# Engelbert Humperdinck is God.
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/engelbert-humperdinck-is-god/104484
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [April 19, 2002, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/engelbert-humperdinck-is-god/104484 "2002-04-19T08:20:09Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Truth\_Seeker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Truth_Seeker)
#### Post date: [April 19, 2002, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/engelbert-humperdinck-is-god/104484/1 "2002-04-19T08:20:09Z")
Once, I was like you. I had no meaning in my life, no purpose. But then, I found this thread,
[Everybody read me PLEASE](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=109964)
Now I admit I was struck blind while reading the OP. But then, when I read **Deeward’s** riposte to the cynics, it was like the scales fell from my eyes. It wasn’t about **Deeward’s** bid for half-trick poneydom, it was about the issue. It was about . . . Engelbert.
When you understand, when you _really_ understand, you understand. Engelbert Humperdinck is so much more than the most popular entertainer of all time. So, so much more. His name is like a mantra. **Engelbert Humperdinck, Engelbert Humperdinck** Come. Say it with me. It doesn’t matter where you are, whether you are at home, at work, at school, in the library. Repeat it out loud. \*\*Engelbert Humperdinck, Engelbert Humperdinck, \*\* Listen to yourself. **Engelbert Humperdinck, Engelbert Humperdinck**. Don’t you feel something coming over you? I know I do!
---
### Author:  [@Steve\_Wright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_Wright)
#### Post date: [April 19, 2002, 9:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/engelbert-humperdinck-is-god/104484/2 "2002-04-19T09:39:05Z")
…rrrrrrrrrrrright… so, the situation is, we are under attack from a rabid Engelbert Humperdinck fan?
It’s time to hand back my eyeballs, because now I really _have_ seen it all…
---
### Author:  [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)
#### Post date: [April 19, 2002, 9:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/engelbert-humperdinck-is-god/104484/3 "2002-04-19T09:49:41Z")
As ever, Billy Connolly sang it best on his “Billy Connoly Live in Concert” album
"I like to sing James Taylor songs, and songs by Carol King.
I’ll even sing John Murphy songs, I’ll sing anything.
But when I sing in social clubs, just one thing sickens me,
a wee drunk woman staggers up, and this is what she says to me.
Hey Jimmy, gonna gi’ us Ten Guitars?
Her face has got a dozen battle scars,
Oh, I must have sang that song in a thousand bars.
Oh I’m really getting sick of Ten Guitars. "
theres two more verses, on this link
[http://freespace.virgin.net/martin.lewis/billy/songs/10guitar.htm](http://freespace.virgin.net/martin.lewis/billy/songs/10guitar.htm)
---
### Author:  [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)
#### Post date: [April 19, 2002, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/engelbert-humperdinck-is-god/104484/4 "2002-04-19T11:06:49Z")
I’m willing to bet that Deewart is putting us on: I mean, c’mon. _Engleblert Humperdink_? Really. He should have chosen someone believable as his pseudo-icon…say…Liberace or Boy George.
Fenris
---
### Author:  [@Tansu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tansu)
#### Post date: [April 19, 2002, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/engelbert-humperdinck-is-god/104484/5 "2002-04-19T11:55:46Z")
Are you dissing Boy George, Fenris? I really wouldn’t like to think that the so-called “Mighty” Fenris (all right, I was the one who called you that, but it still _counts_ as so-called) was suggesting that Boy George is a worthy icon for a mere member of the One Trick Pony Chow-dare and Marching club?
Boy George is a Diva, a Great British Institution, and most hats make me look like him. Do you, so-called “Mighty” Fenris, really want to hurt me? Do you really want to make me cry?
---
### Author:  [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)
#### Post date: [April 19, 2002, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/engelbert-humperdinck-is-god/104484/6 "2002-04-19T12:09:13Z")
> [@](#):
>
> Great British Institution,
he’s Irish 😉
---
### Author:  [@Albert\_Rose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Albert_Rose)
#### Post date: [April 19, 2002, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/engelbert-humperdinck-is-god/104484/7 "2002-04-19T12:19:03Z")
**U2** is the greatest rock and roll band of all time.
---
### Author:  [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)
#### Post date: [April 19, 2002, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/engelbert-humperdinck-is-god/104484/8 "2002-04-19T12:42:22Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by AlbertRose \*
> \*\ ***U2** is the greatest rock and roll band of all time. \*\*
RNot
---
### Author:  [@kabbes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kabbes)
#### Post date: [April 19, 2002, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/engelbert-humperdinck-is-god/104484/9 "2002-04-19T12:53:08Z")
We are?
Sorry. Old joke.
---
### Author:  [@caveman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/caveman)
#### Post date: [April 19, 2002, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/engelbert-humperdinck-is-god/104484/10 "2002-04-19T13:38:06Z")
Winglebert Slapdyback…Finglebert Swiftybuns…
---
### Author:  [@Protesilaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Protesilaus)
#### Post date: [April 19, 2002, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/engelbert-humperdinck-is-god/104484/11 "2002-04-19T16:36:59Z")
I thought Eric Clapton was supposed to be God. I’m so confused.
---
### Author:  [@Darwins\_Finch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darwins_Finch)
#### Post date: [April 19, 2002, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/engelbert-humperdinck-is-god/104484/12 "2002-04-19T19:05:37Z")
Max: Why’d you say that name? You promised me that you would never say that name!
Valerie: What, Humperdink? Humperdink. Humperdink. Humperdink!
Max: I’m not listening!
---
### Author:  [@Billy\_Baroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billy_Baroo)
#### Post date: [April 19, 2002, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/engelbert-humperdinck-is-god/104484/13 "2002-04-19T19:51:27Z")
Engelbert has some sweet pipes, Lord knows, and longevity. My epiphany was at 4AM: there was an infomercial, I had a credit card and a phone in reaching distance, and not long after I had my cherished Engelbert CD. All of his best.
But mine eyes have seen Neil Diamond at the United Center, writhing on the stage floor for the benefit of sweaty ladies in pantsuits, so of course I have a bias. Neil’s better.
Big deal. All of that has no meaning and no purpose, like **Truth Seeker’s** life, if you don’t accept the axiom: Elvis is God.
One of the reasons I still love U2 is that Bono, on a good night, can rival Elvis’s vocal majesty.
---
### Author:  [@hobgnoblin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hobgnoblin)
#### Post date: [April 19, 2002, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/engelbert-humperdinck-is-god/104484/14 "2002-04-19T20:53:51Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Protesilaus \*
> \*\*I thought Eric Clapton was supposed to be God. I’m so confused. \*\*
You _thought_? Oh, ye of little faith.
Clapton IS God.
[http://membres.lycos.fr/oceane79/](http://membres.lycos.fr/oceane79/)
---
### Author:  [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)
#### Post date: [April 19, 2002, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/engelbert-humperdinck-is-god/104484/15 "2002-04-19T20:59:37Z")
Engelbert Humperdinck is god?
That explains **everything.** 🙂
---
### Author:  [@Truth\_Seeker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Truth_Seeker)
#### Post date: [April 19, 2002, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/engelbert-humperdinck-is-god/104484/16 "2002-04-19T22:13:03Z")
Liberace? Elvis? **Clapton?** U2? **Boy George?!?** These so-called “entertainers” aren’t even fit to touch the hem of Engelbert Humperdinck’s jacket!
I know these boards do a lot of funing , but this time can we be serious for a few minutes?
I’m not in the mood for laughs.
As a matter of fact, I’m feeling really bad. It’s darn near a heartbreak type of feeling.
The issue is **ENGELBERT**! Can we concentrate on that, you philistines?
**rjung** , Thank Engelbert that at least someone understands. I can’t tell you what joy it gives me to know that you, too, have reached a state of Humperdinckness. Engelbert bless you!
---
### Author:  [@happyheathen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/happyheathen)
#### Post date: [April 19, 2002, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/engelbert-humperdinck-is-god/104484/17 "2002-04-19T23:01:49Z")
**Jerry Garcia** is god.
you filthy heathens!
---
### Author:  [@coosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coosa)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2002, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/engelbert-humperdinck-is-god/104484/18 "2002-04-20T01:02:33Z")
Ya know, I’ve always kinda liked the name **Humperdink**. It sounds like you’re saying something really, really nasty involving sex, while you’re not actually saying anything at all.
> [@](#):
>
> . Engelbert Humperdinck, Engelbert Humperdinck. Don’t you feel something coming over you?
**TruthSeeker** , you’re right! I . . . I . . . I **do** feel something . . . . It’s like a fire has been lit in the pit of my stomach, and it’s growing and spreading and getting bigger and stronger all the time . . . It’s like . . . like . . .
Heartburn. Guess I shouldn’t have had that last taco.
Hey, **TS** , Alka-Seltzer will make that feeling go away in just a couple of minutes.
> [@](#):
>
> Boy George is a Diva, a Great British Institution, and most hats make me look like him.
Yes, that tinfoil hat is _really_ attractive. I bet a copy of this post and 50 cents will earn you a free six-month vacation in the lovely Cuckoo’s Nest Inn [sub](State Home for the Mentally Handicapped)[/sub]
**Protesilaus** and **hobgnoblin** : Both of you should know better than to talk about _ **CLAPTON** _ in front of other people! _sigh_ How soon the privileged ones forget . . . you _know_ only those of us with special extra sensory perceptions can sense His Divineness!
If you screw up again He will punish you by replacing all of your CDs with copies of ‘_Teletubbies Sing the Blues_’ [sub]\*with a special appearance by Peewee Herman[/sub].
Be afraid. _Be very afraid._
---
### Author:  [@hobgnoblin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hobgnoblin)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2002, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/engelbert-humperdinck-is-god/104484/19 "2002-04-20T11:54:06Z")
No, **coosa** , I’m here on assignment. You see, He came to me in a dream, and said “Dammit, Hob (we’re tight like that), some idiot named Dipwad is bearing false witness against me, and preaching that some ‘Dingleberry Humpersomething’ is God. I’m rather busy hammering out the chord progression for my newest song, so you’ll have to go and straighten them out for me.”
Besides, Clapton is a merciful God. He would never torture me that way. N’Sync maybe, but not Teletubbies.
---
### Author:  [@Feynn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feynn)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2002, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/engelbert-humperdinck-is-god/104484/20 "2002-04-20T17:13:36Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by AlbertRose \*
> \*\ ***U2** is the greatest rock and roll band of all time. \*\*
Infidel.
[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/engelbert-humperdinck-is-god/104484.md?page=2)