# Enterprise "The Communicator" (Spoilers maybe) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 13, 2002, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-the-communicator-spoilers-maybe/136533 "2002-11-13T05:29:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2003, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-the-communicator-spoilers-maybe/136533/242 "2003-06-27T12:12:45Z")
Who is this Aesiron person? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2003, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-the-communicator-spoilers-maybe/136533/243 "2003-06-27T12:26:22Z")
Ah, nostalgia. Well do I remember the halcyon days of our youth; back when we were fresh and bright-eyed, and the world was our oyster. Nothing was impossible then! The universe was so full of undreamed possibilities! But, oh, how things have changed. We’ve become jaded, tired - shades and shadows of our former selves. The flush of youth no longer floods our cheeks; for now we are weary, jaundiced by the years. How time flies. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2003, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-the-communicator-spoilers-maybe/136533/244 "2003-06-27T13:28:38Z")
Is that Virginia Wolfe, Kn\*ckers or F. Scott Fitzgerald? ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2003, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-the-communicator-spoilers-maybe/136533/245 "2003-06-27T13:54:21Z")
It’s Virginia and F. Scott’s love child, F. Porthos Wolfe-Fitzgerald. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2003, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-the-communicator-spoilers-maybe/136533/246 "2003-06-27T14:02:49Z")
Ah. Humor. It is a difficult concept. ---
**Author:** ![Linus\_Van\_Pelt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@Linus\_Van\_Pelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Linus_Van_Pelt)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2003, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-the-communicator-spoilers-maybe/136533/247 "2003-06-27T14:25:21Z")
Never much cared for oysters. Can the world be something else for me? ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2003, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-the-communicator-spoilers-maybe/136533/248 "2003-06-27T14:27:45Z")
You lived in an _oyster_? How quaint. One day, I was walking on the beach, thinking back on all the fun filled days of my halcyon youth, when I stepped on a jellyfish. Being in sandles and shorts, the explodingness of the vicious polymorphous life form did a little bit of annoyance to my skin pieces. Remembering (along with the fun days of my youth) that meat tenderiser helps to Aleve™ the pain, swelling, and jellyfishness of the stuff that exploding jellyfish maliciously put on you when step on them, I pulled the meat tenderiser that I had in my pocket out and proceeded to slavver it all over the affected skin pieces which belonged to me and it really helped. Well, on seeing this, the news cameras that were following me (which, by the way, was very unnerving and offputting, I mean, where the hell were the camera men? the damn things were following me apparantly on their own volition, which I think is a greatly overlooked word) zoomed in on the skin pieces I was still carrying on my body as I was rather attached to them, what with them doing all the stuff that skin pieces are supposed to do, namely, hiold all my insides inside. Picking up a sharp stick which provedentially happened to wash up on the shore right in front of me, I thrust it thusly(!) at the peckerds. “Plinky there! What the hell do want of me?!” “Whirr, click, click, whirr, expand.” The “expand” part of that response took me by surprise. Yes, the news cameras had transformed, as it were, to the great beast machine Escalitor. “Arr! Ess! Tee! Plinky!” said the freak robot. “Shut up, dick-tionary-wad!” I responded. And then the cops shot me. Again. Fuck nostalgia. ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2003, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-the-communicator-spoilers-maybe/136533/249 "2003-06-27T16:02:01Z")
Wow. I’ll have what he’s having. ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2003, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-the-communicator-spoilers-maybe/136533/250 "2003-06-27T18:26:33Z")
That reminds me of the time i was at the 7-11… ::Wavy hand motions as flashback begins:: “That will be $3.24. Thank you, sir” ::Wavy hand motions as flashback ends:: wait a minute! that had nothing to do with **NCB** ’s story at all! and $3.24 is way too much for a pack of gum! ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2003, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-the-communicator-spoilers-maybe/136533/251 "2003-06-27T18:31:41Z")
You paid $3.24 for _gum_? What a rip off! ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2003, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-the-communicator-spoilers-maybe/136533/252 "2003-06-27T19:39:04Z")
Depends on what KIND of gum. My friend got really trashed at a party one night, and enged up going home with this gorgeous man or woman s/he met there. S/he woke up in a bathtub filled with ice, and discovered that his or her mouth hurt like hell. Upon standing up, s/he found that a note was written on the mirror in blood: “Call 911” My friend called, and when the paramedics came, they found his/her gums were gone; apparently stolen by the _femme/homme fatale_ that took my friend home. Turn out, gums are worth $3.24 on the black market. It REALLY happened. Well, not actually to _my_ friend. A friend of a friend… of a friend… I think. I know I heard about it from this one guy. I think that’s how he said it happened, anyway. It definitely involved gums. It really did happen! ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2003, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-the-communicator-spoilers-maybe/136533/253 "2003-06-27T19:43:27Z")
Thanks for the warning, Kn(urbanlegend)vkers. I’ll never go to a party again! ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2003, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-the-communicator-spoilers-maybe/136533/254 "2003-06-27T20:09:27Z")
That’s why I had an internal mouth zipper installed. It’s lockable. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2003, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-the-communicator-spoilers-maybe/136533/255 "2003-06-27T20:25:54Z")
…so how do you drink demon rum all zipped up like that? ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2003, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-the-communicator-spoilers-maybe/136533/256 "2003-06-27T20:56:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by carnivorousplant \* > \*\*…so how do you drink demon rum all zipped up like that? \*\* Straw through the belly button. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2003, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-the-communicator-spoilers-maybe/136533/257 "2003-06-27T21:03:25Z")
Ah, the Hunter S. Thompson solution! ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2003, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-the-communicator-spoilers-maybe/136533/258 "2003-06-27T21:35:44Z")
[Yesssss…](http://www.nexus1.net/OST-Photos/OST-16.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2003, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-the-communicator-spoilers-maybe/136533/259 "2003-06-27T21:56:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NoClueBoy \* > \*\*[Yesssss…](http://www.nexus1.net/OST-Photos/OST-16.jpg) \*\* He’s doing Karaoki! “Ssssssssssssssssssomewhere…beyond the Ssssssssssssssssea…Ssssssssssssssssssssomewhere waiting for me…My lover Sssssssssssssssssstandssssssssss on golden Sssssssssssssssssandssssssssssssssssss…and watchessssssssssssss the Ssssssssssssssssshipssssssssssss, that go Sssssssssssssssssssssssailin’!” ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2003, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-the-communicator-spoilers-maybe/136533/260 "2003-06-27T22:04:24Z")
[Jerry Lee Lewis](http://www.nexus1.net/OST-Photos/OST-17.jpg) Do NOT say, “Glavin!” [My boyfriend’s back and there’s gonna be trouble](http://www.nexus1.net/OST-Photos/OST-25.jpg) [Stop! In the name of love](http://www.nexus1.net/OST-Photos/OST-10.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2003, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-the-communicator-spoilers-maybe/136533/261 "2003-06-27T23:24:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NoClueBoy \* > \*\* > [Stop! In the name of love](http://www.nexus1.net/OST-Photos/OST-10.jpg) \*\* That looks more like a scene from Gong Show:2269! With the Unknown Logician! Unknown Logician: Hey, So this Klingon needs to cross a bridge with three Bat’leths, only the bridge has only enought strength for two of them, and if Klag leaves one behind, it will dishonor him! So he gets across via juggling them!" Audience: Highly Logical! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-the-communicator-spoilers-maybe/136533.md?page=12) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-the-communicator-spoilers-maybe/136533.md?page=14)