# Endearments... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 8, 2003, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/endearments/159962 "2003-03-08T20:50:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Sappho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sappho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sappho)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2003, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/endearments/159962/1 "2003-03-08T20:50:27Z")
I’m terrible at them. I always end up sounding sarcastic. But I’d really like to learn how to use them with boyfriends… Any thoughts on which ones sound good and which ones sound over the top? Darling/honey are the ones I use when I’m being sarky so I can’t use them seriously but the more unusual ones always sound silly. ---
**Author:** ![Cardinal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardinal/32/4000_2.png) [@Cardinal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardinal)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2003, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/endearments/159962/2 "2003-03-08T21:24:51Z")
You could always come up with your own word/nickname. I think it’s almost anything that you can say with sincerity. I might guess that the problem is more with the attitude than with the actual words. Of course, I don’t know you… ---
**Author:** ![Sappho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sappho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sappho)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2003, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/endearments/159962/3 "2003-03-08T21:29:14Z")
Hmmm. That’s probably fair. I do have problems being “romantic”. It’s tricky when you spend most of your time being very analytical and rational to know how to talk about feelings. But I do want to communicate the fact that I care about someone… ---
**Author:** ![viking](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc79bd/32.png) [@viking](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/viking)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2003, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/endearments/159962/4 "2003-03-08T23:29:52Z")
you could always borrow from Calvin and Hobbes and use `bitsy pookums' and `snoogy woogy’ Hmmm. maybe there’s a reason I’m single… ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Matthew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e480ec/32.png) [@Mr.Matthew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Matthew)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2003, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/endearments/159962/5 "2003-03-09T00:09:48Z")
Nonverbal communication is as important as he actual spoken words. If you really want to deliver an endearment and make it heartfelt, do this: Make eye contact. Reach out and touch them; grasp their shoulder, clasp both of their hands in yours, lay your palm against their cheek and then quietly, confidently deliver the endearment. You don’t have to have something cute or trendy or special, or even do it often. Try it. ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2003, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/endearments/159962/6 "2003-03-09T00:34:25Z")
One of the best endearments is just the person’s name. Names often get dropped when it’s just two people, but I’ve found that calling the other person by name adds a layer of intimacy without seeming “fluffy”. ---
**Author:** ![Diadem\_Diadose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@Diadem\_Diadose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diadem_Diadose)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2003, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/endearments/159962/7 "2003-03-09T01:02:51Z")
All baby animal names are out for guys. Bunny, kitty, lambkin, foal, etc. Except Roo. That’s cool because Christopher Robin uses it. ---
**Author:** ![Diadem\_Diadose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@Diadem\_Diadose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diadem_Diadose)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2003, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/endearments/159962/8 "2003-03-09T01:05:09Z")
Men can live with anything associated only with men: dude, guy, my man, cowboy, pardner, buster, Mayor McCheese, etc. ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2003, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/endearments/159962/9 "2003-03-09T01:18:58Z")
Considering that I am called duckydoodle by a man that I call sugarbee, I suppose I’m not allowed to give advice about terms of endearment to _normal people._ 😃 ---
**Author:** ![burundi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3ec8ea/32.png) [@burundi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burundi)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2003, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/endearments/159962/10 "2003-03-09T01:28:26Z")
I tend to call most of my friends “darlin” or “babe.” It’s a casual thing. “Hey, darlin,” “thanks, babe,” that sort of deal. I probably call my SO “sweetie” more than anything else. ---
**Author:** ![SnugTheJoiner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e8c25b/32.png) [@SnugTheJoiner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnugTheJoiner)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2003, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/endearments/159962/11 "2003-03-09T07:19:01Z")
Tallulah Bankhead called everyone “dahling” because she simply couldn’t remember their real names–even the names of people close to her. At a party, she once introduced a close friend as “Martini.” Her friend’s name was actually Olive. ---
**Author:** ![hyperjes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df705f/32.png) [@hyperjes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hyperjes)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2003, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/endearments/159962/12 "2003-03-09T07:51:32Z")
I tend to call **d\_redguy** “sweetheart”, or “baby”. Both of which are over-used and cheesy, I know. :o “Honey” reminds me too much of my grandparents, who always called each other that. When I am being a little snide, I tend to call [b[d\*\* “Chuckles.” I don’t know why. I guess because sometimes he just thinks he’s SO funny.:rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![hyperjes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df705f/32.png) [@hyperjes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hyperjes)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2003, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/endearments/159962/13 "2003-03-09T07:52:40Z")
:smack: :smack: :smack: PREVEIW:smack: :smack: :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Kat\_Lady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Kat\_Lady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat_Lady)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2003, 8:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/endearments/159962/14 "2003-03-09T08:10:57Z")
Sometimes they can bite you in the behind. Perfect example: I have called my fellow Bunky for years…I thought my secret was safe, until I finally found the album from my childhood on eBay and bid way more than it was worth, it arrived and immediately went on the turntable, and I was found in the livingroom with tears running down my cheeks and a knowing smile on the b/f’s face. Bunky is a cool dude… kat ---
**Author:** ![sunstone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunstone/32/3372_2.png) [@sunstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sunstone)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2003, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/endearments/159962/15 "2003-03-10T04:00:32Z")
I vary it from day to day. Yesterday she was my little kumquat; today she is my little pumpkin. Lest you think that I only think of nibbling on her…I usually call her “honey”…and ever so often I call her for a great Sunday breakfast. Hmmm…wonder what’s in the fridge? ---
**Author:** ![MissBungle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@MissBungle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissBungle)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2003, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/endearments/159962/16 "2003-03-10T06:02:25Z")
i’d use something more person… not something that any girl he’s dated could call him. babe, hunny, sweetheart… but if you have some inside joke between ya two… that you can make into a nickname… then use that. and i think more importantly, to avoid sounding glib, watch the tone in which you say it. ---
**Author:** ![MissBungle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@MissBungle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissBungle)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2003, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/endearments/159962/17 "2003-03-10T06:03:58Z")
\*personal and use something natural. don’t force it. if it doesn’t roll of yoru tongue… than don’t call him it. ya know? ---
**Author:** ![deu\_e](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bb73d2/32.png) [@deu\_e](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deu_e)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2003, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/endearments/159962/18 "2003-03-10T21:08:39Z")
What if you SO uses the same TOE for both you and the household pet? My GF calls the resident furrball the same name she’s given me. It used to annoy me to no end, but I’ve learned to use it to my advantage. “Oh, I didn’t know you were talking to me…” ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2003, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/endearments/159962/19 "2003-03-10T22:06:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by hyperjes \* > \*\*:smack: :smack: :smack: PREVEIW:smack: :smack: :smack: \*\* Hee hee! Tell me that’s deliberate! I’m not so much of a ToE fellow myself, but I find that “hot buttered love muffin” does wonders. Indeed there are lots of things that can be hot buttered love things. Biscuits, gnocchi, noodles, machines, you name it. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![hyperjes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df705f/32.png) [@hyperjes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hyperjes)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/endearments/159962/20 "2003-03-11T01:36:37Z")
Yes. Glad someone caught it!😉 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/endearments/159962.md?page=2)