# Enterprise-Proving Ground spoilers **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 21, 2004, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-proving-ground-spoilers/225409 "2004-01-21T02:55:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Corner\_Case](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/corner_case/32/234_2.png) [@Corner\_Case](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corner_Case)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2004, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-proving-ground-spoilers/225409/81 "2004-01-27T18:22:35Z")
[QUOTE=NoClueBoy] Howie Long, Howie Mandel, Barbara Mandrel, Barbara Bach, Johann Sebastian Bach, Sebastian Cabot, Bastian [sub]Neverending Story[/sub], and then all those b@#@^! (you know, the hairdressers, telephone sanitizers, etc.) sent off in the other spaceship. I thought Flint left with the dolphins saying, “So Long, and thanks for all the persecution.” ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2004, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-proving-ground-spoilers/225409/82 "2004-01-27T18:31:32Z")
> [@Corner Case](#): > > Even if the Xindi wipe out Earth and all of the colonies, there’s still Amelia Earhart and Khan floating around in space. In the future, she will be known as Amelia Vacuumhart. ---
**Author:** ![Corner\_Case](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/corner_case/32/234_2.png) [@Corner\_Case](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corner_Case)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2004, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-proving-ground-spoilers/225409/83 "2004-01-27T18:44:39Z")
> [@Cervaise](#): > > In the future, she will be known as Amelia Vacuumhart. Talk about a dish served cold… [Kahn] I stab my vacuumhart at thee… [/Khan] [Mayweather] What was that thud on the hull? [/Mayweather] [Porthos] Nothing, just a pop-culture-sicle. Set course for Risa. [/Porthos] [Mayweather] You can’t be Sirius? [/Mayweather] [Porthos] Yes. Yes, I am. Engage at ludicrous speed. [/Porthos] ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2004, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-proving-ground-spoilers/225409/84 "2004-01-27T21:31:59Z")
**Viva** , _ **POOF!** _ You’re a rubber chicken. ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2004, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-proving-ground-spoilers/225409/85 "2004-01-27T22:39:19Z")
> [@Corner Case](#): > > [Porthos] Yes. Yes, I am. Engage at ludicrous speed. [/Porthos] Barf: Porthos has gone to PLAID! ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2004, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-proving-ground-spoilers/225409/86 "2004-01-27T23:01:16Z")
[‘Enterprise’ To Change Time Slots](http://www.trektoday.com/news/270104_01.shtml) My reaction: 😕 (since i haven’t decided on one) ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2004, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-proving-ground-spoilers/225409/87 "2004-01-27T23:32:24Z")
Yeah… and Jake is being replaced in part by the Mullets. I hate UPN. On the bright side, maybe Enterprise will go up in ratings now that it won’t be opposing Smallville. What comes on on Wednesday nights at 9:00 EST? ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2004, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-proving-ground-spoilers/225409/88 "2004-01-28T00:31:08Z")
_Westwing_ and _Angel_ ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2004, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-proving-ground-spoilers/225409/89 "2004-01-28T00:48:25Z")
They’re just making it worse now. Anyone else getting flashbacks of the '68-'69 season? ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2004, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-proving-ground-spoilers/225409/90 "2004-01-28T00:59:53Z")
Oh, man, you’re kidding me. Worse and worse. They might as well just throw the fucking thing down a hole. I guess TiVo picks _Angel_ first and hopes for the weekend repeat of _Enterprise._ No discussion of new shows until Monday, then, at least for me. Assuming I’m still watching. “You killed _Star Trek!_ You bastards!” ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2004, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-proving-ground-spoilers/225409/91 "2004-01-28T04:09:30Z")
Too bad. [These new eps look pretty good.](http://www.startrek.com/startrek/view/news/article/4291.html) Look for _Damage_ and _Azati Prime_ to be damn good eps. ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2004, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-proving-ground-spoilers/225409/92 "2004-01-28T07:39:57Z")
This Week on Enterprise, Archer and company are trapped down a hole, and Admiral Para-Exec has given them a shovel to dig up with. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2004, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-proving-ground-spoilers/225409/93 "2004-01-28T18:32:32Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > These new eps look pretty good. Don’t speak too soon, there, **Clue-Free Man** : > [@](#): > > _From the [Startrek.com](http://Startrek.com) link_ > The attacking Xindi vessels stop short of delivering a final fatal blow to _Enterprise_, but leave it virtually helpless with extensive damage and several crewmembers dead. Is this going to be yet another story where the attackers have our heroes on the ropes, but stop short of a death blow for no other reason than that the plot requires it? What possible justification could the Xindi have for letting a rogue human vessel run around their back yard? Every week, it seems like the Xindi knock down the humans, break their legs, and put a knife to their throats, and then stop and back off from certain victory for some inexplicable reason. For example, in “Rajiin” (the one with the Magical Mystery Hooker), given all the fancy gear the Xindi commandos had, and the overwhelming effectiveness of their boarding operation, why didn’t they just drop off a simple thermonuclear bomb on their way out that they could remote-detonate once they were a few dozen kilometers away? Even if it doesn’t actually work, it’s a sensible tactical move that gives our crew something else they have to handle in order to survive (“Beam it out! Beam it out now!”). And this sounds like more of the same: “We win! We win! We… leave.” WTF? And there’s more: > [@](#): > > _from the link_ > \ Strong, the writer \, also has an extensive Trek resume, her last script being “Exile.” That being the infamously dull Crab-Legs-Head show. Yeah, I’m stoked. I hate to be such a nattering nabob, but, I mean, come on. ---
**Author:** ![Corner\_Case](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/corner_case/32/234_2.png) [@Corner\_Case](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corner_Case)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2004, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-proving-ground-spoilers/225409/94 "2004-01-28T18:57:31Z")
> [@Cervaise](#): > > … stop short of delivering a final fatal blow … You stole my commentary, damn your hamsters! But, I would have added: [Scott] Hey, I’ll go to my room, get a gun, and BAM, right between the eyes! [/Scott] [Dr. Evil] You just … don’t get it, do you? [/Dr. Evil] And in the Star Trek commentary on [Stratagem](http://www.startrek.com/startrek/view/series/ENT/episode/3715.html) it says “… which combines Archer’s acting skills …” Oh, no, they’re DOOMED 🙂 It just makes me want to join the Xindi and just get it over with just to keep from screaming sometimes. I think Xindi is an acronym for Paramount eXecutives INDIgnant or INDIfferent or INDIctment. In the 29th century, the ancestors of the Paramount Executives, now destitute and INDIgent, plot revenge. Back in the 20th and 21st centuries the Star Trek franchise crushed Paramount. In an effort to reverse this they have decided to go back in time and destroy the franchise. Then… [sub]Predict the next poster: Tars Tarkas[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2004, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-proving-ground-spoilers/225409/95 "2004-01-28T19:57:01Z")
Wait, then is Future Guy Roddenberry, Berman, Braga, or a Mysterious New Executive? ---
**Author:** ![Corner\_Case](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/corner_case/32/234_2.png) [@Corner\_Case](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corner_Case)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2004, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-proving-ground-spoilers/225409/96 "2004-01-28T21:04:38Z")
Future Guy is Braga’s great-[sup]n[/sup]-grandson. He’s having this dream that creates an alternate universe (the universe of Star Trek: Enterprise) that seeps into the dreams of his ancestor, Braga, in this universe. It’s like a cross between \*Lathe of Heaven/i], _Number of the Beast_, and _Dreamscape_. He and his producer friends are the Xindi-Reptiles. Future Guy had Braga kill Roddenberry shortly after Braga joined the franchise. Braga also tried to kill Captain Kirk [(ref)](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0103804/bio) and he’s been sabotaging things ever since. He has these paranoid delusions about this _Enterprise_ out to get him, but he also knows deep down it keeps him alive so you get all these muddled situations where the Xindi can destroy the Enterprise but then don’t. T’Pol represents his logical side and that’s why she isn’t a proper Vulcan - he’s not logical. Reed is his angry, sexually repressed side, Trip is his rural roots side, Mayweather is his feeling of obscurity, Phlox is his desire to tinker with everything, and Hoshi is his cross-dressing side. Porthos is his cheesy side and no one can figure out what side Archer is because he’s so one-dimensional. ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2004, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-proving-ground-spoilers/225409/97 "2004-01-28T21:23:23Z")
Wait, so this show is Herman’s Head: The Next Generation? (Herman’s Sensitivity played the first Vorta on DS9!) ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2004, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-proving-ground-spoilers/225409/98 "2004-01-29T00:12:38Z")
People are always asking me if know Tyler Durden. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2004, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-proving-ground-spoilers/225409/99 "2004-01-29T00:15:38Z")
I am Kirk’s libido. ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2004, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-proving-ground-spoilers/225409/100 "2004-01-29T00:20:57Z")
I fall off Bridge. I kill Kirk. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-proving-ground-spoilers/225409.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-proving-ground-spoilers/225409.md?page=6)