# Enterprise Catwalk spoiler **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 18, 2002, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-catwalk-spoiler/143466 "2002-12-18T02:06:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-catwalk-spoiler/143466/41 "2002-12-19T03:02:50Z")
thanks. I finally found a home at The Dope. I never liked the other boards. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-catwalk-spoiler/143466/42 "2002-12-19T05:15:20Z")
–What’s the movie they were watching towards the end? –Okay, we saw _most_ of Chef. Now bring me his head! –I thought Hoshi was shaving her upper lip till I reran the tape. Nice tooth “brush.” –I liked this one, for the most part…but there wasn’t a teaser for next week. Are we heading into the reruns? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Great\_Zamboni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@The\_Great\_Zamboni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Great_Zamboni)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-catwalk-spoiler/143466/43 "2002-12-19T05:46:34Z")
Going a ways back in the thread, chef could be Isaac Hayes with his skin bleached like Micheal Jackson, or jacko himself. He has so much plastic on his body that he may never die. Future script for Enterprise: Season seven, episode no. 316, final episode, act three: ''Entire crew incapacitated, except chef. Chef takes helm, pilots ship out of danger, destroys generic, formulaic enemy ship(s). Camera pans up chef’s body, past chest for first time ever, reveals chef to be… …Emeril Lagasse! He was frozen in 2009 after a freak “BAM!” accident. The accident caused a complete reversal of his acting and cooking talents, making him to forget how to cook but inexplicably gave him acting ability! This explains how he got into a popular show as a returning character, but could only cook freeze dried space food. Back the current show… This episode seemed disconnected from the different parts of the plot. I’m tired of T’ Pol lying arbitrarily and Archer robotically commanding other robotic crewmen. > [@](#): > > So was this wave coming in at high warp or not? > If not, then not only did the aliens lie, not only would it have been an easily detectable lie, but the ship could have outrun it. > If it was, how did they see it coming from a window? It’s travelling at faster than light speed. > > Either way I’m glad they had four hours to prepare to get everyone into the catwalk but just not a second to spare using sensors on the damn thing. Gosh, if only they had more time. I won’t bother with the science of Star Trek. No one ever said it was good. The neutron thingy was travelling at warp seven, faster than Enterprise can go, unless that was chenged at the end. I didn’t see the end. I missed the part about why the aliens were refugees or fugitives or whatever, if it was there, so this may be why the episode was disconnected from itself. The crew needs a planned first contact where they actually visit an alien planet without having crashed there taking refuge. Some real screwed up diplomacy could follow, like in the first episode. And No more formulaic space fights. Why not visit Vulcan for a while to get the whole of Vulcan culture and to see what Vulcan citizens think of Terrans, not just icy T’ Pol. The show is getting boring. It needs a shot in the arm. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-catwalk-spoiler/143466/44 "2002-12-19T13:26:16Z")
The aliens had deserted from a military they said were pirates, thieves and no accounts. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-catwalk-spoiler/143466/45 "2002-12-19T13:49:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by vivalostwages \* > \*\* Are we heading into the reruns? \*\* Yep. Next week is [Minefield](http://www.upn.com/shows/enterprise/) again. ---
**Author:** ![elf6c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-catwalk-spoiler/143466/46 "2002-12-19T14:11:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tars Tarkas \* > \*\*So my illness made me miss work yesterday, miss studying for my Jap final, and made me forget to program the VCR. Which wouldn’t have mattered anyway since i leave town tomorrow and wouldnt have a chance to watch it for three weeks. Maybe it will be on back home, last time it was on at random times during the weekend, maybe i will catch it there. \*\* My UPN station replays the Wednesday episode on Saturday night. Maybe yours does the same-- you could set the VCR just in case. The episode is not too bad and is well worth taping. ---
**Author:** ![FordPrefect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e99b99/32.png) [@FordPrefect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FordPrefect)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-catwalk-spoiler/143466/47 "2002-12-19T17:58:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NoClueBoy \* > \*\*Hmmm… > > They could get the dimensions of storm X and Y, but not Z? They knew they couldn’t get around it, they knew how long they would be in it, they couldn’t see that it wasn’t very tall at all? > Is my TV better than their sensors? > (Storm should’ve filled entire background, not look like The Nexus) > \*\* Exactly. The storm was three Enterprises high. I felt like paraphrasing Chief Wiggum, “No, no, fly up stupid!” ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-catwalk-spoiler/143466/48 "2002-12-19T18:01:49Z")
What did Trip say to T’Pol at the end? My audio was drowned out by the kitchen sink. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-catwalk-spoiler/143466/49 "2002-12-19T18:15:20Z")
“See ya Tuesday”? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-catwalk-spoiler/143466/50 "2002-12-19T18:22:05Z")
The analogy is of a ship running from a storm, so they may be forgiven for not thinking in three dimensions. One does wonder if the special effects stuff is seen by the writes, though. 🙂 It would have been easy to show it being as high as it was wide; of course, then it would like like they could go around it as well as over or under. 🙂 I reckon it was moving so much faster that they couldn’t move away from it on either axis before it arrived at their position. Did anyone else find Porthos scene of scurrying into the locker annoying? ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-catwalk-spoiler/143466/51 "2002-12-19T18:35:04Z")
“What’s that, Porthos? Trip’s fallen down the well and needs insulin? Quick, go get me a phase discriminator!” Then again, maybe Porthos has heard Archer tell people to brace for impact enough times that he’s learned what it means… ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-catwalk-spoiler/143466/52 "2002-12-19T18:42:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ethilrist \* > \*\*"What’s that, Porthos? Trip’s fallen down the well and needs insulin? \*\* “Screw 'im, Boss. Wouldn’t give me any of his damn catfish.” ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-catwalk-spoiler/143466/53 "2002-12-19T19:20:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NoClueBoy \* > \*\* > > As for the x-ray vision… > > **Kn\*ckers** , I’m impressed! Your spleen is _gorgeous!_ > \*\* _Blushing_ Oh, I’ll bet you say that to _all_ the girls! Hey, baby, want a look at my pancreas? [Quote] - Originally posted by Jeff Olson\* \*\* What did Trip say to T’Pol at the end? My audio was drowned out by the kitchen sink.\*\* “When come back bring pie… PECAN pie!” And now, my comments about this episode, because I may be at work, but that don’t mean I’m workin’! 1. Chef is to _Enterprise_ as Vera was to _Cheers_. I doubt we’ll ever see his face. BUT what we do know of him is: a) He’s of medium height and build (well, unless he has a really long neck, or a huuuuge head, or anything). b) He’s impeccably neat, and managed to make dinner for the entire crew without spilling anything on his perfect white duds… I could probably think of more things we know about him, but I’m not very observant, and I’ve forgotten them all. 2. We discover that Malcolm gets seasick. No wonder he couldn’t join the Royal Navy. 3. As usual: Poor Travis. _Ça suffit_ with the cargo ship reminiscences, already! Lordy, does this kid have nothing else in the wooorruld to talk about? It’s sad. The only times he gets to say anything, it always has to be about his daddy’s ship. He is the most boring character ever created, with the possible exception of Harry “Yaaawn” Kim. 4. T’Pol can’t make friends. Well, no shit. When you’re uptight and bitchy all the time, and constantly point out what idiots your crewmates are, you’re not so likely to make friends. Want to know how to make friends? Strip poker. That’s how. Trust me. 5. Cute touch having Hoshi brush (or irradiate) her teeth. Nice to know dental hygiene is still deemed important. 6. As others have mentioned, the razor-thin storm was a little dumb. But I’m not going to bother with any other nitpicks, because I’m lazy, and have a very tenuous grasp on physics in the first place. Overall, better than most of this season. A bit thin on plot - no surprising plot twists, no deep character development, but cute, cozy, and decent. Oh, before I go, one more quote: > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by vivalostwages \* > \*\* > –Okay, we saw most of Chef. Now bring me his head! \*\* …On a platter! ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-catwalk-spoiler/143466/54 "2002-12-19T19:24:12Z")
Gr. I screwed up my coding so many times in that last post, it ain’t even funny. Suffice to say, the whole middle is not a quote from **Jeff Olson**. But you all knew that. I’m going to go boil my head in butter, now. When I wrote that, I thought it would be cute and funny, or at least make some kind of sense. It’s neither, and it doesn’t. I apologize to the whole world. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2002, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-catwalk-spoiler/143466/55 "2002-12-20T04:42:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NoClueBoy \* > \*\*Gosh, I always wanted to meet a “pure” girl… > > Sorry, Kn\*ckers \*\* * * * NCB, you surely must have noticed the tension (once again) between Malcolm and Trip in this episode. Half the time they’re old chums and the rest of the time they’re squabbling. Given your recent penchant for zeroing in on such things, I’m fully expecting some “slash” fiction from you any minute now! **PURE** ly in fun, viva 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2002, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-catwalk-spoiler/143466/56 "2002-12-20T04:51:19Z")
I was watching the episode with a friend of mine and when Chef did his walk-on in the bright white suit, I cracked my buddy up by saying “After this, he has to go feed his nemesis, Austin Powers!” ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2002, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-catwalk-spoiler/143466/57 "2002-12-20T05:04:29Z")
Thanks for the idea, **VivaVoom**. Were you reading my Loki stuff in **dougie\_monty** ’s threads? \*Malcom: “You ass wipe! Leave it up to you to build an emergency shelter with no f\_\_king privacy screens for the toilets.” Trip lunges for malcom, knocking over Hoshi and Chef and a large bowl of guacamole. Grabbing Malcom by the hair, he forces him over to an overheated power conduit. Shoving Lt Reed’s face mere inches from the searing heat, Trip holds a switchblade knife nears Reed’s throat and says, “You Limey-ass bog trotter! Give one reason why I shouldn’t slice you open right now and resequence your molecules into something more useful?” Sweat pours from their faces. A small crowd gathers to do what onlookers to a fight have always done. Egg them on. “Slice him open!” “He’s afraid of the dark, too!” We’ve already got one uptight alien bitch on board. Kill him!" [cut to a close up of Trip’s anger contorted face. He coughs spasmodically as blood begins to flow from his mouth, ears, eyes and nose.] T’Pol stands over Trip’s now convulsing body as Reed lays on the deck in a fetal position, whimpering. She pockets some strange looking weapon. “Who’s the BITCH now?!?” [cut to ultra close up of Porthos lapping up the blood – fade to black] \* Like that? ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2002, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-catwalk-spoiler/143466/58 "2002-12-20T05:19:03Z")
O **Clueful** One, that was marvelous! If only you had an agent, you could straighten them out over there at UPN. Now, for the sequel, be sure to work Archer into the body-slamming melee. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2002, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-catwalk-spoiler/143466/59 "2002-12-20T05:26:39Z")
Good grief, **NCB.** I think you added about 40 posts between now and last night. You will rapidly overtake my count, as I clearly don’t have as much warp-posting power as you do. –on impulse only, viva ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2002, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-catwalk-spoiler/143466/60 "2002-12-20T12:35:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by vivalostwages \* > \*\*Good grief, **NCB.** I think you added about 40 posts between now and last night. You will rapidly overtake my count, as I clearly don’t have as much warp-posting power as you do. > > –on impulse only, > > viva \*\* Maybe he drank some Scalosian water. mmmHEY! GLAVIN! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-catwalk-spoiler/143466.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-catwalk-spoiler/143466.md?page=4)