# Enough with the fuckin' dog stories!!
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-fuckin-dog-stories/671797
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [October 21, 2013, 8:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-fuckin-dog-stories/671797 "2013-10-21T08:40:08Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Peanuthead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peanuthead)
#### Post date: [October 21, 2013, 8:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-fuckin-dog-stories/671797/1 "2013-10-21T08:40:08Z")
Who in the hell decided that dog stories are news? Every night on every channel the local news has to run a fucking dog story. This is not news. I don’t give a shit if Fido can fetch you soda pop from the fridge. I don’t give a rat’s ass if Fifi can howl while you play the Star Spangled Banner on your toy xylophone. I don’t give a wet fart if your goddamn mutt got lost and found his way home after 2 weeks. Who the fuck cares?!!! I have a bird who whistles La Cucaracha. Is that on the news? No! Of course not. Why? Because nobody gives a flying fuck, that’s why! So why the hell should anybody give a damn about some canine with a penchant for cat food?
The economy has gone to shit. The government has had to shut down. Japan is leaking radioactivity. Iran is creating radioactivity. There are hurricanes, tornados, mudslides and wildfires all over the country. So I turn on the TV to watch the news and what do I see? A fucking dog that adopted a rabbit! I DON’T GIVE A SHIT!!! Dog stories are not news damnit! If I want to see cutesy ass dog stories I’ll go to YouTube. There’s tons of that shit there. But, goddamnit, it’s not news!
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### Author:  [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)
#### Post date: [October 21, 2013, 8:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-fuckin-dog-stories/671797/2 "2013-10-21T08:58:02Z")
For what it’s worth, I suspect many of the journalists involved in said canine stories probably agree with you. I further suspect they do as their editor/producer tells them to, since that’s a key requisite to retaining their jobs.
As to why those stories are news: Lots of people do like turning on the news and seeing a cute animal story to finish on a positive note. It’s like an after dinner mint to to remove the strong taste of depressing actual news.
Just be glad your country’s major news website hasn’t turned into a Buzzfeed/Reddit clone…
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### Author:  [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)
#### Post date: [October 21, 2013, 10:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-fuckin-dog-stories/671797/3 "2013-10-21T10:26:57Z")
I’d like to complain: I thought this thread would show dogs making love. 😉
Seriously, of course it’s not news.
However it’s popular and (as Martini said) means viewers are happy by the end of the news, so they are more likely to **watch the following adverts**.
Which makes the TV channel money.
So it’s **never** going to stop (unless they throw in a few cute cat tales :eek: )
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### Author:  [@Sudden\_Kestrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sudden_Kestrel)
#### Post date: [October 21, 2013, 10:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-fuckin-dog-stories/671797/4 "2013-10-21T10:27:23Z")
Hell, I’d be happy to see a dog story on the news. Our news shows have universally adopted the pattern of:
Tragic death story #1
Tragic death story #2
Commercial for network shows
Tragic death story #3
Preview of weather
Tragic death story #4
Commercial about how great their news show is
Military hero story
15 minutes of weather
12 minutes of sports
Heartwarming child-starts-a-charity story **OR** heart-rending child-needs-forever-home story.
Fuck the mess in Washington! Fuck climate change! Let’s give these people some glurge!
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### Author:  [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)
#### Post date: [October 21, 2013, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-fuckin-dog-stories/671797/5 "2013-10-21T10:50:36Z")
What we need is more cat stories. Fair and balanced, you know?
The OP identifies very important and serious topics. Even though I have a softness for the occasional human (or dog) interest story, I think those topics should need to be discussed. However, I’m under no delusion that boring Ma and Pa Kettle with yet another report about Japan’s radiation problem is going to change much…except maybe make them dislike the idea of nuclear energy even more than they already do.
Most of what’s reported in the news is sensational tripe anyway. At least dog stories make people feel good.
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### Author:  [@Archeonomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Archeonomist)
#### Post date: [October 21, 2013, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-fuckin-dog-stories/671797/6 "2013-10-21T11:00:16Z")
Man sees something on television that doesn’t interest him. Hold the front page!
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### Author:  [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)
#### Post date: [October 21, 2013, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-fuckin-dog-stories/671797/7 "2013-10-21T11:16:25Z")
Your first mistake is to believe that television news, especially local news, is intended to provide information to allow the public to make educated decisions about their world.
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### Author:  [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)
#### Post date: [October 21, 2013, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-fuckin-dog-stories/671797/8 "2013-10-21T11:54:09Z")
> [@monstro](#):
>
> What we need is more cat stories. Fair and balanced, you know?
Or stories of, say, a dog that senses when its owner is about to have a seizure— then stares stupidly at the owner writhing on the floor, licks its own balls and runs away.
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### Author:  [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)
#### Post date: [October 21, 2013, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-fuckin-dog-stories/671797/9 "2013-10-21T12:46:12Z")
Fuckin reporters will not leave me alone.
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### Author:  [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)
#### Post date: [October 21, 2013, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-fuckin-dog-stories/671797/10 "2013-10-21T12:57:59Z")
I hear Indian TV is full of stories about elephants doing cute things. Or stomping villagers into pancakes.
But some facets of TV news are the same the world over.
“Nice weather we’re having. But big changes are on the way! Could there be blizzards, dust storms, mudslides and hails of frogs in our future? Stay tuned!!!”
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### Author:  [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)
#### Post date: [October 21, 2013, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-fuckin-dog-stories/671797/11 "2013-10-21T13:01:16Z")
Ah, it could be worse. It could be fox news.
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### Author:  [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)
#### Post date: [October 21, 2013, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-fuckin-dog-stories/671797/12 "2013-10-21T13:06:37Z")
Why do you need some plastic-faced drone to read someone else’s curated idea of “news” to you?
If there was an all-dog-story channel, maybe TV would be worth a fuck. Reading about news events makes sense. Reading about a dog opening a soda bottle is dumb when I could see video of it, so TV is the perfect place for it.
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### Author:  [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)
#### Post date: [October 21, 2013, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-fuckin-dog-stories/671797/13 "2013-10-21T13:38:59Z")
Can you provide a link to a couple of these local news broadcasts? I’d be interested in how your community handled the ‘dog that adopted a rabbit’ story.
As always, I thank you in advance for any inconvenience you encounter for the sake of a spirited yet rigorous discussion.
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### Author:  [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)
#### Post date: [October 21, 2013, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-fuckin-dog-stories/671797/14 "2013-10-21T13:42:30Z")
When I first read this thread’s title, I thought, ‘‘Oh no, someone’s complaining about the number of dog stories here on the SDMB. Aww, but I like reading about those.’’ But yeah, I can understand being annoyed at that kind of thing if it’s on the news all the time.
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### Author:  [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)
#### Post date: [October 21, 2013, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-fuckin-dog-stories/671797/15 "2013-10-21T13:43:14Z")
> [@AnaMen](#):
>
> Why do you need some plastic-faced drone to read someone else’s curated idea of “news” to you?
> If there was an all-dog-story channel, maybe TV would be worth a fuck. Reading about news events makes sense. Reading about a dog opening a soda bottle is dumb when I could see video of it, so TV is the perfect place for it.
Come on, say it. We know you’re itching to.
“I don’t even _own_ a TV!” _\_
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### Author:  [@JuliaSqueezer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JuliaSqueezer)
#### Post date: [October 21, 2013, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-fuckin-dog-stories/671797/16 "2013-10-21T13:45:07Z")
> [@Sudden\_Kestrel](#):
>
> Hell, I’d be happy to see a dog story on the news. Our news shows have universally adopted the pattern of:
>
> Tragic death story #1
> Tragic death story #2
> Commercial for network shows
> Tragic death story #3
> Preview of weather
> Tragic death story #4
> Commercial about how great their news show is
> Military hero story
> 15 minutes of weather
> 12 minutes of sports
> Heartwarming child-starts-a-charity story **OR** heart-rending child-needs-forever-home story.
>
> Fuck the mess in Washington! Fuck climate change! Let’s give these people some glurge!
Yesterday’s 6pm news in Detroit consisted almost entirely of sports. Tigers rehash, Lions rehash, Red Wings rehash, Free Press-SomeBank marathon rehash. Reporters standing in empty stadiums and on empty streets. Then a brief weather report and a report about a policeman shot in action back in April who passed away. Then a quick recap of the day’s sports. Fade out, the end.
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### Author:  [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)
#### Post date: [October 21, 2013, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-fuckin-dog-stories/671797/17 "2013-10-21T14:00:37Z")
> [@glee](#):
>
> I’d like to complain: I thought this thread would show dogs making love. 😉
Yeah, OP really screwed the pooch.
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### Author:  [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)
#### Post date: [October 21, 2013, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-fuckin-dog-stories/671797/18 "2013-10-21T14:23:15Z")
> [@EmilyG](#):
>
> When I first read this thread’s title, I thought, ‘‘Oh no, someone’s complaining about the number of dog stories here on the SDMB. Aww, but I like reading about those.’’ But yeah, I can understand being annoyed at that kind of thing if it’s on the news all the time.
I was thinking the same thing…just don’t open the thread!
As for me, I don’t watch local news UNLESS there is a dog related story. Mostly because I don’t watch local news, but sometimes they come down to the shelter where I volunteer and talk about a specific dog or cat in need or whatever.
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### Author:  [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)
#### Post date: [October 21, 2013, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-fuckin-dog-stories/671797/19 "2013-10-21T14:25:45Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#):
>
> Come on, say it. We know you’re itching to.
>
> “I don’t even _own_ a TV!” _\_
I own a TV, but I don’t have cable because I could never find anything to watch and would just give up in frustration after fruitless sessions of effort.
I love television as a concept and used to happily spend hours enjoying it. Then I worked a job where I was basically on-call every minute, so I gave up watching television because of the constant interruption. I’ve never managed to get back in step with it, though I am certain there are many shows I would enjoy, if only I could find them.
The crap they try to pass off as “news” seems surreally absurd, and I don’t mean the dog stories, which are charming.
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### Author:  [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)
#### Post date: [October 21, 2013, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-fuckin-dog-stories/671797/20 "2013-10-21T14:34:48Z")
I get my news on the radio and never watch TV. They don’t seem to have many useless stories on the radio news (dog-related or otherwise.)
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