# Enterprise panda? Whaaa? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 6, 2003, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-panda-whaaa/173341 "2003-05-06T05:41:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![LorieSmurf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a587f6/32.png) [@LorieSmurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LorieSmurf)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-panda-whaaa/173341/1 "2003-05-06T05:41:11Z")
I’ve seen “panda” referred to in many an Enterprise thread. I missed that joke somewhere along the line. Would someone enlighten me? Purty please? ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-panda-whaaa/173341/2 "2003-05-06T06:16:23Z")
A long, long time ago… In a thread far, far away… A Trek Doper referred to Pander the Panda beause of some overt sexuality in certain scenes in ENT. It was shortened to Panda. Search Cafe for Panda for about November of last year in an ENT thread. If you can’t find it, one of us will have it on our old CP, I’m sure. But, it’s late and I’m off to my sleep chamber. TTFN ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-panda-whaaa/173341/3 "2003-05-06T06:49:28Z")
There’s a Plushie Porthos toy, but we really want a Plushie Panda with anatomically correct parts. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 8:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-panda-whaaa/173341/4 "2003-05-06T08:26:02Z")
I have insomnia so [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=145476) you go. Ctrl-F and type in Panda. Notice the lack of **Aesiron**. That’s a dead give away that it’s a subpar _Enterprise_ thread. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 9:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-panda-whaaa/173341/5 "2003-05-06T09:35:53Z")
Sexual Harrassment Panda. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-panda-whaaa/173341/6 "2003-05-06T14:01:33Z")
> [@](#): > > _The relevant post from EnderW24 (note that in an ealier post to this thread, elf6c mentioned the pandering that we love so much from ENT)_ > Archer: a little to the left > T’Pol: Perhaps I should goo you down as well captain. > Panda: grooooowll > Archer: Who the hell are you? > Panda: I’m Pander the Panda. > T’Pol: What are you doing here? > Panda: I make an appearance whenever you do something completely nonsensical for the sake of pandering to some portion of the audience. > Archer: We’ve had tons of Decon scenes before. How come you just now came? > Panda: Sorry. I’ve been busy over on the set of Girls Gone Wild. > Porthos: Arf! > Panda: grooooowll > Porthos: Arf! > Panda: grooooowll > Porthos: Arf! > Panda: grooooowll > Archer: Will you two shut the hell up? > Panda: Sorry about that captain. I go into a feedback loop whenever I’m around cute animals. > Phlox: Captain, there are other contaminations on the ship. I’m sending one in right now. > Cute child: Hi, my name is Naomiwesleyjake and I’m really sick. _cough_ _cough_ I think I can still pilot the ship if you need me to, captain. > Panda: grooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooowll Aes, it ain’t subpar, it’s subwarp! Sorry, little Lorie girl. We’ll get this thread rocking just like all the others. Just wait till Kn\*ckers comes in here and loses her pants! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-panda-whaaa/173341/7 "2003-05-06T15:34:41Z")
_duct-taping pants firmly in place_ Yeah? Think so? I’ll show you! Why, these pants are stuck on better than any pants ever were before. Now, if only I’d remembered to put on a shirt… ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-panda-whaaa/173341/8 "2003-05-06T15:41:28Z")
I’m sorry, Kn\*ckers, I didn’t hear what you just said. I was too busy staring. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-panda-whaaa/173341/9 "2003-05-06T17:17:58Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Kn_ckers \* > \*\*Now, if only I’d remembered to put on a shirt… \*\* Suddenly, I have the horrifying suspicion that you are not really a woman. I have a hideous vision of a sweaty, hairy-backed guy sitting naked in his basement, fantasizing about a nubile exhibitionist who _just can’t help_ mentioning her sweet jujubees at every opportunity. Her perky, heaving, glistening… _–type type type–_ “Yeah, this’ll get 'em going…” \ :eek: _ogidy ogidy ogidy ogidy ogidy_ \ (Sorry. I just found it mildly ironic that the SDMB, while making fun of Trek Panda, cannot resist gravitating to its own species of bamboo-rubbing carnivore. :D) ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-panda-whaaa/173341/10 "2003-05-06T18:16:10Z")
Teehee. Well _you’ll_ never know, **Cervaise**. But for the record, I don’t have a basement. I see your point about the irony of our panda mockery, but for my part, I _like_ the panda. It makes me happy. Kn(who is pretty sure she really is a girl)ckers ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-panda-whaaa/173341/11 "2003-05-06T18:34:05Z")
Another Thread gone to Panda-monium! It is a Pandemic! Good thing i am safe in Panda Francisco! ---
**Author:** ![LorieSmurf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a587f6/32.png) [@LorieSmurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LorieSmurf)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-panda-whaaa/173341/12 "2003-05-09T05:56:16Z")
I understand now. I understand everything now. /kissing Star Trek Doper feet/ smooch smooch. Mmm…lick lick…nibble nibble… oh…sorry…Never knew i had a foot fetish… ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-panda-whaaa/173341/13 "2003-05-09T06:00:49Z")
You know? In real life… I really do have a foot fetish. 😃 How _you_ doin? resistance is futile… ooh baby… you will be assimilated… a little more to the left… oh yeah ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-panda-whaaa/173341/14 "2003-05-09T06:02:13Z")
Pft. Stomachs are where it’s at. Feet’re just smelly and nasty. ---
**Author:** ![LorieSmurf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a587f6/32.png) [@LorieSmurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LorieSmurf)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-panda-whaaa/173341/15 "2003-05-09T06:12:23Z")
Hey NoClueBoy!! I used to live in OKC! (now in Tulsa) So…were ya in the wicked tornadoes? You still alive??? Do you still have feet? ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-panda-whaaa/173341/16 "2003-05-09T06:15:27Z")
Hmm… maybe your mutant power is like Wolverine’s healing factor. Weren’t you face down in a ditch for like three weeks or more? ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-panda-whaaa/173341/17 "2003-05-10T18:25:51Z")
grooooowll ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-panda-whaaa/173341/18 "2003-05-11T00:51:12Z")
Help me Panda, Help, help me Panda Help me Panda yeah Get her out of my mind * * * I’m fine, see y’all in a little bit. ---
**Author:** ![Wearia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Wearia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wearia)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-panda-whaaa/173341/19 "2003-05-11T01:53:15Z")
**Wearia** : Welcome to the cult of Pander the Enterprise Panda. Last weeks meeting we discussed Hoshi’s hotness, T’Pol’s butt, how we hate Archer, how explosions are cool and where to find the best phaser-cutting phasers at cheaper than dirt prices. Now, we shall open the meeting with the symbolic fighting of Kirk and Spock from TOS. Who would like to volunteer? **tracer/NoClueBoy** : ME! MEEEE! OOO MEEE! **Wearia** :Alright, here are your large sharp sticks, music please. **Tars Tarkas** : Do do do, do do do do do, do do do, do do do do do do, do do do! NEE NEE NEE, do do do! DUN NUN NUN! DA DA! LALALA DUNNNNN! _Applause_ **Wearia** : Now, we will have **vivalostwages** say words in Klingon that sound like other words. **viva** : Mor Be’ir Woh Man! _laughter_ **viva** : Bu’uts ir Stenk E! _histarical laughter_ **viva** : Oi lek toi pek min noss ard iet et! _ **Aerison** dies from laughter asphyxiation_ **Wearia** : Now, discussion of who chef really is. **carnivorousplant** : Crewman Daniels! **Tars** : Ha! The Vulcan science command has stated that it is impossible to time travel if you work in food preparation! **carnivorousplant** : LIAR! **Kn\*ckers** : Do do do do do do do do, do do do. **Cervaise** : No **carny**! He has more arms then you! **carnivorousplant** : Shhhh! I’m hoping he doesn’t know that! **Panda** : F#@%ing nutballs… ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-panda-whaaa/173341/20 "2003-05-11T03:15:03Z")
**Wearia** , you totally rock my planet. 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-panda-whaaa/173341.md?page=2)