# Enough With The Stupid Vampire Shit **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 25, 2009, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-stupid-vampire-shit/507579 "2009-08-25T01:00:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2009, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-stupid-vampire-shit/507579/121 "2009-08-26T20:19:13Z")
While I largely agree with the OP, there must be a [Chris Moore](http://www.chrismoore.com/you_suck.html) exemption clause, for his farcical novels Bloodsucking Fiends and You Suck: A Love Story. ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2009, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-stupid-vampire-shit/507579/122 "2009-08-26T20:38:06Z")
> [@Kozmik](#): > > Don’t forget \*Buffy the Vampire Slayer \*and, its somewhat disappointing spinoff, _Angel_. The only thing disappointing about Angel was that the WB didn’t order a 6th season. If anything, it was a rare spinoff that was better than its parent show. > [@EllisDee](#): > > I don’t even recognize many of the entries on your list. In addition to a half-dozen or so direct-to-DVD zombie flicks I’ve seen on cable that shouldn’t really count in this discussion, (eg: Zombie Honeymoon, Diary of the Dead, etc,) Can’t speak for Zombie Honeymoon, but Diary of the Dead wasn’t direct to DVD. Granted, it was a “blink and you’ll miss it” theatrical release, but it was in theaters. And of course it should count, it’s a fucking Romero movie. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2009, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-stupid-vampire-shit/507579/123 "2009-08-26T20:59:05Z")
> [@TBG](#): > > Can’t speak for Zombie Honeymoon, but Diary of the Dead wasn’t direct to DVD. Granted, it was a “blink and you’ll miss it” theatrical release, but it was in theaters. And of course it should count, it’s a fucking Romero movie. But it blows. It makes Day of the Dead look like a fucking masterpiece and Day of the Dead should never be considered a masterpiece of anything! It sucks. ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2009, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-stupid-vampire-shit/507579/124 "2009-08-26T21:46:21Z")
Jim Butcher’s vampires and evil and cool. And they come in three delicious flavors: 1. **Black** : Just evil bastards who can juggle tanks and kill people. They have all the well-known weaknesses. 2. Red: The bloodsuckers who addict people to their venom. 3. White: Feed on emotions like lust, fear and despair. Not a sparklepire among them, all very freaky. There’s also the Jade, but they are mysterious. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2009, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-stupid-vampire-shit/507579/125 "2009-08-26T22:50:51Z")
Weeee-eeee-eeell, Thomas and the White Court _are_ sort of sparklepires. They’re very pretty people. Unlike Meyer’s vampires, though, the pretty is a very thin layer hiding the nasty, and few of them have anything like morals. Thomas is a cliche emo sparklepire, though, right up there with Angel and Edward. He’s just written better, so he’s less lame. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2009, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-stupid-vampire-shit/507579/126 "2009-08-27T00:42:39Z")
> [@TBG](#): > > The only thing disappointing about Angel was that the WB didn’t order a 6th season. If anything, it was a rare spinoff that was better than its parent show. Hear, hear! ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2009, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-stupid-vampire-shit/507579/127 "2009-08-27T04:32:22Z")
I have to put in a good word for Octavia Butler’s _Fledgling_, too. It’s not your usual vampire story. The main vampire character is mostly portrayed positively, but she does some really nasty stuff (with a good reason) in at least one instance. It’s been a while since I read the book. At any rate, the vampires in this book are not undead, though they do drink blood and they are mostly unable to tolerate sunlight. My main complaint is that I think that Butler intended to write at least one more book in this setting, and she died before she did so. In fact, that’s my main complaint about Butler. She died before she had written all of her stories. So sad. ---
**Author:** ![Grumman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/43a26b/32.png) [@Grumman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grumman)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2009, 10:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-stupid-vampire-shit/507579/128 "2009-08-27T10:07:57Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > Expect a visit from a Mr. Jones and a Mr. Rodriguez. I’m willing to settle for bulettes. Or medusae. ---
**Author:** ![Eleanor\_of\_Aquitaine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Eleanor\_of\_Aquitaine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eleanor_of_Aquitaine)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2009, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-stupid-vampire-shit/507579/129 "2009-08-27T14:02:38Z")
I really liked _Fledgling_, and _Sunshine_, and _Fevre Dream_. I would recommend the vampire books by Tanya Huff, Charlie Huston and P.N. Elrod. The urban fantasy craze has led Patricia Briggs to move into this genre, and I like her new series, particularly the first two books. ---
**Author:** ![3\_20\_59\_or\_bust](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/47e85d/32.png) [@3\_20\_59\_or\_bust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3_20_59_or_bust)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2009, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-stupid-vampire-shit/507579/130 "2009-08-27T15:47:11Z")
> [@Eleanor\_of\_Aquitaine](#): > > I really liked _Fledgling_, and _Sunshine_, and _Fevre Dream_. I would recommend the vampire books by Tanya Huff, Charlie Huston and P.N. Elrod. > > The urban fantasy craze has led Patricia Briggs to move into this genre, and I like her new series, particularly the first two books. Another vote for Charlie Huston. I see his “Joe Pitt Casebooks” as vampire books for people that don’t like vampires. No kissing away bloody tears for Huston and Joe Pitt. More like blasting the heads off of them with a .45. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2009, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-stupid-vampire-shit/507579/131 "2009-08-27T17:54:21Z")
> [@Justin\_Bailey](#): > > **Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter** (which, by the way, is the greatest movie EVER) One of my best friends spotted it in a box at an (unfortunately now out-of business) independent record store. He was going to move on, but I suggested we split the cost two ways. Best $7.50 I ever spent. At the time we were roommates, but we now have joint custody–it spent a few years with him, then moved in with me. > [@TBG](#): > > The only thing disappointing about Angel was that the WB didn’t order a 6th season. If anything, it was a rare spinoff that was better than its parent show. You think it was consistently better than _Buffy_? I haven’t seen all of _Angel_, so I’m not as familiar with it as with _Buffy_, and certainly there were some parts of \*Angel \*that were better than some parts of _Buffy_, but I don’t think it’s fair to say that as a whole, \*Angel \*was better than _Buffy_. IMO, \*Buffy \*at its best is much better than \*Angel \*at its best. > [@Bosstone](#): > > Thomas is a cliche emo sparklepire, though, right up there with Angel and Edward. David Boreanez is kind of a shitty actor, but Angel wasn’t really a cliche emo sparklepire. There are lots of downsides to his being a vampire (sunlight = explodes into flames, death from stake through the heart or beheading, can’t touch holy water or crosses, constant psychic torment from the knowledge of all the people he killed, and will go back to being an evil mofo anytime he’s happy enough to forget everything he did). ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2009, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-stupid-vampire-shit/507579/132 "2009-08-27T19:02:59Z")
[As long as there are females there will be vampire shit](http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=286). [sub]I’m sorry…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![GythaOgg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/49beb7/32.png) [@GythaOgg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GythaOgg)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2009, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-stupid-vampire-shit/507579/133 "2009-08-27T21:25:58Z")
> [@tds1273](#): > > Just for the sake of score keeping, BBC America is showing a pretty decent series, [Being Human](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Being_Human_(TV_series)), which stars a vampire, werewolf, and ghost all living under the same roof. Bonus, the vampire and werewolf both work in a hospital and the main antagonist is a vampire-cop. This is the only entry in the vamp-media genre I’ve ever actually been enthused about. Perhaps it’s because while vampires are an important part of the plot, they’re not the sole focus. (In some ways the werewolf character is more pivotal to the character development). Love the bit where, when the vampire gets staked by another vampire, they actually call 911 (or the British equivalent) and have the paramedics take him to the hospital…where the ER staff are totally flummoxed that the heart monitor won’t work. ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2009, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-stupid-vampire-shit/507579/134 "2009-08-27T23:28:53Z")
> [@Justin\_Bailey](#): > > But [Diary of the Dead] blows. It makes Day of the Dead look like a fucking masterpiece and Day of the Dead should never be considered a masterpiece of anything! It sucks. I dunno, I liked Diary. It was no Dawn, but it was alright, certainly better than Land. Of course, Day’s grown on me over the years, too. It’s the weakest of the original trilogy, sure, but it hardly sucks either. > [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > You think [Angel] was consistently better than _Buffy_? I haven’t seen all of _Angel_, so I’m not as familiar with it as with _Buffy_, and certainly there were some parts of \*Angel \*that were better than some parts of _Buffy_, but I don’t think it’s fair to say that as a whole, \*Angel \*was better than _Buffy_. IMO, \*Buffy \*at its best is much better than \*Angel \*at its best. Buffy at its best was better than Angel, I’ll admit, but Buffy wasn’t always at its best. Buffy’s highs were high, but the lows were low. Angel was more consistent, so the averages work out to Angel’s benefit. IMO, anyway. But if you disagree, I’ll bite you. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2009, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-stupid-vampire-shit/507579/135 "2009-08-27T23:43:28Z")
The only vampire who I’ll ever be enthused isn’t actually a human. And no, I don’t mean as in he’s a monster. He was never human. And he was never sexy. Well…maybe to some. But he was awesome. He ruled literature. For a time. Say it with me now. Bunnicula! ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2009, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-stupid-vampire-shit/507579/136 "2009-08-27T23:49:24Z")
Bunnicula! “Today vegetables, tomorrow the world.” -Chester the cat ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2009, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-stupid-vampire-shit/507579/137 "2009-08-28T15:23:57Z")
> [@TBG](#): > > I dunno, I liked Diary. Ick, really? I hated _Diary_. IMO, it was pretty much as if actual film students had made the damn thing. Except not \*\*real \*\*film students, because I’ve seen films made by film students, and most of those have better dialogue, acting, characters, and plot. So, like, \*\*wannabe \*\*film students. Also, anybody who’s not a moron knows that you couldn’t possibly pierce a human skull WITH A FUCKING RECURVE BOW WHAT THE HELL. > [@](#): > > But if you disagree, I’ll bite you. 😃 That costs extra. > [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Bunnicula! God, I loved those books so much. Thanks for reminding me! ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2009, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-stupid-vampire-shit/507579/138 "2009-08-28T23:37:33Z")
Bunnicula was the original “vegetarian vampire”. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2009, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-stupid-vampire-shit/507579/139 "2009-08-28T23:55:07Z")
> [@Red\_Skeezix](#): > > Normally I would be in complete agreement. But I have just recently seen the film “Let the Right One In”, which is something that I haven’t seen before. So I support the moratorium on all angsty, over-sexed vampires esp if it includes actors and actresses who grace the covers of Tiger Beat. Anyone who hasn’t seen this movie needs to see it. If you don’t like it, you deserved to be punished by sitting through it; and if you do like it, you deserve its tasty rewards. ---
**Author:** ![Grumman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/43a26b/32.png) [@Grumman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grumman)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-stupid-vampire-shit/507579/140 "2009-08-29T02:13:51Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Anyone who hasn’t seen this movie needs to see it. Hell no. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-stupid-vampire-shit/507579.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-stupid-vampire-shit/507579.md?page=8)