# Enlarge your mangina! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 29, 2004, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enlarge-your-mangina/242598 "2004-04-29T01:07:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enlarge-your-mangina/242598/1 "2004-04-29T01:07:46Z")
Saw this one in the latest batch of spam I cleaned out of my inbox. Now, I’ve gotten plenty of offers for breast enlargement, which I don’t want, because I’m a guy and my breasts are already too damn big as it is. And I’ve got plenty of offers for penis enlargement, which I have carefully saved and filed for future use. But this is the first time any one has ever offered to enlarge my mangina. Raises all sorts of questions, though, doesn’t it? Such as, is a larger mangina really all that desireable? Generally speaking, wouldn’t you want a _smaller_ one? That seems to be the popular wisdom with _va_ginas, anyway. Heck, wouldn’t most female-to-male transsexuals want to get rid of it altogether? Sort of the whole point of gender reassignment, right? Do they also send out spam with the title, “She-Males! Increase beard stubble growth by 50% in only two weeks!” So, of course, I clicked on the e-mail. How could I not? Apparently, the spam was a gift from a friend. Which is odd, because I’m pretty sure any friends I have who would care enough about me to be concerned about the size of my mangina should also know that I do not, in fact, _have_ a mangina. At least, I think they know. It’s not like it’s ever come up in conversation before. I’ll have to make a point of mentioning this fact to everyone I know from now on. Casual-like, of course. Just slip it in subtly. “Hey, Miller, how about them Broncos?” “Pretty good! I think they could go all the way, this year. Incidentally, I don’t have a mangina.” Something like that. Further troubling news: the friend who sent me the spam is using the product himself. Now I’m not going to be able to sleep until I can figure out which of my friends has a mangina, and why he’d think I have one, too. I’m not at all sure how I can go about discovering this, though. I’m thinking of installing pressure sensors in my toilet seat and throwing a beer blast, to see which of my friends is sitting down to pee. Or I could just ask. Whoever it is, they don’t seem to be shy about having one: they CC’d the e-mail to about fifty other people, all with e-mail addresses oddly similar to mine. Kind of wierd. What are the chances of knowing someone whose e-mail is [machume@hotmail.com](mailto:machume@hotmail.com) _and_ someone whose e-mail is [gachume@hotmail.com](mailto:gachume@hotmail.com)? Especially if the two people don’t know each other? Still, stranger things have happened. I was curious as to exactly how the product works. The title of the spam promised “no medication,” so I assume the enlargement works through some mechanical means. The e-mail did include a handy picture of what their product looks like when it is placed in a box and wrapped up with brown paper and twine. Good to know what to look for when it shows up on my doorstep, but not hugely instructive as to its actual function. The spam promises to increase a mangina by as much as three inches in less than ninety days. Doesn’t say in which direction, though. Length? Width? Diameter? Now, as I mentioned earlier, I don’t have a mangina, but I think that if I were to increase the size of any orifice on my body by as much as three inches, I’m damn well going to _want_ some medication. On the rocks with a squirt of seltzer, at the very least. Frankly, at this point, I was starting to doubt the veracity of the whole spam. But then I saw the text at the very bottom: “As seen on NBC, CBS, CNN, and FOX.” Which seemed to be exactly the proof of legitimacy I needed. Unfortunetly, though, this only raised more questions. Like, “Should FOX be in all caps like that? It’s not an anagram like the other three networks.” Also, “_How_ was it seen on those networks? Was the story, ‘Fifteen dead in tragic mangina enlargement disaster?’” Because that might make me somewhat disinclined to order the product. ---
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enlarge-your-mangina/242598/2 "2004-04-29T01:15:03Z")
Heh. Makes me think of the **State** sketch with Mr. Magina, the health teacher. ---
**Author:** ![Zulema](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/db5fbb/32.png) [@Zulema](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zulema)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enlarge-your-mangina/242598/3 "2004-04-29T01:21:42Z")
here ya go, “mangina ; when a guy pulls his dick and balls back between his legs (forming a basket of fruit behind him) and then putting his legs together to simulate the look of a vagina” ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enlarge-your-mangina/242598/4 "2004-04-29T01:28:53Z")
At least it isn’t stock market tips. ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enlarge-your-mangina/242598/5 "2004-04-29T01:38:46Z")
I get most of my World News from the subject field of my Yahoo mail account. Today I learned that: - Dark choco _titties_ searching for some of your cream! - Tiffany squirts when she o rgasms - Cecelia wants to do the nasty with fish - yes grandma will be good ---
**Author:** ![LadySybil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c89c15/32.png) [@LadySybil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LadySybil)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enlarge-your-mangina/242598/6 "2004-04-29T01:56:02Z")
Am I the only one who thought this was a goatse reference? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![fluffball86\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/91b2a8/32.png) [@fluffball86\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fluffball86_1)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enlarge-your-mangina/242598/7 "2004-04-29T04:46:29Z")
I haven’t gotten that spam email yet. That was very funny. You should create a dummy email acount and send it to everyone you know. Several times. Make a couple hard copies and mail it to friends/enemies/aquatences/etc. Though for the first half of your post I thought that you were spelling Vagina wrong, then I realized Man-gina ---
**Author:** ![county](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ce7236/32.png) [@county](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/county)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enlarge-your-mangina/242598/8 "2004-04-29T05:09:28Z")
Isn’t that what afflicts vice president Cheney? ---
**Author:** ![Jervoise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d2c977/32.png) [@Jervoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jervoise)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enlarge-your-mangina/242598/9 "2004-04-29T07:45:04Z")
[Deuce Bigalow] You’re the best mangina in my he-stable! [/Deuce Bigalow] ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enlarge-your-mangina/242598/10 "2004-04-29T08:05:17Z")
“…and I put cold water right on his – _area_. And you know what happens when you put cold water on men there, it just goes UP IN THE TREEHOUSE! It’s GONE. And you’re left with a mangina. … That really is the best word to describe it. Maybe you’ll be able to use it in a crossword puzzle someday.” - Margaret Cho So I guess we know where the word came from now. ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enlarge-your-mangina/242598/11 "2004-04-29T11:20:17Z")
> [@](#): > > tragic mangina enlargement disaster BAND NAME! ---
**Author:** ![Capt\_B.Phart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc29f/32.png) [@Capt\_B.Phart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt_B.Phart)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enlarge-your-mangina/242598/12 "2004-04-29T11:37:02Z")
The one that caught my eye was:- “wen beastiality goes wrong!” Goes wrong? How much wronger can it go? or is it a blooper show from the more specialist end of the porn biz? alas - I shall never know. ---
**Author:** ![LilyoftheValley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/54ee81/32.png) [@LilyoftheValley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LilyoftheValley)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enlarge-your-mangina/242598/13 "2004-04-29T14:34:17Z")
> [@Dooku](#): > > I get most of my World News from the subject field of my Yahoo mail account. > > Today I learned that: > > - Dark choco _titties_ searching for some of your cream! > - Tiffany squirts when she o rgasms > - Cecelia wants to do the nasty with fish > - yes grandma will be good Interesting…I usually get questions from the subject field. Yesterday, I got: “Are 18y.o. good to fuck?” I thought about replying with the url of the GQ section of SDMB, since that’s where _I_ go when I have difficult questions like that… ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enlarge-your-mangina/242598/14 "2004-04-29T15:05:58Z")
The latest trend in my inbox is to get mail from people with very interesting names. Latest G. Astrophysics Entwined Q. Ombudsman Zephyr T. Jumping I’d send angry e-mail back, but I figure that these people probably got teased a lot in school. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enlarge-your-mangina/242598/15 "2004-04-29T15:25:21Z")
> [@SP2263](#): > > here ya go, > > “mangina ; when a guy pulls his dick and balls back between his legs (forming a basket of fruit behind him) and then putting his legs together to simulate the look of a vagina” I do not understand the logical coherence of enlarging something that is not there. ---
**Author:** ![KidCharlemagne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed8c4c/32.png) [@KidCharlemagne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KidCharlemagne)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enlarge-your-mangina/242598/16 "2004-04-29T15:28:41Z")
> [@Jervoise](#): > > [Deuce Bigalow] > > You’re the best mangina in my he-stable! > > [/Deuce Bigalow] I believe the line is: “Damn! You’re the best he-bitch in my man-stable. Two more manginas like you and I be a miyonaire!” And just cuz I love this line: “You’re the motherfucker that ASS-punched my hooker!” ---
**Author:** ![KidCharlemagne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed8c4c/32.png) [@KidCharlemagne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KidCharlemagne)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enlarge-your-mangina/242598/17 "2004-04-29T15:31:53Z")
> [@SP2263](#): > > here ya go, > > “mangina ; when a guy pulls his dick and balls back between his legs (forming a basket of fruit behind him) and then putting his legs together to simulate the look of a vagina” I always thought that a mangina was a man’s butthole. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enlarge-your-mangina/242598/18 "2004-04-29T15:39:19Z")
"Price check on aisle two for Mangisil… that’s M-A-N-G-I-S-I-L" ---
**Author:** ![bdgr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a87d85/32.png) [@bdgr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bdgr)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enlarge-your-mangina/242598/19 "2004-04-29T20:56:31Z")
> [@county](#): > > Isn’t that what afflicts vice president Cheney? No, I think that would be “sociopathic personality disorder” ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enlarge-your-mangina/242598/20 "2004-04-29T21:22:15Z")
You people are sick. Enlarged manginas often lead to chronic neurological damage and often death! To so blithely mock this condition in this fashion, and to simply dismiss an obviously malevolent spam-email which offers to spread manginitis in the guise of some marital aid is the height of callousness. I lost a very close friend to bacterial manginitis, so please excuse me if I seem a little touchy. I know this is the Pit and all, but please people, try and show a little sensitivity. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enlarge-your-mangina/242598.md?page=2)