# Enough with the warnings! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 30, 2001, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-warnings/84666 "2001-09-30T22:16:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![RedFury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ec9cab/32.png) [@RedFury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedFury)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2001, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-warnings/84666/1 "2001-09-30T22:16:43Z")
It seems like everything I buy nowadays comes with ridiculously insane warning attached to it. Just off the top of my head I can think of the following: Deodorant: Do not use on **broken skin** Shaving Cream: Avoid spraying towards **open flame** Talcum Powder: Avoid **contact with eyes** Hand lotion; Do not **swallow** Toothpaste: If you accidentally swallow **more than intended** blah blah… Matches: Strike **away from face** Pain Relievers: Do not exceed **recommended dosage** …if condition remains unchanged after a few days **see a doctor** Garbage Bags: Can cause **suffocation** Staples: Keep out of reach **of children** On Planes: Read instructions to **buckle seatbelt** And on and on and on…I’m sure you can come up with hundreds more. Are we becoming a nation of idiots? Is suing on behalf of sheer stupidity the national pastime? _Why_ do we need to be told these things? If you’re dumb enough to do any of the above…what makes anyone think you’ll bother **reading** the warning labels first? Oh, yeah…those paper napkins at the diner? **Don’t eat them** :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![xcheopis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/bc8723/32.png) [@xcheopis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xcheopis)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2001, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-warnings/84666/2 "2001-09-30T22:27:00Z")
My personal favourite was the warning on the paint stripper saying “this device not to be used as a hair dryer.” Hello? Someone would actually point a **paint stripper** at their head?!? Feel the burn, baby! ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2001, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-warnings/84666/3 "2001-09-30T22:29:32Z")
My fav is the one on my best friend’s curling iron. “For external use only.” ---
**Author:** ![Nortia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Nortia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nortia)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2001, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-warnings/84666/4 "2001-09-30T22:29:40Z")
Cashew nuts…may contain nuts oh really?! :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Cleophus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e57/32.png) [@Cleophus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cleophus)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2001, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-warnings/84666/5 "2001-09-30T22:45:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Arden Ranger \* > \*\*My fav is the one on my best friend’s curling iron. “For external use only.” \*\* Maybe someone thought a heated dildo would be nice? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2001, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-warnings/84666/6 "2001-09-30T22:49:44Z")
[Here’s](http://www.geocities.com/islandlyrics/lyrics2/bill01.txt) your sign. (One of my favorite comedy bits, to be sure, the favorite being the one about the exhaust pipe.) ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2001, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-warnings/84666/7 "2001-09-30T22:52:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cleophus \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Arden Ranger \* > > \*\*My fav is the one on my best friend’s curling iron. “For external use only.” \*\* > > Maybe someone thought a heated dildo would be nice? :eek: \*\* Youch!!! “Yeah, honey, I know that plastic can get cold, but why don’t you just use your _hands_ to warm it up?!” ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2001, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-warnings/84666/8 "2001-09-30T23:02:37Z")
> [@](#): > > Are we becoming a nation of idiots? No, we’ve become (or always have been) a nation with some idiots in it. One idiot points a paint stripper at her head, or one idiot loses a limb from using deodorant on broken skin, and then files suit against the manufacturer for “negligence” or “failure to warn.” So now Mennen or Gilette or whoever puts a warning label on the product so that the next time someone loses an arm they can’t tap the deep pocket because they’ve been warned right there on the package. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2001, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-warnings/84666/9 "2001-09-30T23:06:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TruePisces \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Cleophus \* > > \*\* > > > > > [@](#): > > > > > > \*Originally posted by Arden Ranger \* > > > \*\*My fav is the one on my best friend’s curling iron. “For external use only.” \*\* > > > > Maybe someone thought a heated dildo would be nice? :eek: \*\* > > Youch!!! > > “Yeah, honey, I know that plastic can get cold, but why don’t you just use your _hands_ to warm it up?!” \*\* I believe this was mentioned on the Snopes board-some wife getting back at her cheating husband by tying up, face down, sticking her curling iron in his ass, then plugging it in before she left. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![imthjckaz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/imthjckaz/32/3223_2.png) [@imthjckaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/imthjckaz)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2001, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-warnings/84666/10 "2001-09-30T23:50:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TruePisces \* > \*\*[Here’s](http://www.geocities.com/islandlyrics/lyrics2/bill01.txt) your sign. > > (One of my favorite comedy bits, to be sure, the favorite being the one about the exhaust pipe.) \*\* Speaking of [signs](http://www.escape.ca/~viking/classics.html#Signs). This song popped into my head when reading your post. I believe that there are way too many warnings and signs, where, common sense should be the rule. ---
**Author:** ![ThunderBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@ThunderBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThunderBunny)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-warnings/84666/11 "2001-10-01T00:09:01Z")
Ooh! Ooh! But my _favorite_ warning is with my “Car Shade” – you know, that thing you put in your windshield to keep the sun from coming in and thus keep the car a little cooler? Of course, in big red letters, it says, “Do not drive while sun shield is in place.” Dang. A guy can’t have any fun. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-warnings/84666/12 "2001-10-01T00:18:38Z")
People, people. These are not laughing matters. Why a friend of a friend of a guy my mom used to know, knew a woman who had a friend whose son donned a Superman costume, and then jumped off the roof. The little tyke broke his little leg. They did get compensation from the costume company, but if they had only put some sort of warning on the box, this tragedy would have never occured. \*\* ---
**Author:** ![dragongirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b38774/32.png) [@dragongirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dragongirl)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-warnings/84666/13 "2001-10-01T00:48:17Z")
Over the summer I bought my kid a blow up ring that looked like a duck. The warning was: This product is not edible. ---
**Author:** ![RedFury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ec9cab/32.png) [@RedFury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedFury)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-warnings/84666/14 "2001-10-01T01:27:12Z")
> [@](#): > > So now Mennen or Gilette or whoever puts a warning label on the product so that the next time someone loses an arm they can’t tap the deep pocket because they’ve been warned right there on the package. Fair enough. But I think some manufacturers actually use the warning as a _selling point_. Case in point, how else would you explain the following caution found on Viagra® ? **"An erection that lasts longer than four hours requires prompt medical attention."** Laywers playing games and making money? ---
**Author:** ![dalovindj](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/65b543/32.png) [@dalovindj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dalovindj)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-warnings/84666/15 "2001-10-01T01:32:56Z")
> [@](#): > > An erection that lasts longer than four hours requires prompt medical attention. Uh-Oh. Is this true even if you didn’t take any Viagra? DaLovin’ Dj ---
**Author:** ![imthjckaz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/imthjckaz/32/3223_2.png) [@imthjckaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/imthjckaz)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-warnings/84666/16 "2001-10-01T02:06:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jack Batty \* > \*\*Why a friend of a friend of a guy my mom used to know, knew a woman who had a friend whose son donned a Superman costume, and then jumped off the roof. The little tyke broke his little leg. > > They did get compensation from the costume company, but if they had only put some sort of warning on the box, this tragedy would have never occured. \*\* I hope your leg is better. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-warnings/84666/17 "2001-10-01T02:38:40Z")
Of course, the Master already covered this topic in [url=“[http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a3\_102b.html](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a3_102b.html)”]this column\*\*. Robin ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-warnings/84666/18 "2001-10-01T02:40:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MsRobyn \* > **Of course, the Master already covered this topic in [this column**. > > Robin \*\* Let’s try this again. [url=“[http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a3\_102b.html](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a3_102b.html)”]this column]([http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a3\_102b.html](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a3_102b.html)). Preview is my friend. Robin ---
**Author:** ![shelbo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@shelbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shelbo)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-warnings/84666/19 "2001-10-01T03:32:32Z")
Knife: Caution Sharp Water: Caution Wet Ice: Caution Icy My wife’s great aunt is 85 years old. A while ago she bought a hair-dryer. She was so freaked out by all the warning labels that she packed it up and took it back to the store. ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-warnings/84666/20 "2001-10-01T13:19:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TruePisces \* > \*\*[Here’s](http://www.geocities.com/islandlyrics/lyrics2/bill01.txt) your sign. > > (One of my favorite comedy bits, to be sure, the favorite being the one about the exhaust pipe.) \*\* Thanks for the link, TruePisces. That album never fails to bring me to my knees laughing. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enough-with-the-warnings/84666.md?page=2)