# Enterprise-Marauders **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 30, 2002, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-marauders/134486 "2002-10-30T03:09:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![FordPrefect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e99b99/32.png) [@FordPrefect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FordPrefect)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2002, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-marauders/134486/41 "2002-10-31T17:53:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tracer \* > \*\* > Speaking of “eating fish” and the skimpy butt-exposing pants T’Pol was wearing… \*\* I was too busy staring at the “fish” to even think of that, good one tracer! ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2002, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-marauders/134486/42 "2002-10-31T18:07:38Z")
Definitely mediocre. I halfway expected the end of the episode to have the kid running out to the landing field and saying, “Trip, come back! Come back, Trip!” > [@](#): > > **(vivalostwages)** I thought teaching a man how to fish taught him how to drink beer for a lifetime or something. On a show with actual writers – like, say, _Firefly_ – the head miner guy would have nodded along with Archer’s little parable, then said, “What’s a fish?” ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2002, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-marauders/134486/43 "2002-10-31T18:23:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elf6c \* > \*\*Enterprise-- from the writers of The A Team. > \*\* That would be so cool!!! Archer and company (the “A”-Team, get it!!) would modify a shuttlecraft each week via spraypaint and putting a wood board with a gun at the top. then cigar chomping Archer would quip “I love it when a plane comes together!” while Trip “Face” Tucker scores with the ladies, and Howling Mad Murdock Barclay flies a helicopter. And Mr T the Klingon pities the fools! > [@](#): > > **Tim R. Mortiss** — > as long as she keeps the Booty on Duty i nominate this as the best line in this thread! ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2002, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-marauders/134486/44 "2002-10-31T18:39:20Z")
Ah pity the fool that disses Porthos! ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2002, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-marauders/134486/45 "2002-10-31T19:59:19Z")
Gosh, that episode blew chunks. For all the reasons listed above. Made me nostalgic for the no-prosthetic forehead, sinister and cunning Klingons of the original series. The one bright shining moment of the episode is that the cute little kid who was told to hide when all the action started actually did so. No “Anakin saves the day by blundering around in a starship” crap. The total disgrace of the episode is that they _could_ have ended the menace of the Klingons realistically at the end simply by showing them a camcorder. Klingons who had gotten their butts kicked by a few miners and a skinny chick in a cat suit would do _anything_ to keep that tape from getting back to the homeworld. And likewise, they could have justified Enterprise’s reluctance to just phaser the bad guys into neutrinos by rightfully pointing out that if the news ever got back to Klingon, Earth would find itself in a shooting war with the big kids on the block. ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2002, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-marauders/134486/46 "2002-10-31T20:14:24Z")
Wow. That was a crappy episode. Really crappy. Crappy like getting a flat tire on a rural highway at midnight. Crappy like winning a game of strip poker against Rush Limbaugh. Crappy like my job. Yeah, it sucked. COULD it have been suckier? I’ll bet it could have. I’ll neglect the ranting and nitpickery, since it would be unoriginal of me to take part in the festival of disappointment that’s already going on here. So I’ll stretch my brain and see if I can’t come up with any ways it could have been worse… Top 10 things that would have made last night’s \*\* Enterprise \*\* worse… 1. If the Klingons had seen a mouse and run away screaming 2. If Tucker really HAD given the little snotnose a ride in the shuttle 3. If, Instead of a scary Ring of Fire, they’d trapped the Klingons in a Ring of Jell-O 4. If there had been a scene in which Archer actually taught them how to fish. 5. If the guns fired Love Pulses, and when the Klingons got hit (which they never did anyway, IIRC), they realized how much they really CARED about the miners, and decided to become great friends with the miners and humans and go on camping holidays together. 6. If poor Travis had had to go another episode with no lines 7. If, instead of teaching the miners how to duck, T’Pol had taught them how to create a mental-forcefield around their bodies through meditation. Actually, maybe that would have been cooler, not worse. 8. If there had been references to pecan pie. 9. If the miners had been saved by some bit of future technology from Crewman Daniels’ quarters. And, the #1 way last night’s \*\* Enterprise \*\* could have been worse: If it had been on Voyager. So, yeah, that’s me for now. Bummer my prediction was wrong, too. Kn(I’ll get it right someday)ckers ---
**Author:** ![a35362](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@a35362](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/a35362)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2002, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-marauders/134486/47 "2002-10-31T20:18:16Z")
And why couldn’t these big, bad Klingons just _jump_ through the flames anyway? ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2002, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-marauders/134486/48 "2002-10-31T21:24:20Z")
Jumping is dishonorable. But raiding colonists isn’t!! Hooray for double standards! ---
**Author:** ![Saltire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saltire/32/553_2.png) [@Saltire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saltire)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2002, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-marauders/134486/49 "2002-10-31T21:34:23Z")
It goes along with the same budgetary issues that make all aliens humanoid, but it bothered me that they had hydrogen flames that looked just like gasoline flames. I saw the setup in the first segment of the episode, and I told my roommate, “Cool. It looks like they’ll be starting a war with the Klingon Empire. They are supposed to have a war with them at some point.” But no, it was not to be. ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2002, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-marauders/134486/50 "2002-10-31T22:03:05Z")
We have to have a war with the Romulans first. Then a war with the Klingons. All in the name of peace, of course!! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2002, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-marauders/134486/51 "2002-10-31T22:25:16Z")
If B&B keep this up, we’ll have a war with Ms. Selma’s Day Care and lose. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2002, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-marauders/134486/52 "2002-10-31T22:35:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Finagle \* > \*\*And likewise, they could have justified Enterprise’s reluctance to just phaser the bad guys into neutrinos by rightfully pointing out that if the news ever got back to Klingon, Earth would find itself in a shooting war with the big kids on the block. \*\* You don’t suppose this episode is the first glimpse of a long arc that leads to the outbreak of human-Klingon war prior to the arrival of Kirk & Co.? Naah. That would require planning, forethought, and continuity. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2002, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-marauders/134486/53 "2002-10-31T23:15:25Z")
Too bad Porthos didn’t pee on one of the Klingons ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2002, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-marauders/134486/54 "2002-10-31T23:21:30Z")
Damn slow hamsters. You guys beat me to mentioning the Klingon war angle while my post above was processing. I still think it’s a longshot. The writers on _Enterprise_ haven’t demonstrated that much talent. ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2002, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-marauders/134486/55 "2002-10-31T23:22:10Z")
**Klingon #1:** “Your pet honors us with it’s urine!” **Klingon #2:** “All hail Captain Archer!!” **Nerdy Klingon Who’s Gonna Die First if They are in a Real Battle** :“Uh, guys, you do realize that is an insult?” **Klingon #3:** “Eat Bat’leth, fool!!” ---
**Author:** ![Hail\_Ants](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/dc4da7/32.png) [@Hail\_Ants](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hail_Ants)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2002, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-marauders/134486/56 "2002-10-31T23:36:18Z")
I’m glad to find out that I wasn’t alone in thinking this episode was lame. Even without a prime directive I could still see Archer not wanting to just fight their battle for them, but rather teach them to do it themselves. But come on. In that situation that meant killing them! At least one of them! It was total commie-pinko, political correctness. Saying that you could pull that off without actually even **hurting** anyone. **"What if they gave a war, and nobody came?"** Excuse me while I puke. The best scene in the 2nd season opener was, after all he’d been through, when Archer jumped back thru time onto the Suliban ship he told Silik that if he moved he’d “blow his head off!” It reminded me of the heady, un-PC days of Kirk & co. And it almost made up for the ridiculous notion of him letting Silik go at the end. I hope this isn’t a sign of post-9/11 things to come… ---
**Author:** ![Hail\_Ants](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/dc4da7/32.png) [@Hail\_Ants](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hail_Ants)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2002, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-marauders/134486/57 "2002-11-01T00:33:27Z")
A-ha! I’ve discovered why the Klingons were such wimps! Check out the guest cast list: Guest Cast: Larry Cedar as Tessic Jesse James Rutherford as Q’Ell Robertson Dean as Korok Bari Hochwald as E’lis Steven Flynn as Maklii Wayne King, Jr. as Klingon #1 **Peewee** Piemonte as Klingon #2 Klingon Peewee? **PEEWEE?!** **"When somebody says the secret word shoot your disrupter real loud!!"** ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2002, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-marauders/134486/58 "2002-11-01T00:43:37Z")
That’s one Klingon not to sit in front of in the Adult Holotheater! ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2002, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-marauders/134486/59 "2002-11-01T03:20:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ChuckForbin \* > \*\*Again I return here to defend Enterprise from the nitpickers. I can think of at least 5 reasons why this was a good show : > > 1] T’pols new catsuit > 2] No Wesley Crusher > 3] umm > 4] ummm > 5] Tpol’s new catsuit > > So there ! \*\* * * * Ah, **Chuck** …I’ve been waiting for you, and you came. I knew you would manage to find something positiveto say, no matter what. You never let me down. (Lieutenant Reed would call it “treacly optimism,” but he ain’t invited to this discussion.) 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2002, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-marauders/134486/60 "2002-11-01T05:09:46Z")
Kn\*ckers, you have truly defined crappy. I salute you. And it’s Give a man a fish and he eats for a day, teach a man to fish and he drinks for the rest of his life. I alway hear the ‘give a man a fire and he’s warm for a day. . .’ variant in my head, though. Sort of like a Weird Al tune. Once you hear it you can’t listen to the original without grinning. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-marauders/134486.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-marauders/134486.md?page=4)