# English muffins are the spawn of Satan **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 7, 2003, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/english-muffins-are-the-spawn-of-satan/153466 "2003-02-07T15:10:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Caffeine.addict](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f475e1/32.png) [@Caffeine.addict](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caffeine.addict)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2003, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/english-muffins-are-the-spawn-of-satan/153466/21 "2003-02-07T17:58:28Z")
Try toasting the English muffin with the butter, some cheese and a thick pice of ham. ---
**Author:** ![sidle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee59a6/32.png) [@sidle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sidle)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2003, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/english-muffins-are-the-spawn-of-satan/153466/22 "2003-02-07T18:01:06Z")
Damn, **brujo** , that actually sounds good! ---
**Author:** ![gallows\_fodder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8c91f0/32.png) [@gallows\_fodder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gallows_fodder)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2003, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/english-muffins-are-the-spawn-of-satan/153466/23 "2003-02-07T18:10:09Z")
Sandwich of the gods: 1 lightly toasted English muffin, spread with Laughing Cow cheese 1 egg, fried over easy 2 slices of ham 1 slice of American or Provolone cheese Ohhhhh…it makes my toes curl. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2003, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/english-muffins-are-the-spawn-of-satan/153466/24 "2003-02-07T18:22:26Z")
Laughing Cow cheese? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2003, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/english-muffins-are-the-spawn-of-satan/153466/25 "2003-02-07T18:34:18Z")
That would be a brand name. ---
**Author:** ![everton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecb155/32.png) [@everton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/everton)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2003, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/english-muffins-are-the-spawn-of-satan/153466/26 "2003-02-07T21:04:49Z")
Hmm. I was trying to explain the difference between muffins and crumpets [over here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=161281). Now I think I understand why it was so hard. Both muffins and crumpets _have_ to be toasted. [Laughing Cow cheese](http://www.frencheese.co.uk/glossary/cheese.cfm/cheeseID/73) (even the French have processed cheese). ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2003, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/english-muffins-are-the-spawn-of-satan/153466/27 "2003-02-07T21:12:05Z")
God help us if you used “Mad Cow Cheese.” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![TWDuke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@TWDuke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TWDuke)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2003, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/english-muffins-are-the-spawn-of-satan/153466/28 "2003-02-07T21:22:52Z")
They absolutely must be toasted, the “nooks and crannies” really are the key. They provide texture and variation in the degree of, uh, toastiness that you just can’t get with standard sliced bread. You can get a similar effect by pulling apart a baguette and toasting the pieces under a broiler. As for bagels, they can be great when made in a proper bagel shop, or they can be round pieces of white bread with holes in the middle when made by Sara Lee. ---
**Author:** ![montana\_cricket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@montana\_cricket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/montana_cricket)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2003, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/english-muffins-are-the-spawn-of-satan/153466/29 "2003-02-07T21:25:21Z")
Oh, no no no…I **LOVE** English Muffins. My favorite way is: Toast Layer Canadian Bacon (warmed) One over easy egg on each muffin Top with Hollandaise Sauce Crispy yummy Hashbrowns on the side… MMMMMMM:D ---
**Author:** ![susan\_foster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@susan\_foster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan_foster)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2003, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/english-muffins-are-the-spawn-of-satan/153466/30 "2003-02-07T21:25:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by sidle \* > \*\*Hm. > HATE peanut butter (more spawn…) > \*\* Uh-unh - not gonna fool me. Now we know who is the spawn of satan - and it ain’t peanut butter! Peanut butter - heaven on english muffins - waffles - bread - toasted bread - anything goes better with peanut butter. Susan ---
**Author:** ![tarragon918](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d26b3c/32.png) [@tarragon918](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tarragon918)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2003, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/english-muffins-are-the-spawn-of-satan/153466/31 "2003-02-07T21:54:21Z")
Yes, what we in the USA call “English” muffins definitely have to be toasted! try them this way: toast them good (might take 2 cycles in the toaster, or 1 1/2 in a toaster over), so that they are good and crispy. slather them with butter, so that it melts down into the crevices (or nooks and crannies, as the Thomas’ ads put it! :)) then add a thin layer of orange marmelade. 🙂 NUM! ---
**Author:** ![big\_alex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e56c9b/32.png) [@big\_alex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/big_alex)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2003, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/english-muffins-are-the-spawn-of-satan/153466/32 "2003-02-07T21:59:06Z")
We have them buttered with scrambled eggs and bacon. Nice. We have crumpets with jam or lemon curd ---
**Author:** ![racer72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/racer72/32/3075_2.png) [@racer72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racer72)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2003, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/english-muffins-are-the-spawn-of-satan/153466/33 "2003-02-07T22:01:50Z")
For a true taste treat nothing beats grilled English muffins. Place a frying pan on the stove and get it nice and hot. Butter the English muffins and toss in the pan buttered side down. Using a spatula, alternately press the muffins into the pan so they soak up all the melted butter. Grill until they are nice and browned. I think they taste great alone but they taste good with any of your favorite condiments. ---
**Author:** ![sidle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee59a6/32.png) [@sidle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sidle)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/english-muffins-are-the-spawn-of-satan/153466/34 "2003-02-08T00:34:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by susan\_foster \* > \*\*Uh-unh - not gonna fool me. **Now we know who is the spawn of satan** - and it ain’t peanut butter! > Susan \*\* (bolding mine) Yup! 😃 Imagine being in grade school and DETESTING peanut butter, jelly, milk AND Oreos. not only did I often go hungry, all the other kids would hiss and cross their little fingers when I arrived! ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/english-muffins-are-the-spawn-of-satan/153466/35 "2003-02-08T01:17:16Z")
Nobody else puts tomato sauce, crumbled sausage and mozzarella cheese on theirs??😕 ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/english-muffins-are-the-spawn-of-satan/153466/36 "2003-02-08T02:47:11Z")
I’ve done that, **NinetyWt**. Well, almost. Tomato, or spaghetti, ot pizza sauce and some kind of shredded cheese (whatever is in the fridge–mozzarella, cheddar, monterey jack) and oregano and/or italian seasoning and/or garlic powder. Haven’t used crumbled sausage, though. They’re also good toasted with butter and strawberry preserves on 'em. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/english-muffins-are-the-spawn-of-satan/153466/37 "2003-02-08T04:33:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by even sven \* > \*\*What’s really good- for you vegetarians out there- is to stick a toasted chick patty and lots of mustard (and maybe cheese and lettuce and stuff if your feeling fancy) in beteen the two halves of an English muffin and eat it for lunch. \*\* Where do I meet this toasted chick Patty? Multiple other questions mentally abound, and will go unposted. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/english-muffins-are-the-spawn-of-satan/153466/38 "2003-02-08T13:07:03Z")
Oy! Crumpets are’t evil! Neither, for that matter, are English muffins. Both exist, in my opinion, to be slathered with jam and either devon double cream or butter. Homemade strawberry jam, of course. _Of course_ crumpets are spongey. They’re little jam-soaking-up-sponges! It’s their purpose! (Too many exclamation points!..) ---
**Author:** ![Tupug\_Anachi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@Tupug\_Anachi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tupug_Anachi)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/english-muffins-are-the-spawn-of-satan/153466/39 "2003-02-08T13:28:09Z")
Gak! Did I hear somebody say slice an English Muffin??? Horrors!!! Thomas’ are fork-split and should be gently eased apart before toasting and butter slathering. some text Snort! ---
**Author:** ![Tupug\_Anachi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@Tupug\_Anachi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tupug_Anachi)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/english-muffins-are-the-spawn-of-satan/153466/40 "2003-02-08T13:32:20Z")
Blech! That was supposed to be :rolleyes: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/english-muffins-are-the-spawn-of-satan/153466.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/english-muffins-are-the-spawn-of-satan/153466.md?page=3)