# Enterprise "The Communicator" (Spoilers maybe) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 13, 2002, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-the-communicator-spoilers-maybe/136533 "2002-11-13T05:29:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-the-communicator-spoilers-maybe/136533/61 "2003-03-05T01:04:59Z")
four wives? i have— ::seized by giant hook and yanked offstage:: ---
**Author:** ![Achernar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e274bd/32.png) [@Achernar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Achernar)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-the-communicator-spoilers-maybe/136533/63 "2003-03-05T01:55:07Z")
Boy, I have to admit I didn’t see _that_ coming. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-the-communicator-spoilers-maybe/136533/64 "2003-03-05T04:33:08Z")
Ye gods… I hope it’s not the same Bozo™ that stole all the vowells as the Hamburglar. But, anyways, We did determine that T’Pol and T’Pau were two separate people. \*I like the way the line runs up the back of her stockings. I always liked those kind of high heels, too No no no no Don’t take 'em off. Leave 'em on. Ah yeah, a little more to the left AAAAAAAAAAAAAYeah! Everybody! Want some! Everybody! Need some! Ow! Ow! Ow! Yeeeaaah! Look, I’ll pay you for it, what the fu…\* Panda Halen ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-the-communicator-spoilers-maybe/136533/65 "2003-03-05T05:01:59Z")
It _was_ the same Bozo freak monkey. See? Now he’s banned again. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-the-communicator-spoilers-maybe/136533/66 "2003-03-05T05:10:57Z")
Somehow, revisiting these episodes is just as entertaining as plowing through them the first time. Do you think we could redeem the gawdawful “Marauders” and “Vanishing Point” if we just try hard enough to have more fun with them? We may have to do this till April, you know. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-the-communicator-spoilers-maybe/136533/67 "2003-03-05T05:19:22Z")
**Viva** , (and anyone else interested) be sure and check the other Trek threads we’ve been using for the past couple of days. I don’t know if you’ve met Escalitor yet. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-the-communicator-spoilers-maybe/136533/68 "2003-03-05T05:34:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by carnivorousplant \* > \*\*An(iquitwatching)dromeda has these giant-machine-gun-robot-thingies named Frick and Frack or Tweedledum and Tweedledee or something. \*\* * * * Oh, God, **'plant** …Every time somebody says “Tweedledum and Tweedledee” it makes me think of that beyond-dorky scene in TOS’ “Plato’s Stepchildre” with Kirk and Spock dancing. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-the-communicator-spoilers-maybe/136533/69 "2003-03-05T05:35:34Z")
“Stepchildre” ? They must have been sired by **Monstre.** ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-the-communicator-spoilers-maybe/136533/70 "2003-03-05T07:47:28Z")
Tonight, and Enterprise event: Communicator! **Reed** : Captain! I’ve lost my communicator! **Archer** : We must go back and get it! to the Batmobile! ::Archer and Reed slide down two poles:: ::On the planet:: **Reed** : I left it right here, next to this glowing liquid! **Archer** : You fool, that’s radioactive goo! **Reed** : Oh, no! The Communicator has mutated! **Communicator** : I am the Communicator, i have come to kill John Conner! **Archer** : Luckily i am John Archer! **Communicator** : I have also come to kill John Archer! **Archer** : Oh, boy! **Reed** : Back to the ship, i’ll sacrifice myself to save you! **Archer** : Nothing doing, i’ll sacrifice myself to save you! **Reed** : Uh, sir, he’s trying to kill you, not me… **Archer** : Oh, yeah. Bye! ::Archer runs back to the Batmobile. Reed is killed by the Communicator:: **Archer** : Archer to Enterprise, prepare to run! A mad mutated commuicator has just killed Reed **T’Pol** : The Vulcan Science Directive has concluded that mutated killer communicators are impossible. **Communicator** : Surrender the Captain! **T’Pol** : I don’t speak to fictitional characters. **Communicator** : That’s it, i’m going to kill all of you, and your little dog, too! **Hoshi** : Not Porthos! **Communicator** : Mwahahahahahahahaha!!! ::Continued tomorrow!:: ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-the-communicator-spoilers-maybe/136533/71 "2003-03-05T12:54:15Z")
Heh. LOL, **Tars**. Really, I am. 😃 I agree that these old Trek threads are fun. Damned if I remember what the hell happened in this episode, 'cept there were 'splosions, as I recall, and a giant mutant robot named Communicator. _STOMP STOMP whirr STOMP whirr STOMP_ **I am Communicator, destroyer of worlds! I eat your virgins and enslave your young! I am all things cruel and mighty, and I have a bitchin’ backhand, for I am the evil TENNIS-PLAYING robot! Kneel before me, wretched humans!** Next week: Communicator vs. Escaltor. Be afraid. Be very afraid. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-the-communicator-spoilers-maybe/136533/72 "2003-03-05T13:23:30Z")
3-Love Escaltor. ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-the-communicator-spoilers-maybe/136533/73 "2003-03-05T13:35:14Z")
Oh. Hm. I didn’t mean Escaltor and Communicator were going to play tennis. Though I can see where you’d get that idea. I meant they were going to play water polo. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-the-communicator-spoilers-maybe/136533/74 "2003-03-05T13:55:31Z")
Oh. I thought it was fisticuffs. I was waxing metaphorical. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-the-communicator-spoilers-maybe/136533/75 "2003-03-05T13:58:08Z")
So… How shiney is _Metaphorical_ now? Do your eyes just slide off of it? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-the-communicator-spoilers-maybe/136533/76 "2003-03-05T14:00:44Z")
(turns on ntercom with nail fle) How can you have a red alert in…er, how can you have spoilers on a repeat? ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-the-communicator-spoilers-maybe/136533/77 "2003-03-05T14:05:19Z")
Maybe **Aeserion** hasn’t seen it yet? Maybe they include new scenes? Maybe Porthos morphs into a large winged lizard with a penchant for singing its threats? ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-the-communicator-spoilers-maybe/136533/78 "2003-03-05T14:48:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NoClueBoy \* > **Ye gods…** Watch your phraseology! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-the-communicator-spoilers-maybe/136533/79 "2003-03-05T15:02:26Z")
What? I didn’t hear that, I was buffing my Metaphorical. I swear, the damn thing takes more cosmetic care than Michael Jackson. Communicator and Escaltor, on the other hand, always look great, and with only minimal effort. Luchy bastards. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-the-communicator-spoilers-maybe/136533/80 "2003-03-05T17:40:05Z")
That’s not Michael Jackson, kn(\*)ckers, that’s his sister. Wait a minute…yeah, you’re right. May I borrow your power buffer? ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-the-communicator-spoilers-maybe/136533/81 "2003-03-05T17:56:04Z")
Absolutely, **carni** … Were you going to buff Michael Jackson (and/or his sister), or did you want to do some more work on your own Metaphorical? 'Cause if it was Jacko you were going to be working on, you’ll want the Extra Heavy-Duty Tachyon Pulse Super Buffer Attachment. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-the-communicator-spoilers-maybe/136533.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprise-the-communicator-spoilers-maybe/136533.md?page=5)