# Enterprise's "Chef": Your theories? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 25, 2002, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprises-chef-your-theories/133809 "2002-10-25T05:42:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2002, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprises-chef-your-theories/133809/1 "2002-10-25T05:42:50Z")
The elusive “Chef”…Will we ever actually see this person on **Enterprise**? If so, what will s/he look like? (I’m not sure that a pronoun has ever been used in reference to Chef.) If it’s a man, I think he’d be a big, burly, sweaty guy with a stained apron and a big hat. If a woman, she’d be a tough ol’ gal with a tongue as sharp as her knife. But what do I know? So…man, woman, ethnicity, species, clothes–it’s all fair game. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2002, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprises-chef-your-theories/133809/2 "2002-10-25T06:02:01Z")
Zee Cheff ooff zee Interpreese-a veell be-a skeelled in ell zee feenest ooff cooleenery deleeghts. Hees oor her footooreestic meel creeteeng cepebeelities veell cume-a frum mesterffool strukes ooff poore-a geneeoos. Trooly, he-a veell be-a oone-a ooff Iert’s ileete-a fuud preperers. Bork Bork Bork! ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2002, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprises-chef-your-theories/133809/3 "2002-10-25T06:35:25Z")
Well, whoever Chef is, he/she isn’t alien. In at least one episode, T’Pol, Floxx and Porthos were described as the only non-humans aboard. It’s possible that “Chef” is the artificially-intelligent proto-replicator program. I personally think it’s just a Chief Steward or other non-commissioned officer, as is typical in the Navy. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2002, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprises-chef-your-theories/133809/4 "2002-10-25T11:45:31Z")
No matter what he/she/it is, we’ll likely never see him/her/it. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2002, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprises-chef-your-theories/133809/5 "2002-10-25T12:12:53Z")
Access file “Running Joke” Specify “Carlton your Doorman” Illustrate. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2002, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprises-chef-your-theories/133809/6 "2002-10-25T13:34:43Z")
I think it is Vera. ---
**Author:** ![kingpengvin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9dc877/32.png) [@kingpengvin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kingpengvin)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2002, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprises-chef-your-theories/133809/7 "2002-10-25T14:06:02Z")
We’ll see him/her/it in the final episode in the final scene. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2002, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprises-chef-your-theories/133809/8 "2002-10-25T14:07:16Z")
I think he’s the great-grandson of the Frederic Forrest character from _Apocalypse Now_. ---
**Author:** ![Guy\_Propski](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/5e9695/32.png) [@Guy\_Propski](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guy_Propski)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2002, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprises-chef-your-theories/133809/9 "2002-10-25T14:28:57Z")
Bet it’ll turn out he’s an ancestor of Kirk/Picard/someother future ST hero. Or a time-travelling Wolfgang Puck… ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2002, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprises-chef-your-theories/133809/10 "2002-10-25T15:02:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by vivalostwages \* > **If a woman, she’d be a tough ol’ gal with a tongue as sharp as her knife.** Too bad [Kim Stanley](http://us.imdb.com/Name?Stanley,%20Kim%20(I)) died last year. She would have been perfect for the role. > [@](#): > > big, burly, sweaty guy with a stained apron and a big hat. Brad Garrett? ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2002, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprises-chef-your-theories/133809/11 "2002-10-25T15:12:36Z")
Nah. Probably some big beefy guy named Mel. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2002, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprises-chef-your-theories/133809/12 "2002-10-25T15:57:03Z")
I had a similar idea, problem is [Mel’s been dead longer than Poncho](http://us.imdb.com/Name?Tayback,+Vic). ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2002, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprises-chef-your-theories/133809/13 "2002-10-25T17:42:34Z")
I always assume it is Chef from Southpark. “Hello crewmen” “Hey, chef!” Archer:“Chef, i got a problem about a Vulcan woman” Chef: “Well, you got to Lay her down by the fire!! I’m gonna make loce to you vulcan woman, wooo-ooo-oo!!!” ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2002, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprises-chef-your-theories/133809/14 "2002-10-26T02:30:01Z")
Tars, you steal my thunder again, you scumbag. Issac Hayes, of course. “An’ how’s my li’l cracka’ Cap’n today?” ---
**Author:** ![Linus\_Van\_Pelt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@Linus\_Van\_Pelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Linus_Van_Pelt)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2002, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprises-chef-your-theories/133809/15 "2002-10-26T07:18:30Z")
Tonight’s Menu: **Chef’s Chocolate Salty Spaceballs** ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2002, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprises-chef-your-theories/133809/16 "2002-10-26T11:44:09Z")
So \*\*Ender, \*\* you think Chef is Swedish? ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2002, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprises-chef-your-theories/133809/17 "2002-10-26T12:04:05Z")
It is Guidon, the Whoopie Goldberg character. It will be revealed in the last epidoe and only insiders will get the joke. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2002, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprises-chef-your-theories/133809/18 "2002-10-26T13:33:43Z")
Bork de borsh de bork de bork. Its the Swedish Chef! ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2002, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprises-chef-your-theories/133809/19 "2002-10-26T14:36:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Baker \* > \*\*So \*\*Ender, \*\* you think Chef is Swedish? \*\* Øder tis moodle in der noggin tu smacken der ouchey und vinger-slingers ur to smacken-backen und fix de morkin, yøobetcha! poopcorn! Børk Børk Børk! ---
**Author:** ![Lodrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@Lodrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lodrain)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2002, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprises-chef-your-theories/133809/20 "2002-10-26T15:03:54Z")
Poopcorn? Sounds appetizing. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/enterprises-chef-your-theories/133809.md?page=2)