# Enough with the Fuckin' Vampires **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 17, 2010, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-fuckin-vampires/547001 "2010-07-17T06:28:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Fish\_Nya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@Fish\_Nya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish_Nya)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-fuckin-vampires/547001/81 "2010-07-20T05:39:52Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > šŸ˜• That makes no sense at all! Who sleeps on pillows full of blood?! (I mean, you know, other than me.) It comes from a scene in the forth book when Bella (the human girl) and Edward (the vampire) finally have sex. Edward loses control and doesnā€™t realize his strength. He bruises and scratches Bella. He also bites and rips the pillows. And that I know this much is sad. Iā€™ve only read the first book, but find reading _about_ the books so interesting and horrifying I canā€™t stop. ---
**Author:** ![SpaceDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spacedog/32/9932_2.png) [@SpaceDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpaceDog)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-fuckin-vampires/547001/82 "2010-07-20T06:10:32Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > You might expect TVTropes to have a ā€œVampireā€ page . . . but you would be wrong. It has [a whole **directory** of ā€œVampire Tropesā€ pages.](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/VampireTropes) > > (I am creeping silently to your monitor . . . I am slowly draining your time . . . Do not resist . . .) Dammit. Why must you post a TVTropes link ā€¦ Iā€™m trying to work here. I was failing hard without that sort of time suck just sitting there winking at me. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-fuckin-vampires/547001/83 "2010-07-20T14:27:21Z")
I endorse this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-fuckin-vampires/547001/84 "2010-07-20T14:59:25Z")
> [@Kobal2](#): > > How about vampire [pumpkins](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vampire_pumpkins_and_watermelons)? That lame enough for ya ? Wow, that is indeed, awesome. It also reminds me of the best depiction of a vampire Iā€™ve ever read. _Bunnicula_. Anyone remember [Bunnicula](http://www.amazon.com/Bunnicula-Rabbit-Tale-Mystery-Deborah-Howe/dp/1416928170/ref=pd_sim_b_2)? ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-fuckin-vampires/547001/85 "2010-07-20T15:01:10Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > It also reminds me of the best depiction of a vampire Iā€™ve ever read. _Bunnicula_. Anyone remember [Bunnicula](http://www.amazon.com/Bunnicula-Rabbit-Tale-Mystery-Deborah-Howe/dp/1416928170/ref=pd_sim_b_2)? The Celery Stalks At Midnight! ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-fuckin-vampires/547001/86 "2010-07-20T16:14:06Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > Twivampsā€¦ I will subscribe to this neologism only if it is agreed that the I is pronounced with an ā€œeeā€ sound. šŸ™‚ ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-fuckin-vampires/547001/87 "2010-07-20T16:18:50Z")
> [@Polycarp](#): > > I will subscribe to this neologism only if it is agreed that the I is pronounced with an ā€œeeā€ sound. šŸ™‚ Well, I always suspected that **SkipMagic** was a vampire, what with the blindingly pale skin. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-fuckin-vampires/547001/88 "2010-07-20T16:20:12Z")
NT ā€“ duplicated another personā€™s post ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-fuckin-vampires/547001/89 "2010-07-20T16:28:03Z")
> [@Justin\_Bailey](#): > > **BigT** already covered the ā€œgood vamps donā€™tā€ theory, but I mostly find the differences between Edward and Angel amusing. Angel gets his blood from a butcher that he keeps in the fridge and drinks out of a travel mug like some kind of yuppie vampire latte. Edward kills a bear with his bare hands and drains it because he feels that if thereā€™s no challenge to the hunt (i.e., he could die if he fails), he doesnā€™t deserve blood. > > Which oneā€™s the sissy? If weā€™re going to be pointing out how badass Twivamps are, I can tell you something my sister (who actually read the books) told me. You know how you kill a Twivamp? You donā€™t just stick a pencil in its heart. You rip it into pieces and then burn the remains lest they reform. Anyways, the problem with Twivamps is that they are OVER-powered, not sissies. They are each essentially superheroes or supervillains. They even get an extra power when they are formed. Like Edwardā€™s reading minds, or Aliceā€™s seeing into the future. They have almost all of the powers without any of the drawbacks. They even have a conscience or soul. I still wonder what happened that suddenly made everyone go from them being too overpowered (and thus not real vampires) to being sissies. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-fuckin-vampires/547001/90 "2010-07-20T19:20:24Z")
> [@Lucky\_13](#): > > I wish all those people who wish a vampire would come and bite them because vampires are OMGsohot would realize that the vampire would just think of them as a meal, nothing more. Thereā€™s an episode of Buffy like thatā€“a group of kids who pretty much worship vampires. An old friend of Buffyā€™s is involved with them. It seems that the kids have a plan to have a vampire come pay a visit and turn them all. But it turns out that Buffyā€™s old friend is dying, and heā€™s arranged to trade all the others to the vampires as food, in exchange for them just turning him. > [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > But I recently started watching the _Buffy_ series and love it. Thatā€™s because Joss Whedon is a tiny god. > [@Ale](#): > > Edward, the sexy hot vampire also happens to be a hundred or so year old creep that dates a high school teenager. When a couple of people I know were raving about the books, I got them, just so that I wouldnā€™t be the person sitting here saying ā€œgod those suckā€ without actually having read them. So, I can officially say: The \*Twilight \*books are not only terribly written; theyā€™re also some of \*the \*most disgustingly sexist things Iā€™ve ever read. Among my favorite lessons: sexual assault is cute, and rape happens because women are beautiful. > [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > I thought, ā€˜ā€˜The only thing lamer than a vampire is a hopping vampire.ā€™ā€™ I almost spat all over my keyboard. > [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > Anyone remember [Bunnicula](http://www.amazon.com/Bunnicula-Rabbit-Tale-Mystery-Deborah-Howe/dp/1416928170/ref=pd_sim_b_2)? Hellllllllllllllllls yes, woman! ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-fuckin-vampires/547001/91 "2010-07-20T20:22:56Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > Anyways, the problem with Twivamps is that they are OVER-powered, not sissies. They are each essentially superheroes or supervillains. They even get an extra power when they are formed. Like Edwardā€™s reading minds, or Aliceā€™s seeing into the future. They have almost all of the powers without any of the drawbacks. They even have a conscience or soul. Which is what makes them sissies, or at the very least Mary-Sues. Whatā€™s the point of a hero with all powers, no weakness ? Itā€™s just boring. The sissy part starts with the sparkling and wangst over teenage girls. If you do have unmitigated superpowers, fight crime, solve the energy crisis, destroy the Red Russian army on your own or save the Earth from ancient eldritch forces. At the very least, be in a rock band. But for godā€™s sake, donā€™t move back to frickinā€™ high school to bone jailbait ! Whatā€™s the matter with you ?! ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-fuckin-vampires/547001/92 "2010-07-20T21:32:44Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > In every folkloric version of vampirism with which I am acquainted, vampires are disgusting undead creatures. All that varies is just _how_ disgusting. Basically like zombies are depicted today except nocturnal. I watch _TRUE BLOOD_ but doubt Iā€™d be at all interested if it didnā€™t have copious nudity from good looking guys. I really donā€™t understand the seemingly immortal popularity of the way overpopulated genre, but I swear it must be almost hard to submit a vampire novel and not get published. I think the last good vampire movie was [Shadow of the Vampire](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0189998/), and even that one the silent film setting helped tremendously. ---
**Author:** ![tnetennba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tnetennba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tnetennba)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-fuckin-vampires/547001/93 "2010-07-20T23:06:25Z")
The Swedish movie LET THE RIGHT ONE IN was fantastic. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2010, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-fuckin-vampires/547001/94 "2010-07-20T23:22:41Z")
Weā€™ve gone from Dracula, where the vampire creeps in to the womanā€™s room to seduce her, to Twilight, where the vampire more or less creeps into the womanā€™s room to not seduce her. The taste of forbidden lust has been replaced by the taste of forbidden chastity. What is it with kids today, and what the hell did we start the sexual revolution for anyway? ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2010, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-fuckin-vampires/547001/95 "2010-07-21T03:07:28Z")
> [@Kobal2](#): > > How about vampire [pumpkins](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vampire_pumpkins_and_watermelons)? That lame enough for ya ? TERRY PRATCHETT WAS RIGHT?!? They do suck back! ---
**Author:** ![Savannah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Savannah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Savannah)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2010, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-fuckin-vampires/547001/96 "2010-07-21T03:09:02Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > I keep hearing about it, and as a horror buff I feel I _ought_ to read it, and if itā€™s good I donā€™t want to miss itā€¦but vampires _again_? Just thinking about it makes me tired. > > Maybe Iā€™m anemic. Iā€™m really enjoying it. (Croninā€™s The Passage) ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2010, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-fuckin-vampires/547001/97 "2010-07-21T15:47:22Z")
> [@cricetus](#): > > The Swedish movie LET THE RIGHT ONE IN was fantastic. I enjoyed both the film and the bookā€“and Iā€™d recommend doing it in that order. There are some things that are different in the film from the book, or at least more ambiguous, which allows for a slightly different interpretation of certain things. If you read the book first, youā€™ll only be able to see the movie one way, whereas you wonā€™t miss out on that if you read the book second. ---
**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2010, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-fuckin-vampires/547001/98 "2010-07-22T13:41:16Z")
> [@Martini\_Enfield](#): > > Iā€™d be interested in some titles of movies which you think are of the ā€œFull of bouncing titties/must have a strip club sceneā€ because I must say I canā€™t recall many non-porn (softcore or otherwise) films from the past few years that would qualify, with the exception of things like _Sin City_ and a couple of other films clearly aimed at a more ā€œMatureā€ audience than your standard ā€œRā€ rated movie. > > Obviously thereā€™s going to be nudity in ā€œMainstreamā€ films, but I certainly donā€™t recall (and havenā€™t noticed) it being _de rigueur_ in the way youā€™re suggesting it is, at any rate. Iā€™ve only seen a few movies in the theater in the last few years and yeah, I feel like a lot of them have gratuitous boobies. Not gratuitous _nudity_ - just breasts. Off the top of my head: _Before the Devil Knows Youā€™re Dead_ and _The Wrestler_ were both ā€˜seriousā€™ movies featuring naked boobies (mostly Marisa Tomeiā€™s) and some strip club scenes. I felt it was unnecessary, but at least it made sense within the context of both plots. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2010, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-fuckin-vampires/547001/99 "2010-07-23T21:08:10Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > I really donā€™t get it. A three hundred year old delusion is no more respectable than last weekā€™s desusion. I think thereā€™s a dozen threads on _that_ issue over on GD, usually with the word ā€œreligionā€ in the title šŸ˜ƒ What I do is remind myself there are three different ā€œscenesā€: In one, anthropologists, folklorists, and the like seriously study the traditional tales of the supernatural, the uses of magic and herbalism, the syncretic incorporations of prechristian religion into Christianity, etc., as they were throughout history. In the second, artists, fiction writers, poets, and more recent philosophers use some of the elements of those traditions to create new interpretations or to use the language and imagery in a new sense, as a way of exploration about the supernatural or the subconsciousā€¦ Finally, in the third ā€œsceneā€, a bunch of fluffybunnies go all gaga over Magyck and Vampyres and Wicca 'cause oooohhhh itā€™s so cool and so rebellious and so sexyā€¦ these are the ones you find yourself wishing Cthulhu will chew very, very thoroughly. Some writers will pander to them but hey, itā€™s a free market. I can live with Group 3ā€™s high visibility, if groups 1 and 2 retain their integrity. ---
**Author:** ![Hyperelastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Hyperelastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hyperelastic)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2010, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-fuckin-vampires/547001/100 "2010-07-25T02:35:38Z")
10-15 years ago it was angels, then hobbits, now itā€™s vampires. I predict a leprechaun fad soon. Tom Cruise **IS** Paddy the Leprechaun - he wants to use his secret pot of gold to fund sustainable energy research. But not if a fictional company very similar to British Petroleum has anything to say about it. Their chief scientist, Dr. Cameron Diaz, has just perfected an end-of-the-rainbow detection system. But sheā€™s torn over its potential applications, and hot for Paddy in his little green velvet suit. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-fuckin-vampires/547001.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-fuckin-vampires/547001.md?page=6)