# Enter this thread, and you must sing the blues **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 23, 2001, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enter-this-thread-and-you-must-sing-the-blues/59086 "2001-03-23T02:24:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Milossarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Milossarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Milossarian)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2001, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enter-this-thread-and-you-must-sing-the-blues/59086/21 "2001-03-23T15:22:01Z")
My lady live downstate **(Bo-WEE-bo duh-bump)** So if I want some sex **(Bo-WEE-bo duh-bump)** Over this here weekend, Gonna have to bounce some checks! Yeah I got the blues … Not sure what to do … Got those low-down, horny, destitute, bi-weekly pay, five days away blues … ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2001, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enter-this-thread-and-you-must-sing-the-blues/59086/22 "2001-03-23T15:54:52Z")
You got a right to sing the blues if yo’ name is Big Black Bessie People named Jennifer ain’t so qualified I’m cute, middle class, and damn well-educated I got no right to be so unsatisfied But I am…Lo-ooordy I am…so unsatisfied ---
**Author:** ![frobozz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ed8c4c/32.png) [@frobozz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/frobozz)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2001, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enter-this-thread-and-you-must-sing-the-blues/59086/23 "2001-03-23T16:40:08Z")
Ain’t down enough to sing the blues **buh-da-da-da-da** So I’ll sing the greys instead **buh-da-da-da-da** They kinda’ like the blues **buh-da-da-da-da** ‘Cept they ain’t so sad. **buh-da-da-da-da** My truck needs an oil change **buh-da-da-da-da** And my dog needs a bath **buh-da-da-da-da** My wife went to the store without me, baby, **buh-da-da-da-da** And I gotta cut the grass, **buh-da-da-da-da** Oooh Oooh Oooh Oooh Baby! Oh Oh Oh Yeah! ---
**Author:** ![Tretiak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a88e57/32.png) [@Tretiak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tretiak)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2001, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enter-this-thread-and-you-must-sing-the-blues/59086/24 "2001-03-23T17:06:34Z")
Just won the lottery **ba-da-da-dum** No bills in the mail **ba-da-da-dum** Tyra Banks gave me her phone number **ba-da-da-dum** And I got a painful hangnail **ba-da-da-dum** Got them painful, nothing-going-right hangnail blues ---
**Author:** ![Abe\_Babe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3ab097/32.png) [@Abe\_Babe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abe_Babe)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2001, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enter-this-thread-and-you-must-sing-the-blues/59086/25 "2001-03-23T18:02:51Z")
Even though I am a lawyer, buh-da-da-da-duh don’ know nothin’ about no court, buh-da-da-da-da today I got a good ass whoopin’, I feel like Robert Bork. I show up as requested buh-da-da-da-da right on the return day buh-da-da-da-da the judge is already jumpy, 'cause everyone there’s pro-se. I got’s de estate planner blues. The client was told not to show up, buh-da-da-da-da It was s’posed to be routine, buh-da-da-da-da The judge said “You’re gonna try this.” never KNEW he was so mean. I got’s de estate planner blues. De client’s on her spring break, buh-da-da-da-da my boss, at Disneyland buh-da-da-da-da if i don’t get this right, he gonna hit me with his hand. i got’s the estate planner blues. I begs the topmost jurist, buh-da-da-da-da to continue this for trial. buh-da-da-da-da He looks at me and grants it, all full of hate and bile. i got’s de estate planner blues. i still have one more motion, buh-da-da-da-da leave to file a counter-claim buh-da-da-da-da I hope the judge, he grants it, and that me, he will not maim. i got’s de estate planner blues. The man in black, he grants em’ buh-da-da-da-da While giving looks that kills. buh-da-da-da-da I think I’m gonna go back, to doing trusts and wills. I got’s the estate planner blues. ---
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2001, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enter-this-thread-and-you-must-sing-the-blues/59086/26 "2001-03-23T20:02:11Z")
I got my “move thread” workin’ but it just don’t work on you I got my “move thread” workin’ but it just don’t work on you I wanna move you to GD; I don’t know what to do I’m going to email to the Reader to get a new mother board I’m going to email to the Reader to get a new mother board I’m gonna move all you threads right out of GQ. ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2001, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enter-this-thread-and-you-must-sing-the-blues/59086/27 "2001-03-23T20:05:40Z")
I woke up this morning Buh-da-da-da-da Cat droppin’ books on my head Buh-da-da-da-da Hacking up hairballs Buh-da-da-da-da I wish one of us was dead Buh-da-da-da-da Got them evil cat blues… ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2001, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enter-this-thread-and-you-must-sing-the-blues/59086/28 "2001-03-23T20:52:02Z")
:::harmonica solo::: ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2001, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enter-this-thread-and-you-must-sing-the-blues/59086/29 "2001-03-23T21:04:31Z")
Well I woke up this mornin’ Couldn’t stop giggling like a loon I said I woke up this mornin’ Couldn’t stop giggling like a loon And if I don’t stop this giggling They’re gonna lock me away real soon. Well I wandered through the BBQ Pit Never should have read [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=64249) I said I wandered through the BBQ Pit I really never should have read [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=64249) (this one right here) Because I read it and started giggling Now I got the “Can’t stop this foolish giggling over the name ‘Swishy McJackass’ Blues.” ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2001, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enter-this-thread-and-you-must-sing-the-blues/59086/30 "2001-03-23T21:22:50Z")
[Picture me dolled up like Lauren Bacall, perched atop a pie-anner in Rick’s Café American]: My Mama done tol’ me, When I was in pigtails, My Mama done tol’ me, "hon, A man he can sweet-talk And give you the glad eye— But when the sweet-talkin’s done: A man is a two-face, A worrisome thing who’ll leave ya to sing The blues in the night . . . " Now the rain’s a-fallin’, Hear the train a-callin’ Wooey—my Mama done tol’ me— Hear the lonesome whistle Blowin’ ‘cross the trestle Wooey—my Mama done tol’ me— A-clickety-clack, a-echoin’ back The blues in the night . . . From Natchez to Mobile— From Memphis to St. Joe— Wherever the four winds blow. I’ve been in some big towns I’ve heard me some big talk— But there is one thing I know: A man is a two-face, A worrisome thing who’ll leave ya to sing The blues in the night . . . ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2001, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enter-this-thread-and-you-must-sing-the-blues/59086/31 "2001-03-23T21:46:24Z")
I woke up this weekend Buh-da-da-da-da Put on my shoes Buh-da-da-da-da I went out a-runnin’ Buh-da-da-da-da Got me the chaffed boobies blues! ---
**Author:** ![Rasa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rasa/32/3578_2.png) [@Rasa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rasa)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2001, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enter-this-thread-and-you-must-sing-the-blues/59086/32 "2001-03-23T22:29:07Z")
Drove my boyfriend crazy **Ba daa daa daa dum** Now he’s locked away **Ba daa daa daa dum** I’m losing my job soon, got bills I can’t pay… I said Low-dowwwwwwwwn! Low down, broke and lonely bluuuuuuuuues… Oh yeah! I said low doWWWWWWWWWN! Got those far from home, need a huge loan, gonna miss my joooooooooooob… blues. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2001, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enter-this-thread-and-you-must-sing-the-blues/59086/33 "2001-04-03T11:10:09Z")
Well I answered this thread (ba dum ba dum) Then it suddenly died (ba dum ba dum) Wasn’t one that I started (ba dee da ba dum) But it still hurts my pride (ba dum ba dum) Was it coincidental (ba dee ba dum) Or something I said? (ba dee ba dum) Either way it don’t matter (ba dum) _Cause this thread is def’nitely dead!_ I got the blues… Those low down **Threadkiller blues** … I tried to resurrect it But baby it just ain’t no use… ---
**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2001, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enter-this-thread-and-you-must-sing-the-blues/59086/34 "2001-04-03T11:56:23Z")
I woke up this morning Ba daa daa daa dum felt like I’m gonna puke. Ba daa daa daa dum I wuz screamin late in the night Ba daa daa daa dum for my boys at Duke. Ba daa daa daa dum Dey had dis man Ba daa daa daa dum Woods, he wuz a brute. Ba daa daa daa dum But when the night wuz over Ba daa daa daa dum The sad coach was Lute. Ba daa daa daa dum I got da Bluuuuuuues, I got dem Blues. Oh, um wait a minute, I’m happy as shit! ---
**Author:** ![eirroc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f1d935/32.png) [@eirroc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eirroc)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2001, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enter-this-thread-and-you-must-sing-the-blues/59086/35 "2001-04-03T13:50:34Z")
I opened this today and laughed till my stomach was sore, the tears in my eyes prevented me from reading and laughing even more. I pictured **Scylla** stepping, in that stinky cat poo, then **Persephone’s** post struck me so funny I had to run to the loo. I’v got the laughing, sore stomach, tears in my eyes bluuueessss. ---
**Author:** ![Carpane\_Mado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4da419/32.png) [@Carpane\_Mado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carpane_Mado)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2001, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enter-this-thread-and-you-must-sing-the-blues/59086/36 "2001-06-04T20:00:26Z")
Had the stall locked around me Wheeee deedle waah waah And my pants on the floor Wah wah Wah Wah Waaaahhhhhhh Done finished my bi’ness whee wah wah wah wahhhh 'fore I noticed the toilet paper weren’t dere no moooorrreee Phweeeeeeeeeeeee I got dem ole low down wondrin’ how much I like this necktie bluuuueeeeeees (apologies for the out of tune harmonica) ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2001, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enter-this-thread-and-you-must-sing-the-blues/59086/37 "2001-06-04T21:48:18Z")
I just flew in from Chicago! Buh-Dum Duh-Dum and boy are my arms tired! Buh-Dum Duh-Dum My love of them old jokes, Buh-Dum Duh-Dum Sure get’s me wired! I know that’s realllly Lame! Buh-Dum Duh-Dum But Jester said it right, Buh-Dum Duh-Dum my problem is just the same! Buh-Dum Duh-Dum on cree-ativ-itty I am light! I got the Llllllllllowwwww Down, Stinkin’ Stankin’ Stunkin, Don’t know how to make up shit, Buhhllluuuuuuzzzzzzzzzzzzzz oooohhhhh Yeeeeeaaaaaaa! ---
**Author:** ![eunoia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eunoia/32/97_2.png) [@eunoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eunoia)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enter-this-thread-and-you-must-sing-the-blues/59086/38 "2001-06-05T02:15:40Z")
Well, if I must… [This thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=72621) got me all wistful and bluesy about old pinball machines I used to play, and this will make no sense to any who have never played Black Knight 2000 (all of you?) so I added some double entendres to keep your interest up. **(bah dah buh buh buhs omitted)** The Skyway Loop[sup]TM[/sup] Blues (with apologies to the Williams[sup]TM[/sup] Corporation) I got the skyway loop[sup]TM[/sup] blues baby Time to “stand up and fight” Roll of quarters in my pocket Gonna play you all night Labatt Blue[sup]TM[/sup] number twenty-two Got me feelin’ alright ‘Cause if I can’t find me no lovin’ Gonna have to beat the Black Knight Tried to save you from the night baby When am I gonna learn? Had no money to buy you things honey And my wheels just got burned Got a job flipping (Pinball[sup]TM[/sup]) burgers If you’re gonna “spend” you gotta earn Had your drawbridge down sugar Then your heart did a U-turn I went from a knight down to a knave Maybe 'cause I ain’t so handsome I didn’t have no Magna-Save[sup]TM[/sup] And it kept me from collecting your ransom (chorus) I got the blues I got the skyway loop blues So hard to get the news When they all leave in twos I got the blues (where’s that harmonica solo when you need it?) Last night I had you rockin’ Why did you split the scene I was pressing all the right buttons Now my hands are on a pinball machine (chorus) ---
**Author:** ![BigGiantHead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b4bc9f/32.png) [@BigGiantHead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigGiantHead)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enter-this-thread-and-you-must-sing-the-blues/59086/39 "2001-06-05T05:13:34Z")
(With apologies to the Kids in the Hall) … Y’know, recently, I had a heart attack. And for several minutes, Mississippi Gary was clinically dead … Eventually, I was brought in front of God himself. Now, God was sittin’ up on a barstool with an old beat-up guitar in his hands. And He said to me, ‘Mississippi Gary, you is not to be dead yet; because I wants you to take this here song, and play it for all My children on the planet Earth.’ So I learned that song, and it meant so very much to me. And now I’d like you all at home to use your Cut and Paste, so you can learn it, and study it. The Words of God… One, two. _bwEEE-de dum_ Smokin’ on a Night Train, chewin’ on a jelly roll. _ba-da-da-DUM-dada-DADAH_ Smokin’ on a Night Train, chewin’ on a jelly roll. _ba-da-da-DUM-dada-DADAH_ I’m runnin’ up a flag without a pole, I’m walkin’ on a shoe without a sole, Smokin’ on a Night Train, chewin’ on a jelly roll. [sup]Okay, here it comes now, Lesson One:[/sup] You can’t cook an egg unless you got yourself a fryin’ pan. (You know it’s the truth!) _ba-da-da-DUM-dada-DADAH_ You can’t cook an egg unless you got yourself a fryin’ pan. _ba-da-da-DUM-dada-DADAH_ You shouldn’t rob a bank without a plan, You shouldn’t use your tongue to stop a fan, Smokin’ on a Night Train, chewin’ on a jelly roll. [sup]Now, here it come now, Lesson Two[/sup] You shouldn’t wanna do it if you don’t want to not do it right (yeeesss sir), Eeba-dabba-dooba-dabba-deeba-dabba-doo all right! (I ain’t makin’ this up, hear?) You don’t go dancin’ in the day, You don’t go golfin’ in the night, Smokin’ on a Night Train, chheeeewwwwinnn on … a … Jelly Rrooooolllllll! _DEE-de-dah-Dee-da-dah DUM da DUMMM_ ---
**Author:** ![Linear\_Crack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Linear\_Crack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Linear_Crack)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enter-this-thread-and-you-must-sing-the-blues/59086/40 "2001-06-05T05:17:12Z")
Lemme tell ya a story, _Bwaah Bwhaah Bwaah Bwaah_ bout a man named Crack, _Bwaah Bwhaah Bwaah Bwaah_ he found Straight Dope, _Bwaah Bwhaah Bwaah Bwaah_ while searching for **smack** , _Bwaah Bwhaah Bwaah Bwaah_ He don’t post a lot, _Bwaah Bwhaah Bwaah Bwaah_ be cause he’s a boob, _Bwaah Bwhaah Bwaah Bwaah_ and that’s why I’ll remain, _Bwaah Bwhaah Bwaah Bwaah_ **A FRIGGIN NEWB!!** [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enter-this-thread-and-you-must-sing-the-blues/59086.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enter-this-thread-and-you-must-sing-the-blues/59086.md?page=3)