# Enterprise: Damage **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 20, 2004, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-damage/241036 "2004-04-20T15:08:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![athelas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@athelas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/athelas)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2004, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-damage/241036/81 "2004-04-23T16:40:27Z")
Well, I liked the episode, so as promised, I’ll force you all to read about my ideal opening credits. Music: [Babylon 5 season 4](http://b5epguide.tripod.com/bab5/season4/) The first segment would show the Xindi attack. The driving beats afterward would coincide with a slow pass over the Enterprise ending with the camera engulfed by the red Bussard collectors. Then the words “Star Trek Enterprise” would appear, cut off by the Enterprise flying by. And the remainder would be various scenes from season 3. But you see, it would be a ludicrous sequence for a bad show, hence my requirement of a good “Damage” for posting it. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2004, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-damage/241036/82 "2004-04-23T16:56:54Z")
I know you’re male yes but that wouldn’t matter to me seeing as how I’m bi (much more attracted to women than men but bi nevertheless) and you were only a bit player in my dream anyway. I only said it was really good to get your hackles up, which it did. 😃 If you want to read about it, it’s at [http://www.livejournal.com/users/aesiron](http://www.livejournal.com/users/aesiron) It’s easier for me to just give you the link than it is for me to go through the trouble of going to get it since my computer is so slow it would take me five minutes to load the page. ---
**Author:** ![Corner\_Case](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/corner_case/32/234_2.png) [@Corner\_Case](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corner_Case)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2004, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-damage/241036/83 "2004-04-23T17:04:38Z")
> [@athelas](#): > > Uhhh…you know I’m a guy, yes? … My antenna amplifier broke on me this week Not only is he not a woman - he’s an Andorian! ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2004, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-damage/241036/84 "2004-04-23T17:34:45Z")
> [@tracer](#): > > So every year for eight days, the Macabees rise from the dead and leave presents under good little children’s Chanukkah bushes at night? 😕 And the children leave Hillel sandwiches for them. P.S. The Rabbi on L’Chaim is adamant: There is no such ting as a Chanukkah bush. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2004, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-damage/241036/85 "2004-04-23T17:40:09Z")
_Jews In Space_ would make a cool series. I had a GF who was trisexual. If it was sexual, she would try it! ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2004, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-damage/241036/86 "2004-04-23T20:52:52Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > _Jews In Space_ would make a cool series. Mel Brooks had it planned for _History of the World Part II._ ---
**Author:** ![GrandfatherTrout](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f17d59/32.png) [@GrandfatherTrout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandfatherTrout)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2004, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-damage/241036/87 "2004-04-23T22:02:32Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Mel Brooks had it planned for History of the World Part II. Wait, really? Brooks actually intended, at some point, to do a Part II? I always assumed that the little ‘coming attractions’ reel at the end of Part I was a joke. (A funny joke, at that.) ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2004, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-damage/241036/88 "2004-04-23T22:39:52Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > The Rabbi on L’Chaim is adamant: There is no such ting as a Chanukkah bush. 🙂 So what do women use when they want to get laid during Chanukkah, then? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2004, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-damage/241036/89 "2004-04-23T23:09:56Z")
> [@GrandfatherTrout](#): > > I always assumed that the little ‘coming attractions’ reel at the end of Part I was a joke. (A funny joke, at that.) I believe it was a joke. Humor-it is a difficult concept. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![tarragon918](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d26b3c/32.png) [@tarragon918](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tarragon918)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2004, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-damage/241036/90 "2004-04-24T06:15:48Z")
Knew I forgot something! I forgot to post my comments on “'Damage!” 😃 -Archer is looking -way- darker, and I’m not sure that I like it. -just a glimpse of Porthos, and Archer totally ignores him! -Phlox was looking rather ragged! But still sexy. 🙂 -T’Pol … I kept thinking that she was going to take a big inhale from that crack pipe! I’m not sure what to make of T’Pol, especially as a Vulcan. I still like her, though, and am glad that they do have a Vulcan character–just not sure of her viability any longer. ☹ -Trip is looking sexier than ever … Rowl! And yes, Viva, he -does- have some of the hairiest legs I’ve ever seen on a man. 😉 Who the Heck is that sphere-builder woman?! I’m still getting very bad vibes about this whole arc and how it might possibly end. Can’t I just shoot Berman and Braga, and maybe hire someone who worked on DS9?! -which brings me to my last point: why can’t we have a DS9 movie? 😉 (sorry for the slight TAN here :p) tarragon ---
**Author:** ![iamme99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/57b2e6/32.png) [@iamme99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamme99)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2004, 8:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-damage/241036/91 "2004-04-24T08:00:54Z")
> [@Aesiron](#): > > It’s obviously a transparent transposing of real life events and while it makes for great entertainment since nothing is real, living in it sucks. > > I’m just curious, though… is Archer Bush or Rumsfeld? David Palmer… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![iamme99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/57b2e6/32.png) [@iamme99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamme99)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2004, 8:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-damage/241036/92 "2004-04-24T08:08:20Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > YOU FORGOT JANEWAY! > > She would’ve pontificated about using one’s good qualities for an evil purpose or vice versa, all the while getting more and more ramped up on raktajino. > > Then, she would assign Harry and Seven to create an alternate reality using nanites and fluidic space where all the rolls are reversed (yes, VOY would make sense and 20/20 would be an _American Idol_ type of popularity contest wherin the most popular story would become Truth). > > Having done this, she (Janers) would settle down into a sex fantasfy holo-novel based on The Canterbury Tales. > > At the end, the Saurians come and kill everything in The Expanse because it smells funny. Speaking of Janeway, where’s Q when you need him? He could have made them a warp coil with the snap of his fingers. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2004, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-damage/241036/93 "2004-04-24T16:11:14Z")
> [@tarragon918](#): > > -Phlox was looking rather ragged! But still sexy. 🙂 Good gad. > [@tarragon918](#): > > -why can’t we have a DS9 movie? Because they made Sisko a Worm Hole Alien/Prophet and scattered everyone else all over the universe. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2004, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-damage/241036/94 "2004-04-24T16:36:12Z")
Sisko said he would be back. The only real problems I would see would be getting Odo, O’Brien, and Worf back but the supporting cast is so deep that they could easily be replaced by others. Odo not being there would probably be the only character loss that would really piss fans off. Maybe Worf too but fuck him… I never liked his character. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2004, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-damage/241036/95 "2004-04-24T16:43:02Z")
> [@Aesiron](#): > > Maybe Worf too but fuck him… I never liked his character. 😛 Then why do you want to…? ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2004, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-damage/241036/96 "2004-04-24T16:59:33Z")
I never said I want to. If anything, the understood noun there would have been you. So, think you can handle a Klingon? I hear that their foreheads aren’t the only thing that’s ridged. ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2004, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-damage/241036/97 "2004-04-24T17:02:10Z")
> [@](#): > > _athelas_ > 'Twould be great if it turned out that Illyrians were part of the Romulan Empire (it > is called an Empire, after all) and figure in the Romulan war. Thus, Archer’s > actions in this episode would have consequences later. Somehow, I’m guessing that the Bermaga have probably just forgotten all about that little bit of the Trek timeline. “Romulan War? What Romulan war? Let’s do another Borg episode! And let’s make it a time travel episode!” :::Monstre pulls fur out, screaming::: > [@](#): > > _tarragon 918_ > Who the Heck is that sphere-builder woman?! I’m still getting very bad vibes about this whole arc and how it might possibly end. Can’t I just shoot Berman and Braga, and maybe hire someone who worked on DS9?! Except not whoever did the DS9 finale – that was a bit of a letdown for me. Oh sure, the first half was fine, except for how neatly they just “happened” to wrap up the Dominion War. The second half? an exciting hour of everybody saying goodbye to everybody else… Why couldn’t we just have some naked Ezri scenes instead? ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2004, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-damage/241036/98 "2004-04-24T17:04:39Z")
> [@](#): > > _Aesiron_ > So, think you can handle a Klingon? I hear that their foreheads aren’t the only thing that’s ridged. is that why their condoms have only a 32% success rate? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2004, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-damage/241036/99 "2004-04-24T17:10:08Z")
I’m not sure I want to know how you know that figure. ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2004, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-damage/241036/100 "2004-04-24T17:13:12Z")
Well, I just read the warning label on that package of Klingon Ticklers I bought… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-damage/241036.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-damage/241036.md?page=6)