# Enough With The Stupid Vampire Shit **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 25, 2009, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-stupid-vampire-shit/507579 "2009-08-25T01:00:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Bookkeeper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bookkeeper/32/281_2.png) [@Bookkeeper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bookkeeper)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2009, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-stupid-vampire-shit/507579/81 "2009-08-25T17:43:39Z")
Can I add a plug for a **good** vampire series? Try [Fred Saberhagen’s Dracula books](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fred_Saberhagen#Dracula_sequence). I have no idea why \*The Dracula Tapes \*or _The Holmes-Dracula File_ haven’t been made into movies yet. ---
**Author:** ![justrob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a9adbd/32.png) [@justrob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/justrob)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2009, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-stupid-vampire-shit/507579/82 "2009-08-25T17:44:22Z")
> [@Biotop](#): > > How about instead we have vampire/cop and vampire/hospital shows. > > The vampire cop has all sorts of plot potential, and one can imagine the struggle of the vampire doctor trying to operate with all that blood right there just for the taking… > > Now, I don’t think zombie/cop has much that could work…and zombie/hospital seems a bad idea for all concerned. I give you [Forever Knight](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0103417/). ---
**Author:** ![Gfactor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@Gfactor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gfactor)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2009, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-stupid-vampire-shit/507579/83 "2009-08-25T17:59:04Z")
I’m moving this from The BBQ Pit to Cafe Society. If the Cafe Society moderators think this is over the top for Cafe Society, they are welcome to move it back to the Pit. **Gfactor** Pit Moderator ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2009, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-stupid-vampire-shit/507579/84 "2009-08-25T18:28:41Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > I’m not quite as sick of zombies as I am of vampires, but we’re reaching that point. Zombies have been overplayed, and within a couple of years they’ll be as irritating as vampires. > > We need some more werewolf fiction. I haven’t seen any decent werewolf stuff lately. Well, zombies will certainly get tiresome, but they’ll never be annoying i nthe same way that, say, Lestat is. Nobody thinks zombies are sexy, and zombies don’t spend a lot of time weeping about how unfair it all is, and that they never WANTED to eat human flesh and… ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2009, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-stupid-vampire-shit/507579/85 "2009-08-25T18:47:34Z")
**Biotop** said: > [@](#): > > How about instead we have vampire/cop and vampire/hospital shows. **justrob** said: > [@](#): > > I give you Forever Knight. There’s also [Moonlight](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0955346/). ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2009, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-stupid-vampire-shit/507579/86 "2009-08-25T19:25:20Z")
> [@kitemaker\_chuck](#): > > We need the “best” of both worlds… > Vampires bite Zombies…Vambies > Zombies bite Vampires…Zompires “I Vant to suck your brains!” ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2009, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-stupid-vampire-shit/507579/87 "2009-08-25T19:34:59Z")
> [@](#): > > You know, the original vampires of legend were actually quite a bit like zombies. They were fetid, rotting monsters who clawed out of their tombs to feast on the blood of the living. These descriptions were probably based on misinterpretation of the natural physical manifestations of death. I wouldn’t mind a movie based on the vampires of Slavic folklore. I agree with you. Great book, by the way\*. Another author making the same point is David J. Skal in **Hollywood Gothic** , **the Monster Show** , **V is for Vampire** , and others > **[Hollywood Gothic: The Tangled Web of Dracula from Novel to Stage to Screen:...](https://www.amazon.com/Hollywood-Gothic-Tangled-Dracula-Screen/dp/0571211585)** > > Hollywood Gothic: The Tangled Web of Dracula from Novel to Stage to Screen \[Skal, David J.\] on Amazon.com. \*FREE\* shipping on qualifying offers. Hollywood Gothic: The Tangled Web of Dracula from Novel to Stage to Screen > **[V Is for Vampire: The A-Z Guide to Everything Undead: Skal, David J.:...](https://www.amazon.com/Vampire-Z-Guide-Everything-Undead/dp/0452271738)** > > V Is for Vampire: The A-Z Guide to Everything Undead \[Skal, David J.\] on Amazon.com. \*FREE\* shipping on qualifying offers. V Is for Vampire: The A-Z Guide to Everything Undead Skal repeatedly points out that Dracula is emphatically _NOT_ a Romantic hero, by any means, and that movies that try to make him out to be one (especially the Dan Curtis TV version and Coppola’s Dracula, both of which have him seeing one of the heroines as the reincarnation of his dead wife (!!)) are seriously out of touch with the novel. \*I quoted Barber approvingly in my book. I got some extremely useful insights from it. In return, he cited my book approvingly in the next one he wrote with his wife, **When they Severed Earth from Sky**. I’m grateful, especially since their conclusions are a bit different from mine. Something they were nice not to point out. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2009, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-stupid-vampire-shit/507579/88 "2009-08-25T19:53:38Z")
Quoth **Biotop** : > [@](#): > > Now, I don’t think zombie/cop has much that could work… Constable Reginald Shoe, of the Ankh-Morpork City Guard, would dispute that. The force also includes a golem, a werewolf, and a great number of trolls and dwarves (but no vampires!). ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2009, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-stupid-vampire-shit/507579/89 "2009-08-25T19:56:48Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Quoth **Biotop** :Constable Reginald Shoe, of the Ankh-Morpork City Guard, would dispute that. > > The force also includes a golem, a werewolf, and a great number of trolls and dwarves (but no vampires!). I see a discrimination suit in the making. ---
**Author:** ![Brandus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@Brandus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brandus)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2009, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-stupid-vampire-shit/507579/90 "2009-08-25T20:10:00Z")
Yeah, I was surprised Twilight was successful because I thought the vampire thing had been driven into the ground already. The line is beginning to blur already between zombies and vampires. They’re both former-humans who want to eat you. What were the things in I am Legend anyways? The scenes where he was running from the hordes of vampires is virtually identical to the hordes of zombies in Resident Evil. ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2009, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-stupid-vampire-shit/507579/91 "2009-08-25T20:11:19Z")
Who said zombies can’t be romantic? Freddy from Return of the Living Dead; [Freddy: [to Tina] See? You made me hurt myself again! I broke my hand off completely at the wrist this time, Tina! But that’s okay, Darlin’, because I love you, and that’s why you have to let me EAT YOUR BRAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIINS!](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LD8_GFEO-HY) That’s love right there 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2009, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-stupid-vampire-shit/507579/92 "2009-08-25T20:17:52Z")
> [@SHAKES](#): > > I want so badly to agree with the OP but I somehow got hooked on this whole True Blood series just this year. > > The guy in me really digs “Anna Paquin Nudity” > > Also, I want to be one of Minotaur lady’s minions. (If that’s what she even is. I’m not sure really.) She’s a maenad, which has been explained in the last two episodes. How you are watching True Blood and still not sure, really? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2009, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-stupid-vampire-shit/507579/93 "2009-08-25T20:30:18Z")
Well, _Sesame Street_ has “The Count”. Maybe they can do an episode where the mutated remains of Bert rise and walk the Earth - call him “Inert”. Ernie: “Hey, Inert! Hey, Inert! Stop eating my brain, Inert!” ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2009, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-stupid-vampire-shit/507579/94 "2009-08-25T21:04:16Z")
> [@Biotop](#): > > The vampire cop has all sorts of plot potential [You rang?](http://www.amazon.com/Surrogate-Evil-Lee-Nez-Novel/dp/0765316153/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1251234099&sr=8-3) (I’ve only read Second Sunrise and enjoyed it, don’t want to go spoilerizing more than the comments in Amazon may). Oh, and in [Thud!](http://www.amazon.com/Thud-Discworld-Novels-Terry-Pratchett/dp/0552156639/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1251234348&sr=1-1), there is a vampire cop in Ankh-Morpork’s police (she’s a loaner, but she’s also very much a vampire and very much a cop). ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2009, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-stupid-vampire-shit/507579/95 "2009-08-25T21:24:47Z")
> [@wierdaaron](#): > > Don’t forget “the vampire’s assistant” or some stupid movie coming soon. > > I am pretty sick of the vampire meme, and how every show/movie/book gets to make up its own, contradictory rules for how vamire-ness works. > > Vamps are just an eternally useful metaphor. > > The vampires in Twilight are used as a metaphor for abstinence. In True Blood they’re a metaphor for racism/homophobia, as well as sexual repression. Anne Rice’s swishy vampires were a metaphor for sexual and material indulgence. > > There’s a reason the Twilight books, the True Blood books, and the Lestat books are all written by women. Women fucking love sexual metaphors. > > Women love vampires. > > Women hate zombies. > > Men love zombies. > > Men hate vampires. > > Zombies are usually used as metaphors as well, but never as sexual metaphors. The metaphor of Zombies is usually a sociological one, representing a frustration with society/order/rules/other people. > > Women have vampire fantasies because they all secretly want to be seduced by a powerful, dark man and be completely powerless to him. Men have zombie fantasies because they all secretly wish society would go to hell so they could run around and shoot people without repercussion. > > The fact that vampires and zombies are both unusually trendy right now makes me think that our current culture is having some kind of repression issue. Even we’re unusually repressed with these fantasies, and have to live via these tired undead metaphors, or we’re finally unrepressed and allowed to revel in our undead trope of choice. I concur 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2009, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-stupid-vampire-shit/507579/96 "2009-08-25T21:50:02Z")
> [@Rysdad](#): > > I was with you up until you mentioned Underworld, but… > > [You](http://images.newcelebritypics.com/img/celebs/images/k/kate_beckinsale_photoshoot-2047.jpg) > [can](http://www.esquire.com/cm/esquire/images/rW/kate-beckinsale-3-0308-lg.jpg) > [never](http://www.topnews.in/light/files/kate_beckinsale.jpg) > [have](http://www.babble.com/CS/blogs/famecrawler/2008/02/16-22/kate-beckinsale-esquire-1.jpg) > [too](http://rosemarymaccabe.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/wallpaper_kate_beckinsale_6.jpg) > [much](http://www.hollywood-celebrity-pictures.com/Celebrities/Kate-Beckinsale/Kate-Beckinsale-19.JPG) > [Kate](http://hotcelebrity.name/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/kate-beckinsale.jpg) > [Beckinsale.](http://www.cloutonline.com/images/kate_beckinsale.jpg) > [Nope.](http://upload.moldova.org/movie/actors/k/kate_beckinsale/thumbnails/tn2_kate_beckinsale_1.jpg) > [Never.](http://www.vivagoal.com/images/wallpapers/kate_beckinsale.jpg) > [Not](http://justentertainment.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/kate_beckinsale_1.jpg) > [ever!](http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_2-7AdSkZA7I/RoE_WPVtpgI/AAAAAAAAHWI/0vm_VpC0d5c/s400/kate_beckinsale_55.jpg) QFT. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2009, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-stupid-vampire-shit/507579/97 "2009-08-25T21:59:39Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > Is there any form of fiction more overplayed right now than goddamn fucking vampires? We’ve got “True Blood” and the novels on which it’s based, we’ve got “Twilight”, and of course Anne Rice’s terrible books are still hanging around. I agree, except there are no vampires in Twilight. “Sparkelpires”:rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2009, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-stupid-vampire-shit/507579/98 "2009-08-25T22:11:07Z")
> [@wierdaaron](#): > > Women love vampires. > > Women hate zombies. > > Men love zombies. > > Men hate vampires. [del]We Werewolves[/del] Werewolves get no love. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Binarydrone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Binarydrone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Binarydrone)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2009, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-stupid-vampire-shit/507579/99 "2009-08-25T22:24:37Z")
> [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](#): > > [del]We Werewolves[/del] Werewolves get no love. ☹ Only in the Furry community 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2009, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-stupid-vampire-shit/507579/100 "2009-08-25T22:31:51Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > I think plenty of men like vampires; they just fantasize about BEING the vampire, not be seduced by one. Unless she’s played by Kate Beckinsdale – or so I gather from other posters in this thread. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-stupid-vampire-shit/507579.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-stupid-vampire-shit/507579.md?page=6)