# Enterprise-Carpenter Street spoilers **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 26, 2003, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-carpenter-street-spoilers/215315 "2003-11-26T03:26:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 8:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-carpenter-street-spoilers/215315/101 "2003-12-02T08:23:43Z")
hey, **tracer** , what’s your blood type? Do you wanna earn $25? ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-carpenter-street-spoilers/215315/102 "2003-12-02T15:08:54Z")
Only if I also get a cookie. ---
**Author:** ![Corner\_Case](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/corner_case/32/234_2.png) [@Corner\_Case](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corner_Case)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-carpenter-street-spoilers/215315/103 "2003-12-02T15:22:32Z")
Season Four: Goodbye Mr. Chimp _Enterprise_ is hit by more anomalies and time-worms infest Mayweather. He de-evolves into a proto-ape and becomes Mr. Chimp. His memories, since they are stored in his DNA, move back in time as well and alter all of mankind. Mankind becomes a race that wants to take the latest serviceable weapons and upgrade them with newer weapons even if the new ones cannot be understood or maintained. I.e. no apparent change occurs to mankind. Greater dexterity makes Mr. Chimp a better pilot and _Enterprise_ avoids all further anomalies in the Expanse. He becomes a much bigger hit with the women onboard ship. Did I mention he has a prehensile tail? One night, finding Mr. Chimp, Hoshi, T’Pol, and Trip in a menage-a-quatre, Porthos bites Mr. Chimp out of jealousy because he used to get to sit on all the girls laps and lick them. Porthos then de-evolves into a bird. Meanwhile, Phlox has been overjoyed to be able to play with Mr. Chimp’s DNA. He creates test serums to see what effect the DNA has on other species. Mr. Chimp is furious with Porthos and chases him but can’t catch him. His rampage knocks crew members against Phlox’s syringes and people being to de-evolve. Reed de-evolves into a lizard with a snear and pursues T’Pol trying to phaser her. T’Pol de-evolves into an insect. Hoshi de-evolves into a catfish, and Archer turns into a sloth. In a rage Mr. Chimp careens the ship around a star hoping to pin the bird against a wall but forgets about grav-plates. The ship begins to slingshot back in time. Trip gets the ship under control but get spasms because he’s gone too long without neuro-pressure treatments. The de-evolved crew escape to the nearest planet and continue to pursue each other. Trip tries to take the ship back to the future but his efforts are cut short when Phlox injects him with the de-evolving serum. He didn’t consent but Phlox just says that Trip agreed to an injection of something sometime before so his Denobulan Ethics are preserved. The ship, out of control slips out of the time-stream and careens into a planet. The planet is the Xindi-homeworld populated by the de-evolved Porthos, Reed, T’Pol, Hoshi, and Archer. They scan the ship dive-bombing them and so begins their hatred of the humans who destroyed their world. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-carpenter-street-spoilers/215315/104 "2003-12-02T15:23:18Z")
[Arnold in _Twins_] I can’t wait to toss your cookies. [/Ai_T_] ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-carpenter-street-spoilers/215315/105 "2003-12-02T15:26:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Corner Case \* > \*\*Season Four: Goodbye Mr. Chimp > > _Enterprise_ is hit by more anomalies and time-worms infest Mayweather. He de-evolves into a proto-ape and becomes Mr. Chimp. His memories, since they are stored in his DNA, move back in time as well and alter all of mankind. Mankind becomes a race that wants to take the latest serviceable weapons and upgrade them with newer weapons even if the new ones cannot be understood or maintained. I.e. no apparent change occurs to mankind. > > Greater dexterity makes Mr. Chimp a better pilot and _Enterprise_ avoids all further anomalies in the Expanse. He becomes a much bigger hit with the women onboard ship. Did I mention he has a prehensile tail? One night, finding Mr. Chimp, Hoshi, T’Pol, and Trip in a menage-a-quatre, Porthos bites Mr. Chimp out of jealousy because he used to get to sit on all the girls laps and lick them. Porthos then de-evolves into a bird. > > Meanwhile, Phlox has been overjoyed to be able to play with Mr. Chimp’s DNA. He creates test serums to see what effect the DNA has on other species. Mr. Chimp is furious with Porthos and chases him but can’t catch him. His rampage knocks crew members against Phlox’s syringes and people being to de-evolve. Reed de-evolves into a lizard with a snear and pursues T’Pol trying to phaser her. T’Pol de-evolves into an insect. Hoshi de-evolves into a catfish, and Archer turns into a sloth. > > In a rage Mr. Chimp careens the ship around a star hoping to pin the bird against a wall but forgets about grav-plates. The ship begins to slingshot back in time. Trip gets the ship under control but get spasms because he’s gone too long without neuro-pressure treatments. The de-evolved crew escape to the nearest planet and continue to pursue each other. > > Trip tries to take the ship back to the future but his efforts are cut short when Phlox injects him with the de-evolving serum. He didn’t consent but Phlox just says that Trip agreed to an injection of something sometime before so his Denobulan Ethics are preserved. The ship, out of control slips out of the time-stream and careens into a planet. > > The planet is the Xindi-homeworld populated by the de-evolved Porthos, Reed, T’Pol, Hoshi, and Archer. They scan the ship dive-bombing them and so begins their hatred of the humans who destroyed their world. \*\* You left out a comma. (I’ll show you where later.) ---
**Author:** ![Corner\_Case](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/corner_case/32/234_2.png) [@Corner\_Case](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corner_Case)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-carpenter-street-spoilers/215315/106 "2003-12-02T15:50:33Z")
Okay, uh, Trip falls into a coma and awakens to find it’s all a dream. Oh, you mean _comma_. Sorry. My bad. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-carpenter-street-spoilers/215315/107 "2003-12-02T16:15:48Z")
Yeah – Trip falls into a **comma** and awakens to find it’s all a dream! ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-carpenter-street-spoilers/215315/108 "2003-12-02T16:27:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Corner Case \* > \*\* Did I mention he has a prehensile tail? > \*\* Chimpanzees are Old World monkeys and as such do not have tails. Another B&B screw up! ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-carpenter-street-spoilers/215315/109 "2003-12-02T16:31:33Z")
Um … chimpanzees aren’t monkeys at **all**. They’re great apes. ---
**Author:** ![Corner\_Case](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/corner_case/32/234_2.png) [@Corner\_Case](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corner_Case)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-carpenter-street-spoilers/215315/110 "2003-12-02T16:35:38Z")
Everybody always forgets the lemurs. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-carpenter-street-spoilers/215315/111 "2003-12-02T17:47:23Z")
Well they sure as !@#$%^&\* don’t have tails. ---
**Author:** ![Corner\_Case](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/corner_case/32/234_2.png) [@Corner\_Case](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corner_Case)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-carpenter-street-spoilers/215315/112 "2003-12-02T18:44:07Z")
[Really?](http://www.elams.org/Animals/Others/Zoo/thumbs/Panda%20the%20Lemur.jpg.html) Oh, the monkeys have no tails in Zamboanga, Oh, the monkeys have no tails in Zamboanga, Oh, the monkeys have no tails, They were bitten off by whales, Oh, the monkeys have no tails in Zamboanga. ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-carpenter-street-spoilers/215315/113 "2003-12-02T19:31:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tracer \* > \*\*Yeah – Trip falls into a **comma** and awakens to find it’s all a dream! \*\* [Spock]Captain, life is not a dream[/Spock] [Kirk]Go to sleep, Spock[/Kirk] ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-carpenter-street-spoilers/215315/114 "2003-12-02T19:43:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tracer \* > \*\*Um … chimpanzees aren’t monkeys at **all**. They’re great apes. \*\* Great? Well, maybe just okay. **Tars** , what are you quoting? There is no such scene and the movie never existed. Reset! NCB, your shipment is on its way. It contains both GOO and NOT-GOO. Don’t let them touch, or they will annihilate everything. Call Lazarus if you need help. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-carpenter-street-spoilers/215315/115 "2003-12-02T23:50:02Z")
But, Lazarus is locked in an eternal struggle with a maniac (hi, Tars!), how can he help? ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-carpenter-street-spoilers/215315/116 "2003-12-03T03:20:30Z")
I’m rooting for the antimatter Lazarus, myself… ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-carpenter-street-spoilers/215315/117 "2003-12-03T03:26:17Z")
Okay, now _that_ episode was an episode filmed on the quick with definite budget constraints. So, it’s nothing new in the world of Trek. See how I bring it all back full circle to the episode in the OP? ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-carpenter-street-spoilers/215315/118 "2003-12-03T03:32:42Z")
Too bad **AES** IS TEMPORARILY UNpostable. ☹ I could go back and redo al the letters I typed while the Caps Lock key was engaged, but that would be a lot of typing. We need **Kn(\*)ckers** back, too. Nice to see the **Penguinus Rex** back. And even the **Buckner** posted in a Trek thread again. Are the planets in some sort of allignment or something? Is this heralding the _Armeggeddon Factor_? ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-carpenter-street-spoilers/215315/119 "2003-12-03T07:15:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NoClueBoy \* > \*\*But, Lazarus is locked in an eternal struggle with a maniac (hi, Tars!), how can he help? \*\* You’re just saying that because i’m dancing like i’ve never danced before! ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-carpenter-street-spoilers/215315/120 "2003-12-03T07:18:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NoClueBoy \* > \*\*Are the planets in some sort of allignment or something? Is this heralding the _Armeggeddon Factor_? \*\* I hope not. Ben Affleck using animal crackers as a seduction tool was bad enough the **first** time. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-carpenter-street-spoilers/215315.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-carpenter-street-spoilers/215315.md?page=7)