# Enterprise: Dead Stop 1/1/03 \[Spoilers\] **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 2, 2003, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-dead-stop-1-1-03-spoilers/146150 "2003-01-02T04:12:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-dead-stop-1-1-03-spoilers/146150/121 "2003-06-10T14:43:03Z")
A few more for Archer’s reading list (actual books, according to [Amazon.com](http://Amazon.com)): Taking Back the Month: A Personalized Solution for Managing PMS and Enhancing Your Health - By Diana Taylor and Stacy Colino The Dog Lover’s Companion to the Bay Area (Dog Lover’s Companion Series) - By Maria Goodavage Oh, the Places You’ll Go! - By Dr. Seuss ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-dead-stop-1-1-03-spoilers/146150/122 "2003-06-10T14:50:53Z")
Oh, I forgot to mention: That was a mighty cute Expanse South ParK Trip, **viva**. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-dead-stop-1-1-03-spoilers/146150/123 "2003-06-10T19:36:30Z")
Thanks, **K.** I take my fun wherever I can get it. Got my first Pilates class today. I hope not to see Mr. Sweaty Yoga Buttcheeks or anyone even remotely resembling him. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-dead-stop-1-1-03-spoilers/146150/124 "2003-06-10T19:41:38Z")
I swear, every time I see you mention pilates, I think of Pontius Pilate. You wacky Californians and your weird exercises. ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-dead-stop-1-1-03-spoilers/146150/125 "2003-06-10T19:51:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by vivalostwages \* > \*\*Got my first Pilates class today. \*\* Like Pontas Pilate, the guy who killed Jesus? what exactly are we teaching today’s youth?:dubious: > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by NoClueBoy_ > Porthos: How could i forget him?!?!:smack: also Panda: _Nudity for Fun and Profit 1001 Uses for Decon Gel Ratings and Sex, the Definitive Guide Good Writing, or What NOT to do on a TV Show_ by Berman and Braga ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-dead-stop-1-1-03-spoilers/146150/126 "2003-06-10T19:54:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tars Tarkas \* > **Like Pontas Pilate, the guy who killed Jesus? what exactly are we teaching today’s youth?:dubious:** Thief! Scoundrel! Cutpurse! You stole my bit! ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-dead-stop-1-1-03-spoilers/146150/127 "2003-06-10T19:57:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Aesiron \* > \*\*I swear, every time I see you mention pilates, I think of Pontius Pilate. > > You wacky Californians and your weird exercises. \*\* Dah! I’l get you! And your little dog, too! ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-dead-stop-1-1-03-spoilers/146150/128 "2003-06-10T20:13:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tars Tarkas \* > \*\*Like Pontas Pilate, the guy who killed Jesus? what exactly are we teaching today’s youth? \*\* Wash your hands. ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-dead-stop-1-1-03-spoilers/146150/129 "2003-06-10T20:42:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by vivalostwages \* > \*\*…Got my first Pilates class today. I hope not to see Mr. Sweaty Yoga Buttcheeks or anyone even remotely resembling him. \*\* I thought of him during my workout, last night, I kid you not… I was remembering why I’m really glad I exercise alone. While I’m here, Selected reading for Chef - Chicken Soup for the Soul Cookbook: Recipes and Stories from the Hearth - by Jack Canfield Invisibility is the Art of Survival - by Hilda Doolittle, et al ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-dead-stop-1-1-03-spoilers/146150/130 "2003-06-10T22:20:49Z")
Just to put a little twist on the fun n’ games… What would the Enterprise NX-01 folks be doing if they didn’t have Starfleet careers? Speculate: Archer: dog trainer Trip: restaurateur Porthos: stray T’Pol: Vulcan martial arts instructor Hoshi: Sushi chef Chef: prizefighter Mayweather: sales associate? secretary, quietly buried in some back office? Phlox: Zookeeper Reed: Flagellant * * * Note to **Aesiron** : **Linus** and \*\*NCB[/] saw my ball. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-dead-stop-1-1-03-spoilers/146150/131 "2003-06-10T22:22:24Z")
Make that **NCB**. :smack: D’oh! ---
**Author:** ![Linus\_Van\_Pelt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@Linus\_Van\_Pelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Linus_Van_Pelt)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-dead-stop-1-1-03-spoilers/146150/132 "2003-06-10T22:28:47Z")
And I must say: **WOHOO!** ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-dead-stop-1-1-03-spoilers/146150/133 "2003-06-10T22:29:58Z")
Daniels: _Being Dead and Loving it Greatful Dead: The Music Return of the King There and Back Again_ by Bilbo Baggins _Time Travel…For Dummies_ ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-dead-stop-1-1-03-spoilers/146150/134 "2003-06-10T22:34:33Z")
Trip would be a garage mechanic. Hoshi would be the calendar girl on the wall. Archer would do stand up comedy. ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-dead-stop-1-1-03-spoilers/146150/135 "2003-06-11T00:15:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by carnivorousplant \* > \*\* Archer would do stand up comedy. \*\* **Archer** : Why do we park in the space dock and warp in the park way? **Future Guy, professional Heckler** : We don’t. You suck! **Archer** : One day, there will be some sort of directive, that will allow comedians to go on without being heckled… **Statler and Waldorf** : Not while we’re alive! **Statler** : This Guy’s jokes are older than i am! **Waldorf** : He could make a Klingon cry! **Statler** : I’m beginning to miss the bear! **Waldorf** : I can’t bear being without the bear! I shall go bare until the bear returns! **Archer** : Oh, Lord, no! **Fozzie** : Wokka Wokka! I just wormholed in, and boy are my worms tired! **Statler and Waldorf** : What were we thinking? **Fozzie** : Did i ever tell you about the time a Klingon went to a Vulcan bar? The Vulcan says we have a drink named after you, the Klingon asks “you have a drink named Gordar?” and the Bartender says “Yes we do!” **Future Guy** : That’s it, i’m blasting the Earth! **Fozzie** : _Orange_ you glad i didn’t tell the banana joke? ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-dead-stop-1-1-03-spoilers/146150/136 "2003-06-11T03:22:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by vivalostwages \* > Note to **Aesiron** : **Linus** and **NCB** saw my ball. 😉 :eek: Is it too late to annul our marriage? You can have our cogenitor. Call me old fashioned or what have you but I like to be the only one in a relationship to have balls or a ball. ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-dead-stop-1-1-03-spoilers/146150/137 "2003-06-11T13:26:56Z")
I think Archer would be a depressed housewife with an unsatisfying sex life, who sat at home all day, watching soaps, reading Danielle Steel, and eating chocolate frosting straight out of the can. The house would be an absolute mess, on account of he never actually did any housework, and when Trip came home after a long day at the office, they’d sit around the living room with their TV dinners and watch NASCAR. Then Trip would get mad and yell because the house is always a mess and Archer’s so lazy, and Archer would cry and wonder where this marriage is going and why can’t they have kids? They’d have a big fight, And Archer would find out Trip was sleeping with his secretary, at which point he would pile up all of Trip’s clothes and model planes in the front yard and set fire to them, and then he’d call his girlfriends for a chat-n-cry. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-dead-stop-1-1-03-spoilers/146150/138 "2003-06-11T13:34:45Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Kn_ckers \* > \*\* eating chocolate frosting straight out of the can. \*\* That’s disgusting for a number of reasons. ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-dead-stop-1-1-03-spoilers/146150/139 "2003-06-11T15:27:13Z")
It really is, isn’t it? In hindsight (heh), I can now see the toilet humor, which I completely missed in trying to describe the type of containers used for that dreadful pre-made icing. But I totally wish I’d done it on purpose. Side note: I am eating a VERY yummy piece of candy. It’s licorice flavored, which surprised me because a) it’s red, and b) I just ate a similar piece of candy that was also red, and was some godawful cinnamon flavor. Wierd. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-dead-stop-1-1-03-spoilers/146150/140 "2003-06-11T15:32:30Z")
There is red, black, and I believe, white licorice. But I digress. [DriveByPosting]You know, he _did_ wear dresses a lot on that other show. [/DriveByPosting] [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-dead-stop-1-1-03-spoilers/146150.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-dead-stop-1-1-03-spoilers/146150.md?page=8)