# English/Irish/Scots/Welsh jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 24, 2018, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/english-irish-scots-welsh-jokes/814741 "2018-05-24T17:43:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2018, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/english-irish-scots-welsh-jokes/814741/41 "2018-05-30T12:39:25Z")
Jerry Seinfeld has been there, done that: [American Express - Jerry Seinfeld - YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L8fj_Zo5x24) ---
**Author:** ![Novelty\_Bobble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Novelty\_Bobble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Novelty_Bobble)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2018, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/english-irish-scots-welsh-jokes/814741/42 "2018-05-30T17:05:43Z")
> [@bucketybuck](#): > > Oh we love having the piss ripped out of us. But I would wager that the scenario noted in the OP will be neither knowing, earnest nor funny. Got their mate to google a few paddy Irishman joke to oh so naturally insert into an act? Good luck with that. That is the tightrope that the comedian walks I guess. I agree with what you say, if it is lazily chucked in there without skill, without the right knowing wink and nod then it’ll be a problem. The audience will sniff out your intention in a heartbeat but, if done in the right way, they’ll love the most insulting jokes you can through at them at them and that holds true for audiences across Britain and Ireland. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2018, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/english-irish-scots-welsh-jokes/814741/43 "2018-05-31T07:13:02Z")
Calm down. I already said I was going to advise against it. I already **did** advise against it. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2018, 8:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/english-irish-scots-welsh-jokes/814741/44 "2018-05-31T08:31:48Z")
Pubkeeper? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2018, 8:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/english-irish-scots-welsh-jokes/814741/45 "2018-05-31T08:45:54Z")
Having spent a decent amount of time chatting with 20-something Europeans, I can say for certain that: 1. Euros like talking down Yanks. 2. Euros like Yanks who talk down Yanks. 3. Euros get shit-ass angry if a Yank talks down Euros. Pick on America and you’ll do alright. ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2018, 8:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/english-irish-scots-welsh-jokes/814741/46 "2018-05-31T08:53:43Z")
An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are in prison. One they are all sentenced to be flogged. The warden says each one can choose something to dull the pain. The Scotsman says “I’ll have a quart of Scots whisky.” The Irishman says “I’ll have a quart of Irish whiskey.” The Englishman says “I’ll have the Irishman tied onto my back.” ---
**Author:** ![PatrickLondon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/patricklondon/32/4422_2.png) [@PatrickLondon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatrickLondon)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2018, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/english-irish-scots-welsh-jokes/814741/47 "2018-05-31T11:10:54Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > The keyboard player warned me, “But nothing really offense. Or controversial. Nothing about Ireland that’s Catholic vs. Protestant. Nothing about Scotland that involves sheep. Nothing that portrays the English as ‘fairies’, and, uh, I don’t know Welsh stereotypes, but nothing too insulting about them.” I think you’ll find it’s the Welsh stereotype involves sheep. If the Scots one does, then it’s only because a Scotsman’s supposed to be too mean to pay for the real thing. For a Welshman, the stereotype would have you believe a sheep\* is \*the real thing. ---
**Author:** ![fjs1fs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9e8a1a/32.png) [@fjs1fs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fjs1fs)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2018, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/english-irish-scots-welsh-jokes/814741/48 "2018-05-31T14:30:22Z")
> [@Johanna](#): > > An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are in prison. One they are all sentenced to be flogged. The warden says each one can choose something to dull the pain. > > The Scotsman says “I’ll have a quart of Scots whisky.” > > The Irishman says “I’ll have a quart of Irish whiskey.” > > The Englishman says “I’ll have the Irishman tied onto my back.” This is the best one so far! ---
**Author:** ![PatrickLondon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/patricklondon/32/4422_2.png) [@PatrickLondon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatrickLondon)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2018, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/english-irish-scots-welsh-jokes/814741/49 "2018-05-31T14:36:48Z")
There is a Scottish joke about Scottish people. Imagine another Robinson Crusoe character on a desert island, finally visited by a passing ship. He proudly shows the ship’s captain round all the huts he’s built out of bamboo and palm leaves or whatever, pointing out his kitchen, sleeping and living quarters and even a little kirk. “And what’s that building over there?” asks the captain. “Oh, that’s the kirk I don’t go to.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/english-irish-scots-welsh-jokes/814741.md?page=2)