# Enter this thread, and you must sing the blues
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enter-this-thread-and-you-must-sing-the-blues/59086
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [March 23, 2001, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enter-this-thread-and-you-must-sing-the-blues/59086 "2001-03-23T02:24:35Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)
#### Post date: [March 23, 2001, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enter-this-thread-and-you-must-sing-the-blues/59086/1 "2001-03-23T02:24:35Z")
(those are the rules.)
I woke up this morning.
**Buh-Dum Duh-Dum**
The cat shit on the floor.
**Buh-Dum Duh-Dum**
I stepped on it when I went to brush my teeth.
\*\* Buh-Dee Bee Dee-dum!\*\*
Slipped and hit my head on the door!
I said Low-dowwwwwwwwn!
I got nothing to lose.
Oh yeah! I said low doWWWWWWWWWN!
Got those linoleum floor, hit the head, catshit blues.
Take it…
---
### Author:  [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)
#### Post date: [March 23, 2001, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enter-this-thread-and-you-must-sing-the-blues/59086/2 "2001-03-23T02:29:03Z")
Well it’s a low down crying shame
ain’t no woman want to share my name
all alone for ever more
I guess I better sweep the floor
I’m so blue I will cry a river
so blue that I will cry forever
and then I will float away
not to be seen for many a day
---
### Author:  [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)
#### Post date: [March 23, 2001, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enter-this-thread-and-you-must-sing-the-blues/59086/3 "2001-03-23T02:29:32Z")
Didn’t use the preview.
**Buh Dum Duh Dum**
When I started this thread.
**Buh Dum Duh Dum**
So the problems with the bolding code
\*\*Buh-Dee Bee Dee-dum! \*\*
Are on my own stupid head!
I said Low-dowwwwwwwwn!
I got nothing to lose.
Oh yeah! I said low doWWWWWWWWWN!
I got those stupid dumb-ass, slip in catshit, and didn’t preview, moderator please fix my fuckup blues!
---
### Author:  [@Lucki\_Chaarms](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucki_Chaarms)
#### Post date: [March 23, 2001, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enter-this-thread-and-you-must-sing-the-blues/59086/4 "2001-03-23T02:37:51Z")
Physics paper due tomorrow
\*\*
Buh duh duh doo doo
\*\*
Haven’t started yet so it’ll be late
\*\*
Buh duh duh doo doo
\*\*
My life’s full of sorrow
\*\*
Buh duh duh doo doo
\*\*
Just got turned down for a date
I got dem looowwwwwdowdown loser bluuues
[scat]
scoobie doobie sha lama gribba heh ha heh
[/scat]
(Edited to correct bolding error)
[Edited by TVeblen on 03-23-2001 at 12:53 AM]
---
### Author:  [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)
#### Post date: [March 23, 2001, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enter-this-thread-and-you-must-sing-the-blues/59086/5 "2001-03-23T02:43:09Z")
I woke up this afternoon
I saw both cars were gone
I felt so low-down lonely
I threw my drink across the lawn.
(M. Mull)
---
### Author:  [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)
#### Post date: [March 23, 2001, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enter-this-thread-and-you-must-sing-the-blues/59086/6 "2001-03-23T02:54:07Z")
Well, I gotta sing the blues now
**Ba Dum Dah Dum**
Cause I opened this thread
**Ba Dum Dah Dum**
If I don’t, Scylla’ll be mad,
**Ba Dum Dah Dum**
And smack me on my head.
**Ba Dum Dah Dum**
But I’m not cre-ative
**Ba Dum Dah Dum**
Like some-a-yooze guys
**Ba Dum Dah Dum**
So I’ll get off the stage now
**Ba Dum Dah Dum**
'Fore you start throwin pies.
Yeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh, I got the low down, crappy-blues artist bluuueeeeesssss, yow.
Thank you, g’night!
---
### Author:  [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)
#### Post date: [March 23, 2001, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enter-this-thread-and-you-must-sing-the-blues/59086/7 "2001-03-23T03:07:12Z")
When I woke up this mornin’
**Buh Dum Duh Dum**
Found **Scylla** on the floor
**Buh Dum Duh Dum**
He slipped in some cat poo
**Buh Dum Duh Dum**
Hit his head on the door
**Buh Dum Duh Dum**
Oooooh, I got’s me them ol’ how’m I gonna 'splain **Scylla** on the floor to my husband bluuuuuuuuueeesssss…
---
### Author:  [@Skelji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skelji)
#### Post date: [March 23, 2001, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enter-this-thread-and-you-must-sing-the-blues/59086/8 "2001-03-23T03:27:54Z")
I just let the dogs out
**Ba Dee Dee Dee Dah**
It’s real dark outside
**Ba Bum Ba Bum**
Had no…idea…that soon…I-was-in-for-a-real-big-surprise
**Da dah da dah dah dah**
The old dog walks in front of me
**Ba Dee Dee Dee Dah**
Didn’t see him shit on the ground
**Ba Bum Ba Bum**
I-stepped-in-it…then…I went in the house…and spread it all around
They calls me the Tracker…Ahhhh-oooooooooooohoohooooo-gah!
I spread the dogshit…all around
**Da dah da dah da dah da dah**
It’s too bad my carpets
**boom…boom-boom…boom-boom…boom-boom**
(big pause)
Aren’t a deeper shade of brown
Shop-shop-doody-doo-wahhhhhhhhhhhhh…
---
### Author:  [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)
#### Post date: [March 23, 2001, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enter-this-thread-and-you-must-sing-the-blues/59086/9 "2001-03-23T03:45:20Z")
She put a Car Bomb in my Guiness
**Dah DUH DAH duh**
Slipped a Mickey in my beer. . .
**Dah DUH DAH duh**
Now I got nothing left,
**Dah DUH DAH duh**
Except my pain and my fear
'Cause she’s a killer!
\*\* Bwaaaaaah bwaahh bwah buh buh bum \*\*
A Terrorist of my heart!
\*\* Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah\*\*
Yeah I tried to love you baby,
But you just blew me apart!
**Dah DUH DAH DAH DAH duh**
Picked you up at your train baby,
**Dah DUH DAH duh**
'Cause you couldn’t take the flight. . .
**Dah DUH DAH duh**
Because you’re such a nasty babe,
**Dah DUH DAH duh**
I just can’t sleep at night,
'Cause your an assasin!
\*\* Bwaaaaaah bwaahh bwah buh buh bum \*\*
A Terrorist of my heart!
\*\* Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah\*\*
Yeah I tried to love you baby,
But you just blew me apart!
Tripler
An actual song I am working on right now. . .
---
### Author:  [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)
#### Post date: [March 23, 2001, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enter-this-thread-and-you-must-sing-the-blues/59086/10 "2001-03-23T04:22:18Z")
And now the world’s shortest blues song:
I didn’t wake up this morning.
Thank you. I’m here all week.
I’m reminded of a story of Wierd Al Yankovich. He asked his grandfather, “Blind Lemon”, to teach him the blues… and his grandfather smacked him silly because everyone knows that the blues cannot be taught, but they can be felt. That was called the “Black and Blues”.
(I’m sorry. It had to be said.)
😃
---
### Author:  [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)
#### Post date: [March 23, 2001, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enter-this-thread-and-you-must-sing-the-blues/59086/11 "2001-03-23T06:36:48Z")
I’m just a pig for love - I ain’t never satisfied
I’m a pig for love - I ain’t never satisfied
got a woman sweet as maple syrup… can’t give up that bacon on the side.
I’m low down - ‘cuz I ain’t nothin’ but a ham
I’m low down - ‘cuz I ain’t nothin’ but a ham
Got the pork product blues, baby - that’s the way I am.
---
### Author:  [@Padeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Padeye)
#### Post date: [March 23, 2001, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enter-this-thread-and-you-must-sing-the-blues/59086/12 "2001-03-23T07:38:01Z")
My house burned down
**Buh Dum Buh Dum**
My dog left town
**Buh Dum Buh Dum**
I got beat up by my mother
**Buh Dum Buh Dum**
My darlin’ wife
**Buh Dum Buh Dum**
Has just threatened my life
**Buh Dum Buh Dum**
and run off with my lover
**Heeeeey, hey!**
[John Lee Hooker guitar solo]
---
### Author:  [@Tequila\_Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tequila_Mockingbird)
#### Post date: [March 23, 2001, 8:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enter-this-thread-and-you-must-sing-the-blues/59086/13 "2001-03-23T08:23:39Z")
When I woke up dis moanin’…
\*\* bah da duh dum\*\*
I looked at ma’ thread…
\*\* bah da duh dum\*\*
wid’ all dat liquor, I was funny…
**bah da duh dum**
but it all was jusssss’ in ma head…
Oh I got de blues…
dose drunk hussy blues…
Yeah it’s da kinda blues dat make ya wish…
wish you’d saved so-ooo-ome o’ dat booze…
De post drunken blues…
---
### Author:  [@Lux\_Fiat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lux_Fiat)
#### Post date: [March 23, 2001, 9:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enter-this-thread-and-you-must-sing-the-blues/59086/14 "2001-03-23T09:07:28Z")
Well I’m all outta whiskey,
**Byeeeaowwww da-da-da da**
An’ my woman done left town.
**Ba-da da-da-da**
Landlady fussin’ at me,
**Ba-da-da-da da-da-da**
And the factory,
I say the factory,
Oh the factory done shut dowwwwwwwwn.
Said I got the blues.
Them old archetypal blues.
You know I got them blues.
And I walked so much,
Said I walked so much,
All around town today can’t find a lick a work feelin’ so low 'cause I walked all around town today and the first place anybody ain’t slammed a door in my face is the bar down the street,
I worn hoooooooooles in my shoes.
Mama, can’t win but that I lose.
(_Plaintive harmonica solo_)
---
### Author:  [@meek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/meek)
#### Post date: [March 23, 2001, 9:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enter-this-thread-and-you-must-sing-the-blues/59086/15 "2001-03-23T09:08:46Z")
Sung to the tune of: _Bad Case of Loving You._ - (With apologies to **Robert Palmer**.)
_(Intro)_
Whooaaa ooo oo oo
Another sleepless night, logged on the net.
I’ve got to fiiiiiiiind my answer yet.
But I need you, to bump this thread,
And assure my wooooords, all get read.
_(Chorus)_
Cecil, Cecil, gimme a clue, I’ve got a
Bad case of doper blues.
No pill’s gonna kill this wail, I’ve got a
Bad case of dooooooooper blues.
A shitty post - don’t make me look reel smart
I learned thaaaat, buddy from the start
You think I’m nuts, a little bit sly
Cecil, I – I – I ain’t that kind of guy
_(Chorus)_
Cecil, Cecil, gimme the news, I’ve got a
Bad case of doper blues.
No pill is gonna cure my ail, I’ve got a
Bad case of dooooooooper blues.
I know you’ve seen it,
You viewed it on top.
Tell me oh wise one,
When will these voices stop?
Now Cecil please, I am losing my grip
I seek adviiiiice only from your lip
Shake this song, stuck in my head
I’ve got it baaaaad, wish I was dead.
Cecil, Cecil, gimme a clue, I’ve got a
Bad case of doper blues.
No pill’s gonna kill this wail, I’ve got a
Bad case of dooooooooper blues.
_(fade)_
---
### Author:  [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)
#### Post date: [March 23, 2001, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enter-this-thread-and-you-must-sing-the-blues/59086/16 "2001-03-23T13:45:32Z")
Here’s an old one…the “Non-Sequitur Blues.”
Lessee…G minor to…C minor…D seventh…G minor again, to A seventh…D major …D seventh again…and…
I hate to see
That evening sun go down
Hate to see
That evening sun go down
Cause the pawnbroker’s got
My nightcap and gown
Feeling tomorrow
Like I feel today
Feel tomorrow
Like I feel today
I’ll fire my shotgun
And dodge the richochet
St. Louis woman
With her diamond ring
She’s a spaceship queen
Bride of Emperor Ming
Twant for powder
And for store-bought hair
I’d trade her in
for a chocolate eclair
Got de St. Louis blues
Just as blue as I can be
Ain’t even got a chicken
That I can fricasee
Or a pot into which
I can take a pee
– Ukulele “A Blonde Headed Woman Make a Good Man Leave Town; but a Red-Head Woman Makes a Boy Slap His Momma Down” Ike
---
### Author:  [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)
#### Post date: [March 23, 2001, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enter-this-thread-and-you-must-sing-the-blues/59086/17 "2001-03-23T14:14:36Z")
Now I gotta sing the blues…this ain’t gonna be pretty, baby.
**Ba Da Dum Dah Dum**
I don’t usually care,
**Ba Da Dum Dah Dum**
'Bout no open-thread rules.
**Ba Da Dum Dah Dum**
But **Scylla** ’s a dude,
**Ba Da Dum Dah Dum**
I don’t want to bruise.
**Ba Da Dum Dah Dum**
So I’m postin’ this thread,
**Ba Da Dum Dah Dum**
And makin’ my song,
**Ba Da Dum Dah Dum**
But I got no blues,
**Ba Da Dum Dah Dum**
To help it along, nooOOWWWW…
See I’m a happyyyyyyy, a _contented_-happy man, now, bay-be…I got’s me no blues, no, no blues to carry me away, darlin’…naw, no blues at all. The only thing I gots to gripe about, now, is my woman being miles away-yay-yay-yeah-yay, unh-huh, yeah. My baby’s far away, now…
\
---
### Author:  [@Monkey\_Chews](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monkey_Chews)
#### Post date: [March 23, 2001, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enter-this-thread-and-you-must-sing-the-blues/59086/18 "2001-03-23T14:29:14Z")
I met my ex-boyfriend, we went out for a beer
**Buh-da-da duh-dum**
He got a new boyfriend, he invited him here
**Buh-da-da duh-dum**
He wants me to meet him, wants to see what I think
**Buh-da-da duh-dum**
As soon as I laid my eyes on him, I said “Get me a drink”
Cause he looks like me!
Man oh man, that brother looks just like me!
I got the “My boyfriend’s got a new boyfriend
And he looks exactly like me” blues.
I look at the new boyfriend, and he’s looking it me
**Buh-da-da duh-dum**
Are we thinkin’ the same thing, can he see what I see?
**Buh-da-da duh-dum**
It’s like a reflection, and it feels pretty strange
**Buh-da-da duh-dum**
We got the same eyes and mouth and hair and clothes, and a similar kind of face!
Yeah he could be my twin!
Tell me someone, what is going on here?
I got the “My boyfriend’s got a new boyfriend
And he looks just like the old one” blues.
Yeah sing it with me, come on, don’t it strike you as weird?
I got the “My boyfriend’s got a new boyfriend
And the damn fool looks just like me” bluuuuuuuuues…
…oh yeah!
[sub][sup]I love this thread![/sup][/sub]
---
### Author:  [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)
#### Post date: [March 23, 2001, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enter-this-thread-and-you-must-sing-the-blues/59086/19 "2001-03-23T14:47:25Z")
Woke up early this mornin’
**Buh Daaaaaah duh dum**
Tried to get out of bed
**Buh Daaaaaah duh dum**
Want to go back to sleepin’
But I got to go Workin instead! I got the…
**duh duh duh, duh duh duh, duh duh duh, duh duh duh, DUH!**
Low-down…_(YEAH!)_ somnambulist blues…
**duh, duh duh, duh duh, duh naaah naaah naaah, duh**
I said I…feel like I’m sleepwalkin’
**DUN**
But I wanna be next to you-ooo!
**Baby, make that geetar talk!/**
---
### Author:  [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)
#### Post date: [March 23, 2001, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enter-this-thread-and-you-must-sing-the-blues/59086/20 "2001-03-23T14:53:22Z")
It’s like some strange \*Adventures in Babysitting \* flashback, but here goes…
Well I don’t have a car,
**Buh-Dum Duh-Dum**
So I travel by train.
**Buh-Dum Duh-Dum**
It’s not very far
\*\* Buh-Dee Bee Dee-dum!\*\*
But it’s really a pain.
**Buh-Dum Duh-Dum**
It’s never on time
**Buh-Dum Duh-Dum**
When it turns up at all.
\*\* Buh-Dee Bee Dee-dum!\*\*
So I’m laying this rhyme
**Buh-Dum Duh-Dum**
'Cause this really chaps my balls!
It’s just the railwaaaaaaaays…
Every day a new excuuuuuuse.
I got those wrong-kind-of-railways,
Badly-managed ex-BR bluuuuuues…
**ba da da ba da da da bum…BA DAAAAAAAAH**
[sub]Thank you, London, and good night![/sub]
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