, u get ure feedback. just to v sure i will b calling ebay to see what can i do about this All the messages I sent to him I sent in English and then ran through Babelfish in the hopes that between his English and bad babelfish, my communication would be completely clear. His (Last? I think so…) email to me, after he’d actually seen parts of the video and knew I wasn’t bluffing, was all in spanish, which he’d never used before. I ran it through babelfish and it seems he isn’t all that much better in Spanish, becuase this is all I could get: > [@](#): > > OK look I I was watching the video, and in no time your mostrast nothing in respect to the camera, and bubbles q is if they are the protective screen but also has some rubbish the inside tru, but nimodo, as you want to mandarm the 50 dlls so d rallones q has the cell? Umm… ok. I responded to the above thusly: > [@](#): > > Only a few words of your message were understood by the automatic translator. It seems that you watched the video and it seems like you wish to argue about it. I posted parts of the video, as much as I could fit on Flickr, because you did not believe that any video existed. I did not post it to argue with you about it. I have not it ignored you, I have not refused to refund you if what you are telling me is true, I have made you fair offers to compromise and settle these issues but you find them unacceptable. I understand but you have offered no alternatives other than for me to assume all the risk which I do not find acceptable. I don’t know what else to tell you. And that was a day and a half ago. I’ve heard nothing from him OR ebay- I cantacted them first to give a heads up and make sure they were going to cover my ass. I hate it when people live down to the expectations that people tell me I should have… but I love it when I pay attention and take precautions. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2012, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/en-garde-ebay-scammer-i-slay-you-and-keep-your-money/617619/2 "2012-04-02T19:50:16Z")
So you did get the money, and the scammer wants the money back? What a jerk. I’ve never sold anything on eBay, but used to buy quite a few things, and only once did I ever have a problem. And that was more because the seller was rude, not dissatisfaction with the purchase. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2012, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/en-garde-ebay-scammer-i-slay-you-and-keep-your-money/617619/3 "2012-04-02T20:52:51Z")
> [@Baker](#): > > So you did get the money, and the scammer wants the money back? What a jerk. I’m pretty sure the whole thing was a setup from the get-go: 1.I asked for a phone number after they bought it and I talked to his wife. I asked why they were so new to Ebay and she told me they did have her account, which has positive feedback x 21. She said this was her husband’s account. I didn’t probe further, but when you want to just screw someone, you set up a new account, use it for the screw, and bail, you don’t cause problems on an account you care about. On the other hand… 1. If you’re going to be making an honest purchase for $450, you don’t want to risk being in his position if YOU get screwed, which is [soup nazi] No benefit of the doubt for YOU![/soup nazi], so you use your established account while you build up a new one with smaller, less risky purchases. 2. His choice of my iPhone over others to begin with. The front camera doesn’t work, and I stated that clearly in the listing in large type. (It’s a software issue that would probably go away if the OS were updated, but the phone is jailbroken and unlocked and that would get fucked up.) Other phones were the same price or less with no flaws. If he’s going to be super picky (claimed it was horribly scratched, loose buttons, whatever…all not true) why would he go with my iphone over the others? The answer I think is true: because having one flaw makes it easier to claim it has more. 3. I made several offers: [ul] [li]a. $50 back for the scratches he claimed were terrible. Ok, different standards, difference of opinion.[/li][li]b. Return the phone first via priority with sig confirmation. if it’s exactly the way it was when I sent it, with the same software, in the same physical condition, and it is definitely the same phone, I ding him a $50 restocking fee for being a pain in the ass and refund the rest. [/li][li]c. If it is the same phone and nothing has been changed but it is truly broken in some new way, a full refund. [/li][li]d. If it is not the same phone, if the software is changed, if it has been changed or tampered with in any way, I deduct $100 minimum plus any additional needed to undo whatever he fucked up.[/li][/ul] Nope, none of that was ok, the only thing that he wanted to do was argue me into submission and get me to send him a full refund first. Sorry, Charlie, not gonna happen. ---
**Author:** ![eclectic\_wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ac91a4/32.png) [@eclectic\_wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eclectic_wench)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2012, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/en-garde-ebay-scammer-i-slay-you-and-keep-your-money/617619/4 "2012-04-02T23:29:26Z")
He paid by Paypal? Uh-oh. I’m not sure I see this ending well. If he ends up sending ‘the phone’ back, open the package in front of a post office employee. It may not make any difference to Paypal if you have a statement from the PO saying he sent you a brick, but you never know. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2012, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/en-garde-ebay-scammer-i-slay-you-and-keep-your-money/617619/5 "2012-04-03T01:14:32Z")
> [@eclectic\_wench](#): > > Uh-oh. I’m not sure I see this ending well. > > If he ends up sending ‘the phone’ back, open the package in front of a post office employee. It may not make any difference to Paypal if you have a statement from the PO saying he sent you a brick, but you never know. Excellent notion. I’ll video that as well. But since I still haven’t heard from him or Ebay, I feel 98% certain that he was trying to run a scam on me and get a free phone, and the fact that I had the videotape made him realize he wasn’t going to get very far claiming that the phone was all fucked up. But if I get a package, I won’t open it without witnesses and video. ---
**Author:** ![Svejk\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@Svejk\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Svejk_1)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2012, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/en-garde-ebay-scammer-i-slay-you-and-keep-your-money/617619/6 "2012-04-03T01:55:05Z")
to be honest, if someone’s English was that poor I would not even be dealing with them on Ebay. Too easy for misunderstandings to arise, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2012, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/en-garde-ebay-scammer-i-slay-you-and-keep-your-money/617619/7 "2012-04-03T02:03:27Z")
> [@Svejk\_1](#): > > to be honest, if someone’s English was that poor I would not even be dealing with them on Ebay. Too easy for misunderstandings to arise, etc. Also, Google Translate actually works really well. I didn’t know people use Bablefish for anything other then a joke. When it first showed up on the scene, it did an awful job. You might want to try translating some of the emails again [here](http://translate.google.com/) and see if they’re any more coherent. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2012, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/en-garde-ebay-scammer-i-slay-you-and-keep-your-money/617619/8 "2012-04-03T03:51:58Z")
> [@Svejk\_1](#): > > to be honest, if someone’s English was that poor I would not even be dealing with them on Ebay. Too easy for misunderstandings to arise, etc. There was no communication beforehand except my call to the wife, who spoke English decently. And his first few emails to me weren’t that bad, it deterorated with each successive exchange. Thanks for the Google Translat, Joey, I knew there were others out there. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2012, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/en-garde-ebay-scammer-i-slay-you-and-keep-your-money/617619/9 "2012-04-03T04:58:29Z")
Done! I received this: > [@](#): > > Ok i just, ask u the how are u goiing to send me the 50dlls, i talk to my wife and i b Live she’s right, so i just need to know when or how ure planing on send me the 50 dlls? Smart boy, $50 is better than a lit cigar shoved up your nose. (I wonder what his wife was right about?) My answer was to PP the money immediately, then copy and paste it without comment. BYE! ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2012, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/en-garde-ebay-scammer-i-slay-you-and-keep-your-money/617619/10 "2012-04-04T13:53:27Z")
> [@](#): > > OK look I I was watching the video, and in no time your mostrast nothing in respect to the camera, and bubbles q is if they are the protective screen but also has some rubbish the inside tru, but nimodo, as you want to mandarm the 50 dlls so d rallones q has the cell? monstrast was supposed to be some form of monstrar = “to show (me)”. q means “que”, “that/which”. mandarm is actually “mandarme”, “order me”. d means “de”, “of/from”. nimodo is “ni modo”, “no way”. rallones is “rayones”, “scratches”. So he’s saying your video doesn’t show anything about the camera and, I’m guessing, some defect that looks like bubbles in a protective screen. Then he says “no way, as you want to give me $50 for the scratches that the phone has.”