# English Showers (Bathroom not April) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 23, 2005, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/english-showers-bathroom-not-april/300767 "2005-04-23T16:25:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2005, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/english-showers-bathroom-not-april/300767/1 "2005-04-23T16:25:14Z")
OK, I know English plumbing tends to be bad because buildings tend to be older etc etc. We’ve done the topic before. But fer fucks sake this is getting me down. I would be more confident of finding a shower that had hot water, enough water, and was reasonably adjustable in a free of charge Australian camping ground than in a $300 a night English hotel. So far on this trip I’ve come across a shower that produced little water, a shower that went from scalding to freezing if you so much as touched the adjustments, and a shower that could do no better than tepid (there was plenty of hot water, the bath was fine, but the shower? Nope). Two out of three showers were in new or recently totally refurbished properties. All three had adjusting systems that I’d never seen before and required you to read the instructions to operate. One was in a property that specifically advertised that it had good showers. (You know you’re in England when you see an ad like that: anywhere else it would be like advertising a hotel rooms on the basis they had fucking beds). I lived in the UK for three years. I know that my experience on this trip is not anomalous. It’s not hard, chaps. It’s not rocket science. Come out to Oz or take a trip to the States. We may be damned colonials, but at least we can install a hot water system and shower that fucking _works_ in every home and hotel (probably for a price somewhat less than you Limeys would pay for a round of fucking _pints_, I shouldn’t wonder, an’ all). ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2005, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/english-showers-bathroom-not-april/300767/2 "2005-04-23T16:37:52Z")
Oh, man, do I ever agree. Basic shower features are not a difficult concept. One knob is hot, the other knob is cold. _One knob is hot, the other knob is cold!_ This is not a system that needs further refinement! Last time I was in London, I half-flooded the bathroom in my hotel room just trying to get the bizarre one-knob shower to provide water that was neither hypothermia-inducing cold nor scald-the-flesh-from-your-bones hot. I was ultimatly unsuccesful, and as a result, no longer have flesh on my bones. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2005, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/english-showers-bathroom-not-april/300767/3 "2005-04-23T17:10:21Z")
Nothing makes you feel like a vulnerable foreigner more than standing there naked alternately scalding and freezing yourself, if you can get the damned thing on in the _first_ place after you figure out the New Hip Control System, also with your travelling companion outside the door yelling “Did you get it on yet?” But they do sometimes have those towel warming radiator things, those are nice when you climb shivering out of the shower because that’s a better alternative than fucking scalding yourself. ---
**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2005, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/english-showers-bathroom-not-april/300767/4 "2005-04-23T17:27:46Z")
Hate to say, I have had the same experience in famous New York hotels… maybe it’s just an old-construction thing… or maybe living in such densely populated areas desensitizes people to all comforts? ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2005, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/english-showers-bathroom-not-april/300767/5 "2005-04-23T17:57:50Z")
I was happily taking a shower in a hotel near the park in London when I heard someone pounding on the door to the room. I climbed out and answered the door, to find an agitated bellhop guy telling me that I was flooding the kitchen. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2005, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/english-showers-bathroom-not-april/300767/6 "2005-04-23T18:23:17Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > …with your travelling companion outside the door yelling “Did you get it on yet?” If your travelling companion is outside the door, how on earth _could_ you get it on? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2005, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/english-showers-bathroom-not-april/300767/7 "2005-04-23T18:56:20Z")
> [@BrotherCadfael](#): > > If your travelling companion is outside the door, how on earth _could_ you get it on? Really. That’s what the fucking bed is for. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2005, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/english-showers-bathroom-not-april/300767/8 "2005-04-23T19:06:47Z")
My travelling companion tends to be my mother’s 64-year-old friend Dottie. Getting it on is far more profitably approached alone while on these trips. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2005, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/english-showers-bathroom-not-april/300767/9 "2005-04-23T19:08:53Z")
> [@BrotherCadfael](#): > > If your travelling companion is outside the door, how on earth _could_ you get it on? I am reminded of an old Hembeck cartoon. The Invisible Woman is on “The Newlywed Game”: “What’s the most unusual place you’ve made whoopee?” “The kitchen and the bedroom.” “Er, we need one answer.” “That **is** one answer – I was in the kitchen, Reed was in the bedroom…” ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2005, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/english-showers-bathroom-not-april/300767/10 "2005-04-23T22:48:05Z")
Hey, **Princhester** , why do you think we Aussies call splashing on deodorant (instead of bathing) a “Pommy shower”? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2005, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/english-showers-bathroom-not-april/300767/11 "2005-04-24T16:17:19Z")
France had its own plumbing eccentricities. Most showers were not showers per se, but a shower head on a flexible tube which one used while sitting in the bathtub. Additionally, the bathtubs were designed for skinny French heinies, and not for fat American rumps. When a chunky American sits in a French bathtubful of water, he creates a substantial water barrier, a canal lock, as it were. If you stay seated in the tub while the water drains, you’ll experience the interesting phenomenon of retaining a reservoir of water behind your back long after the water around your legs is gone. This creates a neat tidal wave when you stand up! ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2005, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/english-showers-bathroom-not-april/300767/12 "2005-04-24T16:39:13Z")
I think a large part of the problem is the conservatism of the UK’s plumbers. My father used to work for a Brit-owned corporation, and as such had a number of English cow-orkers. One of them recently chose to move back to the UK after having spent his professional life here in the States. Upon returning to the family home they found that, well, it was unsatisfactory. It had only one W.C. and they had the funds to do something about this. So he and his wife hire a plumber and contractor to install a toilet in a small downstairs closet. During the work they had to nearly threaten force to get the people they’d hired to stop trying to convince them to stop wasting money, since ‘No one really needs a second loo in the house.’ ---
**Author:** ![Tabby\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tabby\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tabby_Cat)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2005, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/english-showers-bathroom-not-april/300767/13 "2005-04-24T16:47:22Z")
Heh. Feelin’ kinda lucky here. 😃 In London, shower works fine, and the management warns us if they’re going to meddle with the hot water system. I find that sometimes I need to run the taps a while before the hot water really gets running at night, though. Now, the LIME SCALE, on the other hand… :mad: ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2005, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/english-showers-bathroom-not-april/300767/14 "2005-04-24T19:38:21Z")
> [@mhendo](#): > > Hey, **Princhester** , why do you think we Aussies call splashing on deodorant (instead of bathing) a “Pommy shower”? 😃 I’ve always heard that one as “Polish shower.” ---
**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2005, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/english-showers-bathroom-not-april/300767/15 "2005-04-24T20:30:00Z")
So the jokes about English hygiene are true? ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2005, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/english-showers-bathroom-not-april/300767/16 "2005-04-24T20:54:59Z")
> [@neuroman](#): > > I’ve always heard that one as “Polish shower.” I guess that reflects the way that stereotypes and prejudice works. For Australians, the English (pommies) have often been the butt of jokes; in other parts of the world, it’s the Polish, or the Irish, or whoever. Actually, on this topic of English hygeine, i also recall a cartoon that used to do the rounds at one place i worked. It showed a man standing naked and urinating into a fan, which then blew the urine back over his body. The cartoon was entitled “Pommy Shower.” Finally, in case anyone feels this issue needs clarification, i lived in England for two years and found that English personal hygeine was just as good as anywhere else. ---
**Author:** ![E.Thorp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@E.Thorp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E.Thorp)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2005, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/english-showers-bathroom-not-april/300767/17 "2005-04-24T21:43:48Z")
> [@neuroman](#): > > I’ve always heard that one as “Polish shower.” My German father calls it a “French bath.” I’m afraid to ask what the French call it. ---
**Author:** ![Jervoise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d2c977/32.png) [@Jervoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jervoise)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2005, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/english-showers-bathroom-not-april/300767/18 "2005-04-25T06:49:13Z")
I share the OP’s pain. I live in a London flat that’s not much older than a decade. When I moved in, I had to strip out the old shower and install a new system. It was either that off suffer in the old shower, which was either freezing or flesh-stripping hot. An Aussie friend of mine refuses to shower in her flat, so she takes off to the gym every morning to use their showers. OTOH, I was in France at Easter. The place we were staying didn’t have hot/cold taps – just a big push button that you had to keep pressing to get water. There was no temperature cold, so depending on the time of the day it was either freezing (not nice after a day of skiing), or unbearably hot. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2005, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/english-showers-bathroom-not-april/300767/19 "2005-04-25T06:57:32Z")
> [@E. Thorp](#): > > My German father calls it a “French bath.” I’m afraid to ask what the French call it. When I was in England, I heard it called a “Paki Bath” on more than one occasion. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2005, 8:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/english-showers-bathroom-not-april/300767/20 "2005-04-25T08:26:15Z")
I think we actually have some kind of deep-rooted cultural sense of self-loathing that prevents us from installing anything in our houses that would be _too comfortable_; to do so would be the top end of a slippery slope leading to dangerous softening of the stiff upper lip and catastrophic erosion of the moral fibre. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/english-showers-bathroom-not-april/300767.md?page=2)