# Enterprise Expanse SPOILER thread! It's the season Finale, where's the \<3? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 20, 2003, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-expanse-spoiler-thread-its-the-season-finale-wheres-the-3/176383 "2003-05-20T20:40:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-expanse-spoiler-thread-its-the-season-finale-wheres-the-3/176383/121 "2003-05-23T12:10:25Z")
## Whooooo! Huge hippie rebellion! I totally want to see that next season… **Hippie:** GIVE _THIS_ PIECE A CHANCE, YOU BIG BRASS BASTARD! _[attacks Admiral Whatshisface with a phaser-cutting-phaser]_ **Admiral:** _[dying]_ AAAAUGGHHHH! **Snotty Vulcan Dude:** The Vulcan Science Directorate has determined that phaser-cutting phasers are impossible. **Hippie:** THE ANSWER, MY FRIEND, IS BLOWING YOUR BRAINS OUT!!! ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-expanse-spoiler-thread-its-the-season-finale-wheres-the-3/176383/122 "2003-05-23T12:12:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by athelas \* > \*\* > They didn’t have time travel, they had communication from the fyooooture. > > \*\* Quantum dating of the probe showed that it came from the future. The point of the mission is to destroy the bad guys before they attack from the future. ---
**Author:** ![elf6c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-expanse-spoiler-thread-its-the-season-finale-wheres-the-3/176383/123 "2003-05-23T12:37:57Z")
Take one part Star Trek: Voyager, mix with two parts Babylon 5: Crusade, and in a liberal dose on continuity destruction. Pander well. Half bake at 350 degrees for 4 months. Welcome to Season 3. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-expanse-spoiler-thread-its-the-season-finale-wheres-the-3/176383/124 "2003-05-23T12:55:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by carnivorousplant \* > \*\*Quantum dating of the probe showed that it came from the future. > The point of the mission is to destroy the bad guys before they attack from the future. \*\* I must have missed somthing, I thought they were Quantum dating the remains of the Borg sphere. ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-expanse-spoiler-thread-its-the-season-finale-wheres-the-3/176383/125 "2003-05-23T13:04:31Z")
No, I think they’ve forgotten about the Borg by now, **Jeff**. You’re thinking in continuity terms, there. Stop it! They were dating the probe debris, but I don’t understand why only some of it was from the future. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-expanse-spoiler-thread-its-the-season-finale-wheres-the-3/176383/126 "2003-05-23T13:14:59Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Kn_ckers \* > \*\* I don’t understand why only some of it was from the future. \*\* One of the few things that made sense in this episode. Different pieces were made at different times. The tires on my car were manufactured at a different time than the engine. ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-expanse-spoiler-thread-its-the-season-finale-wheres-the-3/176383/127 "2003-05-23T13:55:02Z")
Ah, thanks, **carni**. I somehow thought that they were talking about manufacture dates that were hundreds of years apart (which seems excessive), but I was probably misunderstanding the dialogue. Or maybe the aliens just warehouse some probe parts for a really, really long time. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-expanse-spoiler-thread-its-the-season-finale-wheres-the-3/176383/128 "2003-05-23T14:02:28Z")
My cousin has Geo. Washington’s hatchet. It’s had seven new handles and three new heads, but it’s Geo. Washington’s hatchet. I thought it was a few years. Maybe the difficult parts, like the CD player are made in the far future when electronics cost less and shipped back in time when labor costs are lower for assembly. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-expanse-spoiler-thread-its-the-season-finale-wheres-the-3/176383/129 "2003-05-23T15:44:31Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Kn_ckers \* > **Hippie:** GIVE _THIS_ PIECE A CHANCE, YOU BIG BRASS BASTARD! > _[attacks Admiral Whatshisface with a phaser-cutting-phaser]_ > > **Admiral:** _[dying]_ AAAAUGGHHHH! But … but … in order for a phaser-cutting phaser to have any effect on the Admiral, the Admiral would have to **be** a phaser! And we know that Phase Pistols and Phase Cannons weren’t introduced until season 1 of _Enterprise_. Given how old the Admiral looks, the only possible way for him to actually be a phaser is if he’s **from the future and travelled back in time!** Aha! He was screwing up the readings on those Quantum-Dating devices that Captain Archer was using! It all makes sense now. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-expanse-spoiler-thread-its-the-season-finale-wheres-the-3/176383/130 "2003-05-23T17:59:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tracer \* > \*\*Are you kiddin’? > > Remember the _ST:DS9_ episode “The Siege of AR-558”? That was set in the **24th** century, 200 years after _Enterprise_, and the Federation soldiers fought with weaponry about as effective as what your average foot soldier had in World War 2. > > Fortunately, the Jem Hadar soldiers were just as poorly equipped as the Federation. :rolleyes: \*\* I just hope these ENT soldiers don’t turn out to be a bunch of Starship Troopers. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-expanse-spoiler-thread-its-the-season-finale-wheres-the-3/176383/131 "2003-05-23T18:19:25Z")
Does anyone play any of the Star Trek single person shooters? I wonder what the military equipment is like and if it will influence the show. ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-expanse-spoiler-thread-its-the-season-finale-wheres-the-3/176383/132 "2003-05-23T19:00:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by vivalostwages \* > \*\*I just hope these ENT soldiers don’t turn out to be a bunch of Starship Troopers. \*\* Look out! Doogie Houser has joined the Enterprise crew! ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-expanse-spoiler-thread-its-the-season-finale-wheres-the-3/176383/133 "2003-05-23T20:59:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by vivalostwages \* > \*\*I just hope these ENT soldiers don’t turn out to be a bunch of Starship Troopers. \*\* Let’s hope the next generation of Klingons doesn’t have big vaginas on their heads. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-expanse-spoiler-thread-its-the-season-finale-wheres-the-3/176383/134 "2003-05-23T21:04:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cervaise \* > \*\*Let’s hope the next generation of Klingons doesn’t have big vaginas on their heads. \*\* Oh, Lord, do they have _three_ heads now? Smooth, turtle and…labial? At some point they decided to wear the cool looking turtle heads and keep the smooth ones in a jar. (Well, they do have to take them out and polish them once a month.) Lest it be known that such fearsome warriors were fashion hounds, they keep it a secret. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-expanse-spoiler-thread-its-the-season-finale-wheres-the-3/176383/135 "2003-05-23T21:06:26Z")
Or [big vagina-shaped handbags](http://www.artgoddess.com/vulva-page.html). ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-expanse-spoiler-thread-its-the-season-finale-wheres-the-3/176383/136 "2003-05-23T21:17:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cervaise \* > \*\*Let’s hope the next generation of Klingons doesn’t have big vaginas on their heads. \*\* Why is that a bad thing?😉 Come here, Grilka… ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-expanse-spoiler-thread-its-the-season-finale-wheres-the-3/176383/137 "2003-05-23T21:34:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tracer \* > \*\*Or [big vagina-shaped handbags](http://www.artgoddess.com/vulva-page.html). \*\* It’d be the perfect holster for your penis pistol. I wonder if Lorena Bobbit used a penis cutting phaser? ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-expanse-spoiler-thread-its-the-season-finale-wheres-the-3/176383/138 "2003-05-23T21:46:54Z")
Ways the next season could be cooler: 1. They get to the Xindi 10 episodes in, but have to deal with Suliban interlopers and Tholian terrorists. 2. The first Xindi they met are nice people and never heard of the temporal cold war or earth. 3. They then run into a different race claiming to be the Xindi, who look completely different from the first Xindi and different from the dead Xindi, who doesn’t look like the first Xindi either. 4. The dead guy is determined to be a completely different species, who the Suliban reveal will also be destroyed by Earth, but in the 27th century, not the 25th. 5. They find the weapon, but being made by Suliban and rogue Xindi 2, who may or may not be working for Future Guy. 6. Archer uses the force to destroy the weapon by trusting his feelings instead of using the targeting computer. wedge makes it out of the trench alive. 7. Trip is blinded by anger and tries to kill some Xindi, who hide in a residential area, but Trip attacks anyway, killing Xindi kids, and inadvertantly starting the hatred that leads up to Earth destroying them in the 25th century. 8. the Xindi are really a codename for Breen. 9. The commandos are lead by a hot ninja chick 10. the commandos try to kill all of the Xindi/Breen, but Archer must stop them, and we see a cool ninja fight. 11. The season finally is the hot ninja chick launching a bomb at the xindi/Breen homeworld, but we don’t know if it was deactivated by Trip or not, since he is still mad. 12. Hoshi wears no clothes 13. Porthos saves the ship when the hot ninja chick slips on his doggy doo and Archer captures her. 14. The borg not only don’t make an appearance, but never show up again for the rest of the series ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-expanse-spoiler-thread-its-the-season-finale-wheres-the-3/176383/139 "2003-05-23T21:53:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tars Tarkas \* > \*\*4. The dead guy is determined to be a completely different species, who the Suliban reveal will also be destroyed by Earth, but in the 27th century, not the 25th. > > […] > > 1. Trip is blinded by anger and tries to kill some Xindi, who hide in a residential area, but Trip attacks anyway, killing Xindi kids, and inadvertantly starting the hatred that leads up to Earth destroying them in the 25th century.\*\* Nitpick: According to Future Guy, Earth destroys the Xindi 400+ years in the future. This would be the **26th** century, not the 25th. ---
**Author:** ![Zap\_Rowsdower](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/3da27b/32.png) [@Zap\_Rowsdower](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zap_Rowsdower)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2003, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-expanse-spoiler-thread-its-the-season-finale-wheres-the-3/176383/140 "2003-05-24T03:56:06Z")
Quantum beats up the commander of the Xindi setting their ham radio on fire which then causes their lead ship to get blowd up real good. This ends the aliens hold over their 3 person army of the living dead. And Earth is safe once again. But for how long? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-expanse-spoiler-thread-its-the-season-finale-wheres-the-3/176383.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-expanse-spoiler-thread-its-the-season-finale-wheres-the-3/176383.md?page=8)